NOTE: I have written the entire chapter but it is quite long so I've split it into two parts. Part two will be published later today. It is really important that you read the interactive part at the end of part two and answer the questions please.  Comment here so I know you've read this note please!

WARNING: UPSETTING CONTENT.
Graphic content, emotional scenes, panic attacks, trauma.

- - - 

A tall pole overlooked a grassy meadow.
It wasn't particularly spacious, but there was enough room to hold a few small houses.
Burn marks tarnished the bottom of the pole, and small chunks of wood had been taken out of it.
Dilapidated houses were all that remained. Gut-wrenching screams brought the scene to life.
People ran frantically.
Bodies collided and bones crushed under the weight of each other. 

A brunette woman, around twenty five years of age, hid amongst the rubble of her former home.
She looked down at the hand she was clutching.
Still warm—just about.
But there was no hope.
They had died mere minutes ago.
The sound of bullets flying and swords slicing into flesh made the woman's body tense up.  
A pair of ice-cold hands pressed into her shoulders, and she let out a panicked scream. 

"Woah, wait, it's me!", called out a man. 

His hands were covered in blood, but the way the woman's face softened when she saw him showed that he was no threat.
She reached out and gently cupped his face, careful not to touch the gash on his face. 

"Rydian!
Thank the heavens you're alive."

"Just about.
A group of us were attacked on our way to the wells.
I can't find Eubha anywhere."

Rydian's eyes landed on the hand that the women was holding.
He looked back at the woman, his eyes widening. 

"Is that... your mother?"

The woman just nodded. 

"I'm so sorry.
Come with me.
We can find a safe–"

A grey creature floated towards them.
It was made of smoke, but the smoke soon shifted to resemble a far creepier creature. It had the head of a crow and the body of one too, although it was the size of a lion.
It had razor sharp claws on its feet and hands.
It may have been made of smoke, but it looked like it could do real damage. 

Before Rydian or the woman could move, the creature opened its mouth, revealing a beetroot purple tongue.
It stretched out, and was narrow towards the tip.
The tongue slapped against Rydian's neck, before wrapping itself around it.
Rydian struggled against its grip, and he gasped for air. 

Consumed by fear, the woman fought her way out of the rubble and ran as fast as she could, leaving Rydian behind. 

"N-No, Eila... help!"

Eila woke up with a fright.
Sweat droplets covered her body, and her body went rigid.
Her breathing quickened, and she felt her own throat close up. 

"Eila?
Eila!", called out Caia, who was beside her in the bed. 

Caia took her wife's hands in hers, and started to guide her as she breathed. 

"It's ok... it was just a nightmare.
You're safe.
I'm here", she said.
"Just follow my breathing, ok?"

Caia inhaled for four seconds, before holding it for four more, then exhaling for four seconds as well.
Eila's eyes were still darting from side to side, unable to focus on Caia.
Caia reached out and carefully held Eila's face.
She gently rubbed her thumbs against Eila's temples, which soothed her. 

"Come on, breathe for me.
Breathe for me, baby", she
whispered,
the desperation bleeding into her voice.

After what felt like forever, Eila slowly started to copy Caia, and her breathing gradually returned to normal. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry", whispered Caia, before pulling Eila into her arms.
"I shouldn't have said yes to you going to Agoraville."

★★★

Oren was leading the fitness session today, and he had the group do a fifty minute run with only two five minute breaks throughout.
Whilst Makoto and Rhiannon could just about manage walking back by using each other as supports, Raphael could barely stand up, and had resorted to simply crawling once his legs had buckled under the strain.
Ashryn was fine with the walking, but did mutter insults more often than usual, and her back was drenched in sweat. 

"Thank the heavens that's over", gasped Raphael.

Raphael reached for his water bottle, but Astra seized it before he could touch it. 

"Why'd you do that?
I'm dying over here."

"We're moving on to the next activity", said Oren.
"Everyone drop to the floor and start doing push ups."

Raphael's eyes widened.
"Push ups?"

"You heard the man, now drop!", shouted Astra. 

With heavy sighs and groans, the trainees dropped to the ground and started doing push ups.
Ashryn's form was perfect, despite being tired and still distracted with her personal struggles.
Rhiannon's form was perfect too, but unlike Ashryn, she didn't pace herself, and ended up going too quickly, causing her to tire herself out faster.
Makoto's form was good, and they paced themselves well, but breath control was an issue.
Raphael's form was by far the poorest, and he needed to take breaks in between every single push up, but he didn't give up.
Day one Raphael would've crumbled immediately and then just given up. 

