Hey Jitterbugs! Sorry it took so long for this chapter. But here it is. As always its not edited. So any mistakes i am sorry. Terribly sorry. Anyways Hope Yall Enjoy!

Song of chapter is:Toni Braxton- Yesterday

Dedication goes to:sweetzzz ( youre comments never cease to amaze me and its beeen a bit so yea. Thanks so much for your comments and for reading this story. I really appreciate it.

Chapter Twenty Five-

Athiss slowly ran his fingers through his sleeping beauty's hair. As he watched her sleep he wondered "how he could let her down without making her believe that he didn't love her any less than he did a few days before". She was always on his mind, and he thought that she would always be here with and for him. But now that time was limited at best. Why did it have to be her; he thought bitterly.

Biting his lip he sighed, as his phone went off once more. He knew that he should be picking it up but in all honesty he didn't want too.

Vaughn could sit and ponder a little bit longer for all Athiss was concerned. Why should it always be him, that picks up the moment his husband called? And yet when Athiss called the man it took him several tries. He was sick of being at Vaughn's beck and call. Besides reaching for his phone meant that he would have to disrupt Cheryl's sleep and that was one thing that he never wanted to do.

Whether she was sick or not; That had nothing to do with it. Athiss was always respectful like that. Sometimes people say to a fault. But he didn't see it. He loved being who he was. But something deep down told him that soon he would be a single, and broken. Someone broken that may never be able to be put back together again.

Just as the phone started to ring again he heard Sammy's quick footsteps and irritated voice come into the room. As her eyes landed on him and Cheryl she sighed " Athiss, pick up that phone or else i will and i'll tell Vaughn where he can shove it. Because it's freaking annoying and i doubt that you wish to wake her, right?"

Athiss smiled over at her as he whispered " I would but- I can't seem to reach the phone even if i tried. It fell out while we were sleeping and you're right i don't wish to wake her and moving would do so. I'm sorry that it's annoying you as well, I really am.

He watched as she walked over to the phone, picked it up looking at the little object as if it was the devil before walking towards him and gently placing the phone into his hands. Seconds later Athiss spoke " Would you mind taking my spot? I just need a bit of air. And maybe some time to actually wrap my head around all of this. I just don't even know-" Shaking his head Athiss bit his lip as he eyes scanned over her " Sorry i know she's your wife. It must be harder on you than it is on me."

Taking a deep breath Athiss let his lip go as he began to speak " But if it wasnt for her, I don't believe that i would be the man that i am today. If it wasn't for her believing in me and pushing me, I can't even think of what kind of life i would be living.

Maybe I would be working a desk job, being bored out of my mind. Instead i have a job- no a career that I love. One that i can wake up every morning or night and gladly walk into with my head held high.

And for that I will always be thankful to her for. Just as he went to open his mouth the phone went off again. But he ignored it as he watched her gently chew on her bottom lip slightly before she sighed and spoke "Athiss she didn't do any of that for this kind of recognition you know. Besides why even ask if i would take your spot, that is a spot i will always love being in since that's my wife there. Ya know?

He watched as Sammy crossed her arms before her voice dropped "Just so you know Athiss the only reason that you didn't know before now was - because your husband asked Cheryl not to mention it. He said that it would be better that way. She wanted to tell you the moment she found out. But he talked her out of it.

Athiss gently let his fingers fall from her hair, before gently pushing her up as he scooted out. Just as he stood up Sammy took his place. Athiss slowly let Cheryl's head fall onto her wife's lap as he smiled at the cute couple.

This would be the hardest part for him. When Cheryl was gone it would no longer be her and Sammy joined at the hip. And that too him was worse than anything else. Of course he knew that he would be losing his best friend. But sammy would be losing her wife- her other half.

Athiss knew that no matter what he wouldn't be loose his family. His family was right here. No matter what he would make sure that Sammy and their daughter was well taken care of. Now the need to get his own life under control was stronger than ever. If Vaughn thought that he could twist and turn the knife in Athiss heart deeper than it was he would be mistaken. Athiss knew that he loved Vaughn, He knew that there was a chance that he always would. But there comes a time when " I don't know" and "I can't choose just aren't enough anymore."

He knew that when someone refuses to choose it means only one thing. That you don't mean enough to them. Athiss never wanted it to come to this.

Biting his lip Athiss blinked at the screen as the missed call alerts blinked in his face. He knew that he had to call back. It was long enough making the ass suffer.No matter what he knew that sometimes you had to face things that you didnt want too. And this was one of those things.

Athiss knew that his emotions weren't in the right place, But he didn't care. Lately his emotions were always all over the place. So why should this be any different. His emotions made him feel as if nothing in his life made sense anymore.

Besides how dare Vaughn, try to dictate when and how Cheryl told him. This doesn't and would never hurt him as much as Vaughn has and continues to do. Athiss was just tired. He knew that when he got home they would sit down and talk.

They needed too. He was sick and tired of them tiptoeing around each other they were both fucking adults for pete's sake. They needed to sit down and talk. And get everything out. No matter how harsh or mean it would be. They needed this if they ever needed something so bad in there marriage it was this.

Athiss knew that without this- the marriage wouldn't survive.Sighing softly as he dialed Vaughn's number Athiss brought the phone up to his ear.

Taking a deep breath as the ringing continued Athiss wondered if Vaughn would even answer. Maybe this was a waste of time he thought. Just as he thought that the call connected. Athiss masked his displeasure with his husband as he spoke "Hello Vaughn, You called? I just-" Athiss wanted to smile as his husband interrupted him but he couldn't Vaughn wasn't being fair.

He was never fair when it came to things. This shouldn't surprise him he thought bitterly as he listened to Vaughn ramble " Athiss, Oh god Athiss i Love you, Please tell me that you still feel the same way too, and that you're alright?"

