A few days later, Eric disappeared from French class.

When I tried to email him, he wouldn't respond. In fact, he didn't even acknowledge me when we passed each other in the hallway. Scouring my brain, I couldn't think of one thing I'd done wrong. 

Unless he really did hate me because of our little argument.

Either way, I had to fix it. Once school was over, I decided to brave the senior halls to find Eric and smooth things over between us. I swallowed down my nerves and snuck inside. 

You got this.

It didn't take me long to find him. Cornered against the lockers by a group of buff jocks, Eric held his head high while Jack and Bryan stood among his tormentors. 

Hidden out of sight, I pressed myself against the door of an empty classroom and stole occasional glances at them from afar.

"This is your last warning, Stevens," said Jack. "Stay away from Jess."

What the—?

"I'm no threat," said Eric without a hint of fear.

"Bullshit!"

"I gave her my email address." Eric overenunciated each word like he was speaking to a dullard. "What is your problem?"

"We've caught you following her," said Bryan. "Leering at her during lunch."

What?

"How many times do I have to tell you? We were just friends."

My heart sank to my knees. Were? Past tense?

"Good. Keep it that way," said Jack.

Eric jutted his chin. "Her grandparents made her feelings about me quite plain, and I don't want any drama."

Rage burbled in my veins like fiery lava. How the hell did they contact him?

Jack released Eric with a vicious shove. "We're watching you."

My heart thudded against my ribs as Eric stormed past me on the way out. I called out after him, but he ignored me as he raced downstairs and out of sight.

Righteous anger gave me the courage to face those stupid losers. Even though they were all almost twice my size and buff as hell. 

"Hey, Bryan!"

He whipped around with a shocked expression. So many emotions flitted across his face, but in that moment I didn't care. Bryan had to learn he couldn't bully people into submission. 

"I heard every word," I said to him, "and I want you to know something once and for all."

Bryan parted his lips. 

"I have never been yours." Fury raged in my veins. "And I will never be yours."

"Jess, please...don't."

"I don't know what your problem is, but I'm not your prize."

"Show some respect," roared Jack. "We protected your sorry ass."

"No, you apologize to Eric this instant!"

Jack turned a shade of maroon I'd never seen on a human face before. With strident steps, he moved towards me, but Bryan held him back. 

"Let her go," said Bryan. "It's okay."

"What is your problem, Perez?" snarled Jack as he struggled to break free. "I'm tired of you teasing the hell out of my friends only to reject them later."

"It doesn't matter," said Bryan.

"It sure as hell does." 

Jack shrugged away from his friend and stood before me. I didn't let him intimidate me. It sure as hell wasn't the first time a giant wardrobe with an attitude wanted to hurt me.

"You stare at him during your debate," snarled Jack in an angry whisper. "Talk all cute at your locker. Then embarrass the fuck out of him in front of his friends?"

"He's dating Sarah! Are you nuts?"

He leaned in close. "Why do you lead him on like that?"

"I've never led anyone on," I retorted under my breath, staring into Jack's glinting azure eyes. "In fact, I made it clear from the eighth grade that I wanted nothing to do with him."

Never breaking my stare, Jack searched me for any signs of deceit. But he would find none. Because I was telling the truth. 

Jack bent down—his warm breath fanning my cheek—and whispered, "You're not worthy of Bryan. Go to your little freak."

I scoffed.

"Don't believe me?" asked Jack with a wry chuckle. "Eric is staring at you right now."

"Probably to make sure you don't beat the crap out of me," I retorted.

Jack backed away with a sinister glare that reminded me of that crazy dude in A Clockwork Orange. After a stunned moment, I turned to the exit behind me to find Eric standing ramrod straight and eyeing Jack like a hawk. 

After I walked towards the exit, Eric backed away. The stairwell echoed with the sound of his hurried steps. 

"Eric, please stop!" I called. "Let's talk about this."

"There's nothing to discuss."

"Come on, please!"

He rushed through the junior hallway while I jogged to catch up with him.

"Eric!"

