Pain, it laced through him like white hot lightning, he couldn't see couldn't think. His breathing was spotty and erratic as he tried to control his raging heart beat. He could hear them, hear their laughing as he tried to crawl away from them. He was done with fighting but he couldn't yield he couldn't! Steve wouldn't; he had to stay strong stay strong for Steve.

They kept laughing speaking German he could only make out a few words. They were not kind, everything hurt and he couldn't form his thoughts to make sense even to him. The ones he cooks grasp were like single words or short sentences shouted within his mind. His captors, Hydra kept saying the same thing over and over to him.

"Your precious Captain is dead asset, no one is coming for you, he's gone."

Gone? Steve couldn't be gone, no no no! He couldn't be gone!

Gone. Gone. Gone. Gone!

"Barnes?! Hey man you need to wake up."

Steve couldn't be gone, he couldn't do this without him. Couldn't stay strong without clinging to the fact his best friend was alive and as safe as he could be in this war. He was Captain America, he couldn't be dead...they were lying he couldn't be dead.

"Hey man come on it's a dream you need to snap out of it."

He hurt so much he couldn't do this, please God please if you cared about him at all please come and take him away from this. Please God let Steve be okay, please please please.

"Barton? What is it?"

"Help me I can't wake him up."

They were coming for him, like the sticky tentacles of the monster who's face they wore. Biting into his skin, ripping away who he was piece by piece. They relished in this, unmaking him and rebuilding him until he didn't remember. Did he still remember? Who was he?

Barnes. James. Buchanan. Barnes!

"Fuck...okay hang on."

"Barnes? James hey Bucky come on man snap out of it."

It was dark, cold, wet and lonely. The alone part may have been the worst of it. In those last moments before he had fallen into that abyss and given up. In those fleeting moments before James had died and the asset had been born. It had been the crushing loneliness that had done him in. He was so alone and Steve was gone and never coming back. Never coming to get him, he would be in this torment forever.

"BUCKY!"

Like a tether yanked taught he heard it, heard those voices. He came crashing back into reality as hard as he had hit the earth after he had fallen from the train. He heard shuddering gasps, was that him making that noise? He couldn't see it was all too cloudy, the dreams too real even still. He felt more than he saw, that sense hyper aware in contrast to the others that buzzed in his mind,  confusing him even now. Two sets of hands were on him, warm firm and gentle. He didn't deserve gentle; hydra wasn't gentle, they hadn't held him upright when this happened. When fear and pain thrashed it's way through his blood, he was laughed at and dealt more pain because of his cries. The hands held firm though, each had a one on his back supporting him and it was than Bucky realized he had a vice like grip on the other two hands in front of him. The two sets of hands keeping him upright as he shuddered for air. Wait he couldn't breathe!

"Easy hey easy now you can breathe, slow down." He couldn't;  he shook his head as his chest burned from it. He couldn't he couldn't do it, there wasn't any air left there wasn't...he couldn't.

"Guide him forward slow." That was different than the first voice, who were they? Who was he? Where was he? What was going on? Why couldn't he breathe?!

Bucky felt the movement as his panic had risen, his head guided between his legs. The hands moving to keep supporting him as the first voice demanded he slow his breathing. Damn that voice was bossy, why couldn't he leave him alone. He, it was a he wasn't it? His mind still muddled, one of the hands was rubbing his back as he choked for breath.

"What the hell is going on in here?" A third voice now spoke, but he couldn't focus. He couldn't calm down he couldn't he...what was he?

"Found him like this." The first voice said, that voice was on his left. Did he know that voice? He did...who was it. Friend? Steve's friend? Steve...panic yanked its hold harder. What little calm he had been able to grasp was gone like the floor was yanked from under him.

"Fucking hell." Second voice on his right said, he knew that voice to. He knew that he knew them but couldn't remember, why couldn't he remember? He hated that he couldn't remember. Than that third voice yanked through his fog and what he assumed was the third voices hand grabbed his flesh one and pressed it to their sternum.