Shaking his head Athiss didn't think that was of top priority so he spoke softly " How long have you known Vaughn? Did you honestly think that it was okay to keep something like this from me? Because fuck, I can't stop these fucking tears Vaughn."

Athiss slowly walked away from the two women in front of him and headed to the front yard. He really did need fresh air. As he spoke to his husband.

Taking a deep breath Athiss continued to speak " And if that wasnt bad enough Vaughn, you want to know what else is on my mind? You are- Why do you have to be? It hurts to think about you Vaughn, The reason why is simple. Do you have any idea what it's like not to know whether or not the man you love, Loves you? And yet all you care about is hearing me say that I love you that i haven't stopped.

Why is that the most important thing to you Vaughn? Why can't it be showing that you love me? That You will give up that job for us not for me. And why can't you not think of it as me not being fair Vaughn? When you look at it - this is you not being fair.

Athiss took a deep breath as his voice started to tremble " Well guess what Vaughn I have not stopped loving you, and in all honesty no matter how much you hurt me. I don't believe that i will ever stop loving you. Now does that make you happy? Does it Vaughn?"

Biting his lip as he sat down on the swing tied to the tree Athiss closed his eyes as he sighed before letting his lip go and speaking "Do you know what your sister's dying wish is Vaughn, do you?"

Athiss didn't know why he was doing this. But he knew that he wanted and needed his husband to see just how it felt. When the one that you were married too and loved even thought about sleeping with someone else. It made your heart shatter- it made you feel as if maybe there was no love there. And the fear of " What if they do" and "Would they" thoughts came to your mind. It made you feel as if you were going crazy with no end in sight.

He wanted Vaughn to know what it felt for him every second of the day. Although he knew that Vaughn, most likely wouldn't do or say a thing. The adrenaline of hoping that Vaughn would get Jealous fueled Athiss. He had hoped that Vaughns heart would hurt and shatter like his does everytime Vaughn, told him that he had a job.

Taking a deep breath Athiss had hoped Vaughn would say something anything- but of course just like always he never said anything. "Why was it always him to speak his mind, Why couldn't caught for once open that fucking mouth of his and tell him his feelings or his thoughts."

And just the knowledge that Vaughn wouldn't do this made things seem so bleak- so unrelenting to Athiss.

After a few seconds Athiss heard " I have no idea what it could be, When it comes to my sister Athiss you should know better than anyone that she is a loose cannon. So trying to figure out what she may want or do is as pointless as you can get. " Athiss chuckled softly as he could hear vaughn's obnoxious gulping.

Whenever the man was nervous or anxious about something he had to have something in his mouth. As soon as those thoughts entered Athiss mind he shook them away he didn't need the knowledge of what vaughn did with his mouth to others.

Slowly raising his hand Athiss wiped the tears away as they cascaded down his cheeks.

Taking slow and deep breaths Athiss spoke " What if i told you that what she wanted for her dying wish for me and her to tumble around in the sheets, to get hot and sweaty, she wants me to insert my hotdog inside of her as she lays there under me whimpering and moaning as she calls my name Vaughn.

Looking straight ahead Athiss watched as cars passed by before he heard spurting sounds, He had to keep his laughter in. No matter what he couldn't laugh. After a few seconds Athiss rushed out " I am not joking Vaughn, Its what she told me that she wanted.

She also told me that she loved me more than a friend, more than anything. In all honesty i didn't see this coming.. I don't even know how to wrap my head around it. And what happens if i deny her.

Will that mean that she will think i don't love her as much as i claim, Vaughn i'm lost here tell me what to do? I know if it was you what you would do- but this is me were talking about. Athiss knew that he would but his husband didn't need to know that. He's lost that right, Athiss thought bitterly.

Athiss gently twirled the bracelet around his wrist as he waited for what Vaughn would say but he never expected Vaughn;s words to be so shaky. So unsure At-is, what is that supposed to mean? I know that- But Athiss wasn't going to let his husband spin this.

He wasn't going to let him turn this around so that Athiss took the blame. It wasn't Athiss fault that he couldn't trust his husband. And he be damned if all the blame would be placed on his shoulders.He was sick of it. So utterly sick of it.

So taking a deep breath Athiss spoke: "Vaughn, take it any way you please. I don't even know how to trust in what you say anymore. You lied to me love. You told me that you didnt fuck that bitch on our anniversary fuck it being christmas Vaughn,. it was our damn anniversary and you couldn't even keep it in your fucking pants long enough to prove to me that you loved me.

Hell i am sure at this precise moment you still don't know what you want to choose. The fact of the matter is you most likely can't. And i will be still here waiting until i am old and wrinkled and on my death bed for you Vaughn.

You break me time and time again. With no end in sight. And you know what Vaughn, i've allowed it time and time again. And that's why you think you can continue to do it. But it's fine love. I just missed your voice. No matter what ill always love you Vaughn.

But you should know i wont always be here for you to walk on. I will be home in the next few days, I don't wish to do this over the phone this is something i want to do in person. Where i can see your face. And where you can see mine. I want it to be something that we can both experience. Just know that i love you Vaughn, alright. I love you so damn much it hurts.

I have to go now Vaughn, it hurts speaking to you.Athiss didn't even give his husband time to reply as he hung up the phone.

Athiss continued sitting on the swing as he slowly wondered " Why wasn't he good enough for Vaughn?" Maybe forever was just something little children believed in because of those fairytales that they are read when they are younger. That they get a false glimpse of hope. He wondered why he was thinking about this now?

He knew that happily ever afters were just in fairytales. If life was as simple as that. His best friend wouldnt be sick, his marriage wouldn't be falling apart at the seams without him being able to do shit about it.

Slowly standing up Athiss made his way to the door of the house. He hesitated going in. He didn't know if he could stomach seeing Cheryl and Sammy embracing so romantically. It felt like ages to him that he and Vaughn were like that.

