A/N: You and the others take on the space tyrant.

Frieza smirked as she looked down at You, Logan, Vegeta, Gohan, Krillin, and Dende.

Frieza: Well, Vegeta. You've finally pulled it off. You've managed to dash my hopes entirely. With some help, I see.

Krillin: Quack!

Gohan: Krillin, seriously, not helping!

Krillin: I can try.

Frieza: I'm very curious. Where exactly are you from?

Krillin: We're from Ear.....

Gohan: Krillin, no!

Logan: for once in your life, try not fucking everyone over with that big mouth of yours!!!

Krillin: Oh right... Thanks for stopping me, Gohan. 'Cause I can't shut--

Dende: They're from Earth.

Krillin: Little Green, why?!

Dende: Because my name is Dende.

(Y/N): you better watch yourself, you little shit.

Dende: bring it, bitch.1

Frieza: Oh good. I'll stop by there on the way home. Pick up some space eggs, some space milk, and BLOW IT THE F**K UP!!! Oh, I'm sorry. I'm usually far more composed. I'm just a little bit ABSOLUTELY LIVID.

Vegeta: Oh, Frieza. Quit being such a whiny. I lost my chance at immortality too and you don't see me crying about it.

Frieza: Yes, Vegeta. But you see, the difference between us is I'll live long enough to regret it.

She charged at Vegeta and engaged her in battle.

Meanwhile, Piccolo was flying through the sky as he was speaking in his thoughts.

Piccolo's mind: everything looks the goddamn same on this goddamn planet!

He soon saw something.

Piccolo's mind: wait a minute, a body!

He soon yelled out loud.

Piccolo: SOCIAL ACTIVITY!

Piccolo flew down and landed next to a body, which was Nail's.

Piccolo: please tell me you're not dead!

Nail spoke in their native language.

Piccolo: ah, crap. I find the only living thing for miles, and he's so broken he can't even talk right.

Nail: I was speaking Namekian, you idiot. Don't you know anything about your own people?

Piccolo: well, we're demons, right?

Nail: eh, more like slug people.

Piccolo: Ah, dammit! I liked it better when I was a demon.

Nail: And I liked it better when I had proper bladder control. Nobody's perfect.

Piccolo: yeah, I've been meaning to ask about that. What happened?

Nail: let's just say our world elder's kind of a giant green asshole.

Piccolo: preachin' to the choir on that one. Well, it's been fun, but I have to go DIE again...

He turned to leave.

Nail: wait. I might be able to help you.

Piccolo: look, buddy. If you want to add me on MySpace, I switched to Spacebook a while ago.

He said before turning to leave again.

NAIL: no, no, no, no. Listen. I think I know something that might work out for both of us. I don't wanna die and you seem pretty lonely.

Piccolo: DESPERA....

He soon stopped and spoke in a normal tone.

Piccolo: I mean, go on.

Nail: there's a special ability our people share. Forbidden, even amongst our most sacred clans.

Piccolo: and we're just going to abuse it?

Nail: oh, maliciously!

Piccolo: bitchin'! How we do?

Nail: well, first you put your hand upon me.

Piccolo: 'Kay.

He placed his hand on Nail's elbow.

Nail: yes. Like that. Now lower.

Piccolo: uh... huh.

He moved his hand lower.

Nail: Lower.

Piccolo: Hmm...

He moved it a bit lower.

Nail: Little lower.

Piccolo: Hmm...

He moved it lower.

Nail: ah! If we had junk, you'd be gay right now.

Piccolo groaned before the two soon fuse with each other.

Piccolo: wow. Unreal. My gosh. This is amazing! I feel INCREDIBLE! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! I can win! I feel great! I-can-do-this! HAAA...

Nail: (What are you doing)?

Nail asked as he was heard inside Piccolo's head. Piccolo stammered.

Piccolo: nothing.

NAIL: (really? 'Cause it looked like you were chanting to yourself).

Piccolo: are you in my head?

NAIL: (yup. Don't worry; supposedly I should fade away into your subconscious. Sooner or later).

Piccolo: okay. So, what now?

NAIL: (by my estimate, this fusion should have given you just enough power to wipe out the bastard who killed our people).

Piccolo: and?

NAIL: (well, let me put this in terms you'll understand: You can win! You feel great! You-can-do-this)!