"Sargent. Breathe. You can I promise, copy me. Now." The voice was calm and full of authority, an order he knew orders. He could follow orders, he took a wheezing gasps, too fast too short. "Slower, deep inhale through your nose, than exhale as slow as you can through your mouth." Right, slow....he tries again and he choked again on the air he was trying to force into his lungs. But the third voice key taking the slow down exaggerating breaths. Slowly, so painfully slow air made its way into his body. The world wasn't just loud sounds but came out of the fog into focus just as slowly. He could breathe and he was panting from the effort, the world was shaking or was that him shaking? He was shaking almost violently, the voices took names than. The one on his left, archer, arrows...Barton. Clint, the former shield agent was in sweats his hair a mess, what time was it? The second voice the one on the right took focus than. Dark skin and worried eyes, wings...Falcon...Willson, Sam.

All at once it came crashing back, it had been six months since Thanos. Six months since everything had changed, a lot had happened in that time. The first month of that Stark had been In Wakanda's ICU, he had flatlined Bucky couldn't count how many times but he fought. But he lived, but not without scars. Because of the snap Stark had nearly lost his whole arm. But with help from Cho and Shuri they had saved it elbow up. Shuri even made him a prosthetic not so unlike Bucky's own. The spider kid had also moved in with Pepper and Tony in that time. May had died right before Peter had come back, car crash. The poor kid had been through a lot, but they all had to deal with the fact that five years had passed.

That was hard for Bucky, really hard because he had felt that before. Loosing your grip on time even if this wasn't the same as Hydra. But than there had been Steve... Bucky didn't blame him and in all honesty couldn't be mad at him. Steve has always been an one women guy. So no he hadn't been mad, not really, it had hurt in another way because suddenly Steve looked his age. Not like Bucky who was 106 and looked 27, no Steve looked every bit his age. That just alone was world shaking. So in the past six months they had been rebuilding the world or helping as best they could, he himself had been pardoned and he had cut his hair shedding the last bit of the Winter Soldier's outward appearance. He had been going to therapy because he had to, one of things she made him do such he hated was talking. It didn't know how to form words to where they made sense. But he had to make amends she had said, Stark had been the first person he had gone to.

He had shown up on the guys porch after he had only been home a week and had said the words he had memorized. He found it dumb, so dumb but he had done it.

"I am no longer the winter soldier, my name is James Bucky Barnes and you're part of my efforts to make amends." He had felt stupid, so very stupid but Stark had just leaned on the doorframe cocking a brow at him. Bucky had wanted to earth to swallow him up when he had said.

"Therapist tell your to say that?" Bucky had nodded and met his eyes, Stark had sighed and let him in. They had sat and had coffee, Stark didn't drink anymore. It had been awkward and stressful but he never would forget what he had said to him.

"Look Barnes, I've...mellowed in my old age it's what happens when you have a kid than adopt another one than almost die. It wasn't your fault I see that now but you were there and I needed to blame you because I guess it was easier than blaming Steve. So don't sweat it okay? Don't like show up and try and fix my roof or something okay?" And that had been the end of it. Which Bucky had been so very grateful for. He had a small place in Brooklyn away from everyone and he visited Steve when he could.

Steve...that crushing grief slammed into him just now and his stomach rolled. Stark had probably seen him go green because before he knew it someone, might've been Sam, had thrust a bin under his chin and he hurled. Bucky wasn't sure how long he sat there upchucking everything he felt like he had ever eaten before it stopped. The room was still as he felt himself shaking from the force of his heaves, Christ he felt awful. Sam has something, maybe asking if he was done but he couldn't even bring himself to respond.

"Sam take care of that yeah? Tony we still have that awesome tea downstairs?" That was Barton's voice, he had forgotten he was here, why did he always forget?

