If a review(er) makes you quit...THAT'S. ON. YOU.

Not them.

"But, Ash! They're mean!"

Well, yeah. The internet has more than enough lonely, misery vultures with little tact and a LOT of time looking for their next psychological kill. So what?

Are you just going to lie down and die? Lie down as they kick your head in? And you've got two perfectly good hands to guard your delicate eyes and brain?

I'm a BIG advocate of honesty. But there are people who take great pleasure in making it hurt. And as they are twisting the knife, they hide behind "I'm just being honest" or "I'm just being blunt."

Sure, but just because a hacksaw and a scalpel are capable of making a cut, doesn't mean they should be used interchangeably. And if they do, they'd better have a good explanation for WHY.

It's important to not dismiss the trolls because there's a REASON they felt emboldened. They're not reading to enjoy, they are reading to find a weakness to harp on. And they do so with practiced glee. You can almost see it dripping off the computer screen as they pat themselves on the back over and over again at digging DEEP into the inner workings of a typo.

So why aren't they the problem? Well, you don't blame bacteria for doing what bacteria does, do you? Hanging around in the dark recesses, thriving in disgusting displays? No. They are going to do what they need to in order to feel better about themselves, which is their right.

And it's your right—NO. YOUR DUTY—to stand up for yourself.

Your writing is your child—your baby, and if someone came by and kicked your kid in the face and you let go of that kid's hand and run off like some distraught damsel, YOU GET NO SYMPATHY FROM ME. None.

If your kid was misbehaving, it doesn't give someone the right to shove them down in the street and stomp on them. That's not constructive. But after you tell that troll off, look at your kid again and ask yourself if the little 'darling' was doing something wrong. Something about him/her attracted the future grave-robbers of the internet, more than ready to make a molehill into a mountain, and you need to address it.

THINGS TO REMEMBER ABOUT TROLLS

- The SHOCK value is what they use to disarm you. This is true for any hoggish person, online or offline. That 'bark' is how they rattle you and suddenly all your composure is out the window and you're left on the defensive (often defenseless).

- Crying makes them stronger. Much like any power-trip, the more you squirm, the stronger they become. And the emotional violation lingers so stop feeding them.

- Wait for it, because one day they WILL meet their match. Trust and believe that day of reckoning is coming.

WHAT TO DO

Take a step back and take a deep breath.

1. STOP AND THINK BEFORE SPEAKING OR RESPONDING. A knee-jerk reaction when emotions are high won't ever end well for you. And if I'm honest, that's the type of attention they secretly want.

2. Remind yourself that tone doesn't matter for the feedback but intent does. Polite or tactless both can be equally as useless. I've been trolled by the 'high brow' & the 'troglodytes.' Neither feels good and both had the same intent—elevate THEM, lower YOU. And you can tell by the condescension.

3. Did the feedback focus on anything you are willing to change? Yes, good. Then you got something from it. No? Then it's simply not for you.

4. Did it give CONSISTENT feedback? Often, people use a point system which is rigid but say something entirely different. Giving you a low mark in one area while saying, "It's actually a good story" is NOT consistent. Therefore, it's unreliable feedback (one with a possible agenda).

5. Did the reviewer cry foul or blame you when you asked for clarification?

6. Did they say things that were inaccurate? I am SO sick of feedback correcting my grammar...incorrectly. And don't get me started on the ones who then go on to profess *I'm* too rigid about their interpretation because I'm an English teacher. No. Grammar is grammar. Punctuation is punctuation. If they are correcting you 'out' of the proper use, you know you've found someone drunk off their own kool-aid.

7. Get your revenge WITH YOUR WORK. Meaning don't give up. Don't just lose your head and delete everything (at least not forever). The moment you give people power over your emotions, is the moment you give them power over you period. Your true revenge is polishing off that manuscript, fixing the things mentioned (even though you hate to admit it) then coming back to let it shine. THAT'S what you do to vanquish a troll. You don't cover your eyes, draw up your shoulders, run into the forest with no direction, and fall off a cliff. GET BACK UP.

At the end of the day, the world (the universe at large) is under NO obligation to accommodate YOU or YOUR feelings. YOU have to fight for what is right. You don't have to get loud and throw swears (though they do help) but you DO need to shake off the feedback you can't use, and use the ones you can. The hardest part is knowing which is which. Just remember that regardless of how it's delivered, if you can't get anything from it (ANYTHING, because it's already hurt you), it's useless to you and deserves no further thought. So let that troll sling their mud, and smile when you find a few gems in there.

And don't worry about the trolls: polite or rude, it's often the dogs who bark the loudest who have nothing to say and they know it.

Oh, and always keep screencaps....