WARNING:
EMOTIONAL CONTENT.
Includes mentions of death, emotional distress and bullying.

___

With training sessions finished for the day, Ashryn decided to use the free time to find out more about what Faizah was hiding. 
Hacking Aoife's computer was a bust, and Ashryn wasn't sure if she could trust Raphael to help anymore.

Truthfully, the pair had drifted apart. Ashryn's focus was firmly on avenging her family, whilst Raphael was getting closer to the other trainees and trainers.
He was the one person Ashryn thought might actually understand her, but it appeared he had fallen into the agency's trap.

It didn't matter though.

She didn't need him.

She didn't need anyone.

"Hey, Faizah.
Ready to go to the Clinic?", asked Oren.

"I can walk to the Clinic on my own, Oren", said Faizah.

"I know, but I thought you could use some moral support", he replied.
"I know you're used to the appointments now, but I want you to know that I'm still here for you."

Faizah smiled softly.
"Aw, you're such a cutie, Oren."

Oren blushed, an unexpected giggle escaping his lips.
He extended his arm for Faizah to hold, but she raised her index finger up.

"Hold on, one minute.
Just need to lock my door", she said.

Ashryn quickly walked over to the pair, pulling something out of her pocket when they noticed her presence.

"Oh hey, Ashryn", greeted Faizah. 

"Hi", she replied.
"Uh, Raphael got me this sticky toffee bar from the Fuze, but I'm allergic to toffee.
I was just going to throw it away but I remember Sophia mentioning that you had a sweet tooth once.
Would you like it?"

"Oh, that's sweet of you!", she exclaimed, glancing at an equally surprised Oren. 

Ashryn handed her the toffee bar, watching closely as she took a small bite, thick toffee coating her fingers and teeth.
Once she finished the first bite, she nodded in approval. 

"This is so good!
Oren, I'm going to need you to get a few more of these for me.
I'd go myself but I think the catering staff actually have a poster of me on the walls that says 'don't feed her more than one sweet treat'."

Oren chuckled.
"Hey, maybe I agree with them?"

Faizah lightly punched Oren's arm.
"You better not!
We took a nonverbal oath when we became friends.
We always have to have each other's back."

"I don't plan on breaking that oath.
Ever."

Ashryn wasn't as skilled as Makoto at picking up on small nonverbal tells, so she couldn't really see just how deep Oren and Faizah's bond was.
If it were Makoto, they'd be able to tell that Oren might feel, or have at one point felt, something more for Faizah.
It was in the way his eyes always looked to her when she was in the same room.
The way he would be one of the first ones to help her when she wasn't feeling well.
The way he blushed whenever she complimented him. 

Ashryn just saw two good friends.
Then again, Ashryn was really only suspicious of Faizah.
Oren had never given her a reason to suspect he was involved in her siblings' deaths.
She'd never admit it, but he was probably one of the only good things about this agency. 

He wasn't aggressive like Imelda and Finian, or harsh like Astra could be at times.
Knox was ok, and Minerva seemed harmless, but the technology aspect of the agency never really grabbed her attention. She preferred old school methods. 

Ashryn dismissed herself from the conversation, but hid close by.
She watched as Faizah entered her pin code, before hearing three beeps and the sound of the door locking.
When the pair left, Ashryn hurried to the door. 

"Yes!", she exclaimed. 

Just as she expected, there were faint fingerprints on four numbers.
That only left a small number of variations to the code.
Judging from the amount of toffee blotches on the number '5', Ashryn deduced that that was probably the first number.
It made sense that the stickiness of her fingers would result in the number not being picked up by the system, meaning she would have to press it again.
The next numbers were trickier to guess, because Faizah would've adjusted how hard she pressed the numbers.
She guessed '3', '9', then '7'. 

CLICK. 

Ashryn grinned, her smile turning into a smirk when she realised that she didn't need Raphael after all.
She could always rely on her own abilities to get her out of a sticky situation. 

