TRIGGER WARNINGS
DESCRIPTIONS OF BLOOD AND INJURY
MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT/ABUSE
DARK-Ish THEMES
MENTIONS OF SEX TRAFFICKING
Enjoy the story  
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Sam knew when he took up the shield it came with a lot of responsibilities. He knew it was more than a shield, it was a beacon, a symbol and even to him it had meant something. Not like everyone else but if he had ever been in a tight scrape those flashing Stars and Stripes meant Steve was coming. Which meant help, which meant hope and so much more.

What Sam hadn't known was what also came with that shield. Not just the uniform, not just the name Captain America, but a 200 pound plus former brainwashed assassin. One that was repeatedly getting on Sam's fraying nerves, Christ on a cracker he thought Steve had been bad. One of the things that Sam had quickly learned about Steve when he had worked with him was that he wasn't the cookie-cutter Boy Scout that everybody made him out to be. That really was just propaganda, Steve was one of the most rebellious and reckless people that Sam has ever met. The man like to get into trouble it's not like you meant to put his strong sense of morale off and sent him flying towards danger. He also didn't like to follow the rules. Contrary to popular belief Steve wasn't a goodie two shoes, honestly he would've thought that would've been pretty evident by the effects of Civil War but you know.

But because of his reckless abandon and caring about what's right Sam had ended up more likely than not in a plastic hospital chair next to a medical bed that held his friend. Now he thought those days were behind them except in the few cases were something did go wrong which things do go wrong from time to time. Sam wasn't an idiot, he knew that things went wrong he was a soldier after all. But what he hadn't been prepared for in the sense of taking on a half cyborg POW was that Barnes had even less self-preservation.

He would send himself flying off of buildings out of planes, off of rooftops into gunfire without a second thought. His rationale was always simply this, 'I knew I could handle it Sam stop fussing' Sam will fuss as much as he wants thank you very much. Plus Bucky gave him plenty of reasons to fuss. But this was the last straw for the new captain America, because Bucky ended up in a hospital bed even more so than Steve it seems. The man over and over said that he didn't want to die, that he did not have a death wish and that he wasn't trying to get himself killed but that was becoming less and less believable in the last month and a half. Where they had been in a hospital or in medical seven times and the only injury that Sam had had was bruises and maybe a cut or two.

Bucky however had had several broken limbs, some cracked ribs, several concussions, too many lacerations to count, some third-degree burns and severe smoke inhalation. But all of that was next to nothing to the stunt that he had pulled and the longer he waited to hear about his condition the more anxiety Sam had. The more anxiety he had the angrier he was getting at how stupid his friend was. But his therapist swore up and down that Bucky wasn't suicidal, he wanted to live despite all that he had been through. But then why was he like this? What was with the flinging off of buildings and the hopelessly jumping in front of bullets? Because honestly this time had really taken the cake.

He always thought that it was comical that it was always the super routine straightforward missions it's always seem to go south so fast. Maybe it was because they were so easy and straightforward that they had a tendency to go south. Maybe it was because the easy missions are easier to predict? Sam wasn't sure all he knew that he was going to smack him silly when he woke up.

It was a sex trafficking bust, a big one, one of the biggest in the last few years and the professionals had called and asked for a little extra help. They had been on a tight schedule and needed the muscle. Bucky had said yes before Sam had been able to get out a yes. It had been awful, Sam wished he could quantify the emotions he had felt going into that place. A deep underground base called a D.U.M.B, which meant Deep Underground Military Base. This one had been abandoned because of the blip and when everyone came back the wrong people got a hold of it. Little girls and boys far too young down there, what had been even worse was Sam had caught Bucky's eye durning the clean out.

Bucky had this thunderous look on his face, one that screamed Winter Solider. The look meant one thing, death and ruin to whoever got in his way. Because Bucky would go to war over and over again if it meant protecting kids. The man was so good with them which was always so shocking to people who met him. Babies quieted are once in his arms, kids ran up to him with no fear and hung off his neck and arms like little spider monkeys. Sam trusted Bucky with his nephews explicitly because of the fact. Bucky would tear the world apart if it meant protecting children. So it wasn't surprising that burned with a new kind of righteous fury in this hell hole.

While the mission had been a pretty quick operation it still spiraled fast. The bad guys hadn't liked being busted surprisingly, they had rigged the place to blow and being that far underground with a cave in was not the ideal situation to be in. Sam has gotten the other soldiers and men out. But not Bucky because the dumb ass had ran into the cave in, because there had been 3 kids still in there. A 14 year old girl, a 8 year old boy and a 9 month baby girl, Sam had found Bucky holding at least 2,000 pounds of ruble off of the kids. He hadn't even know he could hold that much. Maybe he couldn't but he had for those kids, Sam had gotten them out and the ceiling had come down.