Why did it seem the good years have gone and past? And that there was nothing that he could do to stop it. Biting his lip Athiss walked into the living room smiling at the sight before him. He was grateful to Sammy for loving Cheryl like she did. To him Cheryl was unlike any force. She was the one person that he needed more than any. Even Vaughn.

But Athiss would never wish anyone to be sick, to leave those that they loved. But he couldn't help thinking "Why her" Why couldn't it be me? I don't deserve to live. My heart feels as if it's being ripped from my body.

Death would be better than this pain. If he could he would take her place in a heart beat. Gently leaning down Athiss kissed both of there cheeks before covering them up and making his way up the stairs. He had to book his flight home. He had to be alone for awhile.

Even if he hated being alone. Because the thoughts that came to him. Ate him up like the Lava would the landscape. But he would take this. After all this is what he deserved for being who he was. And for disappointing his Mother, and for making his father be caught in the middle he deserved all the heartache in the world. All the pain to his body. He deserved this and so much more. He thought bitterly.

As he made his way into the room. He looked around the room was a mess. He was never this messy, what the heck happened in here. And then he remembered Cheryl happened. That little spitfire was never the tidy kind. She would leave things spewn throughout the house.

Athiss quickly picked up the room. Before walking over to one of the many bags he had and laid out an outfit. Before Slowly opening up his suitcase and neatly placing the new items into the empty thing.

Maybe it would be better if he just left today. He thought halfheartedly. "Cheryl would have to understand right?"

Athiss slowly sat down on the bed, as he brought his knees up to his chin he closed his eyes. He slowly let the happy times with Vaughn fill his head. He wished things were like that again. Just as his eyes closed his phone rang.

Making his heart beat speed up, quickly Athiss reached into his pocket and pulled out the phone. Smiling softly he answered the call " Hello, Arenik. How are you?"

Athiss waited for the man to stop talking he was talking a thousand miles per minute. All because of the text he had sent him. It was a joke. But now the man wanted to know why he said that. And in all honesty Athiss didn't know he was just bored and wanted something- anything to get his mind off of his own predicament.

Biting his lip Athiss sighed loud enough to make Arenik stop mid sentence. Athiss didn't want to be rude but he had a lot of things going through his mind. And he wasn't sure if the man on the other line could help him. But he needed someone that wasn't apart of all of this opinion. And as far as Athiss was concerned Arenik, fit the bill perfectly.

So taking a deep breath Athiss started talking. Arenik what would you do if your best friend who is dying asked you to have sex with them as there dying wish? Would you be able to do it if it was a woman?

I mean- But before he could rephrase what he meant he heard. Athiss, What the fuck is that question. You have to start from the beginning you can't just ask the last thing i have to know the whole story.

Athiss smiled as he whispered " I'll tell you the whole story, if you wish. After he heard Arenik let sigh, he chuckled. I will tell you. But promise you won't judge and won't comment until the end?

A few seconds passed before Athiss heard Arenik soft velvety voice whisper " I promise, Athiss. Now get on with it. Chuckling lightly Athiss told Arenik the story from the beginning. About how they met, His abuse, How he and vaughn met, there first time, How things got the way they did, and Finally he came to Cheryl her illness and her dying wish.

By the time he was finished Athiss and Arenik were both in tears. Athiss whimpered slightly as he spoke " So- what should i do Arenik.."

Athiss had thought Arenik had hung up on him. But he was too afraid to look to find out and just as he pulled the phone from his ear he heard a heart wrenching sob. " Athiss, you can't do it. No matter what you cant. It wouldn't be right. It would be like you are betraying yourself. Like you are only doing it because she's dying. You wouldn't want something like that on your conscious. You wouldn't survive that Athiss. You are a strong man, but that isnt something i think you could handle. You are already broken enough, And if she really is your best friend she will understand your decision. Besides you coming to me. Tells me two things and they are " That you already thought something like this, but you needed someone elses opinion. And you were maybe thinking of doing it to get back at Vaughn. But Athiss two wrongs don't make a right. Besides you and him need to figure shit out. I can't believe the ass thinks its alright to keep his job and still have you. He's lucky so very lucky to have you. I wish you were closer Athiss so i could hug you, and help you.

Never in my life have i wanted to help someone as much as you. You really are my best friend Athiss. If you ever need anything don't hesitate to call me. Soo- when are you coming back home? I want to see you.

Athiss chuckled softly before speaking Either later tonight, or early tomorrow. I want to get back to my life. I cant keep hiding out here, and running from reality. It's time that we lay everything out on the table. It's time that i tell him point blank what i want and what i need from him. And fuck it if he doesn't like it.

Its not fair to me- to us that he can have best of both worlds. And yet he doesn't even want to put any effort in the us part of it. But when it comes to his job. He;s always jumping. Like what the fuck am i? Chopped liver. Puh please. I know that i allowed it to go on for so long that he doesn't take my words as the truth. But fuck he's hurting me so damn much Arenik, that i don't even know what to think. What to do or how to breathe properly anymore.

It hurts me, It's hurting us. I wanted to spend my life with him. I saw us having kids later on. By adoption of course. Us growing old together. But his actions are making it nearly impossible to picture anything like that and it's like my whole world is shattering and i don't even know what to do how to act, how to move.

I guess the thing is that he became my whole world. And i don't even know what or how i would live without him in my life. I must seem like an idiot to you, don't i? I'm sorry.

Athiss heard Arenik sigh, before speaking Loud Athiss listen to me, you are not an idiot. The one that's an idiot is him. How could he think that jumping at every job, is okay? Even if you allowed it. It isn't your fault. He could have made much more of an effort in your relationship. He's going to be one lonely man, if he doesn't wise up soon.

There are plenty of fish in the sea Athiss, So many people would kill to have a chance with you. Fuck that just to have you care and love them people would be stomping over others. You are caring, loving, sweet. You put others before yourself Athiss. You want to make everyone happy. But Athiss that isn't reality. In life there is going to be someone that isn't happy with something you do. All i can say to that is this Live your life the way you want Athiss, make sure you have no regrets.

