"Who were you talking to?" I asked, walking into the room. "I think I heard my name."

"It was Farouq." Farida was quick to answer. "He was asking about you."

"He shouldn't ask about me o, abeg!" I chuckled. I didn't want a repeat of what happened before. It'd be better for him to keep his distance from me.

Farida laughed. "Do you still hate him?"

I smiled. I just noticed it was the first time I had seen Farida laugh after the death of her father. I had seen her smile now and then, but it was the first time I saw her laugh. Indisputably, the person she just finished talking to—Farouq, had put her in a good mood. "Hate is a strong word. I don't hate anybody. I believe he did that because of the extreme love he has for you. He didn't want to lose you at that time."

"I know, but was that reason enough to use you to make me jealous? To get me to agree to get married to him while in school?" She sighed. "by the way, it's all in the past. I've moved on."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "So the two of you are back together?"

"Not yet," Farida responded. "I want him to sweat before he can get me back. Next time, it'd make him think twice before deciding to fool me."

"Uhm..."

"Yes. About you?" She asked.

"What about me?" I asked back. Farida seemed to be in a good mood today. I was glad.

"And that boy, Na'eem, did you accept him?"

I didn't want to talk to her about Na'eem because I knew she'd end up belittling him. "We're cool," I simply replied.

"Okay." She shrugged. "I guess you don't want to tell much to me."

"There's really nothing much to tell," I replied. "We're cool. That's it. He understands me a lot."

"Don't be too sure about that. For all you know, he's just trying to emotionally blackmail you."

"For the umpteenth time, I will say this, Na'eem isn't a manipulative person."

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes. "So I learned Imani has been freed and you were the one who pleaded on her behalf."

"Yes, I did," I admitted. There was no point trying to hide it from her when she had already find out the truth.

"For Jawaad to free her because you asked, should tell you something."

I already knew where she was headed, but I kept mute and gave her the chance to finish.

"I think he likes you."

I suppressed the urge to snort.

"Don't give me that look." She rolled her eyes. "I think it's obvious already. Jawaad keeps talking about you every time he calls me."

Nonsense.

"I'm your friend. It's only normal." I retorted.

"I have many friends, but he doesn't ask about them. He talks only about you."

"That's because you told him I'm your best friend." If I said I wasn't surprised by Farida's words, then that'd be a blatant lie. Since the day he dropped me off at my house and I said all those things to him—which I later realized was a little rude—he hadn't texted nor called me. But if what Farida was saying about him liking me was true, that wouldn't have been the case. It was obvious she was just making up stories.

"No, it isn't. Jawaad isn't the kind of p—"

"Can we please stop talking about your brother? I once had a crush on him, but not anymore. I was a naive kid then. I'm grown now. I have much better things to focus on."

Farida shook her head. "You can lie to anybody, but the one person you can't lie to is yourself." With that said, she walked out of the room.

I sat down on the edge of my bed and scoffed. I wondered why Farida was trying so hard to get me to fall in love with her brother again. Did she enjoy seeing me in pain? I had never cried for a man until Jawaad walked into my life. And since then, I had taken it upon myself never to allow myself to be used by any other man. Sincerely speaking, I wasn't even looking forward to being in a relationship with anyone—not Na'eem or even Jawaad. I just wanted to focus on my studies and make Ummi and Abi extremely proud of their baby. 

•

I had just finished writing the FST401 examination and was leaving the hall when Hala and I bumped into each other. I stopped, wanting to strike a conversation with her, but she didn't seem interested. She muttered "Sorry." And walked past me.

I wasn't very bothered about her attitude towards me, because I didn't care about her anymore—at least not in the same way I did before.

I shrugged and walked out of the theatre.

As usual, Na'eem was already outside. He was leaning against a wall, waiting for me. He was always one of the first persons to finish.

"How was the paper?" He asked immediately I walked up to him.

"Excellent." I smiled. "Everything I read came out. I'm hoping for an A. I won't even ask you how yours went because I already know you aced it."

He smiled at that.

When Na'eem confessed his feelings for me, I thought we'd never get along fine anymore because I'd always be uncomfortable around him, but that mindset of mine changed when he told me I didn't have to love him back and that he was contented being just friends with him. He told me not to feel uncomfortable around him because he was still the same Na'eem I had always known.