It had taken 45 minutes to dig him out, 45 of the longest minutes of Sam's life. He had than been lifted by helicopter to the nearest hospital where Sam had been since. He had be convinced to shower and change but that was about it. It had been 3 days, of him being in life or death conditions. 3 days of surgeries and meds and painkillers and trying to keep him stable. It hadn't looked good, if he hadn't been well him he would've died. But if he will give Bucky anything he will give the fact that the guy was a fighter. Sam had also refused to leave his side once the guy was in the ICU. It had taken all his will power not to go off on the nurses and doctors. Because they didn't understand that if Bucky woke up...when Bucky up. If he didn't have a familiar voice or face there he would start to panic. He would spiral and think he was back at Hydra and Sam wouldn't let him go through that.

So in the end Sam had won that argument because his face had dared them to tell him no. So here he was sitting in a crappy plastic chair with stale old coffee and a book. Bucky was conected to so many tubes and wires it was hard to tell where they ended and Bucky started. He still had that tube down his forcing his lungs to expand and contract. The low hum of the room could've been soothing but the sharp hospital smell deterred any comfort from it. The last fight Sam had fought was them leaving his metal arm alone, Sam wasn't going to have triggers where he could avoid them. Seriously, what were these people thinking did they not understand that this guy had been through hell and back and probably one of the worst ideas on the face of the planet was to remove his arm have him wake up in a strange place in pain drugged up to his eyeballs and without his arm? Oh yeah that was a really great idea. The arm stayed that was it, it wasn't damaged just was dirty and covered in blood. Shuri a while ago had taught him how to run diagnostics to make sure it was running alright. That had been a huge show of trust on Bucky's part because only himself and Shuri had known the ends and out of it up until then.

It was the slight move of Bucky's metal hand that snapped Sam to his prone form. The barest hint of a twitch, Sam stood and was standing over him in seconds. Bucky's neck was in a brace until the neck injury healed all the way and the fact he couldn't move his head would probably cause some confusion. Plus he still had a breathing tube so he didn't want Bucky to freak out and pull something. There was the barest sound of a whimper and Sam laid his hand on the only place that wasn't too hurt and that was the guys belly. Not his whole belly but right below his sternum was one of the few places that had avoided terrible injury. He placed his hand there as gently as he could and spoke softly.

"Buck? Hey it's alright you're safe it's me, it's Sam stay still okay? You're safe I promise." Sam waited on baited breath until he saw the barest scrunch of brows and his eyes to flutter behind his lids. Sam watches this and repeated that Bucky was 'safe' that he was with 'Sam' and that he wasn't with hydra. Bucky's eyes opened in the barest slits, his eyes quickly following the voice and found Sam's eyes. His eyes lost that cloudiness for a second as they landed on him. Panic seemed to be slowly taking over as he realized he couldn't really move, the pain meds he was on were also weren't helping in that front.

"Naw man you're okay I know that tube is uncomfortable but we probably will be able to take that out soon okay? You're safe I promise." Bucky made a choked pained sound but Sam kept coaxing and he finally fell back asleep. He got the doctor and within the next few hours Bucky had at least one less tube. The breathing tube was removed and the small ones that fitted in his nose were there instead. But it was another 26 hours before he woke again. That time wasn't as calm as the last time, Sam had fallen asleep himself when he was awakened by the shrieking of medical equipment. He shot to his feet to see Bucky in a full on panic attack. His eyes were wide and his metal arm was yanking at the cords that bound him. Sam lunges across the room and waved the staff back, if he couldn't get Bucky to calm down someone was going to get hurt.

Sam grabbed Bucky's metal forearm, Sam had learned fast that wrist grabbing wasn't good. Bucky preferred you to grab both of his shoulders or his forearms. That's what people he had known and trusted had done. Hydra grabbed his wrists, his neck and his hair. Sam was quick on the draw to be able to get his forearm because that was enough to shock Bucky back a bit. The man was soaked in sweat and was shaking so bad that it almost wasn't human. His wide blue eyes shooting around in blind panic. He was terrified, Sam didn't have time to think he only had time to act.

"BUCK! Sargent right here, look at me!" Bucky snapped his head so that his blown wide eyes met his, they were clouded with the medication that he was on. He was confused and Sam knew that look, he kept his grip firm and took his injured flesh arm and slowly guided it back across his stomach. Bucky was watching everything he was doing with that powerful stare he had, tracking Sam's every movement. "Easy man you're hurt remember? You are safe, its me Sam okay?"