"Bet your ass we do, maybe make the kid some toast to he looks a bit peaky." Sam moved away because it had been Sam holding the bucket. The man disappeared out of the door to empty its contents and do whatever Barton had just said. Bucky than realized he was sitting on the floor in front of the foot of his bed his head on his knees. Barton still had a hole of him and he was talking but it wasn't to Stark who was still in front of Bucky.

"Pietro why are you up?" Pietro? Fast, silver hair and way too loud. The other half to the Maximoff twins, memories came back slowly of the kid. During the civil war he had stayed with Barton's family. The kid one of their own now. Though he had grown into a nice young man, more of a farm boy than the cocky bastard he had been according to Clint. But like so many others he had vanished in the blip.

"I heard the noise; he okay?" Pietro's voice wasn't as heavily accented anymore. Years of living in the states around farmers did that he had said once. He was more relaxed and way more comfortable around those he cared about. Clint was like his dad, and they acted more like father and son than most actual father and sons that Bucky had seen. He was a good kid, a really good kid who was now a young man. The hands on Bucky changed as Barton told Stark to keep him from tipping over. He didn't want to move, ever again he would stay right here thank you very much.

"It was bad, can you-?" Barton didn't get to finish whatever it had been he was going to say. Pietro seemed to already know, he remembered vaguely Barton telling him during the civil war that the kid used to have horrible nightmares. Steve had even mentioned that Barton had helped him a few times with them. That sharp pain in his heart drove deeper at another thought of his best friend, the last piece of any chance of normalcy he had.

"Yeah I can, don't worry I'll tell Laura to." There seemed to be a muffled thank you, they had hugged maybe? Than it was Barton on the floor in front of him forcing Bucky to look up. His vision swam as Barton took him in, his brows furrowed.

"Okay man you need a shower me and Tony are gonna help you up, we will go slow, you get dizzy say something, got it?" He didn't want to move didn't want to be hauled to his feet, he wanted to stay here. But like his awareness was flicking on one switch at a time he noticed he was covered in a thick layer of sweat. He was drenched, his now shorter hair flat to his skull with it, his bed was probably also drenched. It was gross and he was shivering because he was suddenly very cold. He hated cold, too many bad things happened in the cold. Too many people died when Bucky went cold. Yup maybe a shower wasn't so bad.

As if Clint read his thoughts he nodded to Tony who was behind Bucky and slowly. So very slowly, they hauled him to his feet. The world tipped and his whole body shuddered. If he was more coherent he might've been embarrassed but he wasn't and couldn't muster the strength to be embarrassed. Step by creaking step they hauled him into the bathroom. Tony said something to Clint and the inventor was out the door leaving Bucky alone with the archer. Clint nudged him to sit on the counter as he moved about the bathroom. Bucky was shaking and unsteady but managed to stay upright. Than Clint was in front of him again, the guy was sleep rippled and guilt seized him. He had woken them up, how many of them had he woken up?

"Hey, none of that, showers on I'm gonna turn around and you are going in there and get freshened up. I'll give you 20 minutes, if you aren't done or you get spaced out again don't think I'm above getting in there with you and making sure you don't drown." Bucky had no doubt that the archer would make good on that threat. Bucky wasn't sure when it had happened, when he had noticed that Clint was always the guy around when people needed him. Bucky remembered the stories, of Steve when he first got back and what Clint had done for him. For the kid and of course all he had done for Natasha. That name also left a pang in Bucky's heart, the red haired angry ballerina with he cunning of a fox. Bucky must've spaced out again because Clint was snapping his fingers in front go his face.

