"The Joker learned to have emotion through Harley." -Mark Hamill

I was in shock. Complete and utter shock as I walked up the steps of the familiar house. I had kicked off my shoes and the cement was sleek. I almost stopped to sit on the steps but pushed myself to go inside. 

Only when I heard the loud, giggling barks did I turn the handle and walk inside. The house was quiet except for the babies. . The babies.

I moved into the kitchen, quickening my pace. I saw the two large Hyena's on there chains as they tugged against the chains. They were bigger now and as soon as they saw me they were growling. I felt a squeeze at my heart. "Babies?"

I reached out my hand slightly only for Bud to snap at it. I could see the hunger in their eyes and it dawned on me that in the time I was gone, no one cared for my babies. Loved my babies. I tried to talk only to cut myself off at the sound of my strained voice. I shut my mouth and carefully walked the farthest way around them and to the fridge, placing my baseball bat on the island. 

I tugged open the freezer as they snarled and the giggles became louder. Crouching down I reached for a steak but dropped my hand, squeezing my eyes shut as tears fell. I pressed my head against the cold medal. "Shh."

Their barks became louder and I sniffled, pushing myself up and rubbing beneath my nose. I picked up the stake and turned to face them. They started pacing and jumping at the smell of their food. With a shaky sigh I took a step forward, earning a growl. "It's okay babies, it's okay."

I pressed myself against the island and readied myself to throw the stake. As I was about to I heard a loud bang from outside. Instantly I was alert, looking towards the doorway. Slowly my hand inched towards the empty wine bottle. I wrapped my hand around it and glared.

Suddenly, in the moment of eerie silence, I felt an immense pain in my leg. I screamed, dropping to the ground as Lou tugged me down, his jaw wrapped around my leg. I screamed, kicking at his head as he started to tug me towards himself and his brother.

I started to panic as hot tears prickled down my cheeks. Lou had his teeth clamped down hard and all I knew was that I didn't want him to be hurt. I never wanted to hurt them.

With a swift jerk and a yell of pain I launched my hand forward, smashing the bottle down on his head. I gasped as his canines released me and I rolled on my side. Gasping for air when I felt the pain in my leg again, I cried out loud only to hear a yelp.

I jumped back as Bud launched himself into his brother, the chain ripping out of the wall. I quickly scooted back as he stumbled slightly from the weight. He stalked between his brother and me, facing Lou who got up shaking glass out of his hair. As soon as they launched for each other I ran for my bat and without a single thought, hit them both down.

I stopped at the sound of whimpers, dropping the bat and falling to the ground. Bud and Lou lay beside me, breathing shallowly. I gasped, slowly laying my body between them. I was riddled with guilt, the events fresh in mind as all three of us lay in pain. Pain from wounds we inflicted on one another.

"I'm sorry." I cried into my arm, finding it hard to breath. "I'm so sorry."

"You're hurt." 

I didn't open my eyes, knowing who was standing over me. Slowly I looked at her through my hair, staring as she stood above me. Wearing the white coat, the skirt and her hair in a ponytail as she had on a pair of glassed. I dropped my head down, growling. "Go away."

"Harley, you-" Doctor Quinzell started and I screamed into my arms. "Leave!"

It was silent but I knew she was still there. I whimpered. "Please. Please go away. Go away."

I laid, sniffling as she disappeared. I was left in silence I hadn't experienced in a while and I swallowed a lump in my throat. I didn't know how long I laid there but all I wanted was J to walk in. I wanted him to help me. I wanted him.

I flinched as something hot and wet slid across the bleeding holes in my leg. I tensed up but heard a whimper as the licking seemed to be tender and hesitant. I looked over my shoulder to see Lou, blood seeping through his fur. He had dragged himself to my leg and began licking my wound, my blood still on his teeth. I slowly pushed myself up, causing him to tense as I reached over and placed my hand over his fur. Piece by piece I cleaned out the glass and started to scratch his neck. He sniffed and kept licking my wound, fat tears falling from his eyes.

