My stomach churned with nerves.

Grandad peered behind him through the rear-view mirror and the side mirrors before I met his concerned gaze through the windshield. He could never hide his emotions, and this was definitely anger. Or fear. Or both.

Uh-oh! This is gonna be bad.

Don't worry. Just play it casual. No big deal.

It doesn't have to turn into an argument.

I opened the passenger side door, tossed my bag on the floor, and hopped in. "Hi! Sorry I'm late."

"Late was fifteen minutes ago," said Grandad in a firm tone. "Where were you?"

"I—I—I had to discuss something with my French teacher," I said, my heart pounding.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, really!" I said, a bit snottier than I'd intended.

Oh, well. Too late now.

Grandad's harsh glare shrank me about fifty sizes until I could have crawled inside the dashboard. And I wished I could have done so.

"Don't you take that tone of voice with me, young lady!" he growled. "What the hell takes half an hour to discuss?"

"Madame Waters wants me to tutor a student," I said, my head held high.

"Oh, really? And who is this student?" he asked. "Could it be Mr. H-She?"

"Grandad!"

"Is it?"

Heaving a resigned sigh, I leaned against the window. Refusing to look him in the eye. Clenching my jaw in anger. It wasn't fair! Never once had I broken their rules, and they always acted like I was some kind of common criminal ready to throw my virginity to the wind.

What in the actual frack, man? If I wanted to do that, I'd have done it already.

I was tutoring people, not screwing them. I never wanted to screw them!

Why didn't they get that?

In some ways, I wish I did want to boink a dude. At least then I'd be freaking normal rather than just a freak.

Ugh!

"Am I talking to myself here?" snarled Grandad.

Danger, Will Robinson.

Grandad flipping his lid wasn't a pleasant sight. He never got violent, but he got loud. Really loud. Mom called him Teddy Bear for a reason. Most of the time, he was sweet as a teddy, but sometimes he did act like a freaking bear. No holds barred. Dukes up.

With all the verbal rage of a Spartan warrior.

The problem was: I had fiery blood too. So we loved each other fiercely and fought even fiercer.

"No, you're not talking to yourself here," I answered in a caustic tone. "Unfortunately."

"Jessica Maria Sophia Perez!" he shouted. "I've had just about enough of your sass!"

Jessica?! Are you fucking kidding me?

My blood pressure shot through the goddamn roof.

"Don't call me Jessica!"

"Then don't act saucy with me." He gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. "I had to put up with enough crap from your grandmother today. Not you too!"

I huffed and crossed my arms. "Maybe you deserved it."

As soon as it was safe, Grandad pulled over to the soft shoulder and jammed the car into park. "What the hell is wrong with you today?" he roared.

"I had the chance to tutor someone for money," I cried. "Actual freaking money of my own so I wouldn't have to come crawling to you guys every five seconds."

He balked.

"Because people actually respect me at that school and know what I can do," I shouted. "But I won't be able to do it, will I? Hell no! And why, do you ask? Well, let me explain it to you."

"Jeeess—" he growled, elongating the E as he always did when he was at the end of his patience.

"Because he's a guy." I crossed my arms. "I mean who cares what his stupid gender is? I mean really. He's just a kid who needs help with French. But you'll never say yes."

Grandad pursed his lips.

"Because he has other...parts going on down there. As if that mattered to me at all!"

I threw my arms up in the air. Yeah, I got dramatic when angry.

So sue me.

"I don't like guys like that okay?" I shook my head. "I want something impressive to put on my college applications. But you guys are so darned strict that I don't even—"

"Can I talk now?" asked Grandad in a gruff voice. "Or are you just going to keep carrying on?"

"I am going to keep carrying on!" My throat clenched as my eyes began to well up. "I never have any freedom to choose. At all!"

"Your grandmother lectured me today about going too easy on you while you say I'm too strict." Grandad shook his head. "What the hell?"

My heart clenched and I sank into the seat. Mom could be a royal pain in the ass. I could imagine her giving him hell. What did I do this time? What mistake could I have possibly made?

My daily routine went as follows: go to school, tutor some kids, do homework, make up stories in my bedroom, dance for a bit of exercise, listen to music with headphones, read, and go to bed.

My only unconventional hobby? Writing to pen pals in foreign countries to learn more languages. Oh, and playing Nintendo or PC games.

What the hell was the problem?

"Can't you see we worry about you?" he asked. "You hear the news every night. Kids getting kidnapped or raped."

"That's not gonna happen," I insisted. "I never do anything risky. At all. Ever."

"You've been hurt enough already. I'd kill anyone who hurt you. Do you understand?"

I swallowed audibly and nodded.

"Jess..." Grandad sighed. "Don't take this the wrong way, but sometimes I worry you're a bit naïve. You always have the best intentions, so you think that others do too."

"He's not like that."

Grandad closed his eyes as though to gather his calm. "If every criminal looked like one, we wouldn't have a problem."

"He's not a criminal, Grandad!"

"Why is he so keen to pay you, huh? Where does he get the money?"

I shrugged.

"Exactly! I'm shrugging too."

"Don't worry," I grumbled. "I'm not taking any money from him."

"What?"

"I refused to let him pay me. So I'm tutoring him for free."

Grandad stared up at the heavens as though asking God for extra strength. "What's going on? I want the full story. Now."

"Nothing is happening until Mom and you give me the go-ahead." I frowned. "But the plan would be that I'd tutor him twice a week for five weeks."

"Where?"

"At the school. Either Madame Water's classroom or the guidance counselor's office."

"Will you be alone with him?" asked Grandad pointedly over the rims of his glasses, his eyes still smoldering with anger.

"No, there's always someone there."

"Are you sure?" he insisted. "You're not just telling me that?"

"For God's sake, Grandad!"

"Watch your tone."

"Sorry." I exhaled a slow breath. "We aren't allowed to hang around without supervision."

"What do you propose I tell your grandmother?" he asked with a generous dose of sarcasm. "I'm sure she'll be thrilled to hear that you're tutoring a young man."

"Can't we avoid the topic of gender entirely?"

"You're kidding, right?"

My shoulders slumped. "Yeah, it'll probably be the first question out of her mouth."

"Exactly."

I sighed. "You could tell her that Madame Waters told me to. That she's supervising us."

"So you're gonna throw your favorite teacher under the bus?" he asked, incredulous. "You do realize your grandmother will call the school and ask her if that's true?"

"She's crazy!"

"How much do you like this kid?" he asked with a grimace. "Enough to lie?"

My throat clenched. "No, you're right. That wouldn't be fair."

"Right."

"We'll have to tell Mom the truth."

"And...she'll say no."

"Maybe we shouldn't tell her anything?" I asked with a hopeful expression.

"Your grandmother has a sixth sense about anything amiss," said Grandad. "Mostly because neither one of us can lie worth a damn."

I groaned. "Come on, there's gotta be some way out of this!"

"Sure," he said with a thoughtful frown. "You turn eighteen, and you do what you want. Within reason."

"I hate her so much," I growled under my breath.

"Oh, yeah?" Grandad scoffed. "You didn't have to listen for hours as she complained about every little thing. The electricity bill, your video game habit, my stupid weight..."

"Do we have money trouble?" I asked in a concerned voice.

"You let me worry about that." He wrung the leather on the steering wheel. "I've asked a headhunter to find me some contractual engineering work. Already have some excellent prospects."

"Congratulations!"

"Thanks," he said, giving me a half-smile. "Just make sure you keep your grades up, young lady. You hear me? You don't wanna end up like Chuck, earning a quarter of what I do."

I nodded.

"A smart lady like you has to go to college," he said. "But you need a scholarship for that. It costs a fortune nowadays."

"I know."

He sighed. "Back when I was working full-time for General Electric and NASA, I made fifty grand a year. It'd be seventy or eighty now, maybe more. But our options are limited..."

"I'll pay my way through college," I said. "I'll get a scholarship even if it's at a state school."

He paused. "I know you'll make it happen. You're a bright kid."

"Don't worry." I gave him a smile. "I got good news, by the way."

"What's that?"

"I got an A in Religion, an A in French, and an A- in English."

"Good girl! I'm proud of you." He turned to face me. "Hug?"

I reached out and he pulled me into his arms, giving me a gruff embrace, a giant teddy bear once more. I felt bad about lashing out at him like that. He didn't deserve it one bit.

"Sorry, Grandad," I muttered into his chest. "I didn't mean to get so mad. It's just so frustrating sometimes."

"It's okay, kid." He gave me a rough pat on the back and broke the hug in order to start the engine again. "I'm sorry too."

"It's cool."

I mean, here I am complaining about Mom, but she's my guardian. Grandad's gotta put up with her twenty-four seven.

Perhaps I had it kinda easy.

When we got home, I raced up the stairs and into the foyer. Our cat Tabitha waited on the landing for me with her tail up in the air, greeting me with a loud meow as she always did.

She made me smile when not much else could. Walking into the spacious kitchen, I gave her a small treat from the cupboard, petting her fluffy Maine Coon fur.

"Hi, dear!" Mom entered the room and gave me a giant hug. "How was school?"

"Fine."

"It doesn't sound fine," she said with a furrowed brow. "What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, dear." She gave me a reassuring arm pat. "You can tell me."

"I'm tired," I said in a weary voice that I didn't have to fake. Fighting stressed me out and made me exhausted. "I need to rest before I start my homework."

"That's fine." Mom pursed her lips. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

Yeah, no. I really can't.

Plastering a smile on my face, I replied, "Of course, Mom."

"I made you your favorite," said Mom, taking a hot casserole dish out of the oven. "Tuna pasta bake. With the cracker crumb topping."

"Aw, no way!" I said with a genuine grin. "I love that so much!" I breathed in the delicious scent of cream of mushroom soup with a hint of tuna. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, dear." She gave me another hug. "You go have a little lie-down and then afterward you can have some dinner. I've already washed and ironed your clothes."

"Thanks, Mom. You're the best."

Now I felt guilty about hating her. Well, I didn't hate her. Not really. Her old-fashioned ideas frustrated the hell out of me sometimes, that was all. If only she could understand.

Why did she assume what I wanted?

I stripped off my uniform and tossed it onto my wicker chair. After slipping into some comfy pajamas, I flopped on the bed. A room full of white. Like a mental institution. From the Battenburg lace curtains to the walls and the rug. Not that I cared about stuff like that.

As my guardian, she must have felt the obligation to protect my purity. All my life people assumed my sexuality like she did. Even from the youngest possible age.

Because sex is everywhere, my conscience added with a sigh.

Once a boy had asked me to be his girlfriend at the age of nine. I'd asked him whether he'd meant a girl who was a friend or a girlfriend? We agreed to be friends.

Go figure! What the hell was up with that? Nine?!

Jesus, keep it in your pants.

Even at that tender age, I'd avoided all that other nonsense. God, I'd known when everyone wanted to play House at the age of four, and I'd found the game boring.

Who do you want to marry? they'd ask.

No one.

Another classic: At the age of eight, my mother had demanded children from me because she wanted to be a grandmother.

Like, no. Just no.

Then the boy band phase at school. New Kids on the Block. Jesus Murphy, the kids wouldn't shut up about them. Always asking me which guy was the hottest.

Not whether I'd found one of them hot. Which one. A presumption of sexuality before the discussion had even started.

After puberty the real fun had begun. People would ask each other out left, right, and center. I told people I wanted to be a nun because I didn't understand what to call...this.

I still didn't.

In reality, I didn't want to be a nun. My family had told me that joining a convent meant becoming a part of a family you could never leave. A community. One in which some random Boss Lady would give the orders to a bunch of minions.

Not that they'd phrased it that way, of course.

Yeah, not for me. I controlled my own destiny, thank you very much.

Later I'd learned I didn't need to be a nun in order to lead a single life, I'd opted for crazy cat lady instead. But I didn't want to be alone. That was the kicker.

I wanted a man to love me for me. Without the whole damn sex thing a part of the equation.

If only men didn't demand stupid sex all the time. It bored me to death! What was the big deal? Bouncing up and down on someone's rod with the risk of impregnating myself?

No thanks.

If men could be rational for five minutes and not think about sex all the time, I wouldn't have to justify teaching Eric some French for an hour twice a week.

Fuck a duck!

Tabitha meowed at the door, insisting that I let her in. She jumped up on the bed and began kneading my white comforter before curling up in a little fluffy ball by my feet.

With a mountain of homework and an English essay due tomorrow, it was gonna be a long night. I didn't have the strength to argue with both of my grandparents in one day.

Besides, it would be a kick in the teeth to fight with Mom after all the nice things she'd done.

Guess that German course will have to wait.