"Where?" His voice was barely a choked wheeze as Sam eased him back so very slowly, this was the same song and dance as it was every time. He was always confused and it took him a minute to gather himself. While he did Sam eased him back and fixed the cords and wires, it did help he had been pararescue before he had taken to the super hero gig. Bucky wheezed painfully when he righted his hurt arm and set it back in the demobilizing sling it had been in. Sam waved the doctors away, they were going to need a minute before they were going to be able to get anywhere near Bucky. His eyes were still dangerous and deadly, he was in his fight mode ready to clobber anyone who rubbed him the wrong way.

"Saint Peters hospital, you my friend got yourself tore up really good." Bucky's eyebrows scrunched as he lifted his metal hand to the neck brace that Sam had fixed when he had resettled the man. Sam was checking his stomach for bleeding and by some sheer force of luck he hadn't ripped his stitches out. "I am going to kill you, ya know that man?" Bucky made another face, one that screamed annoyed child but Sam didn't care. "What in the hell were you thinking huh?" Bucky's jaw was set, Sam waited he had all night man and he expected an answer.

"Sam-" Bucky's voice was eerily quiet, puffed and winded. He looked like shit for lack of a better word but in this moment Sam didn't care he had almost a weeks worth of grievances to voice.

"Don't 'Sam' me, do you have any idea what you put me through this week with your dumb ass ways?!" Bucky opened his mouth to speak again but Sam held up a finger, his mouth clamped shut as Sam continued. "We are partners Barnes, that's a two way street, we work together end of story. You almost died like eight times this week all because you didn't radio for backup."

"There wasn't time-"

"Bullshit! That's complete bull shit Barnes you could've asked for help and we both know you could have so what's going on? Because I can't trust you in the field if you can't trust me enough to tell me what's going through that thick skull of yours." Bucky had turned his gaze away from Sam, this was another habit of his when he was thinking or overwhelmed. He would turn his gaze away and gather himself, he only did his intense staring thing when he wasn't thinking. Sam watched him closely, his flesh fingers were twitching in his sling, he couldn't move his head so he had just tuned his eyes away. He had that pinched look Steve had always gotten when he was trying to hide how much he was hurting. Either by his injuries or whatever mental war he was fighting.

"I had to save those kids..." His voice was soft and choked sounding, Sam pulled his chair over so he could listen, he didn't speak he just let Bucky take the time he needed to get his thoughts out. "I could've called but I knew I could get to them even if...even if I got beat up on the way."

"Okay." Sam said as Bucky still wasn't looking at him, there was something else was bothering him, he was going to let him take this at his own pace. That is what a good friend does, Bucky wasn't this open book guy. He was reserved and private guy who had been through enough it was reasonable for him to be that way. This was progress for him, this was him saying what he was thinking and Sam would chuck himself off a roof before he rushed Barnes through this. If he did Sarah would find out and she would probably kill him for it, she would be the one to throw him off the roof.

"I don't want to die Sam." Bucky's tone was defensive, everyone often assumed so much about the guy. Sam saw when people did how it made the man get stiffer then a marble block. Once when he had come to visit them in Louisiana Sarah Sam and Bucky had gone to the town over to get some things for dinner. There had been this older guy in the store that had run his mouth, saying all kinds of awful things to Bucky and about him as if he wasn't there. It had pissed Sam off, he had politely chewed the guy out when he had heard Sarah say in a soft sharp voice.

'Sam'

He had turned to see his sister with a hand on Bucky's lower back, through he whole thing he had not said a single thing about was the jerk was saying. He had stood there and took it, his back was to Sam and the guy as he was putting canned beans in their cart. He was that scary stiff again as Sarah kept her hand on his lower back moving only in small grounding motions. They had left not long after that all Bucky had said was, 'People assume, I'm used to it at this point' he needed to assure Bucky he wasn't assume his motives, he just wanted to know where his head was at.

"I know, I know you don't man, I just want to know what the line of thought was. Help me understand." Bucky finally looked at him and the storm of emotions on his face was shell shocking, the raw openness in his expression hit Sam like a white hot iron.

"Because I have to be useful Sam, because I can't not be useful." Useful? Where was this coming from? What did being useful have to do with any of this?

"Useful? Buck you need to help me out here I don't understand." Bucky looked defeated as he spoke again.

"When Steve was small, I protected him and kept him safe...than he showed up and he was different he had changed. He didn't need me to protect him anymore like I used to so I found a new way. I hated sniper work but I could still protect him that way...than hydra happened..."Sam was starting to get a picture, Bucky was a protector in nature. Thats who he was as a person, of he gave a shit out you he was going to protect you with all he had. But where was this going?

"Now, Steve is gone and I am broken everyone loves to tell me how fucked in the head I am. People walk on eggshells around me and get it after all I have done. I get why people are scared of me so...I needed to do it myself, if I can't do things by myself than what good am I?" Bingo there it was, this need to prove himself because if he wasn't useful then why would someone keep him around? Sam huffed and pulled his chair closer and tapped Barnes' leg gently forcing the man to look at him.

