Word Count: 1431

Warnings: Endgame spoilers of course with some slight inspo from the first Avengers movie. Also has some platonic!Clint x reader

"I used to have nothing. Then I got this. This job... this family. And I was... I was better because of it. And even though... they're gone... I'm still trying to be better."

You hit the punching bag with force, the voice of Nat haunting your mind. You remembered her tearful confession to you and Steve, five years following the Snap.

"We found something. A chance- maybe..."

You remembered hearing the hope in her voice, hope that this "Time Heist" would work and hope that Clint would end his vigilante ways and rejoin the Avengers after he had lost his entire family in the Snap.

"See is you in a minute."

You remembered her smirk and the kiss she blew you as you prepared to time travel. God, how you wished that were true.

"Whatever it takes."

You remembered the motto Steve had said before the mission began, a motto she repeated when the three of you realized that someone would have to sacrifice themselves.

"If we don't get that stone, billions of people stay dead."

You remembered the feeling of dread in your stomach when you realized Nat was the one that was going to sacrifice herself. You remember the three of you fighting over the sacrifice play, but she had shocked you, disabling you from getting up off the ground, mouthing the words "I'm sorry," and you remembered her and Clint both jumping off the side of the cliff.

"Let me go...it's okay. Tell Y/N I love her. Always and Forever."

You remembered hearing her voice one last time as she urged Clint to let her go and her last I love you to you.

The bag you were punching flew across the room. Your knuckles were sore and bloody and you felt hot tears streaming down your eyes.

"Trouble sleeping?"

A male voice echoed in the empty gym. You looked up and saw Clint wearing all black, leaning against the door frame.

"I guess you could say that," you sighed as you picked up the punching bag and put it away. "What are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep either," he admitted as he walked towards you, grabbing a first aid kit on the way. "Kept thinking about Nat because it should've been me," he said, his voice faltering. "Let me help you," he said, gesturing to your hands. You sighed again as he began to unwrap your bandages.

"Why'd it have to be her, Clint?" You whispered, new tears threatening to fall. "Why'd we have to lose her?"

"I don't know Y/N," he responded. "But I know she wouldn't want us to mope." He pulled you up to your feet. "Let's get you to bed. The funeral's tomorrow." You simply nodded.

Once Clint had left after making sure you were comfortable, you sank into your bed, clutching her pillow. As you breathed in her familiar scent, you recalled the first time you met her.

10 YEARS AGO

You were a nervous wreck. It was your first day as a field agent for SHIELD and you had managed to get yourself lost. You had excelled at the training and the tests you had to take but your nerves had gotten the best you and now you were going to be late on your first mission. Frustrated, you ran into the nearest bathroom as an attempt to calm yourself.

"Agent L/N?" A feminine voice spoke from behind you. You whirled around, becoming face to face with the famous (and really beautiful in your opinion) Black Widow. All you could do was gape in awe.

"Are you Agent L/N?" She asked you, with one eyebrow raised.

"Y-yes I am. I am Agent Y/N?" you managed to squeak out.

"You're supposed to be with me. The quinjet leaves in five minutes."

"Y-yes ma'am," you stuttered.

"Nervous L/N?"  She asked softly as she studied you.

You nodded. "It's my first mission and I don't want to mess up, especially since I'm with you," you admitted.

"With me?"

"Yeah, you're just so badass. You're the one that inspired me to work for SHIELD after the Battle of New York."

She gave you a cute little smile and squeezed your shoulder.

"I'd love to stay and chat but we've got mission to go on. But I'd love to take you out sometime and get to know you," she offered.

"I'd love to!" you said a little to excitedly.

"Then it's a date."

PRESENT

When you woke up in the morning, you laid in your bed, not wanting to move. There were still dried tears on your face as you tried to push the nightmares that had occurred away.

"Y/N?"

You heard Clint outside your door. You didn't move a muscle.

"Y/N, I know you're in there."

You still refused to answer. You heard the door open as Clint let himself in.

"Why aren't you ready? The funeral begins in half an hour?" He questioned you.

"I can't do it Clint," you whimpered.

"Sweetie, you have to go," he insisted.

"I can't face the fact that she's actually gone, okay?" You lamented. "I keep hoping that giving the soul stone back would somehow bring her back, but this, this funeral or memorial or whatever they're calling it, it just confirms that she's actually gone. She's gone and she's never coming back."

You heard Clint's footsteps come nearer and you felt the bed sink beneath his weight as he sat on it and placed a gentle hand on your shoulder.

"Listen, Y/N. We're all missing her. We all loved her. And I know she loved you the most. But you can't keep dwelling on the fact that she's gone, okay? You gotta celebrate the moments she was alive and with you. And I know if the tables were turned, she wouldn't skip your funeral. She'd make damn sure that you were remembered. So get dressed, get yourself down there and make sure she's remembered."

You sat up and he wrapped you in a tight hug.

"Thank you, Clint," you whispered in his ear. "I will."

When you got down to the lake where the funeral was, you placed her silver arrow necklace on her grave stone. Even though there was no body to bury, you and Clint had filled a box with all her favorite belongings and buried it with a beautiful engraved slab on top.

You were surprised at the amount of people who had shown up. Almost everyone who had gone to Tony's funeral had showed up here.

Clint went up to give a touching eulogy to his best friend and Bruce followed. Soon, it was your turn.

"I remember the first time I met Natasha Alianova Romanoff. It was ten years ago. I was just a naive little SHIELD agent. She made sure I was comfortable and ready. She was there for me when no one else was. That was her thing. She was always there for you. Even if it was in the littlest ways. You could count on Nat.

I remember my first date with her. It was at this little cafe, near the shawarma place. I knew she was the one after that date. Being with her made me a better person. She made me happier. She made me more confident. She made me believe I could do anything. Without her, I wouldn't be the woman I am today. She was my inspiration. My guide. My muse. My best friend. My wife.

Natasha sacrificed herself not knowing that our plan would work. She sacrificed herself to save billions of people. She sacrificed herself for the world and I can't thank her enough for that. It hurts as hell to knowing that she isn't here with us anymore. But I know she's looking down at us right now and smiling. I know her and Tony are probably up to no good, wherever they are. I know she'll always be with me in some way.
And I know the whole world will remember the sacrifice she made for us to be here.

The last words she said were "Tell Y/N I love her. Always and Forever."

Natasha Alianova Romanoff, I will never forget you. I'll never forget your smile, your infectious laugh, or the twinkle in your eye when we're surrounded by our loved ones. I love you Nat. Always and forever."