"There he is, get in the shower man before I push you in." Bucky nodded but waited until Clint had turned before he stripped down and got into the lukewarm water. He took a shuddering breath the water pelting into his back as he rested his head on the wall. He knew he couldn't just stand here for very long, Barton's promise to crawl in here still hung in the air. Bucky didn't want him to, he didn't even want to be standing but he definitely didn't want to deal with Barton with no clothes on. He grabbed the bar of soap that smelled of pine and warm fires, he wasn't sure who it belong to or if Stark had just outfitted each bathroom with the essentials. He made quick work of getting the thick layer of sweat off of his body, grabbing the shampoo next to wash his hair. That was one nice thing about having short hair again, so much easier to wash. When he was halfway done he heard a soft voice, female, with Clint's low response. Bucky peaked out of the shower to see the dark haired women that was Laura his wife. She had a bundle in her arms that looked like clothes that she was passing to Clint. She was kind and even tempered as far as he knew but he remembered hearing someone say not to cross her family when she was around. Any women who welcomed the Avengers into her home like it was a normal day was one hell of a women. He also saw Pepper behind her stripping the bed clothes from his bed and that gut turning feeling returned. He hadn't meant to put so many people out...he ducked back into the shower before they saw him. Close to the 20 minute mark he shut off the water and Clint tossed him a towel. Once he was mostly dry he stepped out and Clint nodded to the stack of clothes on the counter, he than stepped out so Bucky could get dressed.

Bucky eyed the new clothes and grabbed the sweats first, thick and soft gray sweat pants went on over his boxers before he dared look at himself in the fogged up mirror. Christ he looked awful, dark bags under his eyes and his face was ghostly pale. It was a wonder the others hadn't said something sooner, but he had been quiet since he had arrived here a day or two ago. The heaviness in the air had threatened to choke him. Because it had been six months since the downfall of Thanos but it had been only six days since Steve...since Steve had passed away. That was the first time he had really thought it, Steve was gone and this time he wasn't coming back. He had seen him just two weeks ago, it wasn't like Peggy it wasn't the loss of her memory, no sickness he just went to bed and...never woke up again. Had he hung on just to see Bucky pardoned? That Tony was alive and okay? Had he decided that his work was finally finished and gone with Peggy that night? Bucky heard the groan of the counter before he felt it crack under his hands. Selfish, the God damn bastard was so selfish! He was angry so very angry because Steve was all he had, Steve was the only thing left of him from before. Before Hydra's tainting had tarnished his soul, before the war before everything. Now he was just gone and he couldn't deal okay! He couldn't deal with him being gone, couldn't deal with Sam always checking in on him, couldn't deal with a therapist who could never understand it but pretended like she did. Couldn't deal with all the looks the others gave him after Steve had passed, Sam had been the one that told him, Sam had watched him go so still that he might as well been frozen again. The ocean that roared in his ears because all he could think was.

'No, you can't be gone to, please no I can't..."

The funeral had been that morning and another wake or something was today with all the powerful people who think they knew him. It had just been them today or yesterday? Just the Avengers and a few others, Steve's decedents little ones Bucky never got to know. The funeral had been so much, Bucky had felt the world crashing down on him as one after another people got up and spoke. Sam's and Tony's  had been the hardest to hear, the billionaire had cried... in front of people and that had almost done Bucky in. The room so huge but had felt so small, Bucky had been sat in the second row next to Sam and Thor. Bucky hadn't wanted to get up and say anything he couldn't bring himself too. So afraid he would crack completely in front of a room full of strangers. When Clint had gotten up to speak Bucky had sworn he was going to break when a small hand had tugged on his jacket sleeve. Morgan, the little Stark had somehow gotten away from her mother and was now at his side. Her little face was so serious and full of determination, like she was on a mission no one was going to stop her from completing. She then had tugged his flesh hand down to her level and had clasped it tightly in her small hand. Thor had sidestepped so she could stand on the chair and hold Bucky's hand with ease. Bucky hadn't known what to do, he wasn't good with kids anymore they should be scared of him but Morgan... She had no fear in her eyes just understanding no five year old should have. Pepper had smiled wetly over to them as Tony put an arm around her as Morgan stayed there for the rest of the funeral and sat next to Bucky and had held his hand. He was beyond grateful for it, he had needed someone to hold his hand and wouldn't have accepted it from anyone but her.