"Anything else?"

"No, that about covers it." Sam gathered himself, don't be angry Willson be level headed you aren't mad at him.

"Okay then, Barnes you need to stop letting other peoples opinion of you dictate your life-nope I am not done yet keep your mouth shut. Look people are going to think and say and do all kinds of things about you. But here is the truth of the matter they don't know you. None of those shitty people know you at all. Now that is out of the way you can't pull a stunt like this, we have a dangerous job and if I can't trust you to talk to me man it is going to get one of us killed and this time it was almost you." That made Bucky look guilty, ah shit fix this Willson, "You don't need to be useful to be my friend Barnes, that isn't how friendship works and yes you are a huge pain in my ass but Sarah and the boys will kill me if I get rid of you now so sorry man you are stuck with me." Bucky smiles at that, soft and genuine at the mention of the boys and Sarah. Christ on a cracker this guy was a sap, but his lids were drooping and Sam knew it was time for him to sleep. He grabbed the huge blanket he had bought at the Walmart down the road and pulled it over Bucky, he grunted something but Sam ignored it as Bucky fell asleep.

Now maybe they could both get some rest.

***

"I said I could do it."

"And the doctor said you can't so tough."

"I am not glass Willson."

"Didn't say you were but the only reason they let you out early is because of my medical training and the strict orders you are going to follow got it?"

It was a few days later and Bucky had made huge leaps in his recovery but with those leaps came Bucky being determined to get out of said hospital. Again, Sam understood why he didn't like them either but him being so close to his brush with death was enough to give him pause. But Bucky had kicked up such a fuss about it that Sam cracked, but it had conditions which Barnes was going to follow end of story. SO here they were outside Sarah's house with the boys dragging their bags inside after what had easily must have been strict orders from their mom not to overwhelm Bucky and not to hurt him. Bucky was in the passenger seat with that stubborn glint in his eyes that no he did not want Sam's help getting up and out of the car and into the house. They say choose your battles and Sam and picked up his metaphorical sword for this one because he was not dropping it or backing down from this one.

Bucky could stand on his own now but he had a heavy limp and it tuckered him out because his body was in overdrive to heal him. His flesh arm was still in a sling and he had his back all bound with the burn cream and his ribs tied just as tight. In short he was still a mess and he still was recovering from his collapsed lung and Sam would be damned if he would let him walk by himself. But it was Sarah who got him to see reason, she shouted from the doorway, her voice left no room for any rebuttal.

"James Barnes, stow your pride and let Sam help you. There isn't any shame in needing help, get in here before I grow old." Sam laughed and Bucky huffed but he let Sam pull his metal arm around his shoulders and slowly pull him up on the count of three. Bucky groaned as he was pulled up his face pinched as he panted. Guy was hurting even if he wouldn't say so, it took forever to get up the stairs and Sarah ended up coming down to help them up the porch steps into the house. Sam was pointed to the guest room that had quickly become Bucky's room, it even had a quilt from Mrs. Peters down the road that she had made. Everyone here at least adored Bucky.

"Ahh" Bucky said in a huff under his breath as Sam eased him onto the bed, Sarah was there with a pillow for his leg and some ice and heating packs. Bucky only gripped a bit as Sarah and Sam fussed over him. He was soon slightly propped up to make sure he breathed okay and his blanket was laid over him. His eyes again drooping as Sam squeezed his shoulder gently, his eyes fluttered a bit looking over at him.

"Get some sleep man, that big stupid brain of yours needs it." Sarah smacked him which made Bucky grin, Sam had stepped to the door but he didn't miss his sister smooth the soldiers hair. Running her fingers through it as the most serene look went over his face, like he felt true peace. He nearly gagged when she bent down and kissed his forehead but the fact that Barnes' ears and neck burned redder than the Iron man suit well. He would let it slide.

It wasn't perfect, none of them were but this...this crazy shit was family.

Maybe that is what came with the shield, a big grumpy brother he hadn't wanted but turns out they both needed.

How about that?

A/N

Damn I am cranking stuff out right now, I hope you all like this because I adored writing it. Bucky is my favorite and I adore writing about him.

Sam and his friendship is one of my fav things ever and putting in on paper always brings me such joy.

No I would like to take a moment to talk about something that has always been incredibly important to me and that is for people to be aware of the impact of sex trafficking in our world today but was in my own country and everywhere else. But moreover the impact of child sex trafficking it is absolutely despicable and it is something that breaks my heart every time so please everyone be mindful of your watchful educate yourself and learn how to tell the signs in the situation of where a child might be at risk and that you might be able to do something to help.

As always my beautiful people this is

Natasha Romonoff

Aka

TheRealBlackWidow