(Who's the dipshit? Jokes on you. We're all dipshits.)

Vik, holding his phone: My phone is the same as me

Rob: Go on?

Vik: I prefer it in dark mode, I have way too much useless files, it needs to be updated every week, it's drain energy alot, it's useless without wifi--

Rob: Okay, okay, can you say something that you can or can't do that your phone does?

Vik:

Rob: See? No-

Vik: I get jealous when my phone dies.