Y/N (V.O): So, let's rewind the clocks a bit. Before the TVA, before Wolverine's corpse, and before the whole undead debacle. My journey began long before that, during my childhood when I discovered I was a mutant...

The scene transitions to the year 2005 at a hospital

Y/N(V.O): My story starts in the year 2005. I was born into normal circumstances, as normal as you can be when your dad is Deadpool. And let me tell you, being born to a merc with a mouth wasn't exactly a walk in the park.

The scene shows a room full of babies.

Y/N(V.O.): Now- if the camera man would be so kind and show me as a little ol me that would be nice.

The camera shows a female baby.

Y/N (V.O): So, there I am, just a wee baby laying in a crib, looking all innocent and adorable. You wouldn't think much of me, but trust me — I was a handful from the moment I left my mom's womb. Hold on a second, that ain't me! There must be some camera guy shenanigans going on. Could you, uh, rewind that and show the real me?

The camera man shows another baby.

Y/N (V.O): Ah, there I am! That's definitely me. Look at that little face, all cute and squishy. Who could have known that I'd grow up to be the badass merc that I am now?

Suddenly an old looking lady grabs the baby and smiles.

Old lady: Hi honey....

Y/N(V.O.): Good god- that is not my mom. Oh great so that's not me then? Nope, that ain't my mom, and that ain't me either! Geez, is it that hard to find a picture of a baby me? C'mon, camera guy, get it together!

The cameraman shows another baby which was- a different skin tone.

Y/N (V.O): Woah- hold the phone! Not only is that not me, but uh... that baby is clearly a different ethnicity. Seriously, camera guy, are you drunk or something?

The camera shows Vanessa and Wade Wilson, Y/N's parents.

Y/N(V.O.): There we go! Finally! Gee it's like that cameraman was hired by Jack Doherty! Good thing I killed him though..... Ah, there they are, my dear ol' parents. Vanessa and Wade aka Deadpool. Just your average parents... if you don't count the merc business, the healing factor, and the ability to break the fourth wall. But hey, what's a little quirk between family members, right? Anyway, my family might be unconventional, but they're mine. And growing up with them was quite the experience, let me tell you. But before we get to all the exciting stuff, let's not forget the basics... So, as you might have guessed by now, I was born a mutant. Yep, that's right, I'm one of those rare individuals with extraordinary talents. But it wasn't like I could throw fireballs or read minds. No, my mutation was a bit more subtle, a bit more... unique. Hahaha! Gotcha! But yep, you guessed it — I'm like a carbon copy of my dad, Deadpool. I have the same insane healing factor, the same immortality, and the same penchant for making wisecracks in the middle of serious situations. It's a family trait, I suppose. Growing up, I had to learn how to control my powers. Let me tell you, being practically indestructible can make a kid cocky. I'd jump off the top of the stairs and land on my butt, and pop! Good as new. Heck, one time I actually did jump out of a tree, just like a squirrel. But I ended up scaring Mom half to death, and Dad just laughed his ass off. Oh yes don't forget the time when I miraculously touched my crush's tits! HAHAHA! Oh man, that's a classic! High school was a real trip, let me tell you. Imagine a teenage me... with the same mischievous nature as my dad. I swear, I could make trouble just by breathing! And that crush incident, holy hell, it's still a subject of endless teasing in our family. Even my grandma laughs at that one! And she's.......... Dead. Now. Unfortunately- Yeah, that took a dark turn real quick. But truth be told, growing up in my family was a rollercoaster. And not all the rides were fun. Like when my grandma passed away... That hit me hard. I mean, yeah, she was a tough old bird, and I loved her sass, but she was also the glue that held us together. Losing her was like losing a piece of myself. It's a scar I'll always carry, but it also taught me to cherish the moments I have with the loved ones still by my side. Ah who am I kidding- I'm the new Deadpool now! Ha! So you caught onto that, huh? Well, I'll let the cat out of the bag. Yes, I've been carrying on the Wade Wilson legacy as the new Deadpool. But don't mistake me for a carbon copy. I've got my own style, my own flair. I'm a merc with a different kind of edge. But I do have a soft spot for making wisecracks, just like the old man. It's a family tradition, after all. You know the drill — the camera guy was gearing up for a cliché high school montage, but I ain't having it. Let's skip the cheesy music and the slow motion shots of me in school corridors. We're not here for a teen movie, we're here for the real deal. Ah, the TVA. Or as I affectionately call it — Tits vs Ass. Gotta love that little jab at their name. Those Time Variance Authority folks take themselves way too seriously. But hey, when you deal with timelines and stuff, I guess you have to be a stick in the ass. Ah, the wonders of being a merc. You get access to things you wouldn't normally get. And let me tell you, there was this one time I ended up at a Madison Beer concert. The perks, right? But then I had to go and do something stupid. I got too confident, and in that moment, I went and grabbed Madison's boobs. Yeah, not my finest moment. She slapped me for that, and rightfully so. I've learned my lesson though.