Piccolo: oh, ha-ha!

Back at the battle, Vegeta and Frieza were in a brawler lock.

Frieza: Impudent... little...

The scouter on her head soon exploded just before she and Vegeta backed off from each other, creating a small crater due to their power.

Frieza: I'm impressed, Vegeta. When did you graduate from pull-ups?

Vegeta: about the same time you got off the rag.

Frieza: cute. But bear no false hopes, Vegeta. You're a mere paper tiger in front of a storm. You have no idea what true power I possess.

Vegeta: It's that you can transform, right?

Frieza: I can transform... Okay, when and how?

Vegeta: Guldo told me.

(Flashback).

Vegeta and Guldo had a quick conversation about Frieza's ability to transform.

Guldo: so... did you know that Frieza can transform?

Vegeta: huh. That right?

Guldo: yeah. And Burter's gay.

Vegeta: really!?

She asked, sounded more genuinely surprised at that.

(Back to Present).

Vegeta: and then I threw a dog treat at him. True story.

Frieza: right. But if you are so aware, why do you persist in goading me?

Vegeta: because Frieza. You're not dealing with the average Saiyan warrior anymore. I am a Super Saiyan!

Frieza: oh, here we go!

Vegeta: that's right, Frieza. I've arisen beyond the limits of a normal Saiyan, and into the realm of legend. The legend that you fear. The legend known throughout the entire universe as the most powerful warrior to ever exist!

Frieza soon started speaking faintly as Vegeta was still going.

Vegeta: I, Princess Vegeta, have become a...

She soon stopped as soon realized that Frieza was mocking her.

Frieza: ...Super Saiyan. Blah, blah, blah, blah, I get it. Then you slayed the Jabberwocky and went on to save Narnia.

Vegeta: go ahead and mock me, Frieza, but I'm not afraid of you. So why don't you doll yourself up and get ready for a night on the town, because I'm about to take you to a ballroom blitz.

Frieza: fine. I'll indulge you, Ms. Super Saiyan. But before I do I have a funny little story I'd like to tell you.

Vegeta: Funny how?

Frieza: I like to call it, "I killed your dad".

Vegeta: so "ha-ha" funny.

Frieza: You see, thanks to a rogue lower-class warrior, your father caught wind of my plans...

(Flashback to Planet Vegeta).

A Saiyan by the name of Butarega was reporting to King Vegeta.

(And yes, I'm aware of his redesign in the Broly film. I've actually got a joke to try and run when I get to the super chapters).

Butarega: King Vegeta, I have urgent news!

King Vegeta: speak, Butarega.

Butarega: Bardock has gone absolutely mad, sire!

They all could hear Bardock's distance yell from outside,

Bardock: Friezaaaaaa!

King Vegeta: what's all the commotion about?

Butarega: he's been telling everyone that Frieza plans to destroy Vegeta!

King Vegeta: wait, my daughter, the planet, or me?

Butarega: .........yes.

King Vegeta blasted Butarega away.

King Vegeta: Freakin' smartass. Counselor Nappa, what do you think?

He said to Nappa, who was wearing a head dress similar to Jafar's.

Nappa: let me tell you what you need to do. You need to sit her down...

King Vegeta: uh-huh.

Nappa: ...you look her dead in the eye...

King Vegeta: yes.

Nappa: ...and you say, "Don't blow up my planet."

King Vegeta: and you think that will work?

Nappa: she'd have to be aaaaaaawfully evil if it didn't. And I'm not gonna lie, I like the cut of her jib.

King Vegeta: all right, but I want you to take my son, the Prince, off-planet just in case things go south.

Nappa: don't worry, sir. You'll do juuuuuust fine.

(Timeskip).

King Vegeta approached Frieza, Zarbon, and Dodoria.

King Vegeta: Frieza, can I sit down and have a word with.....

Frieza: SHORYUKEN!

She said as she uppercut King Vegeta in the jaw, causing the king to fall back while producing with an echoing scream. The King of The Saiyans was now dead.

Street Fighter Announcer: K.O.! YOU WIN!

Frieza: Yatta.

(Back to Present).

Frieza: and then I blew the planet up. The end.

(Y/N): wait, hold up a moment. How exactly did you know about the parts you weren't even there for?

Frieza gave a blank stare and then proceeded to transform.

