19 ¦ Tentative Beginnings

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While I was waiting for Helen to get ready for movie night, I took a closer look at her pictures on the wooden shelf above her desk. A high school graduation photo with her parents. Friends at a Crusaders football game. Cheerleading photos from high school.

One showed Eric with his arm around Helen. He sported a lopsided smile. It was taken before her magic touch when he still wore adorably dorky clothes, a mop of dark brown hair, and large-framed glasses.

I broke out into a grin as I picked up the frame and took a closer look.

That's the Eric I remember. Awww, what a sweetie.

When I put back the photo, my eyes fell upon an official document lying on her desk. With a guilty pang, I took a closer look. It was a Holy Cross transcript. Hers!

Even though my conscience was screaming at me not to look, I couldn't resist a little peek.

It astounded me. Not only had she skipped a year of Spanish classes, but she had taken a host of Advanced Placement accounting and math classes in high school in order to apply for early graduation. Helen even completed five classes per semester instead of the usual four.

Her cumulative GPA with all that pressure? Three-point-seven-six. Grades superior enough to graduate magna cum laude, assuming her marks didn't change.

This woman is way smarter than me.

Most of her books discussed accounting or math, so I grabbed the one that resembled the social sciences: Principles of Macroeconomics. To my relief, it had more words than graphs, but still way too many numbers for my taste.

"Having fun?" Helen asked as she entered the room, sweeping up her hair.

Her outfit was stunning. The skirt and shirt ensemble accentuated her long, thin legs and her hourglass figure. Her makeup was immaculate, highlighting her high cheekbones and azure eyes. Her blonde hair was swept up in an impeccable hairdo with not even a strand out of place.

"Wow, how do you do it?"

Helen chuckled. "What?"

"This..."

I gestured at myself and at her, but in my mind, I'd included her excellent grades. Sure, I could get similar academic results if I isolated myself in my room or the library all semester and looked like a toadstool. But how did she manage to have such an active social life as well?

"Passion and practice," she said as she broke out into a smile. "Come on. Time for your date."

"Oh, stop. I'm nervous enough as it is."

"I'll be there too. Don't worry." She draped her arm around my shoulders. "Plus, it's Star Wars. What's not to like?"

I exhaled a long, steady breath.

"Awww!" Helen gave me a friendly squeeze before she released me. "You've got this."

At the end of the long corridor, we reached the guys' part of the dorm. "Men and women stay separate," Helen said. "Guys aren't even allowed to stay overnight in a girl's room or vice versa."

"Why?" I exclaimed. "You're all adults."

"Part of the school code," she replied. "You can get a disciplinary hearing or worse if you're caught. They take it very seriously."

"Bet that makes life easier for you," I whispered.

"One of the few perks." She winked. "I'll take it."

Helen stopped in front of another nondescript gray door and knocked. The faint sound of piano music and happy laughter made me smile. Little tingles of anticipation coursed across my skin at the sound of footsteps.

But it wasn't Eric.

Instead, a giant, nerdy guy opened the door and I retreated a step.

"Hellz bells, whazzzzzaaaap?" he asked in an elongated drawl that echoed down the hall.

"Come here, Teddy Bear!" she said as the guy wrapped her up in his embrace.

I could see why Helen would have given him that nickname. She almost disappeared in his arms because the guy was as hefty as he was tall. I mean, damn! He had to bend down to fit through the door frame. Every part of his body was covered in thick, dark hair. Not only his head, arms, and legs but a dark, bushy beard as well.

Whoa! It's a real, live Hagrid.

When the guy put her down, he turned to me, bug-eyed, as though I were some alien from outer space. He interrupted Helen as she tried to introduce us.

"My name's John," he said, holding out his giant hand, which I shook. He almost ripped my arm off. "But there's another guy called John, so everyone calls me by my middle name, Teddy."

Oh, my gosh! Like Grandad!

My voice came out as a muted squeak. "Hey, Teddy."

He escorted us inside, where three guys were laughing and chatting. Eric had lost himself playing a flawless, soulful rendition of the Moonlight Sonata on an expensive two-tier keyboard.

The notes of the third movement danced through the air with a whirling dervish. His music captured my heart, winding its way towards me like tendrils of invisible magic. Beckoning to me. Enticing me to draw nearer.

My heart fluttered like a caged bird as I walked towards him, entranced.

"Dude, play something from Star Wars!" one of the guys shouted, breaking the spell. I stopped dead in my tracks. "Not this classical shit."

"What? Like this?" Eric asked as he began to play The Imperial March without sheet music. And not the easy version, either. I stared at his fingers dancing across the keys with precision.

"Yeahhh!" Teddy roared with both fists in the air.

His room was super tidy, almost as well organized as the other half of Helen's room. Sci-fi movie posters--including an original Star Wars rendition--dotted the room along with a periodic table of elements and cheesy science joke. I chuckled at the sole cat poster.

Wow, Eric's room is awesome!

The room fell silent, keyboard and all, breaking me out of my reverie. I caught Eric's soulful gaze. He almost tripped as he rose from the music bench, and his eyes darted away from mine.

"Hey, Jess. Glad you could make it."

"Thanks for inviting me."

He pointed to the bear and three other nerdy guys with glasses. "These are my buddies: Teddy, John, Dave, and Steve."

"Hi, guys," I said with an awkward wave.

They returned my greeting with an indistinct murmur of shy replies, drowned out by an exuberant Teddy. "Welcome to our movie group."

"Would you ladies like something to drink?" Eric asked.

