WARNING:
EMOTIONAL CONTENT.
Includes very graphic death scenes, bereavement/grief, emotional distress.

NOTE 1: There isn't much dialogue at the start of this chapter, but a lot is told through the narration, so please read it all!

NOTE 2: This is quite a long chapter! I would've split it in two but I think it is better as a whole chapter. This one is quite emotional. Please, please read and do the interactive parts at the end—especially the bigger bit at the end.

Alessa was never the tidiest person.
She didn't leave her room looking like a bómb site, but things weren't in their conventional places either.
She always knew where her things were though.
Her mother was different.
Her room looked like a hurricane had attacked it all day every day.
But you never would've guessed it after seeing her work.
She was driven and dedicated.
She always focused on one problem at a time, and was a very quick but methodical thinker.

Alessa reached right at the back of her cupboard, trying to grab her blue towel.
She pulled at it, knowing that she wouldn't be able to get her hand any closer to it.
The towel fell out, but with it, came a small picture.
It wasn't in a frame, and the edges were frayed by time.

As soon as she laid eyes on the photo, her heart sank.
It was like feeling you get when you're at the very top of a rolled coaster, right before the plunge.
Or, to put it in terms these agents would understand—the first time the enemy pulls a weapon on you.

There were three people in the photo.
Well, two and a hand.
A woman had her arms around a younger Alessa.
Her jet black hair was curly, with some curls bouncing in the air, seemingly having a mind of their own.
Her eyes were dark brown, almost black, but they had a natural warmth to them that was captured even in a quick photo.
Her smile was bright, each tooth pearly white.
Her canines were slightly pointed, reminiscent of vampire teeth, but less defined.

Next to her, a young Alessa was resting her head against the woman's chest.
In its natural state, Alessa's hair was wavy, pairing well with her liveliness and bubbly attitude.
Now, Alessa's hair was always straightened, as if she was trying to burn away any reminder of who she once was.
The young Alessa's eyes were closed, and a goofy grin was spread across her face.

The hand that was in the photo had a small cupcake in it.
The second she saw the photo, the memory came rushing back.
That was Calihan's hand.
He was handing her a cupcake, and they were at a party.
The agency were celebrating finally solving a particularly tricky case, thanks to Alessa's mother Violet, and her spy partner Rowdy.

Scrutinising the picture further, Alessa could actually see Rowdy in the background.
He was pulling a silly face, and although he was looking at the camera, his body was facing Violet.
That's how it always was.
Rowdy was a lively man—hence his nickname, but he never enjoyed himself more than when he was in Violet's company. He absolutely adored Alessa too.

Alessa's father was another agent.
Her mother only shared one brief moment of passion with him, and he left on a mission shortly after.
When her mother found out she was pregnant, she wrote to him, but he was getting ready to undertake an undercover mission.
The pair decided it would be better for Violet to raise Alessa on her own, at the agency.
They were still on really good terms, and although no one had heard from him since, he did send a letter on Alessa's first birthday, for her to read when she was older.

Alessa never really yearned for her birth father.
She had Rowdy.
And Calihan.
And, well, everyone at the agency.
She was never short of family there.

After her mother's passing, Rowdy disappeared.
No note.
No message of any kind.
Alessa really needed him.
But he left her all alone.
If it wasn't for Calihan, Alessa wasn't sure how she would've coped.
Calihan had always been a father figure to the agents, but he really stepped up for Alessa when her mother passed.

Tears trickled down onto the photo, making Alessa quickly wipe them away, to avoid ruining the picture.

★★★

Calihan's office was larger than Aoife's, but not by a lot.
The lights were dim, and a large jug of green tea was on his desk, next to a pile of papers.
He quickly shoved a thick file into his safe, which was underneath his desk.
A small slip of paper fell to the floor, making Calihan rush to pick it up.
The message was scrawled in quite possibly the most ineligible handwriting to ever exist, but Calihan seemed to understand it. 

ANOTHER ATTACK COMING.
MORE BODIES NEEDED FOR FEEDING.