I heard another whimper and I didn't hesitate to reach over and take a hold of Bud. I tugged him beside me and he rested his head on my lap. I cuddled up against them, mumbling in there fur my apologies. Knowing that they'll never forget my actions, and them knowing I wouldn't forget theirs. You hurt the people you love, that's the sad truth in my life. I sniffled, a small smile playing on my lips. "Who are some good boys?"

Bud pushed himself up, falling against me and licking me cheek. I smiled at my babies as they kissed me over and over. "Are you the sweetest babies..."

~~~

"He loves her as much as he can. He loves her in his way." -Paul Dini

I stopped at the bedroom door, staring at it for a moment. I could hear no noise or movement from inside as the hallways of the house grew dark. Slowly and hesitantly I pushed it open, and with a loud creak it swung forward.

"Hello?" I whispered, limping inside. I felt nauseous as the pain killers slowly kicked in. Frosty had found me in the kitchen and was quick to get me to come over and stitch me up. He gave me the pain killers and gave Bud and Lou their food. Now, I was looking for Joker.

I had this feeling, a weird gut feeling. All I knew was that I felt I should find him. Even though he was mad, even though me might throw me around. I just had this feeling that I needed to find him.

I stared at the status of the bedroom. From the feminine clothing everywhere and the ruined walls. I picked up an article of clothing and stared at it, one of my shirts. He had taken all my clothing and ripped them up or just threw them. The walls, they where covered with words. From his famous "HA" to the small yet rigid writing of my name. One wall was newly painted white, the painting supplies still laid out from probably earlier today.

I walked further inside and while biting the inside of my cheek, fell back on the bed, looking at every word. They were hateful, contradicting, loving. Weird. All different. Like they were written by different people. It took me a moment, a single moment to realize what had happened. Joker had an episode.

I pushed myself up from the bed and left the room, wincing at the feeling of my leg. But I quickened my pace, bumping into a clown who was walking towards the bedroom with a new bucket of paint. I gasped as I almost fell down the steps and had to catch myself. I looked everywhere I could think of. Searching.

Bud and Lou giggled, wanting to follow me as I hurried back and forth between the opening of the kitchen. I finally stopped, watching as Bimbo was sat on top of the island. Watching my babies who would only growl at him when they had to walk near him. I frowned. "Bimbo?"

He jumped, startled. He looked over his shoulder at me and I crossed my arms and cleared my throat. "Do yuh know where J is?"

He looked at me, jumping in the moment. He ran a hand through his hair and looked side to side. "I- I don't know."

I frowned, glancing between his shaking hands and the fact he avoided eye contact. I growled and stomped inside. The babies started to giggle madly and I grabbed a hold of Bimbo's collar. I growled. "Where's . mister . J?"

Bimbo in response, maybe out of awkward fear, started laughing. I let go of him, pressing my eyebrows together. I tapped his head. "Hey. . Bimby, where you at?"

He sniffled and I gave him a defensive look, crossing my arms. "This ain't funny."

"S-sorry." Bimbo sniffled and I rolled my eyes. I silently looked around me as he composed himself, raising a hand and pointing left. "I think I saw him go down the hall."

"Okay?" I said, almost asked out of conscious thought. Why was he so scared to tell me in the first place? I slowly left the kitchen, eyeing him. As I walked out I felt myself bump into someone. I jumped and faced the person. It was another clown, with curly colorful hair and a painted red smile. I put a finger to the side of my head and circled it, mouthing the word crazy.

The clown left and I looked in the direction Bimbo pointed. It took me a moment to notice the opening by the stair. With a sigh I composed myself and walked in.

I was hesitant as I walked down and into the hall. And immediately I knew how you could tell he'd gone down here. Articles of his clothing was left in the middle of the hall, wet from the rain. I picked at my black dress that clung to my skin and walked down the hall. 