As long as you're happy and proud of the way your life is lived. Thats all that matters. Besides those that stick beside you when you are at your worst, and even when you change. Are the true ones. The ones that will step on you, put you down, harm you, Making you question your whole being isn't someone worthy of your time.

You aren't perfect Athiss no one is, hell thats what being a human is all about. But this marriage of yours, it seems you've fought long and hard for it. But it takes more than just one person to make any kind of relationship to work. And if i must be blunt. It seems as if your husband thinks you wont leave him. He thinks if he just keeps saying i don't know, that you will just give up on getting an answer.

But Athiss you have to be strong. Tell him what you want, how you feel. And make sure he understands that it's either your marriage or his job there isn't any in between. There isn't any compromising. You can do this. I am rooting for you Athiss. Always rooting for you. I know that we haven't known each other long. But you are unlike anyone i've ever met. And i will always be here to support you. No matter how close- or how far apart we may be.

Athiss bit his lip as he was shaking. Why did Arenik have to be so nice, so understanding. Why did it seem like the man always knew what to say and how to say it. To touch Athiss so deep down, that even his heart was trembling.

This kind of trembling he could handle. This was the kind that made you want to stand on top of a mountain top and scream. This was the kind that made even the cloudiest of days seem bright. This was so much more. And Athiss knew that Arenik would be someone that he would never want to lose.

Even if they haven't known each other long. The man has become something very important to Athiss, and he protected those he cared about above all else. If only he could protect Cheryl he thought bitterly.

But he knew that her fate, her life was out of his hands. He was sure that she had the best doctors. And if not he would make sure she did. He would make sure that at least she would be comfortable. Thats all that mattered to him. That she lived her life to the fullest with the time that she had left. She deserved to have all the happy memories that she wanted.

He would do anything for her. Besides having sex with her. He just couldnt do it. It would feel as if he was touching his sister. And that was a gross thought to him. She was more than his best friend she was his sister. Even before he and Vaughn got together and married. She had always been his sister. Even though the love he had for her went deeper than a bond of brotherly love. It wasn't something sexual.

Athiss Shook his head as he whispered Arenik, when i get home can we meet up? I know that we have not sense the day we met. But still i would love to see you, and to thank you. Let me take you out to breakfast, lunch or dinner? You can choose the restaurant and everything.

But i should go, i need to get ready for the day. And i need to get the nerve to talk to Cheryl. I will be back home soon. So don't worry. Besides even if i moved i would tell you - so no need to fret.

Athiss smirked slightly as he heard the man on the other line laugh, It was as if he had a screw loose- But it made Athiss know that at least he could hear someone being happy. And that brightened his day just a bit. If only Arenik was here with him- than maybe he would be able to face what was to come with a smile but he knew that was just wishful thinking.

Sighing softly Athiss whispered a quick "goodbye", before hanging up the phone. As he laid the phone down next to him on the bed. His mind started playing tricks on him. About his and Vaughns marriage. The fact that they have been married for four years had to mean something right? His husband wouldn't just throw what they have away right?

Athiss slowly brought his bottom lip into his mouth as it started to quiver. Why did the fear of losing Vaughn, torment him so? When it was Vaughn who chose the way there lives were dictated for awhile now. If Vaughn thought it was best for him and Athiss to split than what was Athiss going to do.

Slowly Athiss allowed his head to hit the pillow as his mind started reeling and his eyes began to sting. He felt as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. But he wouldn't allow it to drown him in misery. Even without Vaughn, Athiss was still alive. He still had so much to look forward to and a life to live.

Quickly Athiss, wrapped his arms around his body as he whimpered. Who was he kidding without Vaughn, he was nothing. The vowed to spend his life with him. To love and cherish him. To never make him feel as if he wasn't loved or needed. To make sure that their love- and that there relationship was above all else. Athiss could do that, had done that, is doing that but Vaughn oh no it was too much to ask the pornstar. Yea thats what he was he wasnt just Athiss he was the worlds. His body on display for any fuck who bought the film. And that made Athiss stomach lurch. Why had he allowed it for so long, when it had been bugging him for years? Maybe this was all his Fault, he thought bitterly.

Just then the door creaked open making Athiss wince, he wanted to be alone. Alone with his thoughts and his pain. But he knew that reality was better than his head, his thoughts. So gently Athiss sat up as he did he saw his spunky best friend standing there with a huge smile on her face. He knew that it was time that he had to tell her. There was no need beatin around the bush. He hated being indecisive and he hated feeling as if he was letting her down. But sex with her wasn't really an option, there was no way that he could do it. He would feel wrong- oh so wrong. And it would make him feel as if they used each other. Not to mention when she died, it would be worse for him. How could he still stand close to her- if he did that act.

All he wanted was his best friend. And sex would ruin that. He couldn't take the chance. Besides that he wasn't even sure if he would be able to get it up. And that would make her feel so inadequate that it would be worse than the pain that Vaughn is causing him.

Slowly patting the seat next to him Athiss smiled at her as he spoke "Cherbear come and sit down with me, we should talk." He watched as she quickly nodded before coming over and quickly plopping down next to his side.

Neither of them dared to say a word as they sat there. It was like they were both in their own worlds. But Athiss knew he had to start this so gently he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his side. She slowly laid her head against his shoulder as she shook.

Athiss didn't want to hurt her. But he didn't want to hurt himself either. This was best for both of them he thought. Just as he thought that he went to open his mouth as she pushed him back. As Athiss head hit the mattress he looked up into her eyes, and his heart lurched forward. She wanted this- really wanted this. But he just knew that he couldn't.

He thought that he would have a choice, one that would set them both free. One that neither of them would be burdened. But the way she was now. It seemed as if she had her mind made up. But to Athiss he couldn't- he wouldn't do this.