Turning into an empty corridor, he waited for me, his cheeks flushed with anger. "I gave you my email address to help you!" he insisted. "Not to stalk you."

"What the heck are you talking about?" I cried, panting with exertion. 

"So you don't know?"

"Know what?"

His shoulders slumped. 

"Please, Eric." I took a few tentative steps toward him. "Talk to me. We can fix this."

"Your grandparents sent me several emails," he said as he drew nearer. "First they demanded to know who I was. They interrogated me about everything from my background to my beliefs."

"What?"

"They told me to stop chasing you online. As though I was some kind of...criminal!"

"How did they even get your address?" I asked, astounded.

His gaze softened. "I like you, Jess. Truly, I do. I could stand up to Jack and Bryan. Fight them if I had to." Eric sighed. "As long as your grandparents hate me, we have no future."

"Eric, I had no idea they did that." 

With a tentative hand, I reached out for his arm. He didn't shrink away from me. No, he put his cold hand over mine. Tingles of adrenaline coursed through me as I took a step closer to him. 

I couldn't help but notice his deep breaths as he gazed at me.

"They don't speak for me," I whispered. 

"Jess..."

The way Eric breathed my name stoked a fire in my heart. Magnetism hummed between us, drawing us even closer. 

"Please believe me."

"I do."

Only our breathing broke the silence. He caught my gaze with his, drawing me once again into their inky depths. Dark as night.

"It doesn't matter, though, does it?" came his crestfallen whisper. My troubled thoughts swirled like a devastating whirlwind as his hand fell to his side. "You must obey them."

"There must be another way."

"If they won't even let you tutor me, what chance do I have?" he whispered.

"You're in French IV now, I hear."

He cast his gaze away from me. "Yes, you inspired me."

"You had no trouble in French at all."

"I make silly errors."

"That's not a lack of understanding," I insisted. "Tutoring wouldn't help with that."

"Do I need to spell it out for you, Jess?" he whispered.

Silence fell between us, and I bit my lower lip. "No, you don't."

"Perhaps another day," he said, taking both of my hands. "When you're free, we can give it a try. But now it's no use..."

"We can find a way." 

He gave my hands a gentle squeeze and walked away. 

"Eric, wait!"

From that moment forward, he vanished from my life. Apart from watching him hunched over a book or at lunch with his chess buddies, I never saw him again that year. Taken away by both jealous fools and over-controlling guardians.

I stormed out of school, got in the backseat of the car, and slammed the door.

Mom gave me a worried look through the rear-view mirror. "Are you okay, dear?"

"Did you or did you not terrorize Eric via email?" I demanded without preamble, a thin veneer of calm hiding the volcano brewing inside me.

"Eric?"

"Don't play dumb, Mom!" She cringed. "Did you?"

"Jess, dear. Is it almost time for your—?"

"Do not finish that question," I sneered. "Did you email Eric?"

"Bryan told us he was worried about you," she said, wringing the steering wheel. "He said you were spending a lot of time with an atheist young man who would stare at you. Grandad told me that he asked you to help him. For money. Without asking us. That's not normal, dear."

"I didn't even—! Ugh!"

I didn't know who I hated more: Bryan, the jealous kid desperate to sleep with me at any price? Grandad, the lovable bear who kowtowed to his devious wife? Mom, the overbearing matriarch who kept me locked in a gilded cage? Or myself for allowing them to manipulate me this way?

"It isn't healthy for you two to sneak around while he stalks you online, dear." She cast me a concerned look when she caught me glowering at her. "God only knows what he wants!"

"Is that what you told Bryan?" I squeezed my temples in aggravation. So that explained Jack and Bryan's idiocy. "For the love of God, Mom! You don't understand how the Internet works."

"Don't take the Lord's name in vain," she said in a stern voice.

"Do you think I give the tiniest little crap?" I cried, making her jump before sitting ramrod straight. "Eric gave me his email address so that he could send me an article for school!"

It was a white lie, but not far from the truth.

She balked.

"He wanted me to tutor him in French. At school. In full view of half a dozen adults!" I said. "But thanks ever so much for embarrassing me and trusting Bryan more than me."