I picked up his shirt and held it to my chest as I figured out my way. Doors were on either sides and paintings were hung. The faces on some were ripped out and one I stopped to look at. You could see three people in the painting and one figure was a woman, wearing a purple dress but her face was ripped off. You could see the ends of brown curls over her chest. To the right looked like a man in a tailored suit, also, head burned off. Then there was a boy, his face wasn't burnt off like the other two. He had brown hair and an 'X' was drown over each eye in red, along with a line forming a smile over the child's lips. He wore a suit as well and I couldn't help but wonder who it was. But I pushed myself to turn and walk away.

I noticed small tables, and after a moment, noticed the glint of hidden knives under them. All pictures were facing down, not allowing anyone to see who was in them. You could see the smashed glass from the pictures and more.

I didn't stop at the doors waiting on either side of me. I didn't stop at the ones that seemed so lavish. I stopped at the one with a door that had red lines over it. Red lipstick.

Out of instinct I reached for the door, but stopped myself. In the corner of my eyes I saw one last little table with a lamp. With a picture sat on the table top. My hand dropped and I moved closer.

I felt my stomach caving in, the squeeze at my chest as I picked up the picture carefully. I felt as I couldn't breath for a moment, like a coiled rope was suffocating me, squeezing around my neck. I had to bite the inside of my cheek.

The picture was the only picture with a face on it. It was a girl. She didn't smile a toothy grin but she had the slightest smirk. One that said she knew something, that reminded me of my own. She had on a pair of black rimmed glasses and most of her hair was pulled back in a low ponytail that went over her shoulder. On the same side was the loose hair left over, pulled from the ponytail. Her eyes shown blue in the picture and she stood in an office and the only wrong doing to the photo was that someone was cut out. The only thing remaining of the other person being the dash of color from her hand ontop of the desk. The woman that was actually shown, held her hands together and wore a doctors coat. She had on a blue blouse and a pencil skirt, the picture ended just beneath her hips. On her jacket, was an ID card, that was unreadable to anyone looking at the picture. But I knew what it read. It read STAFF, Doctor Amberly Quinzell, Psychiatric Resident. 

I closed my eyes and left my hands move to set it down. They took that photo at the end of my first day, the woman was Mrs Allison. I had lost it one day, no idea where it had gone. I never remembered to take it out of my pocket, so it was always there. But after . . after that day I had walked in on Joker fighting the guards. I had run in to stop him and we both had ended up on the floor, him passing out. I had thought maybe he had taken it, but thought it was silly because of the circumstances.

A small smile played on my lips, he had kept that photo. This entire time he had it. It was the only photo with a face in it. He didn't burn my face out or draw over it. It was me and I could see the me now in it, I wasn't hiding. I wasn't scared in that picture. I was happy with the successful day. I sighed and looked to my right. Staring at the marked door before I stepped away from the round oak table.

I hesitated at the handle and dropped the jacket. Closing my eyes I composed myself before opening it. I stepped in, mumbling Joker's name. But I halted to a stop. The room looked nice, carpeted with a white piano by a window. At the door was wood and a small drop to the pale carpet. In the middle of the room was a circle of objects. Most of all knives and ipads and phones. It created this large circle that included bullets and clothing. And in the middle of it all was Joker, his back to me as he now wore a suit. Black pants, vest, and a white dress shirt. The shirts had wet stains from his damp skin, causing it to stick and show the tattoos that laid beneath the fabric.

"For keep sake." Joker's voice echoed as I stared at the back of his head. The water droplets falling from his emerald hair. I bit my lip as he slowly spun around, arms opens. "People I've killed, sometimes I like to bring little. . . trinkets."

"Serial killers do that." I observed and he chuckled deeply to himself. "Do you know how many people I've killed?"

"Too much to fit on one paper." I answer and he laughed, throwing his head back. He snickered to himself and it felt dark. I spoke. "Not that it matters."

"Doesn't matter? It's what make me, me Harley. I'm a sociopath, do you want to know why I have so many knives?" He asked and I bit my lip, tilting my head. "Is it your favorite?"

"Bingo!" He giggled, holding up a hand. I tilted my head. "Why?"