Clumsy footsteps outside caught Calihan's attention.
He wasn't expecting anyone.
Hastily, he stuffed the note into his pocket.
A series of knocks on the door, followed by sniffling worried Calihan.
After instructing them to come in, Calihan watched as Alessa opened the door.
His eyes grew wide when he saw her puffy eyes and tear-streaked face.
Her lips were shaped into a pout, as if that would help contain her emotions.

"Alessa, what's wrong?", he asked, standing up from his chair.

Alessa threw her arms in the pair.
"I don't know.
I-I just started cleaning m-my room and I found this picture of..."

As Alessa's words trailed off, Calihan's face softened.
He knew exactly what she meant.
He walked over to her, his arms outstretched.
After only a brief moment of hesitation, Alessa nodded, letting Calihan hug her.
Her clasped hands were still pressed against her chest, but she let herself rest her head against his shoulder.

"Alessa, it's ok to be sad.
You lost the most important person to you. That would break even the strongest of people", he said.

"I can't break, Sir.
There's too much at stake."

Calihan's expression hardened a little, and his body went tense.
The smallest frown appeared on his face. When Alessa pulled away from the hug, Calihan quickly plastered on a small sympathetic smile.

Alessa wiped away her tears.

"I'm, uh, I'm sorry about that, Head Guard Calihan."

"It's ok.
Perhaps we should think about removing you from this mission?"

Alessa's eyes widened.
"No!
You can't!", she exclaimed.
"Please", she added, her voice a whisper.

"Alessa, this is clearly hurting you.
I don't want you to be in anymore pain than you already are."

"I'll be fine", she assured.
"I promise."

Calihan knew Alessa wasn't going to give up. But, for reasons he wasn't able to articulate, he needed her to.
He needed to break her.

"Ok then.
Take me through the day your mother passed."

Alessa froze, chills running along her body. When Calihan's expression didn't change, she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"Wh-what?"

"Tell me what happened the day your mother passed", he repeated.
"I don't want you to have to relive it, but this might be the only way to prove that you've processed it properly.
It's the only way to ensure you won't be a danger to yourself and others when things get intense."

★★★

ASHRYN'S P.O.V

I'll admit it—Raphael is useful.

I tried for the last ten minutes to hack into Aoife's computer, but I couldn't.
I wouldn't want to take him away from his precious new buddies though.

Ok, I get Rhiannon and Makoto being best buds, but Raphael as well?
I thought he was like me.
A lone wolf.
But I guess I was wrong.

Whatever.
I don't care.

I don't need him.
I don't need anyone.
Never have, never will.

This place might rely on technology but I sure as hèll don't.
Yeah, Raphael might have his fancy gadgets and hacking skills, but they're not a patch on my skills.

Ok.

Game plan.

Find a way to break into Faizah's room, look for evidence of her involvement in my family's death, then make this whole agency pay.

And they'll never see me coming.

Except for the last part, of course.
I want them to stare right at my face as their precious little home burns to the ground.

★★★

3 YEARS AGO.

Aoife walked into Calihan's office.
Smudged mud was smeared along one side of her face.
Calihan was sat at his desk, typing away. 

"Wow, are we just barging into offices now?", questioned Calihan, a smile appearing on his face when Aoife playfully rolled her eyes. "What happened to your face?"

"The Ouron flowers have shed another layer again, and you know what that means", she replied. 

Calihan nodded.
"Ah, yes.
A bunch of agents dancing around in the petals and throwing them at each other–", he started, his eyes widening when he finally connected the dots.
"Don't tell me you got caught in the fray."

Aoife nodded.
"Agent Rivera has a terrible aim."

"Terrible, or perfect?", questioned Calihan. 

Aoife rolled her eyes.
"Well, it's nice to see Agent Arden having fun with her friends.
Poor girl's been through a lot."

Calihan's smile fell, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. 

"I must say, they're a very loyal group.
Agent Alami, Shirvani, Jones, Rivera and Williams all protected Agent Arden, and each other, from the flying petals."

"Petals aren't much of a threat, but the fact that they work so well together is really good for us.
They'll be unstoppable agents", said Calihan.

