Catherine's POV

Bridget just came by to visit. Since the hospital food sucks, she brought me something to eat. She also dropped off a letter that came to my house. I look at the envelope, and the post mark is Seoul. I'll have to set it aside for now, since I have to go to a group session.

I've been working to get better. Most days, I feel so guilty about what I did. It was selfish of me. There are still days when I can barely get out of bed though. I wonder if this will ever change... The Doctors here tell me what I'm going through is not unique. That just pisses me off. If it's so normal, then people would be swallowing bottles of pills left and right...

Most of all, I hate that I hurt Bridget. She's always been there for me, and I said awful things to her. She says that she understands, and forgives me. But I don't know if I would feel the same in her position. I'm leaving this place in a couple days, and I can't wait to sleep in my own bed again.

There is a part of me that's scared to be where I tried to end my life though. Bridget said she'll stay with me if I want her to. I'm torn about that to be honest. I've gotten used to being alone here, and I get anxious around people. But this is 'my B' we're talking about... I'm sure having her there will only be a comfort. And if I refuse her, she'll be sick with worry since I told her I was just going to try again when I got out...

I don't know if she'll believe me when I say I'm not going to hurt myself. I am still not 100% when it comes to believing this life is worth it, but I'm not making any 'plans'. I had a hard talk with her Mom and it made me feel like the biggest piece of shit for what I put everyone through. I still haven't had the chance to apologize to Josh who I truly owe my life to right now.

Since I've been here, I haven't been allowed a cell phone. I've been writing letters to all the people I hurt in my journal. I know they won't ever see it, but it's helping me 'own' my mistake. Bridget has gotten a bunch of messages from Hoseok, and he's waiting patiently for when I'm home to talk. I know that I scared him, and he, and his group members, are the ones who realized I was in trouble. I owe them a thank you. He sent me flowers a few times, which is really sweet. I'm not allowed to keep them here though. It might trigger another patient... I'm sure the letter is from him.

Opening the letter, I'm in awe of the beautiful writing. I can't understand anything but my own name though. I have no cell phone to translate it either... It doesn't matter actually... It is beautiful to look at... And he took the time to write, and mail it to me, while he's on tour, even though I pushed him away...

소중한 Catherine

목숨을 끊으려는 당신의 이야기를 들었을 때 나는 큰 충격을 받았습니다. 인생이 더 이상 살 가치가 없다고 생각해서 유감입니다. 무슨 말을해야할지 고민하고 있지만 알아야 할 것이 있습니다.

너를 처음봤을 때 가슴이 설레였다. 당신의 밝은 미소가 나를 위해 세상을 비췄습니다. 눈살을 찌푸 릴 때도 당신은 아름다웠습니다. 네 눈의 불꽃
네 눈이 내 눈을 마주 쳤을 때 내 숨을 앗아 갔어.
너의 눈에서 눈물을봤을 때 그 원인이 된 사람을 다치게하고 싶었습니다.

당신이 나에게 의미하는 바를 말할 수 있으면 좋겠어. 세상을 떠나는데 성공했다면 어둡고 외로운 곳이되었을 것입니다. 내가 원하는 모든 것을 보여줄 시간이 없었습니다.

부디! 내가 가진이 감정이 사랑인지 모르겠지만,근데 난 너를 너무 신경써. 당신을 사랑하는 사람들이 너무 많습니다. 우리를 떠나지 마십시오!

날 떠나 지마.

Bridget's POV

Cath is coming home in a couple days. The first few days she was in the hospital, I spent time cleaning her house. I don't want her coming back to memories of how she let everything go. I bought her a new mattress, and sheet set. She'd be embarrassed to know she was so close to death that she'd defecated all over her bed. By the time I got to it, it was beyond saving, so she gets a new mattress.

It was a rude awakening to hear from her attorney that she'd left her house, money, and business to me and my Mom. She had really planned everything out. I am so relieved she's alive, but REALLY pissed that she did this. I can't really tell her that though, so I'll just hold on to the relief.

Her house has been cleaned, aired out, and is ready for it's owner. But if she thinks I'm going to leave her alone here, she's got another thing coming. It's going to take me a while to be comfortable with her staying alone.

I've received a number of calls from Hoseok over the past couple weeks. He, and his members, have been very concerned. He really likes her, and I have gotten to understand what she sees in him. He's the polar opposite of that piece of shit she was dating. He is trying to plan a trip to either come here, or meet with her half way when their tour schedule allows.