The scene suddenly shows Y/N at the concert until suddenly- he grabbed Madison's breasts as she gasped and slapped Y/N.

Y/N(V.O.): Well. After I shot myself that is-

Y/N shoots himself on stage.

Y/N (V.O): After that little incident, I decided I needed a change of scenery. So I did what any self-respecting merc would do — I took the most extreme vacation ever. I went ahead and shot myself. It may sound crazy, but it was a quick, effective way to get out of that mess. And trust me, when you've got an indestructible healing factor, a bullet to the head is just a minor inconvenience. And where did I go you ask? Well, after that little trip to the afterlife, I found myself in a peculiar kind of place. No, it wasn't heaven or hell — it was a little something called the TVA. That's right, the Time Variance Authority. And that's when my real story begins...

The scene fast forwards to the beginning where Y/N was killing the TVA as the scalene resumes showing Y/N bringing out Wolverine's claws.

Y/N (V.O): And there you have it, my not-so-brief backstory. From being a regular kid to an indestructible pain in the ass merc. From jumping off trees to causing chaos wherever I go. It's been a wild ride, but I wouldn't have it any other way. And here I am, face-to-face with what's left of the TVA, and a pair of claws that ain't mine. Life sure has a sense of humor, doesn't it? Okay, I've spilled enough beans about my past. Let's get back to the story at hand. Author, the stage is yours. Resume!

The scene resumes again as TVA soldiers charged at Y/N.

Y/N: Go time baby!

Y/N used wolverines claws to slash at the soldiers while stabbing them and dismembered them all before he stabbed one of them in the crotch and slammed them on the ground.

Y/N: HELL YEAH!

Y/N stabbed another TVA soldier in the crotch and tried removing the claws but only made matters worse.

TVA soldier 1: AHHHH- HES FUCKING ME WITH THE CLAWS!!!

TVA Soldier 2: MAKE IT STOP!!!

Y/N suddenly moved back and forth trying to get the claws out while making the soldiers scream and suffer more.

Y/N: I had no intentions for this!

TVA Captain: You fucking monster! Captain America would be ashamed if he saw this!

Y/N glared at him through his mask as he ripped the sometime skeleton off his arms and grabbed his katana and throwed it at the captain which lands in his eye. Y/N walks over to him.

Y/N: Get- my countries name- out your FUCKING MOUTH! And my sword-

He grabs his katana as the TVA Captain falls.

Y/N: Oh-

He stares at the camera.

Y/N: And I totally didn't just mock will smith. Oooookay! I need to find another timeline where my family's alive, where I can replace myself with myself, and where I can have a harem full of celebrities. The list of places to go is endless... the Marvel Universe, DC, Transformers... and oh boy, the possibilities in Dragon Ball are just- mouth waters at the thought

Author: Uhhhhh- Deadpool. That wasn't your li-

Y/N: ZIP IT HAPPY MEAL! You're ruining the moment! Now where was I—ah yes, the list of fictional worlds I'd love to kick ass in.

The scene transitions to a montage of Y/N traveling to other universes. First up- was mortal kombat 1 where Y/N was Wolverine.

Yes. This is Wolverine of outworld.

Y/N: Wow- I'm in mortal kombat! This is awesome!

???: Daddy???

Y/N turned to the right and sees a little girl.

Y/N: Woah, hold the phone! I'm Wolverine in Mortal Kombat, and now I'm seeing a little girl calling me "Daddy"? Is this some kind of plot twist or reality check?

Little girl: Where's my daddy?

Y/N: Uhhhhh... this is getting weirder by the second. Okay kid, hold on a sec while I get this sorted out.

Y/N turned to the camera.

Y/N (Whispering): Author, what the heck is happening here?

Snikt!

Y/N: He's right behind me isn't he.....?