Faizah's room was very neat.
Her textbooks were stacked up on her desk, a black pen and a pencil to the right of them. Her bed sheets didn't seem to have a single crease in them.
She had a large mirror on her desk, with different pictures on it.
There was one of her and Oren grinning from ear to ear, pink frosting covering their mouths.
In another photo, she and Finian had long swords in their hands, and it looked like they were play fighting.
Perhaps the most shocking photo, was the one of her and Alessa.
They looked much younger, maybe in their early teens.
They held each other in a tight embrace, their faces pressed together.
Bright smiles were on the two girls' faces.
If some of her facial features weren't the same, Ashryn never would've guessed that it was Alessa in the photo.
No.
The Alessa she knew wasn't capable of showing such warmth. 

There was a medium sized, rather tall, white wardrobe in her room.
Ashryn opened it up.
She wasn't sure what she was expecting to find, but she just needed to find something that proved her involvement in her siblings' deaths. 

At first, all Ashryn could see were clothes. Some vibrant, others more muted.
There were about three hangers that had different coloured scarves on them, all arranged in the order of a rainbow. Sitting on a pile of folded towels, was a dark green photo album.
There were no distinctive markings on the outside, but Ashryn could see a few of the larger pictures peeking out of the book.
She opened it up. 

The first photo was of a woman cradling a baby.
The woman had long dark brown hair that was fashioned into a French braid.
Her face was an oval shape, with her chin slightly pointy.
She had olive skin, with rosy cheeks that made her look warm and gentle.
She was looking at the baby with so much love. 

Ashryn couldn't remember her own mother ever looking at her like that. 

The next few photos showed that maybe getting older, until she eventually resembled Faizah.
Although Ashryn couldn't tell immediately, after seeing the other photos, the similarities between the baby and a slightly older Faizah were more obvious. 

One photo caught her eye.

It was of all the trainers, except Knox, Minerva, Eira and Caia.
They were huddled together, smiles on their faces.
The most intriguing thing was that they all had gold paint on their faces.
The paint wasn't randomly smeared on their faces though.
It was carefully placed, seemingly highlighting every scar and mark on their faces. 

★★★

A fifteen year old Faizah was sat on her bed, her clasped hands testing on her lap.
She was watching a tear streaked Alessa poke and prod her face.
It had almost become a regular part of her routine, thanks to the other agents who teased her.

Alessa wasn't the prettiest teenager at the agency.
She wasn't afraid to get cuts and bruises, and regularly sparred with her friends and mother's mission partner, Rowdy.
Rain, mud and dirt were no strangers to her.

Growing up was difficult for everyone.
Even highly trained agents.
Scars covered her face.
Some from acne, some from training. 

She would've been fine if it wasn't for some of the girls in her training classes.
The girls that cackled and made gagging noises when she walked past.

Faizah wanted to beat them up so badly.
She wanted them to be punished for what they did to her best friend.
But they were stronger than her.
So much stronger.

Instead, all she could do was watch her closest friend criticise all the parts of herself that Faizah loved.

"Alessa, come on, that's enough now", said Faizah. 

Alessa jabbed her thumbs underneath her jawline, pushing the skin up so that it was level with the top of her ears.
Her face did look slimmer, but she knew that as soon as she let go her face would return to its usual shape. 

"Alessa, stop!", yelled Faizah, startling Alessa. "There's nothing wrong with the way you look!
Those girls are just mean, stuck up bullies."

"You don't get it, Faizah.
You don't get it because you're pretty."

"So are you!
Look, I bet you any amount of money that you're not the only one with scars. 
Half the agency has them!"

"Ophelia and Indira don't", replied Alessa. 

Faizah kissed her teeth and rolled her eyes. "Those bullies can choke on my fists."

They looked at each other. 

They made empty threats like that all the time.
Never to the bully's face, but when it was just the two of them, they liked to practise saying all of the things they wished they could say to their bullies.
Faizah could hold her own in a fight, but she only liked to use combat when she absolutely needed to.
Alessa was the same, although her skill level was slightly below Faizah's. 