This was betrayal, this was just like what vaughn did to him on a daily basis. And Athiss didn't want to be the other person to Sammy's heartbreak. He knew sammy she would never say anything against Cheryl's wishes. She was so much like Athiss that it was scary. And these siblings seemed to have them wrapped around there fingers. So of course they couldn't say no. But Athiss could say no to her- and in return he would be helping Sammy not have that heart ache- the wondering what if's that he had.

Athiss wasn't just doing this for him anymore. He was doing this for everyone involved. So quickly he pulled her closer to him as her body laid over his he whispered "Cheryl, we cant do this- it isn't right. It would break and ruin everything that we have and everything we have been through together. I love you- i really and truly do. But i can't do that. It would be like what he does to me. And i would never want Sammy to go through that even if she agrees you know how people who are so in love are. They will do anything and everything for the person they love even if it kills them inside.

I don't want to be apart of that. I don't want to be the cause of her insecurities. I love you so damn much Cheryl. And that will never change. But i can't have sex with you. I can't make love to you. I just cant. It would be like Vaughn, but instead of having something to hide behind like a job, it would have been a big mistake. We would both regret it. And our relationship could crumble because of it. You are much more than my best friend Cheryl, you are my sister. Someone so important to me that i could never imagine doing something like that to you. You are way more than my light Cheryl you are my world. And i wish to spend happy times with you no matter how long we have.

I don't want something like this holding over us. Something that could make us remember what it was like. I am gay Cheryl, i never have found sex with woman appealing. If that was the case i think that we would have tried this a long ass time ago. But you had to know that this would be the outcome.

I'm so sorry Cher-bear, please no how sorry i am. I just cant. I don't want to be like him. I don't want to ruin what we have. You, Sammy, Your little girl, and Vaughn are my family. I would never do something to ruin that. I just couldn't Cheryl please forgive- But before he could finish her soft gentle hands were covering his mouth as she sat up and stared down at him.

He watched as tears streamed down her cheeks. She looked as if she was between a rock and a hard place with no idea what to say, how to say it, or what to do. A part of him wanted to reach out and grab her. Telling her that things are okay, that everything will be fine.

But he knew that his words wouldn't do anything. After all he just shut her down completely. So what could he do? Nothing but look at her. As she opened her mouth to speak he listened " Tiss, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry about."

This was just me, wanting and wishing for something that i knew wouldn't happen. But as always you are able to let people down with skill one that has them still loving you. Nothing will change Tiss, nothing at all.

I love you so fucking much, that it hurts knowing i wont be here when you need a shoulder to cry on. I wont be here to see my and Sammy's daughter grow up. I wont be here for her first kiss, her first heartbreak, i wont be here to walk to down the aisle, I wont- be here for so many things but Athiss i want you to be apart of her life whether or not you're with Vaughn, that doesn't matter she is your blood Athiss.

Promise me that you will be apart of it. That you will love her like no other. That you will walk her down the aisle, you will be here when she needs someone to talk to. You will be everything you are to me to her. Athiss promise me please just promise me. If you promise me this i know that whenever i go- i can go with a smile on my face. Because the child that is apart of me and you will have you in her life Tiss.

I know that you're not ready to be a father. But that's not what i'm asking you to be. I'm asking you to be her friend, her uncle. The one that she can run to in times of need. Someone that she can and will be able to know will always love her. Thats all i want from you Athiss- please.

Athiss bit his lip as he watched Cheryl get off of him and sit gently on the edge of the bed. Taking a deep breath Athiss sat back up as he played with his hands. He was trying to wrap his head around everything that was said. How could she want him in her and Sammy's child's life?

He wasn't good for anyone. How could he be something that the child would need? Someone that was indispensable to her? After all he was just someone who was forgettable. He knew that when the time came she would end up finding out that he was her father by blood. And what would she want from him then? Maybe she would come to hate him.

Closing his eyes Athiss whispered gently " I promise you, Cheryl. Athiss slowly blinked as he kept speaking I'll always be here for your daughter. I'll be everything that you want me to be and so much more. After all she is yours and you and Sammy are my family. Which makes her my family as well no matter what Dna says.

I just hope that when she finds out that i am the donor that she won't hate me. A part of me hopes that she never finds out Cheryl. I don't want to disappoint that child. Being her Uncle, her Athiss is all that i can offer her. I know that it's not much- but Cher bear its all that i can offer her. I just hope that it's enough.

Athiss whimpered as he began to shake. Moments later he felt her hands on his fist gently rubbing circles around on him. He wanted to look up but he was so afraid- so very afraid of what he would see.

Shaking his head Athiss slowly looked up into her eyes and smiled at her. She was really the prettiest woman he knew inside and out. No one would ever or could ever take her place. His heart started hurting. He couldn't stop the lingering thoughts about how things would be without her here. He knew that he needed to just enjoy the time that they had left to spend together.

Athiss knew that as long as Cheryl was still alive and kicking. He would make sure that she lived each moment to the fullest. Even if that meant that he wouldn't be able to be by her side every waking moment. But that's what she had Sammy and the baby for. There were more than enough.

Something in his heart told him that whenever Cheryl died, he would become a broken man. One that is worse than he is now.

Taking a deep breath Athiss whispered " Why do you have to leave me Cheryl, why is it you.. Why couldn't it be me. I would take your place in an instant if that meant that the world still got you.

Without you here with me Cheryl, how am i supposed to survive? How am i supposed to know what to do? How am i supposed to know that it's alright to be me? Cheryl i don't even want to think about what will happen when you leave me- leave us. It hurts so damn much Cheryl. Why can't this be a dream? Why can't this be something that my mind conjured up to make the pain that Vaughn is doing to me seem less drastic, why cheryl, why does it have to be my cher bear?