The 'family' as Stark had called all of them were staying in this big house with far too many rooms, all of them able to fit with ease and Stark had insisted they all stay there. No one needed to be alone, they all needed each other right now and Bucky had wanted to melt into the wooden floorboards. He was used to alone even though he hated it, hated that vast emptiness that came with it. The demons that screamed at him from the shadows, he nearly jumped out of his skin as Clint opened the door and gave him a look.

"Put the other stuff on man, Sam is waiting on us or do you need help?" There was no judgment in his tone, it was factual and authoritative but no he didn't need help. He just reached for the black tee-shirt and yanked it on over his head. The hoodie was next a darker gray then the pants, and in basic white print it read across the chest, 'but first coffee' but it was warm and so very soft. Touch was a big thing for him now, how things felt were more important than they use to. He dragged the towel over his head once more, his short brown hair sticking up in every direction; he didn't have the energy to fix it. Clint motioned for him to follow him as they made their way down the hall and than down the stairs to the huge kitchen and the sight he saw was strange to say the least. Sam was in the kitchen that was huge and open to the rest of the huge living space talking softly to Tony who was sitting on the stool at the breakfast bar. He saw the clock read 5am which meant he had woken everyone around 3:45am. Christ he felt awful but Clint just nudged him onto the stool next to Stark as Sam hushed a mug of something hot before him. It smelled sweet but not overpowering, he eyed it before he took a tentative sip of the golden liquid. Tea, chamomile and lavender by the taste, with a lot of honey and despite his efforts his heart warmed a bit.

A memory during his pardon trial of him and Sam getting coffee, Sam had cocked a brow when Bucky opted for honey over straight sugar. Bucky thought he might've growled at him to shove it because he liked honey. A lot okay leave him alone. He sipped at the tea that was just a few degrees less than scalding, he kept his eyes down as Sam pushed some dry toast on a plaid checkered plate before him. There was music playing softly I the background he hadn't heard before, the room was peaceful and no one was saying anything and sure he didn't want to talk but he was expecting something. Like for them to just be...overbearing maybe? He didn't know what he expected but to be sitting in a kitchen with Hawkeye, Falcon and Iron Man was not it. Clint and Sam were now talking to each other as they talked about making breakfast for everything because they had the second reception that afternoon at 12 for others to come and say their respects. The quiet was getting to be too much for him, he couldn't handle this anymore. 

"I'm sorry." His own voice sounded even worse to his own ears, raw despite the tea that was delicious. To his shock it was Stark who spoke first, his voice almost deafening in the stillness of the sleeping house.

"What the fuck for?" Stark was so crass it shocked him, he didn't know what to say so he just made a vague gesture. For disturbing them? For screaming most of them awake? For just being a mess? Any of those things would do but he couldn't get them out of his mouth. He just was barely able to look at him, just barely. Stark sighed as soon as he did and pushed his flesh hand through is own hair. The inventor eyeballing the other two in the kitchen but they made no move to say anything. Stark than turned back to look at Bucky and he didn't know if he could handle this anymore. "Look, Barnes I know we haven't had the best of interactions in the past but I thought after our little chit-chat after I got home we would've been past this already so let me say this again, you're aloud to be a mess, all right? It is okay to be angry and hurt and sad because we all are. You think I was okay with the choice he made in the end? Hell no but it was that simple it was his choice and he made it we can't change it even though we may all resent him for it, I think it's more that we miss the bastard." Clint had snorted at that and Bucky had turned to look at him, Clint smiled a sad crooked smile.

"None of us are okay Barnes, none of us okay? Not after everything the last five years have dealt us and you don't have to be okay either, you can't control the nightmares neither can I so why would we blame you for it?" Bucky's mouth hung open at that, this was all so strange to him.

"They're both right ya know? This sucks and we all hate it, loosing someone is never fun we have all lost someone, doesn't make it suck less." That was true but that white hot anger feared its head again as he clenched his jaw almost snarling.

