After my family birthday party, I raced upstairs to confirm some last-minute details with Eric and Helen before my trip to Holy Cross. 

Just six more days! I can't wait till Saturday.

Both of them were signed on with away messages, so I jotted a few lines to them in an email. Just as I was about to hit send, another buddy signed on to AIM. 

Crap! Please don't let him message me...

An IM popped up on my screen with the signature chime. To my utter relief, it was my friend Carolyn. Not Bryan. She'd texted me happy birthday wishes, but I didn't want to reply until I'd found out how much texting cost. 

We teased each other mercilessly, but that was kind of our thing. Just like sisters. Half the time, I wasn't sure if I was laughing at her or with her. Seeing her for four years with her head buried in books, I'd thought she was just another quiet church mouse.

How very wrong I'd been.

Crap, I should have been friends with her. Not Nicky. Ugh...

It had taken some time for me to get used to her irreverent sense of humor. She meant well, though. Now, more than ever, I appreciated her friendship. 

Apart from Grandad and Eric, Care had become my friend and anchor during these troublesome times. She might have been a bit of an oddball. But she got me. Both of us had been only children raised by strict grandparents.

Because of that, she felt akin to a sister. 

I shook my head and stifled a giggle. A part of me should have been pissed off with her for saying that. But it was Care. She could get away with shit I didn't take from anyone else.

Don't ask me why. 

Despite my best efforts to curb sentimentality, whenever I talked to Care, I caught her crazy zeal for life and exuberance. It was infectious. I'd spent so long acting calm and rational with my family that it dampened my eagerness. 

But talking to her had changed all that. I began daydreaming about hanging out with Eric in the language labs.

Care had this strange quirk of randomly creating the weirdest metaphors and expressions. Perhaps she was bored with normal language and decided to make up weird shit.

Either way, I kinda liked it. A jovial, harmless sort of craziness. 

I'd do almost anything to be as high on life as Carolyn seemed. Whereas I tried to maintain an even-keeled, rational, intelligent persona, she just acted like an excitable child. 

At first, I'd written her off as ditzy or dumb. Turned out we both got the same grades, though. I came third in the entire senior class. She came in fourth. When I heard her debate on current affairs in Political Science, that clinched the matter for me. 

Not dumb at all. I got my ass handed to me.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I meant it. Going to Holy Cross on my own proved to be a bit nerve-wracking. In that respect, Mom wasn't wrong. I would have liked to go with a friend like Carolyn so that we could chat over pizza in the cafeteria. 

That way, at least I'd know someone.  What if I ended up disliking Eric or Helen? Or vice versa? And then we'd have to spend the whole weekend together. Ugh...

It was blunt statements like that which had initially put me off of making friends with her. Care was a vocal misanthrope apart from a select few individuals. She didn't discriminate on any basis except the quality of being human, which included most of us at school. Carolyn was the kind of girl who'd rather play with the stray cat in the neighborhood. 

Why Carolyn chose to befriend me lay beyond my comprehension. 

I scoffed under my breath. Typical Carolyn. I wondered if she came pre-baked like that. It amused me most of the time. A part of me couldn't help but wonder if there were a grain of truth in her statement, though. Not just an ironic sense of humor. 

Unlike Eric, who always signed off after our discussions, Care would often forget. Just leave the thing running. No away message. No nothing. 

I shook my head in mild amusement. Only Care could show that range of emotion in one ten-minute conversation. But I admired her naive bluntness. Like an excitable bunny, indeed. 

Often I'd wondered what would have happened if I'd told her about my asexuality first. And not  Nicky. Sure, Carolyn loved to play the callous fool. Whenever I'd told her something that mattered, though, she listened. Asked questions. Showed her support in a vocal, but friendly way.

Even stood up to Nicky and her gang. And they tucked tail and retreated like cowards.

I was wrong to trust Nicky all that time. I'd brushed Care aside just because she was a bit different from everyone else. 

Damn it! What an idiot...

I should have gotten to know Carolyn right from the start. Nicky had always knocked me down. But Care supported me with the strength of an entire army. 

Time to have fun with languages. And to meet the one guy who understood how I ticked. 

Let's do this thing!