Y/N sees his other version of himself which was him as Wolverine.

Y/N: I AM MARVEL JESUS AND I WILL NOT LET YOU-

The other Y/N suddenly stabbed his head with his claws and slashed his head off. Y/N is scene back again but this time he is in another timeline where he was the punisher and he had a celebrity harem.

Punisher reader x celebrity harem.

Y/N: Alright, now we're talking. I'm the Punisher with a harem of celebrities... this is a dream come true. Let's see who's part of the lineup, shall we?

Y/N sees Sabrina carpenter and starts getting ideas.

Y/N: Oh, look who we have here. It's Sabrina Carpenter, the adorable yet feisty pop star. And the best part is, she's here with me, as part of my celebrity harem. The possibilities... the possibilities are endless...

Y/N walks over to her while whistling.

Y/N: Hey gorgeous. What's your name?

Sabrina Carpenter: Smiles Hi there. I'm Sabrina Carpenter, nice to meet you. And you are?

Y/N: I'm Deadpool sweet cheeks! Or you can call me Y/N.

Sabrina: Huh- that's funny. My boyfriend's name is Y/N.

Y/N: Wait, your boyfriend's name is Y/N? That's a hilarious coincidence!

Y/N (Thinking to himself): This is priceless. My alternate self is her boyfriend, and now I get to make moves on her. This is like some kind of twisted fanfiction come to life.

???: Hey buddy.

Y/N freezes when he sees his alternate version of himself as the punisher holding a sledgehammer.

Y/N: Ohhhhhh fu-

The alternate Y/N swings the hammer launching Y/N into another universe. Y/N noticed madame web and her three spider warriors.

Y/N: Madame Web? That movie? No, thank you! I'd rather dive head first into a pit of venomous snakes than watch that garbage. Time to make a swift exit through this convenient portal.

Y/N jumps through the portal, thankful to be out of the Madame Web universe

Y/N: Phew, that was a close call. But now, where am I?

As Y/N looks around, he finds himself in a world he recognized all too well – Dragon Ball.

Y/N: Wait a second... is this the Dragon Ball Z universe? Oh boy, I've hit the jackpot here. Time to start training and unlocking my inner Saiyan power. I can already hear the theme song playing in the background... THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME-

Y/N suddenly gets killed by a meteor. The scene transitions to Y/N in another universe.

Y/N: Well- dragon ball was a no go. Alright, new universe, new opportunities. Let's see what this one's got in store for me.

Y/N finds himself in the Transformers universe.

Y/N: Woah, Transformers, huh? This is like a childhood dream come true. Time to buddy up with Optimus Prime and kick some Decepticon ass.

Optimus Prine: Decepticon detected-

Y/N: Wait what-

Optimus shoots Y/N killing him. The scene transitions to Y/N sighing as he enters another universe.

Y/N: Okay, here we go again. I wonder what universe I'll land in this time. Hopefully it won't involve getting shot by a beloved Autobot leader.

As Y/N steps through the portal, he finds himself in a completely different setting. It's a dark and gritty world filled with advanced technology, corporate power struggles, and neon lights. To his surprise, Y/N realizes he is standing in the city of Night City, the world of Cyberpunk.

Y/N: Cyberpunk?! Seriously? Don't get me wrong, I love cyberpunk aesthetics, but this place is like a neon-lit nightmare. I've gone from dealing with transforming robots to dealing with cybernetic implants and corpo wars. And let's not forget the inevitable chance of getting hacked and having my data stolen. This is going to be a wild ride, that's for sure. Wait a second... I just realized something. This is Cyberpunk after all. If there's one thing this world is known for, it's its mature content. And let's just say I do have a penchant for... enjoying that kinda stuff.

Y/N smirks, his dirty thoughts already running wild.

Y/N: Anyways- where's Panam? I need to slap that ass of hers and keep looking for universes!

A few moments later, Y/N stumbles upon the aldecaldos camp and looks around secretly and sees Panam bending over while fixing her truck.

Y/N: Oh boy, jackpot. There she is, Panam, the fierce and beautiful Aldecaldo badass with the moves I can't resist. And look at her, bent over like that, working on her truck. Oh yeah, this is gonna be good.

Y/N secretly admiring Panam before approaching her. Y/N sneaks up on her and looks at the camera.

Y/N: Alright, Author, you better be filming this. I'm about to turn on the charm and make Panam swoon.

