June 15th - June 30th, 2012

We just stood there, frozen in disbelief. None of us could wrap our heads around what he was saying. It wasn't him. It just couldn't have been.

Bobby cleared his throat, breaking the eerie silence. "Well... all right then." He knelt down, throwing a skeptical glance our way. "Is this good, or... you want the whole 'forehead to the carpet' thing?" He gestured at the rest of us. "Guys?"

The four of us started to kneel alongside Bobby.

"Stop," Cass interrupted, his voice cutting through the heavy tension. "What's the point if you don't mean it? You fear me. Not love, not respect, just fear."

Sam sighed, shaking his head. "Cass..."

Cass looked at him. "Sam, you have nothing to say to me. You stabbed me in the back." His eyes scanned the rest of us with a mix of disappointment and frustration. "Get up." We exchanged uncertain glances, unsure what to do, but slowly stood back up.

"Cass, come on, this isn't you," Dean pleaded.

"The Castiel you knew is gone," Cass said.

"So, what, then? Kill us?" Dean's voice wavered with a mix of defiance and fear.

Cass shook his head, his eyes locking onto Dean's. "What a brave little ant you are. You know you're powerless. You wouldn't dare move against me again. That would be pointless. So, I have no need to kill you. Not now. Besides... once you were my favorite pets before you turned and bit me."

"Who are you?" Dean asked.

"I'm God. And if you stay in your place, you may live in my kingdom. If you rise up, I will strike you down." Cass turned to Sam, who was pale and unsteady. "Not doing so well, are you, Sam?"

"I'm fine..." Sam cleared his throat. "I'm... fine."

"You said you would fix him... you promised!" Dean shouted, frustration in his voice.

"If... you stood down, which you hardly did." Cass nodded. "Be thankful for my mercy. I could have Cast you back into the pit." He stared at Sam.

"Cass, come on, this is nuts," Dean pleaded. "You can turn this around, please!"

"I hope for your sake, this is the last you see me," Cass said, then vanished.

Sam grunted lightly, and his nose started to bleed.

"Sam, you okay?" Dean asked.

Sam's eyes rolled back, and he fell to the ground on his hands and knees, right into shards of glass on the floor. My heart pounded through my chest, and I began to hyperventilate, but I pushed my fear back. I immediately ran over to him.

"Sam?" I put my hand on his back and knelt next to him.

He rolled over to his side as Dean and the others rushed to us. His eyes looked distant, and blood continued to trickle from his nose. A large piece of glass was embedded in his palm, and he groaned as he started to convulse.

"Sammy!" Dean put his hand on his chest, trying to steady him by the broken glass.

I took my knife out, cut a slit into the bottom of my shirt, and ripped a strip out of it. I grabbed Sam's hand, pulled the glass out, and wrapped his hand with the fabric. He continued to convulse, and I felt myself drifting into a panic. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I shook it off as best as I could.

"Sam...?" I asked calmly. I shifted so my legs were around him, and his head rested in my lap to prevent him from hitting it on the floor. I stroked his hair, saying, "Sammy? Shh... You're gonna be alright." Tears streamed down my cheeks as I tried to calm him down. "Come back to us, okay?" Finally, Sam slowly started to settle down. He looked up at me for a moment and then closed his eyes. "Okay, let's get him out of here quickly." I grunted as I lifted his dead weight so he was sitting up.

Dean gave me an astonished look before swinging Sam's left arm over his shoulder. Bobby came over to his other side, and they hoisted him up. Then Dean, Bobby, and Nate carried him out of the building to the Impala.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next afternoon, I was just not feeling good. I was exhausted, my appetite was practically non-existent, and I couldn't shake the worry that my coping mechanism for anxiety was taking its toll.

Every time nightmares or random memories surfaced, I could feel the nerves building up, leading me to the bathroom, where I'd cut my hand and watch myself heal. The problem was it wasn't working as well as before. Now, it took about ten minutes for my skin to fully recover.

I was starting to worry that my desire to use my abilities was no longer solely about coping. I was afraid it was because I wanted more blood. So, I planned on cutting back and figuring out a healthier way to deal with everything because I really didn't want to start depending on anything to get through my anxiety.

I decided I would start with fresh air and sun. So, I found myself at a picnic table, chin resting on my arms as I watched Dean and Nate work on the Impala. Well, it was more Nate attempting to work on it and Dean taking over to "show him the ropes."

Nate sighed, looking at the Impala with a hand on his hip. "I think the best way to handle the roof—"

"I got that covered. I'm gonna climb in there and pop it out with my feet," Dean interrupted confidently.

Nate nodded, a touch disheartened. "Yeah, that's what I was gonna suggest."

Dean gave Nate a look, then nodded. "I'm already ahead of you. You can wipe the grease off the wrenches if you want."

Nate sighed, making his way to the tools, but then hesitated. "Look, man, all this stuff you've been 'teaching' me, I already know how to do. I mean, me and Bobby have been putting my car together for a while. Now, when we work on it, I work, and he sits and drinks beer. I know what I'm doing."

Dean gave Nate a look and then nodded. "I get it. It's just– It's Baby."