"He was all I had, any normalcy I thought I could have after-..after everything? All of it...its just this...he's gone and that's how...thats how I broke last time." He hadn't meant to say that at loud, hadn't meant to confess his deepest fear to a room of men he had chosen not to get to know. Maybe it was how tired he was, how awful he felt or the soul crushing anguish he felt at the lost that made him say it. He was looking at his metal fist as he opened and closed it with vicious force. "I fought them, for so long I don't know how kong maybe months maybe years? I don't know but I fought and I held on because Steve would've." The room was even more quiet as Bucky couldn't stop the flow of words out of him now. "But they came with paper after paper, telling me he was gone that he was dead and no one was coming for me and I was alone and I didn't believe it at first but...too much time passed, Steve would've found me before that if he was alive or if he thought there was a chance I was alive." Bucky was shaking again and he felt all the eyes on him but he plowed on, his tone more bitter and angry, "I was so alone and if he was gone...I couldn't fight anymore I wouldn't fight and I fell into that darkness and I thought I would never come out of it again." His was clenching his fist so tightly it heard the grind of metal, he jaw tight as all of those emotions roared to the surface. "I died I was gone and...he was left." They all knew who 'he' was, the winter soldier. "Than I came back by some God given grace and I had my best friend back even if it was short lived and...and he left is he left and now he's gone." He hadn't noticed he was freaking out again  until Clint was in his space and forcing him to let go of his fist, Sam on his other side keeping him upright as Stark watched him with this look of understanding. He spoke after a long moment of Sam and Clint getting him to breathe more easily.

"You're scared that with him being gone you're going to be alone and become him again."  It wasn't a question, a fact and that level of understanding coming from someone like Stark? He just nodded and Stark stood and closed the gap and to Bucky's shock he hugged him and Sam hugged him and Clint hugged him and he was done. The scraps he had been holding onto broke apart and he sobbed, open and ugly cries as Stark pulled away and said something he couldn't hear to someone he didn't see. Clint was the one that held on the longest until Bucky's shuddering stopped and he pulled away and  Stark handed him a box of tissues. Bucky mopped his face and looked up and the man and Tony crouched and said lowly.

"Ain't going to happen Sargent, because everyone in this house? Family end of story. You're family now because after Thanos I am too old to care about things that weren't your fault, you aren't alone you understand that? Besides Morgan likes you and she's the best judge of character." Bucky laughed wetly as Clint helped him up, Clint leveling him with a powerful gaze.

"As much as I hate to inflate his ego any more, he's right you're not going t be alone and are never going to be that guy ever again. " Sam nodded in agreement, Bucky was so stunned but he just nodded and Stark patted his shoulder and they went back to it. None of them asked him about his nightmare and by 6:30 the others started filtering in. There was a feast ready bu the time the last of them made their way in, cups of coffee going around. Wanda was sitting next to Pietro who was talking to her in a low tone his their native tongue. She was just as said as the rest of them because Vision hadn't come back. The Barton kids all around and underfoot, Peter had come out with sleepy eyes and Stark had pressed a coffee into the teens hands. Laura and Pepper bright beacons of light among them all. Pepper had even handed Bucky a plate of food and kissed his temple as she did with Peter. It was strange but not unkind, Morgan had come in around 7:30 in Peter's arms as he had gone to get her. She was in her little Captain America pj's and it was too cute. She had also insisted she sit by Bucky because he needed her to, it was that simple.

Bucky looked at Thor and Carol arm wrestling in the corner and the controlled chaos around him and yeah this did look like family. A crazy weird family and that chasm of pain filled a bit. He wouldn't be okay for a while and he would probably be holding Morgan's hand during this dumb wake that they had that afternoon but he would make it. 

***

Or he wouldn't, he was standing at the back wall as crowds of people came in and talked about Steve like they knew him. They hadn't, he had slunk off when people kept tasking him if he was going to pick up the shield. They hadn't seemed to like it when it had been a flat out, 'hell no' to anyone who asked. Steve had given that shield to Sam, end of story. SO here he was with a beer in his hand and avoiding anyone he didn't know, that was until he heard the voice, he groaned on the inside.

"Sargent." Bucky turned and saw the old face of Secretary Ross, the guy was a prick and you could quote him on that. The fat he had the nerve to show his face here was unsettling but the no fighting rule Sam had said rang in his ears as he wanted to punch the guy.

"Mr Secretary."  Bucky's voice just as flat as Ross's tone was, the man had made his view on Bucky very clear. He didn't like him and the feeing was mutual, but Ross was very outspoken about how he felt about Bucky's pardon even though he had helped save the world...again.

"I am shocked you're here didn't think you were allowed out of Brooklyn."  Bucky wanted to bare his teeth, he wasn't on parol. He was allowed to go where he liked as long as he had his call or session with his therapist. 

"I am shocked you thought you would be welcomed here." Bucky couldn't keep the ice out of his tone. Ross narrowed his eyes at him, both men in suits but Ross's was military with all the bright metals. Bucky hadn't been able to put on his old uniform, it hurt too much so he was in a suit that probably cost more than his apartment did that Pepper had hung on his door. It fit well to and he did feel nice though it didn't matter in this moment.

"I am paying my respect to a beloved member of the United States Army, he was a icon for this nation." Bucky rolled his eyes, this was such bullshit. Ross used those as excused to do and act how he liked he didn't care, he was a ass hole.

"The guy you labeled as a traitor and called a man hunt for?" Bucky snapped, Ross's eyes turned into pools of fire as he growled.

"Carful Sargent, I was following the law which the Captain hadn't been at the time." Bucky laughed a spiteful laugh as he took a swig of the beer in his hand.

"Than you never knew him, that was all Steve did, they painted him as this goody-two-shoes but he was a punk who broke the rules more than he followed them, honestly I don't know why you were shocked when he did. He did what he thought was right no matter the cost that was his legacy." He snapped, Ross was pushing all the right buttons and he knew it. Ross smirked as he looked at his fancy glass before he said.

"But not you right Barnes? Because let's be honest if you weren't the Captain's friend you would be locked up and the key thrown away or dead for your crimes, because you Sargent Barnes aren't worth saving." That hit deep, a spot that made Bucky stepped away like he had been shot because those were the words whispered in his ear every night.

'I don't know if I am worth all of this Steve'

"Ross how ya doing man? Fancy seeing you here, nice place right?" Bucky felt the little hand in his before he heard the small voice. Stark was in front of him, blocking Ross's view of him as Morgan in her tiny black dress took his hand in hers. She was glaring daggers at Ross, damn if looks could kill.

"Stark...how nice to see you." Ross's voice was unamused and flat, but it was Morgan who spoke louder than her father.

"You are a bully, be nice to my Uncle Bucky or i'll tell Santa to put you the naughty list." Bucky choked back his laugh at the threat, only a child and damn she had called him Uncle. He would have to do his best to earn that title, but Morgan just yanked his hand and he let her pull him over to the table she had been sitting at with Pepper. She pushed him into a chair and gave him some of her crayons and even shared her coloring book. The look Pepper was giving them was...well he didn't want to think of the kindness in her gaze. He also saw Sam take a picture of the big bag winter soldier coloring with a little girl. He wasn't going to live this down but maybe that was okay. Because he saw Sam and Clint starring Ross down, because he felt like he could almost feel Steve in that moment. Looking down with that proud look he got, as if he could hear him say.

'See, I wouldn't have left if I thought you would be alone' 

His eyes burned, because for the first time in a long time. He wasn't alone and he was okay with that, and prayed his thanks to whoever was listening for this family he had now. Yeah he wasn't okay but he would be someday, and for Steve he wouldn't let this second chance go. So no he wasn't alone, and he was forever James Bucky Barnes. Steve may be gone but no he wasn't alone.

A/N

Hello my lovelies! Been a while I know I am sorry I am trying to be better about posting here but life ya know? So here is a little something I hope you all enjoy so many feels for this one I hope you like it.

May the force be with you all my friends 

Natasha Romonoff