I felt bad—bad that I didn't feel the same way about him. Much more than anyone else, Na'eem deserved me. He had been the one person who stood by me through it all, without even expecting anything in return. He helped me with my studies. He practically forced me to study and he never made threw perverted remarks at me—not even once.

Is it even possible for a human being not to have any flaws?

The thought made me remember Farida's words about how overly nice people are always pretentious.

I quickly spurned the voice from my mind. I wondered why it suddenly pooped up.

"Let's go to the library." Na'eem proposed.

"What?" I groaned. "We just finished an exam. Let's give it a rest before continuing."

"We can't, Manal." He shook his head. "The exam is by 8 AM tomorrow. We haven't even read a single line."

"I have." I refuted.

"Alright then," he remarked. "You can go back to the hostel if you want, but I'm going to the library."

I sighed. "Okay, let's go, but it will only be for a while, please." I beseeched. "I'm so tired."

"Deal."

We had just started walking towards the library when my phone began to ring. 

I took out my phone from my bag and took it to my ear.

"Hello!" It was Farida.

"Hello."

"I suppose you're done with your exam."

"Yes, I am."

"Where are you now? Are you coming back to the hostel now...or later?"

"Later," I replied. "I'm going to the library with Na'eem. We have another exam tomorrow."

"Oh! With Na'eem...I see."

"Yes." I rolled my eyes. "Bye. See you when I get back...and please, make me some food..."

"As per your house girl Koh? I won't make anything." She said and ended the call.

You are.

I chuckled and returned the phone to my bag.

Eerily, Na'eem didn't speak to me. I didn't speak to him either.

We were just about to go into the library when I heard someone call my name.

Jawaad?

I turned around and behold, Jawaad was strutting towards us.

I closed my eyes for a second and when I reopened them, he was still there. I averted my gaze to Na'eem to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. Na'eem's surprised face proved I was not.

Jawaad walked up to us and asked; "Can we talk?"

"What is it about?" I asked, throwing all forms of courtesy in the drainage.

"Alone." He added. "I want to speak to you alone."

"Whatever you want to say to me, you can say it in front of Na'eem." I scorned.

"I can, but I won't." He remarked, not sparing Na'eem a single glance. "No bystander is needed."

"I will be inside waiting for you." Na'eem excused and began to make his way into the library before I could stop him.

"That's was rude." I pointed out to Jawaad.

"What was?" He asked, acting oblivious to the remark he had made about Na'eem.

It was unfair.

"Na'eem is not a bystander." I defended. "He's my best friend."

"I don't care." He shook his head. "He is not important to me."

I wanted to give him a befitting reply, but I deduced it'd only make him stay longer. "What do you want from me?"

"I came to visit Farida." He responded.

"Farida isn't here," I stated. "I believe you have her number."

"Actually, I came to see you too."

To say I was surprised, was an understatement. What did he want from me?

"I want us to talk."

"Well, I don't want to talk about anything with you." At this point, I didn't care if I was being rude. I was tired of the back and forth from him. I wondered what he gained from playing with my feelings over and over again.

"Why so belligerent?" He furrowed his brows. "I thought we were cool."

I ignored his remark. "What do you want?"

"Should I be completely honest with you?" He hummed, then continued when I didn't respond. "I want you."

Like a rocket-propelled firework, my heart rate soared. I was gobsmacked.

"I know this may sound sudden to you, but you should know that this feeling is also sudden to me." He continued. "I have realized what a wonderful person you are. Again, I will like to apologize for the mistake I made before. I feel so ashamed of myself right now."

I wanted to speak, but he shushed me and continued.

"But at the same time, I feel I did what I had to do at that time. It'd have made no sense if I kept on deceiving you, and that's why I decided to come clean. Mum loves you a lot. I guess you already know that. It'd make her extremely happy if we become a couple."

Jawaad is eloquent. I give that to him.

He had his way with words. He molded it so perfectly that I wouldn't be able to turn him down, but I wasn't the naive girl he used to know. I had grown wiser over time.

"What I'm trying to say in a nutshell is that I want to have a future with you. We can start by being good friends."

As tempting as his offer was, I had to caution myself not to fall for his words yet again. He deceived me once, he would be able to do it again. His words didn't sound believable enough. How can someone who wanted nothing to do with you suddenly show up and claim to want you? It didn't make sense to me. Surely, he wanted to use me. For the sake of his mother. I wasn't so dumb not to figure it out. "I'm sorry, I'm not interested."

•

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