Nate nodded. "I know. All I'm saying is, I can be more helpful than standing around watching you work or holding a flashlight."

Dean chuckled. "Alright." He nodded. "Hop in there and pop the roof then." Dean patted Nate on the shoulder before strolling over to me.

Nate beamed with pride, hopping into the Impala.

"How you doin', kid?" Dean asked, taking a seat across from me.

I shrugged and sat up. "Just worried about Sam."

Dean nodded. "You sure that's all?"

"Yup," I lied.

"Really? 'Cause you got bags under your eyes that say otherwise," Dean said.

"Gee, thanks for pointing that out." I sighed, resting my chin on my arms again.

Dean placed his hand on my arm. "I just worry about you. Are you still having nightmares?"

"When I can actually sleep? Yeah," I admitted.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked.

I shook my head. " Not really."

Nate grunted from within the Impala. "Come on." He groaned again, pressing his feet against the roof as hard as he could. "Come on."

Bobby walked up. "So, you fixin' her or primal screamin'?"

Nate sighed, climbing out of the Impala, and Dean stood up, joining them. Bobby handed each of them a beer.

"Thanks. How's Sam?" Dean asked.

Bobby sighed, "He's still under. But alive."

"Yeah?" Dean asked. "What about God part Deux?"

"I got all kinds of feelers out, so far, diddly," Bobby said.

"And what exactly are you looking for?" Dean questioned.

Bobby nodded. "Exactly. What? Miracles, mass visions, trench coat on a tortilla? I don't know what I'm lookin' for."

Nate shrugged. "I'm sure he'll surface."

Bobby nodded. "So, say we do suss out where 'new and improved' flew off to..."

"Yeah?" Dean asked.

"The hell we plan to do about it?" Bobby asked.

Dean shook his head. "I don't know, Bobby. I got no more clue than you do."

"I don't even know what books to hit for this, Dean," Bobby admitted.

"Well, figure it out!" Dean shouted, surprising Bobby. Dean looked away and sighed. "I'm sorry." He shook his head. "This ain't in no book. If you stick your neck out, Cass steps on it. So, you know what I'm gonna do?"

"What?" Bobby asked.

"I'm gonna fix this car. Because that's what I can do. I can work on her 'til she's mint. And when Sam wakes up, no matter what shape he's in, we'll glue him back together, too. We owe him that," Dean declared as he picked up a mallet.

Bobby nodded. "I'm with you."

Dean climbed into the Impala and started pounding on the roof.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I opened my eyes to the same grim scene that had haunted me since escaping Crowley. Back in the chair, bracing for the inevitable replay of some horrible memory.

"What do you think will happen if I pour boiling hot water on your skin?" Kieran asked.

"Well, you've already burned me with an open flame and a hot poker," I said.

"Oh, true. So, this won't be that different then?" he asked, pouring scalding water from a kettle all over my chest.

I screamed in agony, looking down at myself. My skin was now bright red and bubbling.

"Oh, look at the bubbles." Kieran smiled happily, pinching my blistered skin and pulling, eliciting another scream. "It peels nicely."

"Maddi?" Nate's voice echoed through the room.

Kieran grinned at me. "Aw, looks like it's time to wake up. Don't keep me waiting too long." Then, he winked at me.

I immediately sat up, finding Nate sitting on the bed next to me. "You okay?" he asked, concern etched across his face.

I nodded. "Yeah. Can you stop asking me that?" I sat on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry. You were talking in your sleep. You... sounded scared," he explained.

I stood up. "Yeah, I was having a nightmare. Nothing new about that." Then, I walked through the doorway.

"Maddi, Maddi, wait," Nate said, grabbing my arm.

"What?" I asked, turning to face him.

"I'm not the enemy here. I just want to help you," he said.

"I don't want your help," I said, turning away and continuing down the hall.

Nate sighed. "Maddison..."

We walked into the kitchen and saw Sam and Dean talking. Relief flooded me at the sight of Sam standing on his own two feet. I wanted to talk to him so badly about what happened to me because he was the only one who could understand what I was going through. I just didn't know when to talk to him about it. I didn't want to add to everything he was dealing with.

"Sam!" I ran to him and embraced him.

"Hey." He chuckled, returning my hug.

I pulled away. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. My head hurts a little, but..." He shrugged. "Basically."

"Seriously?" Dean asked.

Sam shrugged. "Look, man, I'm as surprised as you are, but yeah, I swear."

"Good! No reason putting a gift horse under a microscope, right?" Dean smiled.

Sam nodded. "Yeah. So, what happened with Cass?"

"Why don't you come help me with the car? I'll fill you in," Dean suggested, grabbing a beer from the fridge.

Sam nodded. "Okay."

Dean turned, placing his hand on Nate's shoulder. "You wanna help?"

Nate smiled. "Sure."

Dean clicked his tongue. "Get going then."

As they exited through the back door, I walked to the fridge. "You want a drink or something?" I asked as I pulled a Sprite out, but Sam didn't answer. I turned to see him looking toward Bobby's study. "Sam? Everything okay?"

He turned toward me. "Uh, yeah." Walking up, he put his hand on my back. "Let's go."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *