Tony had fallen into a routine that wasn't at all healthy and yet he continued to dig himself deeper into a hole he couldn't possibly get out of.

Work, drink, sleep.

Not necessarily in that order.

The breakup had definitely taken a toll on him and he felt like complete shit for hurting the woman he had loved. The woman he was still in love with, so much in love with that it hurt just thinking about the betrayed expression on your face when you caught him with the...the other woman. The other woman he couldn't even remember.

He'd drowned his sorrows in lethal amounts of alcohol that had the effect of either knocking him unconscious or sending him into a murderous rage that left furniture and lab equipment smashed and broken to pieces. The team was giving him some space and although they reached out to you, they'd received a polite but stiff request to please leave you alone after you quit.

Wanda, whom you'd grown close to, was aggravated at your absence and when she realized that Tony wasn't getting any better, she thought she'd pay you a visit. Until the day Tony, smelling like he'd invaded a bar, stumbled into the kitchen and right into Natasha, making her spill hot coffee all over herself.

Wanda knew she'd have to talk to you fast before there was no Tony to make up with.

She knew you didn't want to be bothered at your home, so she invited you out for lunch.

Step one.

—————

"What the hell is he doing here?"

Tony winced at the loud sound of your voice as it gave him a splitting headache and he laid his forehead on the cool marble tabletop.

Wanda gave you an innocent smile.

"He wanted to come out. It's...been awhile since he left the Tower." Wanda explained.

You gave her a cold look.

"I don't care."

"Fine. Then can we eat? Cause I'm starving. The blonde I had over last night gave me some strong stuff and I'm dying for a burger." Tony said, sitting up. His drunken behavior seemed to lessen as his eyes met yours and you puckered your lips sourly with a fleeting thought.

You don't smoke.

Wanda looked at him, confused.

"What bl—"

"Actually, I think I'll have waffles." He interrupted her loudly. "Does waffles sound good, Y/N?"

You clenched your fists and quickly stood up.

"I don't know what's going on, but I'm not gonna sit here and take your shit, Stark."

Sensing disaster, Wanda grabbed your wrist with a pleading look on her face. Instead of saying anything, she led you to the bathroom, avoiding the accusing look that Tony was giving her.

"Y/N," Wanda bit her lip as you entered the bathroom behind her, "he's a mess."

"He's not my mess anymore. Tell his whores to help him sort out his life."

"Y/N. He didn't have anyone over last night. He hasn't since you broke up with him." Wanda said slowly. Despite the fact that you were still angry at her for bringing him along, you felt the smallest spark of satisfaction. Not only did that mean he was trying to save face, but maybe he still did care for you.

If he had, he wouldn't have done what he did.

"Wanda, I trusted him. How can I—"

She lifted a hand to stop you.

"I know this is the last thing you want, but it's not me you should be talking to." At the look on your face, she bowed her in repentance. "I know it's none of my business, but I care for the both of you. I'm so sorry for forcing your hand and I hope you'll forgive me for this, but please. Natasha might kill him." She added jokingly, a grin tugging at the corner of your mouth.

You sighed loudly and ran your hands down your face.

You suddenly seemed so nervous.

You hadn't seen Tony since the day you caught him with another woman and that was four months ago.

Of course you were nervous.

"I'll be waiting outside." Wanda said, moving towards the door. "Talk it out. It's not ideal, but try. It'll be good...for the both of you. I know you're just as torn up as he is."

And with that, she was gone, leaving you to sit across a hungover Tony Stark that could barely meet your eyes. You were silent and so was he. When the food came, neither of you said anything or touched the plates of steaming hot waffles.

"Y/N."

You looked at him.

His eyes were ringed with dark circles and you could see the lines of exhaustion settling on his face. Stubble covering his lower jaw made him look ragged and unclean, the graying hoodie and sweats he had on helping in absolutely no way at all. Tony Stark would rather be beaten than go out in public looking anything less than well-groomed.

But, this wasn't the Tony you knew.

This was someone who had punished himself over and over for something he knew he'd done wrong and it was breaking him.

It was breaking you just seeing Tony like that.

You pushed your chair back with the intent to stand up, a muttered, "I can't do this" making him panic and reach out to you.

"Please, Y/N. Don't leave." He begged.

Every single drop of pride in your blood was aching to walk out and leave him as the wrecked mess he was.

He did this to himself, was the firm thought that ran through your head.

But, you still loved him.

You pretended that you'd moved on and that you hadn't cried yourself to sleep over him, trying to get him out of your head.

How could you forget your first love?

