Catherine's POV

I felt the shift. The way the earth spins differently now that BTS are in America. They are on news programs, commercials, scheduled for late night shows... I feel slightly attacked.

It's been almost 5 months since they have been here, and 8 months since I left Korea. I've tried to ignore them, but they just keep getting bigger and more popular... They are literally ever-y-where. The only thing keeping me sane today is the amount of work I have to do. We have 3 weddings, a 50th wedding anniversary, and an annoying teens sweet 16 in the next 2 weeks.

The girl with the birthday is a BTS fan. She seems to know alot about me as a result of the bullshit posted on Twitter. Not that most of it is true, but it still hurts when she asks me if I actually know them... Was I really J-Hope's girlfriend? What's he like in real life? Blah blah blah...

I thought Bridget was going to slap her the other day when her questions started to make me tear up. She started talking about how none of them would ever end up with an American anyway. How he was probably just using me for sex. I bit the inside of my cheek so hard it was bleeding, but I kept the stupid smile on my face. I should have just told her parents we decided against hosting their function... But I'm a masochist.

Bridget's POV

5 months back on the night of the BBMAs, I went to Catherine's apartment feeling like there was something really wrong. I found her beyond drunk, chain smoking, and watching the BTS red carpet interview with tears spilling down her face. I tried to turn it off, but she didn't let me. I watched my best friend completely crack that night. She was convinced that they had moved on.

After that night, the Catherine I know disappeared. She comes to work every day, and goes through the motions, but she's not present. She's lost a dangerous amount of weight and I don't think she sleeps more than a few hours a night. I try my best to make her eat, or get her engaged outside of work, but I'm not successful.

I'm tired of watching her destroy herself though. I spoke to Ashley (Halsey) and told her everything that has been happening. I had been protecting Catherine, thinking I could help her find happiness again. The sad truth is that she's trying to end her life. Maybe she's not actively planning suicide, but she's ready to die and has given up on everything.

Hoseok's POV

Being in America is both wonderful and excruciating. Knowing that our tour is going to bring us so close to where Catherine is, makes it hard to breathe. The truth is, I don't even know for sure if she still lives there... I don't know if she's happy... I don't know anything about her anymore.

The amount of regret I feel for not fighting harder eats me alive. I should have gone public with the whole truth and professed my love for her. I should have condemned the shitty things being said about her online. I should have never let go of her...

Namjoon's POV

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, but I ignore it. We're heading to the Staples Center for a soundcheck now, and I don't want to lose focus. It's the first stop on the American leg of our Love Yourself tour, and we're all tense. My phone starts vibrating again so it's obviously something I can't ignore.

Taking the phone from my pocket, I see it's Ashley. I haven't heard from her in a month, so her persistence is intriguing. I still don't answer though. I'm focused on the members, with one in particular. They're nervous, but he's numb. I watch him go through the motions every day and just get worse.

When the phone starts vibrating again I give in.

"Hello"

"Sorry Joon. I just really need to talk with you."

"It's ok. What's going on?"

"I'm actually in LA and was wondering if we could meet. I can come to the show if I need to, but I was hoping to get some time alone to hear your thoughts."

"It has to be today?"

"I'm leaving in the morning"

"Ok. I'll call when we are back at the hotel. Could you meet me there?"

"Yes. Thanks Joon. See you later."

With that, she hung up. I'm curious, but put it out of my mind when I hear Hoseok and Yoongi talking.

Yonngi asks "You ok?"

"Yes. Just tired."

"You look it. Take better care of yourself Hobi."

"I don't care enough right now."

"I care. We all do Hobi. Please take care of yourself. I hate seeing you like this..."

That's the end of the conversation, and I know he means every word. He doesn't care. He's been threatened with being fired if he doesn't take care of his health and it doesn't change. He's had each of us tell him it hurts us to see him like this, and it doesn't change. I don't know what to do anymore. He's slowly dying, and there isn't a damn thing I can do.

Sound check

Things are going well until it's time for 'Just Dance'. Hobi begins his soundcheck and about halfway through he completely collapses. We all run to him and he's out cold.

Yoongi looks at all of us. "Has anyone seen him eat today?"

We all shake or heads because the truth is he doesn't spend any time with us. I call for the medical team, and they bring him off stage. After a short time he comes to, but still looks pale... Very pale... The medical staff continue to check him out, and when they finish the Dr pulls me aside.

"He's malnourished and dehydrated. He NEEDS to eat and drink. We're going to give him some IV fluids and electrolytes now, but he needs a meal."

I nod at him and look at my brother. He is hanging his head down staring into nothingness. I go to him and kneel down next to him.

"Hobi... Please stop doing this... It's enough now. She made her choice. We have to respect it."

"Easy for all of you to say... You don't know..."

"You think it's been easy? I care about her also. I want her to be happy Hobi. Don't you?"

Hobi - "Of course I do... And if she tells me, to my face, that she can't be happy with me, then I'll move on."

"She told you though. She sent that letter to you. It was her goodbye Hoseok..."

"That letter was all about how this is better for ME... She didn't ask ME what I think is best for me... Why would she just give up? I told her how much I love her... "

With that, Hoseok dissolves into tears. I take him into a hug and try to calm him. I beg him to eat and he nods. I know I have to do something, I just don't know what... Maybe I'll have to get Catherine to end things in person, or at least talk with him... Maybe Ashley can help...

Ashley's POV

After my phone call with Bridget the other day, I took a trip to see her. I managed to get a glimpse of Catherine, but it was painful. If I had run into her on the street, I wouldn't know it was her. She is too skinny. Her clothes are hanging off her already small frame, and her eyes are dead. They used to twinkle and spark... But that's gone.