I don't think i can take this Cheryl. I'm supposed to be strong i n front of you. I'm not supposed to break down. I am not supposed to show this side to you. I should smile too your face. I should reassure you that everything is okay. That no matter what you will fight this. But i cant i don't want to loose you Cheryl. Without you here what am i to do?

I'm so sorry Cher bear. I'm weak. I'm so sorry. That i can't be strong i'm so sorry. Athiss whimpers as tears cascaded down his cheeks. He knew that the dam had broke and there was nothing that he could do.

Athiss slowly reached out and grabbed her until they were holding on to each other as tears flowed between them. He didn't know where his tears began and hers started. It felt as if both of them were letting everything out right here and right now.

Moments later Athiss let his hands fall from around her. As he gently scooted back and surveyed the room. He knew that he needed to leave. But was it okay- to leave things like this he thought timidly.

Slowly opening his mouth then closing it again Athiss tried to find the words. As he opened his mouth once more he heard a very soft whisper " You have to go back home now, don't you?" You and my brother need to get things settled right?"

Athiss looked at her as he smiled gently. She knew him better than he knew himself so of course she knew that he was just going to go to the airport and hope that there was something free so that he could get home. This was something that he couldn't put off.

Slowly nodding his head Athiss whispered i do need to get home Cherbear. But i was thinking that you and Sammy could take me? I mean- if it's not to much that is.

As soon as those words escaped his mouth Athiss watched as his best friend Jumped from the bed and smirked. We will, oh gosh will we Athiss. I thought we would have to say goodbye here. But yay, now i get to say my farewell properly. But that is after dinner. We will eat at one of the Airport cafes, than you can go on your merry way.

Athiss smirked at her as he chuckled. This wont be a merry way. I'll be worried about you so much more now. Besides you're never far from my thoughts Cherbear.

Slowly running his hands through his hair Athiss watched as she left the room. It seemed as though neither of them wanted to say Goodbye just yet. He was grateful for that though. Because no matter what he wanted to spend as much time with her as he possible.

Sighing softly Athiss reached for his phone as he turned the screen on he searched for the airline that he needed as it rang through he was getting antsy, He was never one to like the uncertain things. But if he had to postpone his flight until tomorrow he wasn't sure what he would do.

But as soon as the line connected Athiss was happy to know that there were empty seats on the plane. So he made a reservation for one of the seats so that he wouldn't have to wait- or wonder if he would have a seat on the plane.

After Hanging up Athiss quickly got ready. It was almost time to go. But something inside of him stirred it told him that he should stay here, it told him that something was going to happen. But he just shook his head knowing that it was most likely his worry that she would die without him knowing.

Why couldn't he just say what he wanted? Why couldn't he just tell her and Sammy that they should come and live with him and Vaughn. That is where they needed to be?

But he knew what the answer would be.. thats probably why he would utter such a thing. Taking a deep breath Athiss grabbed his luggage and slowly made his way down the stairs and into the living room. When he stepped in there he noticed that there was People he didn't know gaping at him.

Biting his lip slowly Athiss took a deep breath and walked towards the door where he placed his luggage down. As he was heading back to the living room he heard " So thats my granddaughter father?"

Athiss didn't know what to do or what to say. He wasnt ready for this- for anything. As he entered the room he heard Cheryl say "Yea, but he won't be her father". That made his heart pang. He knew that it was what he wanted but hearing it being said so bluntly made his heart hurt.

Taking a deep breath Athiss Whispered "Cheryl we need to get going. I can always call a cab- but before he could finish that sentence Sammy was next to him smiling There's no need Athiss, My parents just dropped by because my cousin has a big mouth and told them that the one that helped there dream of being grandparents was finally in the state. And you know how parents can be.

Athiss chuckled softly before nodding. His eyes looked over and Cheryl and her daughter. In all honesty he never thought that something so small would be so adorable. He wanted something like that with Vaughn, As his eyes lingered on the baby. He noticed that her face looked a lot like his did when he was a child.

As Athiss looked down he heard " She looks just like him. Maybe in time that would change. But right now you can tell that he is her father. There's no denying it. Taking a deep breath Athiss started squirming he had to get out of there and fast.

He Slowly turned to leave when he heard " Lets go Athiss- we have to get you to the airport so you can get home to my stupid brother. Athiss lifted his head up and laughed. He felt as if she could make all of his problems melt away. If only that was true in his love life he thought bitterly.

They left the house and drove to the airport in silence. None of them was brave enough to start a conversation. As Athiss looked at the time he sighed. They wouldn't have enough time to eat anywhere. So slowly opening his mouth he spoke " Thank you both for everything. This was just what i wanted and needed. This vacation was so much happiness, and sadness that i don't know how i will ever repay you.

But since it took a bit longer to leave than i thought. But next time we are together lets go out? I promise it won't be years this time. Athiss watched as Cheryl bit her lip and Sammy grabbed her wifes hand as she slowly rubbed her fingers over Cheryl's palm.

Athiss didn't like saying goodbye to her, So slowly reaching his head in he kissed her cheek as he whispered Stay strong Cheryl. Don't cry this wont be the last time. I promise, I love you doll, don't forget that. Know that you are always on my mind.

Once stepping back he gently smiled at Sammy, as he walked away. He and Sammy already had a talk back at the house when Cheryl was getting her things. So there was really nothing left to say.

As he made his way into the airport he started to panic. But it wasn't because of the woman that he just walked away from no it was because now he was heading home to Vaughn, and without his love knowing. Athiss just hoped that things were alright between them.

He just hoped that Vaughn, wasn't doing something stupid. But Athiss wouldnt put it past him since thats all his husband seemed to do as of late.As Athiss got checked into the plane he slowly laid his head against the window, as his eyes started to close.

Normally he was one to stay awake on these things, but he was beyond exhausted at the moment. And sleep was calling for him. This vacation was relaxing in some aspects but it was also more stressful than he had hoped. So it was no wonder that he was tired.

Athiss bit his lip as sleep claimed him.

Stretching his arms up over his head Athiss groaned. He was really thankful that this was only a one plane ride. He knew that paying the extra money was well worth it. As his eyes looked out of the window he smiled.

The trees, and the weather outside looked wonderful. Athiss quickly stood up as he made his way from the plane. As soon as he stepped into the terminal he looked around and smiled when he saw his father there.

At least he had someone that loved him, someone that he knew would be happy to see him. He thought about calling Vaughn, but he wanted this to be a surprise. So instead he called his Father who brought him his car, and keys.

As he made his way towards his father Athiss smiled once he was within arms reach and his father wrapped his arms around him. He felt as if it was okay, to break down. It was okay to be uncertain. It was just okay to be him. His father loved him, Cheryl loved him, Sammy loved him. And that was all that he needed. As Athiss went to pull away his father smiled and said " I missed you son,welcome home."

Athiss chuckled as he looked at his dad, He saw how true those words were. How could someone be so understanding he thought, bitterly. The son and father duo made their way to the baggage claim. Neither speaking. Athiss was completely torn, on what to say what to do. But he was glad to finally be home.

As they approached his parents house Athiss smiled at his dad as he whispered how is mother? Biting his lip Athiss watched as his father's face went blank as if to tell him not now. Shaking his head Athiss spoke gently "I..understand I've disappointed her. I'm sorry for all of this father,really I am. "

Timidly Athiss turned his head to look out of the window at the passing cars. Just as he heard heard the door open he felt something slap his cheek quickly turning his head Athiss looked at his father as his father spoke "Athiss why be sorry for who you are, are you ashamed? If your mother can't deal with it than it's her loss son . I am proud of you, so damn proud. You are everything a father could want and so much more. Just be true to yourself and everything will work out. Now go home son, go to your husband and work things out."

Athiss nodded slowly as he smiled at his father. He hoped that what his father said was true, and that they'd be able to work things out. But something inside of Athiss told him that wouldn't happen that something was bound to go wrong.

It seemed as if there marriage lately was nothing but a convenience to Vaughn, something he wanted to hold on to without working towards anything. But that wasn't what Athiss needed nor wanted. He needed someone that was willing to fight, to sacrifice for them. He needed the old Vaughn back. He missed the old Vaughn. Athiss knew that he has changed as well, but was it something that made Vaughn not love him anymore?

Slowly sighing Athiss turned into the driveway of his house. He didnt want to walk in- he was afraid of what he would find there. Because there were cars lining the house. He hoped that Vaughn wasn't doing something stupid. He hoped that it was nothing but a get together.

Athiss wasn't sure if he could handle anything right now. He was moments from breaking down. Moments from just walking away and saying "fuck it". Why was it always him reaching out to Vaughn, wanting this too work. When it was apparent that the man he was so hopelessly in love with didn't seem to care whether they worked or not.

But if this failed, Athiss wasn't sure what he'd do. He's always seen himself with Vaughn, having a life full of happiness. Nothing like this. This was breaking his heart. And it seemed like it would continue to do so.

Athiss took slow deep breaths as he ran his slim fingers along his steering wheel. He knew that he had to go in but he wasn't sure if he was ready for whatever was waiting for him behind those doors. And if Vaughn was doing something that he didn't like, what would he do? How would he react? Biting his lip hard Athiss shook his head as fresh wave of tears wanted to flow.

He was sick and tired of always questioning things. Why couldn't he get just one ounce of love and respect from his husband. Slowly wiping his eyes, Athiss slowly opened the car door as he made his way inside.

As he twirled the keys around his fingers, Athiss eyes slowly scanned the living room. Taking a deep breath he had hoped that they would all be in here, somewhere within the house. That wasnt that studio but that seemed like just where they were.

Athiss was panicking he didn't want to go down there, he didnt. But he knew that he had to it was time. It was time to stop running, stop pretending. If Vaughn was there fucking someone, or if they were fucking him. They would be over. There was no if's, ands or butts about it. It meant that Vaughn, had chosen. That Vaughn did not care about him, about them, or about there Marriage.

Slowly Athiss made his way to the mantle as he gripped onto the picture of them moments after they said "I do" They both had smiles on their faces, and vaughns hand was draped across Athiss shoulders. Athiss slowly ran his fingers across the picture before he slowly swallowed and put the picture back in place.

As he slowly stepped away from the mantle, he closed his eyes. Athiss slowly counted to ten as he tried to get his heart rate under control. His fear was higher than anything right now. And he knew that he needed to act natural at least for the moment until he at least knew.

He was thinking the worse of his husband and he hated it. There shouldn't be any doubt here. A marriage a relationship should have so much trust that it would be hard to think that your spouse would be up to no good.

But no Athiss was thinking the worse, and in his gut it told him that it was true. He couldn't shake the feeling and it was killing him. Athiss quickly opened his eyes as he made his way from the living room and down the hall all the while hoping that Vaughn wasn't doing anything. That this was just all in his head, because of things that happened in the past.

As Athiss approached the door he slowly placed his hand on the door knob and entered. And the sight that he was met with made his breath get caught in his throat. He lost all will and respect for his husband. How dare he, He thought bitterly.

After all the love and trust i gave him. He dare do this to me. That proves it i mean, we mean and our marriage means shit to him. Athiss slowly walked over to the chair with Vaughns name on it and sat down. His eyes never leaving that of his husband he would sit here and watch. He would burn this into his memory, and he wouldn't run.

He was sick of running away from what was facing him right in the face. He wanted to be stupid again. Not knowing what it was like, what it felt like to blatantly be cheated on. And the fucker that he called a husband, the one that he gave his heart to didn't care. He just dismissed everything like it was a joke. Oh this was far from a joke in Athiss eyes.

Athiss bit his lip as Vaughn slowly caressed the man below him. His hands never leaving the flesh of the young man. Athiss wanted to jump up and say something, Anything but his voice was gone.

