So uh.
I drew this. The fingers are crooked ik

Uhhhmmm. I'll explain and it would mean a ton to me if you read it all
Ever since I grew out of being a kid (lol) I have felt anxiety, stress, and even sometimes depression(?) Idk About the last one, but I sure did feel depressed at times. When I first noticed these feelings, I ignored them. I continued as if they were normal. I became so accustomed to them, that eventually, I noticed the smallest things would upset me.
The thing that upset me the most was change. I hate change. I wish that nothing ever had to change. I wish my sister never had to grow up. I never had to move out of the house. Which is ironic considering the amount of time I spent arguing with my family. I hate when things don't go as planned. And I also hate that I have to move which absolutely sucks.
One time when I was 12 or 13 I was going on a trip with my family to visit the zoo. On the drive there my dad suddenly stopped and started talking to my mom. My dad turned our car round and we started heading home. I was so confused. Eventually, my mom explained that my dad had forgotten. He had a very important meeting for his work. We wouldn't be able to go to the zoo that day. We rescheduled for another day that week. Even though I knew we would go to the zoo and I didn't even really want to go to the zoo in the first place. I felt so stressed. I didn't know what to do with the feeling and I started to cry. I had no idea why that tiny change that didn't matter affected me so much.
Ever since then, I've noticed a small changes caused me to feel anxiety and stress.

Just today I had a plan in my head for what I was going to do tomorrow when my mom remembered That I had to babysit tomorrow. The moment she said that I felt sick to my stomach. After a few minutes, we made a plan so that I could still go where I wanted to go and babysit. A little while later everyone was getting ready for bed I'm going to bed and I still felt sad and stressed about tomorrow. I decided I was going to talk to my mom about it and I was working up the courage and thinking about what I was going to say to her while sitting on the couch. I felt like I was going to cry, throw up, And yell at someone. Just then my dad walked in And asked him a stern voice what I was still doing up and told me to go to bed. I love my dad, but he sure chose the worst time ever. I freaked out and let all my feelings out by getting mad at him and starting to cry. I walked off and eventually came back when I cleared my head. I fix things with my dad and talk to my mom and went to bed. Once I got into my room I... Started to cry. Again. I had talk through things. I knew what I was going to do tomorrow. But I still felt the same. I feel horrible and just wanted it to go away. Even now after like three hours I still feel a little sick to my stomach about tomorrow.
Does anyone know what's going on with me? And if you do, is there anything that I can do not to feel like this? I just hate getting so upset over the smallest things that don't matter. I really need this to stop. I want to not feel like I'm drowning in stress, anxiety, and sadness.
And now writing this it just sounds dumb and like I'm some sort of a crybaby ughh
Sry
Thx for reading if you got all the way down (: