After our little group hug, Mom took a pile of letters out of the drawer. She didn't have to tell me what they were. I hardly ever got snail mail, and they were giant envelopes.

My heart thudded against my ribs.

"Are those--?" I asked, speechless.

"I think so," Mom said, her eyes twinkling.

Mom and Grandad watched as I snatched and ripped open the thick envelope from Boston College. Scanning the document, my eyes landed on the word I wanted to see.

"Yes! They accepted me! Oh, my gosh!" I squealed.

"Wonderful!" Grandad exclaimed.

"I knew you'd make it, dear!"

I scanned the document until I came to the important part. My shoulders sank. "Oh, no!"

"What is it?" Mom asked, her brow furrowed.

"Only a half scholarship because I'm not the valedictorian," I said, pursing my lips. "Shit!"

I slammed the acceptance letter on the desk in frustration. Mom gave me a look of concern and pursed her lips. She didn't even bother to correct my language.

Hell, she was probably thinking the same thing.

A half-scholarship still meant I had to find over twenty-five thousand dollars per year to attend. That was never going to happen, not even with a part-time job and commuting from home.

It might as well have been a rejection. No, it was worse. Knowing I could go to an amazing school like that but being hampered by money set my teeth on edge.

"What about ROTC?" Grandad asked me. "Can't you go for free if you join that program?"

"My granddaughter is not going to join the army," Mom said.

It was so rare to hear her raise her voice that we both balked at her.

"If Jess studies languages and graduates in good standing, she would serve as a lieutenant," Grandad argued. "She'd be a non-combatant. Anyway, we've lived in relative peace for decades."

"She is NOT going to join Army ROTC! And that's final," Mom shouted. "I won't see my baby carted off to war."

"This is 1999, not 1940, Carm."

"Think of Iraq," she insisted. "What if that blows up?"

"That region has been a basket case for a decade," Grandad said with a sigh. "But we won the Gulf War. It's over. She wouldn't have to fight."

"Jess would have to serve for four years after graduation. Until 2007!"

Don't I have a say in this? For God's sake, I'm an adult now!

"One of those other colleges must have accepted her with a good aid package," Grandad muttered. "She has a three-point-eight GPA, for crying out loud."

Damn you, Math. If it weren't for you, I'd have a perfect four-point-oh.

"Three-point-eight-seven-eight," I replied as I grabbed another envelope. "Let's see if it's enough."

Assumption College. Come on, baby. Don't let me down.

"Accepted!" I said with a sigh of relief. Now for the tricky part. "Okay, okay, this is better. Lots of scholarships. Merit-based and aid-based. Okay... Oh, GOD!"

"What? What is it?" Mom asked as she looked over my shoulder.

"Five thousand," I said, slamming the letter on the table. "Five thousand a year I'd have to find. Where do they expect me to get this? Out of my backside?"

"Jess!"

"I'm sorry, Mom, but really."

"If only you could have filed the paperwork as an independent student," Grandad said with a frustrated growl. "It's my extra income and our assets that are throwing it."

"But that's your retirement money," I said. "You need that to live. We can't dip into that."

Mom gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "We're your guardians, dear."

"Surely they understand I just turned eighteen with no cash, no assets, and no parents." Mom cringed at my words. "No offense, but it isn't your responsibility anymore. It's not fair."

"It'll be easier next year when you're independent," Grandad said. "Go on, there's still one more letter."

Fitchburg State College. My safe school in case the others had rejected me, which they had, for all intents and purposes. Never had I expected to end up here after all my hard work.

In what lifetime should a straight-A student be forced to attend a state school? If I wanted to go there, that's one thing. But this?

This is bullshit.

Then the truth hit me with full force. If Fitchburg didn't give me the money I needed, I'd be stuck at a community college. All of my dreams--gone. Because of fucking money.

"Accepted," I said with a heavy sigh that turned into a groan. "No aid package...? Nothing?!" The tears formed in my eyes. "How is that even possible? Even Boston College gave--"

"That can't be right," Mom breathed. "Check again."

On what planet did I not receive any aid from a state--?

"Wait a minute!" I said, afraid to get my hopes up as I turned to the second and third pages. I leaped from my chair, and it fell behind me with a crash. "I got a merit-based scholarship! That's why...!"

"Oh, thank the Lord!" Mom said, holding her hands in prayer. "What did you get?"

"I'm reading--I'm reading..." I said, my hands trembling and my eyes watering with gratitude until I could hardly see the words. "Holy shit!"

"Language!"

"What does it say?" Grandad demanded, his tone impatient.

"It's a full ride. Room and board. Even a stipend for books. Oh, my God!"

"Oh, thank you, God!" Mom said with a heavy exhale. "You did it, Jess. A full scholarship."

I nodded. "Pending my final transcript and final GPA. As long as I keep my grades up and pass all my exams with As, I should be fine."

"I believe in you, Jess! You've always worked hard," Grandad said, giving me one of his gruff bear hugs. "Your grandmother is right. Don't get a job until graduation. Keep up those grades."

Mom sighed. "If only you'd applied to Holy Cross. They have an aid-blind--"

"Not now, Carm!" Grandad growled. "Just be happy she got this scholarship. That means no matter what happens, she'll graduate from college. As long as she keeps getting As."

Well...no pressure then.

"Which is why I said she shouldn't work until after she finishes college." Mom tapped the acceptance letter. "We already know she'll be set now. But if her grades go down--"

"Guys, there's such a thing as internships and summer jobs," I said, rolling my eyes. "I'll do that, and during the year, I'll focus on my studies. No job. Okay?"

Yeah, okay. I was being passive-aggressive. Not one of my finest moments.

But I wanted Mom just to let me celebrate this one achievement before honing in on the next would-be problem.

"Sounds good to me," Grandad said with a grin.

Mom nodded. "Yes, that sounds sensible, dear."

"Well, alrighty then. Let's just be grateful Fitchburg State College thinks I'm a good fit." I rubbed a sore bit on my shoulders, which had tensed up like mad. "And it's time for me to hit the books."

Briiiiiiing!

"Oh, really?" I said with a frustrated sigh. "For the love of--"

Briiiiiing!

"I'll get it," Mom said.

I held up my hand. "Nah, I'm right here."

Brii--!

Hello?

Jess?

Bryan?
Oh, hey.

Hey...
Uh...
Happy birthday...
Belated birthday, I mean...

Thanks, Bry.
What's up?

Not much...
What about you?

I got a full ride
To Fitchburg State.
So I guess that's something.

Whoa, congrats!
That's amazing. I'm jealous.

Jealous? Really?
So, what's up...

Did you...uh...
Get the thing I sent?
Or did your grandparents...?

I got it.

Oh.

Yeah.

So, I guess that's a no, then?

After all the rejection I'd just experienced, it ripped my heart out to do the same to him. But all the sad acceptance letters in the world couldn't make me lie to him. He deserved the truth.

I'm sorry, Bryan.
But no.

*pause*
Please tell me the truth.
Is there someone else?

Oh, brother. Good question. Yes, there very much was someone else. But no one knew about it, not even my own family. Still, Bryan had a right to know so that he could move on, didn't he?

Yes, there is.

I see...
*sigh*
Does he treat you well?

Yes, he's a sweetheart.

Is he an asexual like you?

Bryan!

Just don't...
Well, it's not my place to say.
But if he isn't...
You need to tell him.

He is, Bryan.
Okay?! Jeez!

Well, fine.
That's different.
*pause*
Are you going to prom with him?

Bryan, that's my business!
You're not my boyfriend anymore.
You have to either be my friend
Or let me go.

Yeah, sorry, you're right.
It's just...seven years...it's...
It's hard to make the adjustment.

It's all right.
I understand.
I'm sure you'll find a very
Lucky lady to take to prom.

Yeah...
That's what I thought too.

Silence. Awkward silence. I wanted to comfort him, but what was there to say? I didn't love him. And if what I felt for Eric was any indication, I may never have loved Bryan.

Not that I'd deluded myself. I just never realized what romantic attraction meant until I'd met Eric.

I'm sorry, Bryan.

Well, you take care, Jess.

His voice was cracking up, and my heart broke for him. I didn't want to hurt him, but a quick cut was far less painful than a messy, half-hearted one. Especially when my heart was thinking of someone else.

You too, Bry.

Bye.

His voice had all but shut down as he forced his farewell with a pained whisper. He hung up before I could reciprocate. Probably before he broke down in tears or yelled at me in anger by the sound of it.

Despite the dial tone, I still whispered my final goodbye.

When I turned to face my grandparents, Grandad sported a furrowed brow while Mom gave me one of her soul-piercing glares. The one that made me want to curl up in a ball and stick my head in the sand like an ostrich.

"Is there something you want to tell us, young lady?" Grandad demanded.

"Such as who exactly is a sweetheart," Mom said, crossing her arms.

Oh, boy. Here we go.