"Oh, it's all the little emotions." He stated and pulled a switchblade from his back pants pocket. Like one would with a wallet. He looked at it fondly before he looked up at me. He grinned before he busted out laughing, I started to laugh in return as he moved towards me. Finding myself relaxing as he got so close he was at arms reach. But my relaxation withered away when the blade flipped out, his grin on display. 

My smile dropped slightly as I realized what had just happened. He was putting me in false security, playing with a mouse. I moved back as he moved closer, until my back hit the wall. He took in a deep breath of air before he moved his hand up to my hair and tangled his fingers through it. He tugged causing me to fall into his chest and he held the blade against my skin. "You see, I like to see the little emotions as the life leave's their eyes. See who they truly are."

"Are you tempted?" I whispered, as the blade played against my neck. I stared at it in awe until he pulled at my hair again, placing me against the wall. I jumped and stared at him with wide eyes as he mumbled. "No, no, no..."

"You see Amberly." He said, while looking me in the eyes. "You're my favorite toy."

I bit my lip, as I couldn't contain the creeping smile itching at the corner of my lips. He slid the blade down my neck, across my cleavage, all as he spoke. Everything he had said earlier today withered from my thoughts, like they might have been long forgotten by himself. "Crazy, lethal. ."

His hand fell from my hair, sliding across my cheek and over my mouth. I smiled against the hand the cupped my mouth, the tattoo of a large smile mimicking mine over his own. He grinned. "Demented."

As his hand moved I found my smile widening, I couldn't contain it as he continued. "Sexy. . Seductive. ."

He wrapped his large hand around my neck and squeezed. He started to laugh, mumbling the word pretty over and over. I whispered. "Please."

He chuckled and shoved me back against the wall again. I gasped, wrapping my small hands around his wrists as my head hit the wall. He then brought the knife back into view and he danced it over my skin. He slacked his jaw, almost squealing as he started to chuckle with a smile. "I'm the Joker, Amber."

He removed his hands, opening his arms on either side of him. "Prince Clown of Gotham."

He ran his hand across my neck and to my cheek before threading it through my hair. He gripped it and slacked his jaw. "I play with the toys, they don't play with me."

"You're the king of Gotham J." I whispered, not daring to close my eyes. I tried to show my emotions as his eyes flickered over my now swollen lips. I licked them as he leaned in. "And you're the queen. . . Harley Quinn."

I moaned as he finally kissed me. We both sucked in deep breaths of air, relishing it as if we were addicts taking there first puff of smoke in over a month. I slid my hands up his arms and around his neck, pulling him closer. The kiss slowly heated up only for him to pull away, ducking his head and growling. I watched in shock as he walked away.

"J?" I gasped as he grabbed his gloves from the piano. He tugged them on, shaking out his hands before he ended up resting his head down on the piano. He growled, mumbling words that I couldn't comprehend.

He started angry, then laughing, and then a whimper. I stared in shock before I slowly moved towards him. Hearing his mumbles. "Pretty, pretty, pretty."

Slowly, I moved back to the door and opened it. Stepping out I grabbed an old wooden chair and dragged it into the room. He hit his fist against the piano and I jumped. "J?"

"Shut up!" He snapped and I jumped back slightly. I hesitated for a moment before walking over to him. I placed a hand on his shoulder. "Joker?"

He turned around to face me, a look of fury as he gripped his hands like cuffs over my upper arm. I jumped as he started pushing me back. Complete and utter anger towards me. "J!"

He pushed me back, causing me to fall to the ground. The knives poked at me and I watched as he reached for the chair. His hands wrapped around the wood and I jumped up. "Joker!"

He froze, hesitating as his bicep tensed then un-tensed. He growled and numbly fell into the seat. I watched in complete shock as he dropped his head in his hand and what sounded like a cry passed his lips. I rushed forward and took a hold of his shoulders, I tugged and he wrapped his arms around me. I slowly wrapped my arms around him, cradling his face. I bit my lip, knowing he had just had an episode. And I had a feeling they've been getting bad.

"I love you." I whispered, looking down at him. I'll always love him. No matter how toxic it was. I love him, and only him.

"Everyone see's the Joker laugh. Only Harley has ever seen him cry." -Arleen Sorkin