"I swear to you... I'm going to make you see that you're not alone here, Alessa."

★★★

"What's going on?", questioned Alessa's mother, who was stood in the doorway.

"Miss Arden!", exclaimed Faizah.
"Thank God you got my message.
Can you please talk some sense into Alessa?"

"Why, what's happened?", she asked.

Then she looked at her daughter.
Then at the her red eyes.
Her chapped bottom lip that she was still chewing.
Her tear stained face.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

Alessa looked at her mother, holding her gaze for about three seconds before breaking down into tears again.
Violet hurried over to daughter, wrapping her arms around her.

"I hate my face", she sobbed.

Alessa had never said those words out loud before.
Never to Faizah.
And judging by the look of shock and horror on Violet's face, she had never said it to her mother either.

"Alessa Nella Arden!
Don't you dare say that!", she exclaimed.
"Your face is beautiful!"

"You're my mum!
You have to say that."

"Hey, listen here", said Violet.
"When have I ever said something I didn't mean?"

Alessa frowned.
It was true, Violet was always very open and honest with her daughter.
Still, Alessa couldn't shake the feeling that she was lying.

"But mum, the girls in my class keep laughing at my scars."

Violet's face softened.
"Honey, these scars aren't permanent.
I had terrible acne when I was your age.
And sure, some scars are still there... but with the right treatment, they won't be as visible."

"That's what I keep telling her", said Faizah.

"And my fighting scars?", questioned Alessa. "Will they go away?"

Violet frowned.
"Not all of them.
In fact, I can guarantee that you'll get some that will never leave you.
Like the mental scars.
But they don't make you weak, and they certainly don't make you ugly."

Violet reached out and lightly brushed her fingertips across her daughter's face, tracing each scar.
She smiled softly as she looked at them. Desperate to show her daughter how much she loved her, Violet planted kisses on each scar. 
Alessa exhaled softly, her spirits lifting just a little.

"Now, dry those eyes.
Rowdy told me that there are going to be some of those sugar crystal snacks at the Fuze today.
 You know how popular they are.
Why don't you go and get yourself one before they run out?"

 Alessa nodded and walked out of the room. Faizah and Violet's eyes met.
Violet offered Faizah a small smile.
She could see how much Faizah cared for her daughter.

"Do you think she'll be happy again now?", asked Faizah.

Violet shrugged.
"I'm not sure, sweetheart.
This agency has trained you from when you were just children, and it continues to train you as teenagers.
But you are trained in combat.
In psychological and physical warfare.
But you are not trained in how to survive growing up, sadly."

Faizah frowned.
"How do we learn how to do that?"

"Sometimes you have to learn things by being thrown into them.
But... you have us adults here to share our wisdom.
I just... I hope my wisdom is enough for her."

"What if... what if we did something to show her that your advice is more than just words?", suggested Faizah, a smile appearing on her face when she saw that Violet's curiosity was piqued. 

★★★

The following day, Alessa was getting ready for her classes.
She threw on her uniform and combed her hair, making sure she didn't look in the mirror for more than a minute.

She opened her door, her eyes widening in surprise when she saw Faizah standing right in front of her.
She had gold paint on her face, which covered the few blemishes she had.
Before she could question what was going on, Faizah pulled her out of her room, where she saw her other friends.

"Morning, Alessa!", smiled Astra. 

Astra had gold dots on her face.
There was a gold line going from her right temple to her cheekbone, where she had a scar she sustained from her first ever fight. Finian had small gold lines on the sides of his nose, and thinner ones on his forehead.
The gold was striking, complementing his dark skin tone nicely.
Imelda had gold dots on her chin, where she had a few scars from an acne outbreak.
Oren had small gold circles under his eyes and thin gold lines on his cheeks. 

"Wh-what's going on?", asked Alessa. 

