Tony: Why do you look like that?
Blake, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?
Tony: Like you're dead.
Blake: It's because I'm dying. Leave me here to perish.
Clint: Blake accidentally called Natasha "babe" in front of everyone today.
Blake: *sobs into the floor*

—

Blake: This food is too hot... I cant eat it.
Natasha: You're very hot, and I still eat you.
Everyone at the table: *silence*
Tony: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!
Clint: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

—

Natasha: Valentine's day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
Blake: I wrote you a poem.
Natasha, already crying: You did?

—

Natasha: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.
Blake: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.
Natasha: I said within reason, Blake. How about I murder that guy?
Blake: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?
Natasha: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

—

Blake: Hey, Natasha, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?
Natasha: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.
Blake: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?
Natasha: Can't really say I have.
Blake: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.
Natasha: Sorry, Blake. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

—

Blake: Are we fighting or flirting?
Natasha: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-
Blake: Your point?

—

Natasha: I'm proud to identify as morosexual. I'm attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight.
Blake: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?
Natasha, already taking off her clothes: God, Blake, you're so fucking stupid.

—

Natasha: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!
Blake: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way?
Natasha: I don't know, surprise me!