"Y/N," Tony started as you made no move to leave, "I'm sorry. You don't know how sorry I am that I did this to you. I just...I don't know...what I was thinking."

"Obviously." You rolled your eyes.

"I love you."

The sudden proclamation, no matter how late it might have been, still sent electrifying jolts down your spine and you had to cough to compose yourself.

"Tony—"

"No, let me finish." He urged, leaning forward.

"I—I don't know if you'll still want me after this, but I have to try, right? I have to. Y/N, I love you. And I know that what I did might have been unforgivable, but that doesn't mean I won't wait until you start loving me again. We can start as friends, start from scratch. You might not end up falling for me, you might hate me for the rest of your life. But, it'll be worth the try. You...will always be worth it."

Explain how you feel.

"...I wish I could trust you. I really do."

When you got up and left, he didn't blame you.

But, that didn't stop him from sinking all over again.

———————-

"Hey, Stark."

Steve cautiously greeted his friend as he entered the lab, observing that Tony was hard at work on one of his cars. When he lifted his welding helmet, Steve started in surprise. Tony's beard that he was impressively famous for was back in its well cared-for condition, a loose smirk on his face and his eyes bright with sobriety of the kind that Steve had greatly missed.

"What's up, Spangles?" Tony called.

He lifted himself from the engine of one of his cars and wiped the black grease off of his hands before walking over to Steve.

"You...you look—"

"Human? I know."

Steve chuckled and clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"So that's what you've been doin' the past week. Cleaning up, huh?"

Tony shrugged.

"Bout time I did something about the state I was in. I mean, JARVIS was pretending not to recognize me so it got that bad."

"You're back with Y/N?"

Tony shook his head, a flash of sadness in his eyes before it disappeared.

"The stunt Little Miss Maximoff pulled on us didn't work out the way I hoped it would, but it gave me...a chance to properly apologize." He sighed and leaned against his work table. "I just hope she's doing alright. Moving on with her life, ya know?"

Steve's eyes darted over to the door and he licked his lips nervously.

"You hoping she moved on?"

"I mean, yeah. I don't want her dwelling on the nasty situation I got us in."

"Are you sure?"

"Uh, I'm 100% positive."

"100%?"

"You've got some nerve questioning my math, Rogers."

"He's asking," Tony froze, "because I haven't."

You walked through the door with a smile on your face as Steve slipped out of the lab, leaving you two to your business.

"Y/N."

"Steve called. He pretty much sucks at deliverance, doesn't he?"

"I'd say so."

"I didn't come here to give you a whole speech." You wrinkled your nose. "You know I hate speeches."

"That's one thing we have in common." Tony tried to say in a snarky voice but his excitement in having you near made him sound more breathless than anything.

You were still too far.

In a flash, Tony was right in front of you, mere inches from closing the distance, but knowing better than to do so without your consent.

"What are you doing here?"

You shrugged.

"I thought about what you said. About waiting for me to fall back in love with you. About me being worth it. So, I'm gonna ask you a question." You said softly, your eyes focused solely on his. He gently grabbed your hands and you let him. You took a small breath, a jittery feeling traveling through your system.

"If I trust you with my heart...one more time...do you promise not to break it?" You whispered, biting your bottom lip nervously.

Tony took your right hand and laid it over his chest, the ridges of his arc reactor pressing lightly into your skin as he bent his head closer. What he did in the past he couldn't fix, but what he had right in front of him was a way to make sure he'd never make the same mistake again.

And that was to love you for the rest of his life and with all of his heart, you and only you.

There was no question about it.
You were in love with Tony Stark.
You always have been.

"Only if you promise not to break mines."

"Tony—"

"I promise. I do."

You bit your lip, amused.

"If you bite your lip one more time, I'm gonna do it for you."

"Who's stoppin' you?"

He moved to envelop your lips in a slow and languid kiss, relishing the familiar taste of you, his hands tracing the curves of your body he'd memorized from so long ago as you wound your arms around your neck.

The long months of empty arms and a broken heart had definitely done a number on the both of you and you had to pull yourself away a little forcefully from a reluctant Tony.

"I missed you, sweetheart."

You smiled and hugged him, snuggling your face in the crook of his neck and pressing a kiss against the soft flesh.

"I missed you too, Tony."

———————

tony stark...

thank you for coming to my ted talk.

buuuut, on a side note which i probably should
have posted in the first place, i do not condone cheating.
i understand that many of you may have differing opinions to this, but i wrote this based solely off of the many requests i received in my pm's from my readers. i welcome anyone's opinion so let me know what you think and if you want to see a change to this one-shot, i'll gladly make it.