Gohan: Krillin, do you feel that?

Krillin: I taste that!

Frieza finished transforming into her second form.

(Y/N): oh cool, she got all roided up.

Frieza: all done. And judging by the expression on your face, so are you.

Vegeta: What...? How?

Frieza: let's be practical and put a number to that feeling, shall we? Last time I clocked this form it was at... one million.

Vegeta: you're lying!

Logan: "sighs" I really wish you haven't said that.

Frieza raised her hand and blew up the island that everyone was standing on, making an explosion so big that it can be seen from the planet. Frieza was standing on what's left of the island while you and the others had took to the skies to avoid the blast.

Vegeta: not impressed! I can do that, too!

Logan: yeah, you really told her. Any other pointless attempts at insults you want to try and jab at her? -_-

Gohan: krillin, are you okay?

Krillin: yeah, and I've got Little Green right here!

(Y/N): and at this point now, much to our dismay.

Frieza then started to sing her own twisted version of "My Favorite Things"

Frieza: ♪Peaceful young races with fires on their houses. Millions of voices all silenced like mouses. Watching the cowards bow toward their new king. These are a few of my favorite things.♪

Krillin: Is it just me, or is she singing to herself?

Frieza charged at Krillin and impaled him with one of her horns, causing Krillin to drop Dende.

(Krillin Owned Count: 16)

Krillin: Gah!

Gohan: Krillin!

(Y/N): well, he's dead.

Vegeta's Mind: DAMN IT!!!!

Krillin: This is... the worst... pai...i...i....in!

Frieza: really? Sure it isn't this?

She looked up and started shifting her head up and down.

Frieza: Or this? Or this? Or this? Or this?

Gohan: Krillin, stop! You're making her stronger!

Krillin: (while getting tortured by Frieza) I-can't-help-it!

He said while being tortured by Frieza.

(Krillin Owned Count: 23-27).

Frieza: One down!

She threw Krillin off her horn and toward the lake.

Logan: well, that was fun watching while it lasted.

Frieza: ah, I think impalement is my favorite way to kill a person.

Gohan: You condescending... sadistic.... callous... MOTHERF**KER!!!

https://youtu.be/2RprbIlL31Q

Frieza: pardon?

Gohan attacked Frieza by kicking and punching her in the face before knocking her upward with an uppercut and finally kicking her towards the ground. Gohan then started charging up an energy blast. You could feel a strange dark energy coming from his body. However, it was an energy much different from the dark energy that surged through. It felt more familiar. More...... nightmareish.

(Y/N)'s mind: why does that energy I'm feeling seem so much familiar yet different from anything before?

Gohan: GOHAN SMASH EFFEMINATE ALIEN! GOHAN STRONGEST THERE IS!

Logan: is it that reason?

(Y/N): no, much different.

Gohan launched a ki blast directly at Frieza, causing a massive explosion. Gohan was eventually having to catch his breath afterwards. Frieza was lying face down on the ground, covered in sand from Gohan's assault.

Vegeta: Yeah, how's that feel, Frieza? Now if you can, why don't you pick your sorry ass up and take on a REAL

Frieza started getting up, causing Vegeta's voice to trail off.

Vegeta: saiyan...

Frieza: huh. That happened. Vegeta, mind sitting right there for just a moment, I need to go play babysitter.

Gohan's mind: think! What would mom do in this situation?

(Flashback).

Goka was wearing a backpack.

Goka: Bye, son!

(Back to Present).

Gohan: I'm beginning to think I have issues...

He soon got punched by Frieza.

Gohan. AAAH!

He hit the ground and tried to get up, but got crushed by Frieza's foot.

Gohan: GAH!

Frieza: so, Vegeta. Does this get you angry?

Vegeta: not really. Kind of a smartass.

Frieza: well then, why am I even bothering?

Vegeta: because you get off on it?

Frieza: oh, unbelievably... Huh?

Frieza was soon hit in the side of the face by Logan and sent her flying.

Logan: I ain't sitting out through another chapter without a fight!

He said before landing multiple punches on Frieza's stomach before kneeing her in the face and slamming her into the ground. He then lifted her by one of her legs and tossed her to the air before flying up to her and landing a massive kick to the stomach.

Frieza: GAAH!!!

He then grabbed her by the horns and tossed her down to a massive rock. Frieza came out of the rocks and looked at Logan with an annoyed look.