Bridget and I go to lunch and she tells me how all Catherine does is work, and then at home she drinks at least a bottle of wine every night. She's smoking alot, and food is usually some soup, if even that. I see the pain Bridget is in because she knows that Catherine will die if she continues this way.

She reaches into her bag to pull out a journal and places it on the table. She caresses the cover and looks sadly at me. I wait because I can see she is trying to make a decision.

"I don't know if I'm doing the right thing... But I can't keep doing what I have been... It's not enough..."

"How can I help?"

"I'm going to lose my friend no matter what I do... So I'd rather lose her while fighting to save her."

"I'm not understanding..."

"I want you to take her journal. Read it and figure out how to help me... and her."

"Won't she notice it's missing?"

"I've had it since before the night of the BBMAs. She had put it in a drawer, and is using a new one now..."

"Ok. I'll read it... How do you think it can help? Tell me what I'm looking for."

"I am not sure. But reading that made me understand a few things. I think there are people that can help her better than I can right now. And you have a better chance of reaching them than I do."

I take the journal and just opening the cover and reading her first entry brings tears to my eyes. She started this journal from when she won the contest that made us friends. The way she described how much joy I brought to her before we even met was touching. I smile at the memories from that trip, and promise that I'll do anything to bring her back to being that person.

Wrapping up our lunch, I tell Bridget that I'll be in touch soon, and head to my car. I'm lost in my thoughts, and when a BTS song comes on I know I need to speak to Namjoon. I have some business in LA that I was putting off, but I think I can move it, and maybe get a chance to speak to him.

With new determination, I call my manager to tell him I'm heading to LA to meet with the producer he's been asking me to collab with. I honestly have no interest in the joint project, but it's just the excuse I need right now. I rush to my house and pack an overnight bag. Let's get this done...

LAX

When I get off the flight, I've read most of the journal, and I know what needs to happen. While I'm on the way to my hotel I call Namjoon. He doesn't answer, so I just keep calling. When he finally answers, we make a plan to meet after their soundcheck. I will go and meet the producer, and then have an excuse to leave when Joon calls.

The journal makes it clear that Catherine not only cares for Hoseok, but may have fallen for another member. But, the friendship she shared with all of them became like the air she needed after what her ex did to her. They managed to give her peace, and allow her to heal. The aftermath of the scandal stole that peace. She needs them to help her... That much is clear to me. Hopefully they feel the same...

Jungkook's POV

I see Ashley in the hallway outside Namjoon's room and I wave to her. She smiles at me before approaching.

"How are you Jungkook?"

"Ok. How you?"

"I'm doing alright. I came to talk with Namjoon about Catherine."

"huh? She is ok?"

"No... She really isn't... I'm hoping to find a way to help her."

"RapMon hyung is helping?"

"I hope so... He didn't answer. He must be in the shower."

"I-I h-help..."

"Thank you. I'm sure when the time comes you will be a big help."

She's grinning at me, and I don't know what more to say. I want to help Catherine if she needs it. Hell, I just want to SEE her. It's been almost 8 months since we've seen her. I dream of her almost every night though.

Author's POV

After his shower, Ashley and Namjoon sit down to talk. She tells him about Catherine, and how she is slowly killing herself. Namjoon tells her about Hoseok, and even the rest of the members. Her absence, and the way the company handled the scandal, has left a horrible taste in everyone's mouths.

Ashley hands over Catherine's journal to Namjoon. She asks him to read it, and call her when he has. He takes it and flips through it a little. Seeing pictures attached throughout, he can't help but smile. Noticing right away there are quite a few of Jungkook, he raises his eyebrows and looks up to see Ashley nodding.

"She was liking Jungkook?"

"Alot... But he never talked to her."

"He liked her so much, but he's too afraid of girls... He was anyway. But what about Hobi?"

"She loves him also. I know she was happy with him."

"He's so in love with her... If he finds out she also cares about Jungkook..."

"Isn't that for them to figure out? Just read this and tell me what you think. I feel like you guys can save her. I'm sorry for the pressure though... But it sounds like Hoseok needs some saving also... Maybe this will help then both.."

Yoongi's POV

Namjoon tells me that after the show he needs to see me in his room, and I'm nervous. I'm sure it's about Hoseok, but it's not like I know any better than he does how to help him. The concert starts and we put on a pretty good show. I saw Hobi trying to pull it together in order to not hurt ARMY. I know he's crushed, and wants to just give up. At the end of the day though, he still loves ARMY and will try his best for them.

I go to my room to change while Namjoon orders some food for us. I head to his room and I see Jungkook in the hall.

"Hey Hyung. Where are you going?"

"I'm going to eat with Namjoon. He wanted to talk to me. Where are you headed? Is something wrong?"

I watch him fiddle with his fingers and kick the floor a little... Weird

"No Hyung. I saw Ashley earlier and she says that Catherine is not doing well. I was just going to ask RapMon hyung if he knows... But I will wait. You go and eat."

With that, he turns and walks away quickly. He's still hooked on her?

When Namjoon and I sat down to eat, he asked me what I thought about the benefit of trying to reach out to Catherine. I smiled and said that I'd want to see her, and I know Hoseok and Jungkookie would also. To be honest, we all want to see her. He laughed at me and said if he didn't know better, he'd think I'm in love too.

Namjoon proceeded to tell me all the things he heard from Ashley and my heart broke a little. He showed me the journal, and we talked some about the fact that Catherine may like Jungkook. I guess it is one of those things that the three of them should figure out.

We made a plan to make a surprise visit when we are close to her. We will have to find a way to do it without alerting Hoseok though. We don't know how Catherine will react to us. I ask to read through some of the journal, and we sit together looking through her entries. She really is a funny girl. The pictures she printed really add to it. So many of Jungkook... interesting...

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