We facetimed once, and it was pure entertainment for me. These guys are total crackheads. The thing I noticed the most was Jungkook. He was very intense about understanding what was being said, and would get irritated when the rest were getting too loud for him to hear me. There's another member that I found myself watching... He didn't smile alot, but had the cutest gummy smile when he did. He seemed to be Jungkook's calming presence. Whenever Jungkook was getting frustrated, this guy would say, or do something and he would immediately chill out. I wanna know that guy... He's cute...

Hoseok's POV

Our tour schedule is breaking in July. We are supposed to be preparing for the next comeback at that time. I went with Namjoon, to talk with PD Nim and got permission for some personal leave. I will go to Catherine, or meet her somewhere in the world she wants to go, but I WILL see her. I'm nervous though. What if she really doesn't want to be with me? What if she doesn't like me enough to make long distance work?

3 Days Later - Catherine's POV

Walking into my house, with Bridget trailing behind, I take a deep breath. I can see, and smell, that Bridget has spent alot of time cleaning. I quickly turn to her and grab her. She's startled, but I bring her into a tight hug.

"I love you so much. I'm so sorry B."

"Catherine... You are the biggest bitch on the planet, you know?"

"I know! How can you possibly still want to be my friend?"

"Well...Who else will feed my enormous ego?"

"True... So true..."

We both laugh at our exchange.

Bridget continues to speak, and I am so happy she doesn't hate me. "So, no pressure... But you should at least text Hoseok now that you're home..."

"I will. I just want to translate the letter first. In case he said something important in it. You should see it B... The handwriting is so beautiful..."

"Well show me... I'm invested here you know!!"

We sit down in the living room, and I bring out the letter. She looks up at me, and starts giggling. I look at her confused, but smile as she says her next sentence.

"You're right. It's beautiful to look at. But what if it says to go fuck yourself? Will it still be beautiful then? Or it could say some really dirty sex stuff he wants to do to you... You're sure you want me around while you translate?"

She winks at me, and we both laugh for a while before catching our breath. This girl... What would I do without her?

We both bring out our phones and open translation apps. We both start working together and in no time, have the letter translated...

Dear Catherine

Hearing about you trying to end your life life hit me hard. I'm sorry you felt that life was not worth living anymore. I am having a hard time figuring out what to say, but there are things you need to know.

When I first saw you, my heart fluttered. Your bright smile lit the world for me. Even when you were frowning, you were beautiful. The spark in your eyes when they met mine stole my breaths. The time I saw tears in your eyes, it made me want to hurt anyone that caused them.

I wish I could tell you what you mean to me. If you had succeeded in leaving the world, it would have become a dark and lonely place. I have not had time to show you all the things I want to.

Please! I don't know if these feelings I have are love, but I care so much for you. There are so many people that love you. Don't leave us!

Don't leave me.

Bridget and I are both teary eyed reading the letter. What did I do to deserve this affection? I pick up my phone and call Hoseok.

otp:

"여보세요?"

"Hello? Hobi?"

"Cafferine??"

"Yes. It's me. How are you?"

"I good... How are you?"

"Better. I'm alot better. Thank you so much for the beautiful letter."

"Uh... Too fast... I glad you home. I missed you"

"I missed you. I'm so sorry... Really... I'm sorry."

"Wait. Need help..." I hear him mumbling something in Korean, and a the voice of Namjoon comes through the phone.

"Catherine? It's Namjoon. Hobi wasn't expecting your call and is nervous to say something bad."

"After the letter he sent, nothing he could say would upset me... But it's ok. We can talk another time. I just realized it's the middle of the night there... Oh no!!! I'm so sorry!!! Please tell him to call me when he has time and he's more prepared. I'll wait."

Namjoon whispers something to either himself or someone else about a letter... "Uh... I will tell him. I'm glad you're home. He will call you soon. Please take care!"

"Good night Namjoon."

Namjoon's POV

Letter? Did Hoseok send something and not tell me? He's been relying on me alot these past couple of weeks to help him get info. The calls he made to Catherine's friend, Bridget, were rehearsed so he could understand, and say things that made sense. I stayed with him while he called, in case he got in trouble... He NEVER mentioned a letter... Huh...

Jungkook's POV

I heard Hoseok hyung on the phone with Catherine. The call didn't last long, and he had to ask RapMon hyung for help...

I wonder if she got my letter yet.

_________________________________________

Thank you to everyone reading! Every vote and comment makes me want to write more!!

STAY SAFE!!

STAY HEALTHY!!

WEAR A MASK!!

**MASKS ARE SEXY!!**