Frieza: really getting annoyed with all pests on this planet.

She was about to try and use her tail to swat at Logan, however, she soon found that it was cut off by Krillin's Destructio Disk.

Frieza: alright, who has the balls?!

Frieza soon looked to see that it was Krillin, who turned around and started repeatedly spanking his butt.

Krillin: kiss my ass, bitch! I'm immortal!

Logan: oh god, you gotta be kidding me.

Frieza growled angrily and flew after Krillin, who then started imitating Curly's whooping sounds while flying away.

Krillin: suuuck myy diiii...

Vegeta was just sitting there, confused on what she just saw..

Vegeta's mind: how the hell did the one guy even manage to lay a punch on Frieza? How the hell did the bald man even get up? Oh, my God, I swear if he used that wish of immortality on himself, I am going to murd...

She soon stopped himself and opened her mouth in shock before speaking out loud after a short pause.

Vegeta: that... bastard.

Meanwhile, You were with Dende as he was healing Gohan.

Dende: come on... You can't leave me alone here; you're the only one I can talk to!

(Y/N): is that why you ratted our home planet out?

Dende: NOT HELPING!!!!

Gohan was regaining consciousness.

Gohan: I... you... healed me.

Dende: you are the only one I respect.

(Y/N): if you really did, then.......

Gohan: then why did you heal Krillin?

Dende: the better question is: why did I tell him he was immortal?

Krillin flew back to the battlefield.

Krillin: holy crap! Thank God I'm immortal!

Dende: actually, I healed you, you idiot!

Krillin: wait, so I could have died back there?

Vegeta: yeah, and unlike the runt and I, you don't get a power boost from it.

Krillin: hax! I call hax!

(Y/N): wait, how exactly did you escape anyway?

Krillin: Oh, it was awesome!

(Flashback),

Frieza was chasing Krillin.

Krillin: see, she was gaining on me there for a minute, but then I managed to lose her in some crevices, but she kept cutting me off at every pass.

(Back to Present).

Vegeta: she didn't just blow it up?

Krillin: I thought the same thing, but no!

(Back to Flashback).

Krillin used Solar Flare on Frieza, showing Dodoria in a lingerie for a brief moment.

Krillin: so I thought fast and I used the Solar Flare on her!

(Back to Present).

Gohan: and then you used your Kienzan to cut her in half?

Krillin: um...

Frieza flew back to the battlefield, angrily.

Frieza: I WILL MOUNT YOUR HEAD WHERE MY TAIL USED TO BE!

Krillin: To answer your question, Gohan. No, I did not do that.

Logan: well, if you weren't dead yet, you will be this time.

Vegeta: Douse this bitch!

You, Logan, Vegeta, Gohan, and Krillin fired a barrage of energy blasts at Frieza, covering her in smoke.

Krillin: did we get her?

Gohan: Krillin, we can feel his energy. Why do you bother asking?

Logan: yeah, everyone knows that this is the topical trope of thinking the attack hurt them, but when the smoke clears, it didn't.

Krillin: I'm an optimist.

(Y/N) & Vegeta: You're an idiot.

Frieza was unfazed by the blasts.

Frieza: you're all wrong. You're dead.

Gohan: you know what? I'm sick of this. If I'm gonna die, then I'm gonna go out the same way Piccolo would!

He moved in to attack Frieza head on.

Krillin: Gohan, no!

He flew after Gohan.

Vegeta: no, goddamn it!

She also flew after Gohan.

(Y/N): YOU'RE'S GETTING 5 ACROSS THE ASS!!!!

You said to Frieza as you also flew after Gohan.

Logan: I guess we take turns saying something before charging I guess.

He said before flying after Gohan as well.

A new figure surrounded by light appeared in front of the Five of You. The light soon cleared, and the figure was revealed to be Piccolo, arriving at the battlefield.

Gohan.: M... Mr. Piccolo!

Frieza: well, well, well! I'm legitimately surprised I missed one of you. But that's just fine because I've been working on some jokes. Now tell me if you've heard this one: How many Namekians does it take to.....

She got sent flying by a punch from Piccolo.

Frieza: DOAH!

Piccolo: Just one.

A/N: I've got a better one Frieza, How many fused Namekian will it take to kick your ass?