I give reviews, so it's important that I can take feedback in stride as well. At the end of December, I took a lot of flack, some unsolicited. But one bit of feedback irked me. And it annoyed me because I should have seen it coming. It was from someone I praised and whose writing I respected. I often feel that people think because I don't say something negative about them, that there is no negative in my eyes. On the contrary, I simply do not vocalize anything that cannot be changed and/or isn't constructive. Basically, I don't say what I myself wouldn't want to hear. So when I got slammed back-to-back, I had to ask myself why it was happening.

The most common thing I hear when withstanding criticism is 'find your audience.' This mantra is meant to be the book version of 'there's someone for everyone.' As nice as this empty sentiment is, it rings hollow.

'Find your audience' is an excuse to ensure an author need not compromise. Truth of the matter is, there is a basic structure to a story. There are basic things required and when those needs aren't met, all sorts of problems can arise. So yes, you CAN find an audience for anything, but why? Why bang your head against a wall, dig your heels in the dirt, and refuse to make a change?

But then there's the opposite—the 'I'll view my work through the eyes of others and take what they say at face value.' Simply put, this is another cop out as well.

But which is the best way to view the book world? The outcast who 'doesn't need your reads to feel validated' or the 'tell me what you want me to be and I'll make it happen?'

Respectfully, I'd say both are useless viewpoints. If you won't compromise on a story, then don't show it. Keep it to yourself and stop expecting others to compromise for YOU instead. And if you are so wishy-washy with your story, then it's not a story worthy of reading.

So what do you do? How do you strike the balance?

You accept it. You take everything as truth.

It's true. Every negative thing said about your book is true.

All?

Yes, all.

From that dumb troll?

Yes.

From that frenemy who—?

Yes, even her.

From your unsupportive family?

Yes, those jerks, too.

How about that failed English teacher with an axe to grind?

YES, EVEN FROM THAT GUY. YES. It's all true.

It's all true to them.

How'd I come to this conclusion?

Pushing against negative takes far too much energy. And the idea that nobody's work is worthy of criticism is nonsense. It's an arrogance and a sign of weakness I refuse to fall into. Recently, two people read one of my books. So every day my notifications were a nice surprise. But two different people were saying two different things about the SAME book and the same characters. But both enjoyed it. And NEITHER of them read it the way I intended. And then it occurred to me. I can no more control how they interpret my work, than anyone can control how I interrupt theirs.

So yes, the negative feedback is valid. Even the ones you know are made in bad faith. 'Know why? You left an opening. You lack 'somewhere' and gave that know-it-all a way to punch you in the gut and they took it.

So I've decided two things.

1. When I get 'less than stellar' feedback, I will allow myself ONE question, "Can you give me an example?" That's it. No followups. That's the question. Then I'll use what I can and discard what I cannot.

2. I will not sacrifice anymore toes. I will fill plot holes, roll back inconsistencies, clarify vagueness and trim fat but I will NOT cut off any toes to try and squeeze myself into a shoe that doesn't fit me, and I don't like anyway. I write the things I want to read. The style I use is the style I enjoy. If I can no longer recognize myself and my passion in it, it's not mine and I don't want it.

So fine. ABC is bad. XYZ is unspectacular. That's okay. I'll fix the technical if it doesn't interfere with what I planned for the book because while their hate for my stuff is valid, so, too, is my love for it. Because last I checked, we weren't all trying to write the same damn story, the same damn way, all at the same damn time.