Aoife looked at her watch, her eyebrows furrowing.
Calihan noticed this, and looked at his own watch.

"Something keeping you?", he asked.

Aoife shook her head.
"No, I... Rowdy and Violet should be back by now.
Their mission wasn't a long one."

"They're probably taking the scenic route back", said Calihan.
"You know Rowdy's always trying to impress Violet with new views."

Agents Matherson and Arden were there respective names, but the Head Guards often called the older agents by their first names.
In Aoife and Calihan's case, they had grown particularly close to the pair.

Before Aoife could open her mouth, the door to Calihan's office flew open, slamming against the wall, its hinges snapping off. Rowdy stumbled into the room, falling to the floor.
He had pulled Violet close to his body, and she was clinging to him as tight as she could.
A gaping wound on her head startled the Head Guards.
The blood from her wound made her curly black hair stick to her temple.

Rowdy looked up, a panicked look in his eyes. They softened, into a more pleading expression.

"Please, help her."

With no time to get her to the Clinic, Calihan instructs Rowdy to carry Violet to the main hall, whilst he called for one of the medics to come to them instead.
Aoife took her blazer off and scrunched it into a ball, before putting it underneath Violet's head.

Violet pressed her lips together to control her pain.
Rowdy clasped his hands around hers, practically laying beside her.

"It's ok, come on Vee, we know you're a badáss.
You don't have to hide your pain now."

"What happened to her?", asked Aoife.

"We were ambushed", answered Rowdy, his eyes going dark as he looked up at the Head Guards.
"The Nightshade."

"They've... got... n-new leader", gasped Violet.
"R-Red hair... ruthless."

A sharp pain stabbed at Violet's leg, causing her eyes to widen in pain and shock.
Her clenched jaw opened as she let out a guttural scream.

The adults frantically scanned her body, unsure of what was happening.
Rowdy quickly sat up.

"What?
What is it?
Vee, what's happening?"

She slapped a hand against her leg.
Rowdy sat up, and reached for her leg.
After Violet gestured for him to rip the trouser leg off, he nodded and obeyed.
The adults gasped at the sight.

A long scar ran along her leg, from a severe injury she sustained during an Agoraville missions years prior.
The stitching had been pulled apart, but instead of red blood, a yellowish-green liquid oozed out.
As more of it pooled out, it turned into sludge.

"Where is that dámn medic?", asked Aoife.

Violet held an arm out to Aoife, who quickly knelt down and grabbed it.

"Aoife... I-I think th-this is it", she whispered.

Aoife shook her head.
"Nonsense.
We're going to get you help.
You're going to get better.
Then, we're going to go after the b*stards that did this to you."

Violet shook her head.
"Y-You c-can't.
They're... t-too strong."

"Save your energy, Violet", said Calihan.

Violet shook her head.
"P-Please... I need to say this.
B-Being here, s-saving lives?
They've been best years I've my life."

Calihan's face softened, and a warm smile appeared on his face.
He knelt down beside her, placing a hand on her arm.

"T-Tell Alessa... I l-love her s-so much."

Rowdy shook his head.
"You can tell her yourself."

Violet looked at Rowdy, as if she was seeing him there for the first time.
She took in his expression.
He was trying so hard to hide his emotions, but Violet could see just how terrified he was. She coughed, small green and yellow droplets spraying out.
She wiped at her mouth, a soft smile appearing on her face.

"R-Rowdy... I w-wouldn't have wanted to do this with anyone else."

Rowdy's face softened.
"Same here."

"Promise... promise me you'll look after Alessa."

"Violet, no, you're going to do that–"

Violet shook her head.
"I'm... I'm not m-making it out of this, Rowdy. We all know it."

"No, Violet, you can't think like that", said Calihan.
"Just keep fighting.
For Alessa."

Calihan's words seemed to touch Violet.
Her bottom lip trembled, and her eyes started to brim with tears.

She didn't want to leave Alessa.

She didn't want to stop fighting.

"Please, please don't say that", she sobbed.
"I don't want to stop."

Aoife quickly wiped the tears from her face.

"No, of course you don't.
And you won't.
No matter what happens, we will fight for Alessa.
Always.
I promise", said Aoife.

Violet's body relaxed just a little, and she closed her eyes, a grateful smile on her face.

"Thank you, Aoife."

"Can we all stop talking like she's going to die?", asked Rowdy.
"The medic will be here soon, and Violet will be fine."

Violet held her hand out, gently cupping one side of Rowdy's face with it.
Despite trying to remain stoic, he leaned into Violet's touch, closing his eyes for a brief moment.

"I know you can do it.
I know you don't think you're good enough, but you'll be the best guardian to Alessa.
I'm asking you to look after her... because I believe in you.
I know you'll love and protect her with everything you've got."

"Violet..."

"Promise me.
Promise me you'll look after her.
Please."

Rowdy didn't want her to think like that.
He needed her to believe she'd be ok.
He needed to believe she'd be ok.
But looking at her face, and the way she was pleading so desperately... he just wanted to take her pain away.

"I promise."

Meanwhile, at the Flower Garden, the agents were still playing with the flower petals. Astra and Imelda grabbed a handful of them, before sitting down and laying them out on the ground.
They started to spell out
'ASTRA + IMELDA ARE THE BEST'.
Finian hurried over to them, his own handful of petals falling as he did so.
He started placing down his petals. 

"Oi!
Hands off, Finian", said Imelda. 

"Hey, maybe I wanna be the best too?", he revealed. 

Imelda playfully rolled her eyes.
"Oh come on, let's be realistic."

Without missing a beat, Finian scooped up a handful of flowers and threw them at Imelda. The surprised girl dodged just in time. The petals slapped against Astra's face, with one falling into her mouth.
The petal was bitter, with a distinct garlic aftertaste.
Her nose began to sting a little. 

"Oh-ho, so the petal fight earlier wasn't enough for you, Finian?
Right, game on then", remarked Astra. 

As the trio started to throw petals at each other again, Alessa and Faizah were examining the leaves of the Ouron plant.
When Oren noticed the pair staring so intently at the plant, his curiosity was piqued. He walked over to them, his brows furrowed. Alessa's face lit up when she saw Oren approaching. 

"Hey!", she beamed. 

"Hi.
What are you two doing?", he asked. 

"Examining the Ouran plant", replied Faizah. "It usually starts growing new petals weeks after it sheds its old ones, but these petals are already started to grow again and it's only been a few hours.
It's fascinating..."

Oren smiled warmly at Faizah.
He considered them good friends, but he was still surprised at how much he learned about her as the days went on.
She finally looked up from the plant, giving Oren a bright smile.
Oren felt a tingling sensation across his skin, with a similar feeling rising in his stomach. 

"Faizah wants to take the findings back to Omara, you know, because she's the main adult in charge of the Flower Garden", explained Alessa. 

"You totally should!
I didn't know you were into all the nature stuff aswell, Alessa", said Oren. 

"I'm not.
I mean, I love nature.
Looking at it, being around it—it's great.
I'm just not too focused on trying to understand it.
Not everything in life needs an explanation, right?", replied Alessa. 

"I love learning more about how the world works", said Faizah.
"But Alessa is definitely lucky with her way of thinking.
She'll probably never crave closure, because she'll just accept things as they are."

A medic running through the Training Grounds caught Alessa's eye.
She walked closer to them, trying her best to focus on what he was saying.
Calihan rushed out, waving his arms at the medic.
Faizah jogged towards Alessa, with Oren trailing behind. 

"What are you looking at?", asked Faizah. 

Alessa raised a finger to her lips.
She pointed towards the medic and Calihan. Faizah squinted her eyes and stuck out her bottom lip—something she often did to help her concentrate on something.
She carefully studied the movement of Calihan's lips.
Her eyes widened.
Calihan and the medic ran inside. 

"What is it?
Do you know what they said?", asked Alessa. 

The second she heard Alessa's voice, her face softened.
She turned towards her, a stunned expression returning on her face. 

"What's wrong?", asked Alessa. 

"Alessa, I'm so sorry..."

"What?
Why?
What did you hear?"

"Ok, um, it-it wasn't clear but I could make out a few words."

"What were they?", asked Alessa. 

"It's Violet... hurry, she's... she's dying."

Back in the building, Rowdy and Aoife let out sighs of relief when they saw Calihan and the medic coming towards them.
Rowdy gently squeezed Violet's hand, using the other to gently stroke her hair.
He barely applied any pressure at all, not wanting to risk hurting her.

"Look, hey, Vee, the medic's here!", he called out.

The medic knelt beside her, his eyes widening when he saw the extent of her injuries.
He examined her leg wound, a disapproving head shake worrying Aoife.
After quickly applying gloves, he picked up a piece of the solidified substance that oozed out of Violet's leg.

"What... what's the diagnosis, Doc?", asked a frail Violet.

The medic frowned.
"It looks like your previous injury, the one sustained in Agoraville, has worsened.
The symptoms you're exhibiting... they're usually the ones that occur after treatment has failed."

"What?
No, she's been getting treated for her injury regularly", said Rowdy.

"Yes, you've even been a part of the team that administer it", said Aoife.

The medic nodded.
"I know.
This is most bizzare."

"Could The Nightshade have done something to her?", questioned Calihan.

"It's possible", answered the medic.
"They certainly have the means of making this worse.
They're responsible for the original injury, right?
If anyone would know how to make it worse, it would be them."

"That's great, yeah, fantastic chat", replied a sarcastic Rowdy.
"But can someone tell me how we're suppose to HELP HER?"

The anger and desperation in his voice cut through the air, and the group fell silent. Aoife never would've tolerated being shouted at, but she was aware of how tense everyone was in this moment.
Hell, she wanted to shout!

Violet's eyes opened just a little, and she noticed the defeated expression on the medic's face.

"There's... there's no cure, is there?"

The medic frowned.
"No.
I'm so sorry."

Rowdy's whole body vibrated with anger.
He clenched his jaw, huffing loudly.
Violet placed her hands over her partner's clenched fists.
He snapped out of it, his anger melting away when he looked at Violet.

"It's ok, Rowdy.
I'm... I'm ok."

Rowdy shook his head.
"No, please, we can find another doctor.
Some other treatment–"

"It's not going to work."

"Vee, I can't lose you", he sobbed.

"Lose me?
Nothing can break up this duo.
Whatever happens next for you... I'll be there too."

Rowdy smiled softly.
Unable to find the words to express everything he wanted to say to her, he lifted her hands up to his face and gently planted a kiss on each.
Violet chuckled, before gently cupping his face with her hands.

"Mum!"

The group turned to see a shocked Alessa watching them.
Without hesitation, Calihan hurried over to her, blocking the view of her mother with his body.

"Alessa!
I'm so sorry, you can't be here–"

"What's happening to Mum?"

Alessa's whole body froze when she saw her mother.
Her stomach turned when she saw her mother's leg—split open.
Her mother coughed, a black liquid spraying out of her mouth, with some dripping down her chin.
She looked over at Alessa, and even though she was in immense pain, she gave her the warmest smile she could muster.
Shaking, she held her hand out to Alessa.

Alessa was too stunned.
Too frightened.
She wanted to go to her mother, but every part of her body was fighting against her.

Her mother just nodded, seemingly understanding why her daughter wouldn't come closer.

"Alessa, everything is going to be ok.
I promise.
I love you so much, baby."

Her last words left her mouth as a whisper, their impact still lingering in the air.
A squelching sound alerted the group to Violet's leg wound, which was opening further.
An avalanche of blackened blood poured out of her wound.
Violet choked violently, black liquid filling up in her mouth.
Then she went still.

Very still.

Aoife let out a startled gasp, quickly covering her mouth.
Calihan placed a hand on Aoife's arm, suddenly feeling queasy.
Rowdy held his breath as he looked at Violet's face, hoping that she'd breath again.
As the seconds passed, his hope dwindled.
He finally exhaled, his breathing shaky.
He leaned his head against her torso, sobbing loudly.

"Alessa!", called out Faizah and Oren.

Calihan surged forward, grabbing the two agents.

"No!
You mustn't look!
It's... it's not a pretty sight."

Faizah was resolute, her whole demeanour changing into one that exuded confidence and surety.

"I'm not leaving, Head Guard Calihan.
Alessa needs me."

With Calihan not doing anything to deter her, Faizah stepped to the side and headed towards Alessa.
Oren followed after her.
Faizah's eyes widened when she saw Violet.
A million thoughts rushed through her head. What happened here?

One thought overpowered all others.

How could she comfort Alessa?

So, she did the first thing she could think of. She ran towards her, stumbling when she went too fast.
Faizah wrapped her arms around Alessa. Alessa leaned into her touch, her clasped hands pulled close to her chest.
Oren gently hugged Alessa too, his hand gently caressing her arm.

"Do you remember what happened after?", asked Calihan.

Alessa opened her eyes, and she was back in Calihan's office.
She ought to have felt better, being pulled away from that painful memory.
But she didn't.
Because when she opened her eyes, the reality came back.

That was the last time she ever saw her mother.

"Alessa?"

As she looked up at Calihan, more and more feelings started to whirl round in her head. Calihan always had her back when Aoife was too harsh to her.
Even before all of this, he was always there for her.

Just like he was now.

"I know it must be so hard for you, but can you tell me what happened n–"

"Life was... still.
Well, for me anyway.
But... but I had Faizah.
And Oren.
They never left my side.
Imelda and Astra were ready to fight those girls that used to pick on me... but even they stopped and gave their condolences.
And Finian... he made me a special bench near my mother's grave so I had a place to rest when I didn't want to leave her."

It wasn't until she actually relived those moments, that she realises just how much her friends did for her.
They stood by her through it all.

Calihan smiled.
"You see?
They had your back because they love you dearly.
This mission doesn't just put the trainees at risk, it puts your friends at risk too."

"So what are you suggesting I do?
Just give up on it all?"

Calihan shook his head.
"No.
I'd never say that, but... you're too close to this.
Too impulsive.
What if, and I'm not saying this to hurt you, but what if we have a repeat of what happened with Faizah?"

Alessa frowned.
Everyone kept bringing the whole thing back to what happened to Faizah.
What Alessa caused.
But they were right.
One wrong move, one rash decision and she could cost everyone their lives before they even struck a blow on the creatures.

"It's your decision at the end of the day, but perhaps you should think about standing down from this mission."

_ _ _

Hi.

This is probably one of the most emotional chapters I've written for this book so far. Alessa, to me, is such a fascinating character to write. She really shows what trauma can do to a person. Having said that, her actions can't just be brushed under the carpet. She treats people badly, but when we compare this to the person she used to be, it further emphasising the impact trauma has on an individual.

The flashback also allows us to see more of the friendship between the trainers. Faizah and Oren, despite knowing that what they were going to see would not be a pretty sight, put their own feelings aside to be there for Alessa. Imelda and Astra were not sure if people would be nice to Alessa or not, but they were still there to defend her if she needed it. And Finian supported her in his own way too. It really drives home just how much Alessa has changed now.

Calihan is someone Alessa not only trusts, but really admires. Had it been Aoife who demanded that she stand down, Alessa wouldn't have given it a second thought, but because it's Calihan and she knows he's only ever had her best interests at heart, she listens.

Calihan seems to be hiding something though. He was supportive of the agents when they started this mission, but he seems to have done a U-turn when it comes to Alessa. And what was that note he dropped all about?

I thought it'd be nice if we talked about the flashback! About the bonds and relationships between the agents and Head Guards. A lot of the time, with these interactive parts, I feel like I'm kind of forcing you to think about things and that's not really allowing you to interpret things in your own way. I'm sorry about that. These interactive parts are mainly just because I want to know what you're all thinking. Funny comments are GREAT but I'd also really love to hear your thoughts on any theories, what you think happened to characters and their bonds before the trainees came in and stuff like that. Also, feel free to have discussions with each other in the comments too!

What are your thoughts on this chapter?

DoodleYeet

LeMystical-Puffle

ruesbennett

bardsarethebest