"My usual," Helen said.

"Diet coke it is." He turned to me with his shy smile. "Jess?"

"Same, thanks," I said in a choked voice before I cleared my throat.

While Eric went to get our drinks, the guys stared at the floor and stood in awkward silence as Teddy tried in vain to engage them in discourse. Helen broke the weirdness with her usual effervescence, dragging me over towards the group.

"Dude, she's a girl. Not an alien that's going to pop out of your belly."

"Chest," one of the guys murmured.

"Whatever."

"So you all have class together?" I asked, trying to break the tension.

"Same building anyway. Smith Hall," Teddy said. "We're all science and math nerds. John and I also know Eric from Choir. But I think you...?"

Helen gave the other two guys an inquisitive look, and they nodded back. "Dave, Steve and I are a part of ABiGaLe," Helen said. "We met Eric there."

"Abigail?" I asked with a furrowed brow.

"The Association of Bisexuals, Gays, and Lesbians," she said with a smile. "And asexuals too, of course. Which is how we know Eric."

"Helen!"

"She already knows about it, Steve," Helen said, rolling her eyes.

"Aww man," he said, wide-eyed, running a hand through his blonde waves. "Eric has all the luck." Helen poked him in the ribs. "Ouch!" He rubbed his side. "Damn it, Hellz!"

Dang, I never knew so many people weren't heterosexual. That's reassuring.

The other guys chuckled at Helen and Steve mock-fighting with each other. They began to relax, debating the pros and cons of the remastered version of Star Wars. Soon, I was swept into their conversation, and they seemed to soon forget I was some weird newcomer.

I jumped when Eric's ice-cold fingertips brushed my arm. "Your drink," he said in a low whisper.

My cheeks flushed crimson and little butterflies fluttered inside my stomach when I turned to face him. Our eyes locked. My throat was parched and felt like it was full of cotton wool.

"Thanks," I managed to choke out.

The phone rang. Eric rushed to answer it. He shouted out to us as he ran towards the door. "Pizza's here! Set up the DVDs, will ya, guys?"

"Hellz yeah, let's get this party started!" Teddy said before he began to bellow the music from The Throne Room scene in a pure bass rumble. The guy was built to be an opera singer.

"Someone please give me this guy's voice," Dave said.

Teddy grinned.

By the time Eric had returned with five large pizzas, Teddy had the movie started, paused and ready to go. "Man, I'm starved," he said, piling several slices of pizza on his plate.

There was a mad rush while Eric, Helen and I held back and waited for the guys to settle. Steve, Dave, and John just about fit on the three-seater couch while Teddy ensconced himself with a grunt into one of the three giant beanbag chairs with a liter bottle of coke.

Helen grabbed a few slices of cheese pizza and claimed the second chair.

Eric and I went to get pizza next, and we both unwittingly went for the last slice of veggie supreme with pepperoni.

"Ladies first," he said.

"No, you--"

"I insist." With a blush, I quickly took it and muttered my thanks. He dug into the olive pizza. "I can recommend this one. Not usually a fan of olives, but they taste good this way."

"Really?" I asked with a skeptical look.

"Try it," he said with a grin. "If you don't like it, I'll eat it."

Mom and Grandad rarely had pizza. When we did, we only had cheese or pepperoni.

Time to try something new.

I grabbed a slice of olive, pepper and mushroom pizza, thinking I could pluck off the offending pieces if they weren't to my taste. He grabbed one slice from each of the other four pizzas and made his way back with me.

"I'm afraid I don't have enough chairs," he whispered. "You take the last beanbag."

"But--"

"Go ahead. I'll sit on the bed."

I nestled into it like a little rabbit in a burrow. "Aww, these are so comfy."

Eric grinned at me as he plopped onto his bed. Helen chastised him in a faint whisper. I couldn't tell what she was saying, but he gave me a brief glance, blushed, and shook his head.

"Lights, dude!" Dave said.

"Lights!"

"Let's go!"

"All right, all right," Eric said as the room went dark.

My heart always gave an excited squee whenever the opening music for Star Wars began. It did this time as well, to be sure. But it was followed by a wistful twinge like a scrape from a dull knife.

Don't be such an idiot. Enjoy the movie.

You can't deny Eric sat as far away from you as possible in the semicircle.

That doesn't mean anything. Where should he sit? On the floor? He gave you his beanbag.

Helen was wrong. This was just a movie night with friends.

Ugh, who cares? Oh, wow. This olive pizza does taste good. What the--? I normally hate olives...

After Eric had finished, he threw away the paper plate. But he didn't return to his seat to watch the final battle scene. In silence, he stood there with his back towards us.

Eric cupped his forehead in his palm, tracing his temples as if in deep thought. He shook his head and cast a glance towards me. Snapping my attention back to the movie, I swallowed the lump in my throat.

What's wrong?

My heart pounded when he crouched down beside me. He spoke in such a soft whisper that I barely made out his words.

"May I sit next to you?"

I was so glad the lights were off so that he wouldn't see my burning cheeks. I resisted breathing a sigh of relief. "Sure, would you like the chair for a while?"

"No, that's fine," he said, sitting cross-legged on the floor beside me. "Enjoy it."

Once again, I nestled into his chair with a contented sigh and flopped my arms on each side.

I stared at how close we were. If I moved my dangling hand just a couple of inches to the left, I could graze his knee. My heart beat with wild insistence at the thought.

But I didn't dare. Not when I hardly knew him.

And yet I wanted to. So badly.

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