"Jess, that's not true."

Then it hit me.

"You went through my stuff!" I said in a furious whisper, my eyes wide with realization. "You combed my belongings for his email address. Is there nothing sacred in my private life?"

"Jess, you're raging again."

"Ya think?"

Mom began the waterworks, one of her favorite ways of guilting me into submission. She resembled Mrs. Bennet in Pride and Prejudice. 

"This isn't how we raised you," said Mom through crocodile tears.

"No, you raised me to be an obedient little Catholic robot."

"Do you want me to call Chuck?" she asked. "Maybe you'd like to live in that dumpy little one-bedroom motel room of his, and he can deal with your nonsense."

Is she for real?

We pulled into the driveway, and I stormed up the stairs towards Grandad. "Why did you tell Mom about Eric?" I demanded, more hurt than angry. "You promised you wouldn't!"

"Watch your tone, young lady."

"Oh, no!" I jutted my chin. "Not this time. You both can't keep controlling my life. I'm sixteen!"

"I said settle down!"

"You're insufferable," I hissed. "I do everything you want. All the time. I go to your church, read your bible, say your rosaries, sing your hymns even though my singing sucks, and deal with all the stupid idiots after church."

"I will not take this crap!" he roared. "Take a deep breath and calm down!"

"I do my homework, get near perfect grades, never do anything to upset anyone," I continued, my skin flushed with anger from head to toe. "And yet you both continue to treat me like shit!"

I stormed to my room and slammed the door, locking it behind me. Grandad twisted and turned the doorknob, pounding on the door as ice ran through my veins. "Unlock this door at once!"

"You can both go to hell!"

Even then they wouldn't leave me in peace. When I refused to obey, they grabbed a metal skewer and forced the lock open. "That's it!" he shouted, pointing at me. "No more Internet!"

"Fine!"

"For as long as you live in this house!" he roared. "If I hear so much as another peep of insolence out of you, I'll send you packing straight to Chuck!"

It was the only grudge I'd ever kept for longer than five minutes. Not for Eric's sake—I'd never lost my head over a boy—but because of all the other crap. 

The rest of that school year I'd spent in sullen silence apart from Carolyn and my teachers. Even Jack and Bryan didn't tease me anymore. Sure, I used the necessary pleasantries and fulfilled my church duties. But I never went beyond the bare minimum of cultural decency.

***

The last time I saw Eric in high school was at the honors ceremony before his graduation, where he swept the board of awards in math and the hard sciences.

Valedictorian. Honors Society. Chess master.

On the last day of class, Eric surprised me with an unexpected visit. When I slammed the locker, he conjured himself out of thin air.

"Jess..."

"Eric..."

"I kept my word to your grandparents," he said in a formal, stilted tone. "I stayed away all year, but I couldn't leave without saying good-bye."

"Congratulations," I said with a sad smile. "You deserve all the awards. You work hard."

"Not really."

Awkward silence fell. The kind so charged with emotion that no one could speak.

He cast his gaze to the floor. "Jess, it won't always be like this."

"I know."

He gazed at me through his long, dark lashes. "Perhaps we'll meet again one day."

"Are you going to college near here?" I asked, filled with hope.

"Full ride to Holy Cross."

"Wow! Congratulations!"

A genuine smile swept across his face. "Yes, it was a great relief to me and my family. They..." He paused. "They have a fantastic foreign language program, you know."

My heart filled with warmth for the first time in months.

"Perhaps you can visit sometime and see the language labs," he said with a shy smile.

It had taken me seventeen years, but I'd finally figured out what perhaps you can visit sometime meant. Translation: In another time or place, it would have been nice to get to know you.

But not here. Not now. And probably not ever.

Fighting to keep the tears at bay, I swallowed the lump in my throat and said the culturally accepted answer to that polite platitude. "Yeah, I'd like that."

"Take care, Jess."

"Take care, Eric."

He left without another word. Or any contact details. Not that my grandparents would have ever let me talk to him if he had given them to me. All that left me with little choice, however. 

Time to move on.