"I told you, you're not alone", replied Faizah. "We've all got scars."

"Yeah, and we're still a pretty cute group", added Imelda. 

"Anyone that tells you otherwise is just insecure and nasty", said Astra. 

"I'll gladly beat Indira and Ophelia up, by the way", said Imelda. 

"I won't do that, but I'll stand up for you if they say anything else to you", said Finian. 

"We all will", said Oren. 

Violet and Rowdy approached the group. Violet had gold paint on her face, and the small paint bucket in her hands.
Rowdy grinned when he saw all of their faces. 

"Ha!
Well don't you guys look crazy?"

"Crazy cool?", questioned Faizah. 

Rowdy nodded.
"Crazy cool, indeed."

Alessa looked at her friends, a warm sensation spreading across her chest.
She couldn't quite believe that her friends had done all of this for her. 

"You guys, I-I... I don't know what to say", she said. 

Violet held the paint bucket out to her, with Rowdy holding out the paint brush. 

"Say you'll join us?"

"Don't worry, I checked that the paint was safe to use on skin", clarified Oren.

Alessa laughed, before grabbing the paint and brush.
She started putting the paint on her face, with Faizah helping her.
The teenagers laughed, before hugging each other.
Violet turned to Rowdy. 

"I see that you don't have any paint on your face", she said. 

"In fairness, I only found out about this plan this morning", said Rowdy. 

A smile slowly appeared on Violet's face, a mischievous glint glowing in her eyes.
Rowdy was too busy staring at her eyes that he failed to notice Violet discreetly reaching for the paint brush.
Without warning, she painted a thick line right down the centre of his face. 

"There!
All fixed!"

Rowdy grabbed the brush, laughing as he retaliated. 

★★★

Ashryn turned the page, revealing different 'get well soon' messages.
They all seemed to refer to Faizah's current injury.
All the messages talked about how much they missed Faizah, and almost all included anecdotes.
It seemed like Faizah was loved by everyone.
But Ashryn saw how different things were now.
The trainers spent most of their time with the trainees, and Ashryn had only really seen Faizah hang out with Oren. 

With the mission pulling their friendship group apart, could Faizah have agreed to Aoife and Calihan's plan of kîlling Ashryn's family, just so she could feel like part of the team again?

Everything seemed to fall into place now. 

Faizah helped the Head Guards to get rid of her family. 

But why?

------

Hi. 

This chapter was a little different, as it focused mainly on flashbacks. This chapter was designed to make you see how close the friends were before Alessa changed, and to see how loved Faizah was. All of this is what leads Ashryn to the conclusion that she has come to. But is she just letting what she thinks has happened get in the way of what actually happened?

I thought it was interesting to include Ashryn's spy skills. We've seen that she is excellent in combat, but the little tricks she's picked up from years moving around and from her parents are worth noting too.

I am not happy with how I wrote this chapter. It was easier to see in my head than on paper. I know that reading about the other characters can be quite annoying, particularly as you all applied for the main cast characters. This is the first book of the series though, so as well as having the trainees interact, I need to set up the already established characters and relationships. I find that, when I write book series, the first book is always longer and full of 'filler'/ 'exposition' content, and that the second book seems more coherent and focused because the characters have already been established. 

Also, I will reveal more on this later, but I do plan on writing a prequel to this series. The trainees will not be involved, as it will just focus on the lives of the trainers, but before they were trainers, of course. It will most likely follow them from the ages of 13-18, but I am yet to decide. You don't have to read it, of course, but you'll learn more about the trainers and their pasts in the agency. Some flashbacks of them mentioned in this book will also be covered in more detail in the prequel. I would like to include Sophia in it too, but that is only if bardsarethebest is ok with that. If I do decide to write the prequel, it will probably be published some time after book 2 or 3 of this series.

What are your thoughts on this chapter?

LeMystical-Puffle

DoodleYeet

ruesbennett

bardsarethebest