It felt as if he was in someone else's body. Athiss hated seeing this, He hated it with a passion. Vaughn was an idiot. Why did he do this to him Athiss thought bitterly.

Moments later he heard " Vaughn, Lay down and let him ride you." Athiss blinked his eyes quickly a few times as he watched his husband comply without a word edgewise. This fucker he thought.

He always said that was something that was between us and us only. Why did i believe him so idiotically? Athiss continued watching as his knees started shaking and his fists clenched beside him. He was moments away from bursting because the faces Vaughn was making, the sounds, the atmosphere everything. It felt as if his whole marriage was a lie. Why did Athiss ever believing this man.

This man that used to have so many woman coming in and out of there apartment. Why did he think he would stop any of this because he had Athiss.

Athiss thought that his love was all that Vaughn needed, But apparently it wasn't true. He was just blinded by the love that he felt for the man. And Instead of having many relationships outside vaughn changed and just put the false pretense of his job, to hide his infidelity.

Quickly Athiss turned his ring around his finger. He hated that he didn't know how to approach this. But he knew that when his husband no when his best friends brother turned around he would be shocked to see him there.

Of course he would. He didn't know that he was coming home this early. Maybe the idiot thought he could have this all done and cleaned up before Athiss got home. Maybe he thought that Athiss wouldn't find out about this.

Maybe it would have been better if he didn't know. Athiss took a deep breath as his eyes continued watching them. He wouldn't allow his eyes to look away for a moment. This was it. He needed to talk to Vaughn, and no amount of weaseling would get Vaughn out of the hole that he put himself into.

Athiss slowly leaned back as the director called "Wrap". Slowly Athiss looked around the room as everyone was running around with there head cut off. He was amazed at how quickly the people standing around the room got shit put away.

Biting his lip Athiss looked to the left as he saw Vaughn standing there in all his glory. The man was sex on legs no matter how pissed off Athiss was he would always admit that. But that didn't mean he would get on his knees and beg for the man to take him.

That was not something that he would do. Besides the fucker, didn't deserve that. He deserved to be left like yesterday's trash. But first they would need to talk.

Athiss like knowing that Vaughn, couldn't hide this from him. He could try and weasel out of it as much as he wanted. But Athiss wasn't going to allow him too. And if he had to they would make a scene right here and now.

Taking a deep breath Athiss watched as Vaughn took slow and steady steps. He knew that the man he thought loved him, was most likely thinking of what to say to him. Because the moment he laid eyes on his chair. He stood there still like a statue. Athiss wanted to laugh, he wanted to say Surprise i'm home, miss me?

But he didn't have the energy to laugh about this. This wasn't funny. This was serious. This was something that couldn't just be swept under the rug. Athiss knew that he had to face this head on there was no more cowering, no more running, and the tears he wouldn't let the fall no matter how much they wanted to come to the surface. Vaughn didn't deserve to see him cry anymore. He has lost that respect.Athiss watched with raised eyebrows as his husband stopped inches from him. taking a deep breath Athiss dared him to look at him, He dared him to lie. Athiss was sick of this man's bullshit.

Athiss slowly Opened his mouth as words came out " Looks, like you made your choice Vaughn. I Don't believe that there is anything left to say. " As Athiss went to push up Vaughn gripped his arms as he pinned him to the chair.

Athiss was furious, how dare he touch him after fucking some idiot. In his house. After he wanted to hear him say he loved him, How dare he do this. Quickly Athiss brought his knee up as he made contact with Vaughns stomach. He didn't care how hard it hurt the man he deserved this and so much more.

As Athiss stood he placed his hands gently on his waist as he spoke " You chose this for us Vaughn. I love you, i love you so damn much and yet you can't even stop fucking others for one month. They are your life i am not. So don't even think of lying to me. You chose. You chose the job over me - over us Vaughn.

You will end up a lonely old man. One that will never understand Love Vaughn. You Did this in our house. I bet none of these fuckers know that we're Married Vaughn, They most likely think i'm your damn roommate. I'm not that low Vaughn. If it was anyone else you wouldn't have gotten away with half the shit that you have.

Why did it have to be the job you couldn't walk away from Vaughn? Why did you have to break me like this? Why not just tell me to my face that you don't want me, don't love me anymore why do it this way Vaughn?

I would have never expected that you would hurt me like this when we got together and when we married Vaughn. Why did it have to be you. You know what you and this job can fuck off for all i care. I'm done Vaughn, i'm tired, i have no more energy left to deal with you and your crap.

My heart hurts love, But that doesn't matter right now. What matters is that were through Vaughn, I'm sick of your words. I'm sick of your lies. I'm just so sick of everything. For the last six months, all you've done is hurt me. And i the stupid fuck took you back let you touch me let you walk over me like i was trash. I hope that you're Happy love. You broke me.

Athiss went to walk away as Vaughn gripped onto his wrist "No Athiss, please" You can't leave me i need you. I need you so damn much. Please let me explain everything?"

Quickly pulling his hand away Athiss glared at Vaughn before whispering "No, Because i'm sure it will all be nothing but lies. And with that he walked out of the room leaving Vaughn on his hands and knees. As soon as the door shut Athiss let the tears fall.

He let all his emotions go. Why the fuck would Vaughn do this too him he thought Bitterly. Of course Vaughn would do this. He didn't care about him, he didn't care about anything. There marriage was a joke. It was a sham.

Athiss quickly made his way from the house. He needed to get away from the man before he smacked him or worse killed the asshole and ended up in jail. He still loved Vaughn, but there was a time that you had to cut your loses and this was one of those times.

Slowly Athiss exhaled as he made his way to his car. Once inside he broke down as his body shook. He knew it wasn't wise to drive but there was nothing that he could do. And no one he could turn too. Athiss closed his eyes as he willed his body to calm down.