"Raphael, your form is poor", said Astra.

Ashryn chuckled.
"That's your first experience of being poor, ain't it Robo Boy?"

Before Raphael could respond, Astra and Oren threw thick coats on them.
The sheer force was enough to knock Raphael down. 

"Put these coats on, then these boots.
Then carry on with the push ups", said Astra.

Makoto put one arm in, and they already felt heavily weighed down.
They groaned as they slipped their arm into the other sleeve.
Raphael sat down to put his on, which proved to be a mistake because he struggled to get back into position.
Rhiannon cursed under her breath as she put her jacket and boots on.
Ashryn showed no signs of struggle, something Astra made a note of. 

"Sorry, is there a point to the jackets?", asked Rhiannon. 

"There's a point to everything we do, Hendrix", snapped Astra. 

Rhiannon was taken aback by Astra's tone. She thought Astra's strict days were behind her.
Granted, she was tough as old boots when she wanted to be, but she had shown her gentle side much more since the group confronted her.
Now it just felt like day one all over again.

The trainees resumed their push ups, with all of them struggling, albeit to various degrees.
Ashryn's form was still perfect, and she showed no signs of slowing down, but her face was bright red.
Rhiannon's form weakened significantly, and she was forced to slow down, but the determination on her face only grew. Makoto's form weakened too, and they started huffing and puffing.
Raphael's form was non-existent, and after about five push ups, they crumbled, their body sprawled out in a starfish position. 

"Did I say stop?", questioned Astra.

She knelt down beside him and leaned closer to his ear. 

"Get up and carry on!", she screamed. 

Raphael wanted to cry then and there.
He had been trying so hard in fitness class, and although he acted like he didn't care, Astra's harsh nature hurt him.
He preferred Oren's gentle words of encouragement, and he actually believed that Oren played a big part in his improvement.

Astra waited until Raphael had started again, before placing her right foot on his back. 

"Now, you're probably all wondering what the point of this is", called out Oren.
"Is this just some kind of torture technique?"

"Feels like it!", exclaimed Rhiannon. 

"This mission... it'll push you to your limits. And unlike these sessions, you can't just get up and walk out.
You're going to have everything thrown at you, and you won't be able to run", said Oren.

"Picture this—you see a creature out there and it knocks you down.
Do you think it's gonna wait for you to get back up, take a breather, get mentally prepared, and then attack you?", questioned Astra.
"Héll no."

Oren nodded.

"You have to train your mind to be prepared at all times.

I can teach you all the meditation and de-stressing techniques in the world, but none of that will matter when you're staring evil in the face, and won't be able to leave."

Astra took her foot off Raphael's back, and made her way towards Oren.

Oren looked at the trainees, all of them exhausted, but still hanging on.

"The best lesson I could teach you?", he started.
"Is that sometimes the only way out is through."

★★★

After the physically and emotionally draining fitness session, the group headed out of the room.
Astra kept her composure, until Rhiannon, who was the last trainee, turned her back and left.
Astra's face softened and she threw her head back, letting out a long sigh.

"Oh Oren, that was the worst thing ever!", she groaned.
"I hated seeing their broken faces."

"Me too", he frowned.

Astra slumped against the wall, groaning as she slid down it and landed on the floor.
She buried her face in her hands.
Oren walked towards her, a concerned look in his eyes.
He sat down beside her, leaving only about an inch of space between them.

"Astra... what's going on with you?"

Astra shrugged, before lifting her head up and exhaling sharply.
She threw her arms up in frustration. 

"I don't know!
Would it even help if I did?
I'm just so tired of everything.
I don't even know where to start."

"Start wherever.
It doesn't matter.
Just start.
I've got all the time in the world for you."

Astra looked up at Oren's face.
She gave him a small smile.

"I'll be fine.
Aren't you supposed to be meeting Alessa right now?"

"That can wait."

"No, look, if we're going to get our Alessa back, we need to act now.
She's more important right now."

"Astra..."

"I'm a big girl.
I can sort out my own problems."

"That doesn't mean you should do it alone."

"Oren just go!", she snapped. 

Astra felt a pang of guilt when she saw Oren's reassuring smile falter.
He just nodded, and turned away.
Before Oren could get up, Astra reached out and placed a hand on his.

"I...I'm fine, Oren.
I promise."

- - - - -

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