Y/N smirks and approaches Panam from behind, unable to resist admiring the fine sight before him. Y/N chuckled and raised his hand.

Y/N: SUP BABE! He slaps her butt hard

Panam looked up and glared at him as Y/N smiled under his mask and waved.

Y/N: Hiiii~

The scene suddenly transitions to an explosion occurring as Y/N's body parts spread all over the place as Y/N's head lands in front of the camera.

Panam: PERV!

Y/N (V.O. Gasping for breath): Holy sh*t! That backfired in the worst way imaginable! One moment I was channeling my inner Casanova, and the next thing I know, my body's turned into a damn Jackson Pollock painting!

Y/N looks at the camera, a mixture of pain and disbelief in his eyes.

Y/N (V.O): Author, I swear to God, if you don't make this a quick respawn, I'm going to haunt your dreams forever.

Y/N is now scene in another timeline as he sees Anya Taylor Joy.

Y/N: Anya! Hey! Baby! I just wanna tell you- the other me is a psychopath! You should leave him!

A loud crash is heard behind me.

Y/N: He's behind me isn't he-

He turns around and sees his other self which was homelander.

Homelander reader x celebrity harem

Y/N: Ah crap, here we go again. I try to warn Anya about the other me, and instead, I get Homelander on my ass.

Y/N turns to the camera again.

Y/N: Author, why do you do this to me? I just want a chance with the damn celebrity of my dreams!

He suddenly gets lasered as blood splattered on the camera.

Other Y/N: I am- THE HOMELANDER!

Y/N enters through another universe.

Y/N: Alright, screw messing around. Time to get serious. I need to find my other self in this universe and put an end to all this nonsense. No more celebrity fantasies or laser-wielding homelander. Just me, killing me. Easy peasy.

Y/N cracks his knuckles and gets ready to hunt down his other self in the normal universe.

Y/N: Now, where the hell could I be in this universe? Let's find some clues.

Y/N starts looking around, searching for any signs of his other self.

Y/N: Okay, think...if I was my other self, where would I be? Probably somewhere ordinary, living a boring, typical life. Ugh, the thought of that makes me cringe.

Y/N continues searching through the normal universe, determined to find his other self.

Author: Hey Deadpool!

Y/N: Author! Finally, someone I can talk to. I've been getting killed left and right, from Dragon Ball to Night City. Can't I catch a break?

The author suddenly throws a giant paper at him.

Y/N: What the- Oh, what's this?

Y/N looks down at the giant paper thrown at him by the author.

Y/N: Actresses? Hold up... Author, are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?

Y/N looks at the actresses' names on the list, excitement growing, but trying to contain himself.

Y/N: A CELEBRITY HAREM?! Author, you damn legend! I've been killing my way through the multiverse, but this, this is what I've been wanting all along!

Y/N's eyes light up with excitement as he looks at the list of actresses.

Y/N: Scarlett Johansson- YES! Cho Yi-hyun- no idea who that is.... Margot Robbie- HELL YEAH! Dixie D'Amelio- author..... seriously?

Author: Just shut up and continue!

Y/N: Ana de Armas- wait...... she got fucked by John wick in that knock knock movie right? Sorry anyways- Alexandra Daddario, god damn she's hot! Selena Gomez- eh she's alright. Taylor Swift....... The future ladypool?! Dove Cameron, oh the girl from descendants! Sabrina Carpenter- that espresso girl right? She's banging hot! Mila Kunis, oh Meg griffin I presume! Alyssa Diaz. She's on the rookie! Anya Taylor- WHAT??!!! YESSSSS!! HALLELUJAH!!! Zendaya- huh? Isn't she taken by Tom- you know what fuck it. This is my story! Cree Cicchino- hmmmm...... she sounds- familiar. Salma Hayek- SALMA HAYEK??! THANK YOU AUTHOR!!!!! Sydney Sweeney, bad bitch! Madison Beer, Bad bitch! Hailee SteinField- bad bitch! And finally Peyton list- eh no idea why you added her but yeah sure. Author, you're a saint and a legend! A harem with all these gorgeous celebrities... this is better than anything I've ever hoped for! And don't worry about adding Peyton List, I won't question your choices.

Y/N's excitement is off the charts as he visualizes the glorious possibilities with his newfound celebrity harem.

Author: Thanks. But...... ummmmm-

Y/N: But what? What's wrong?

Y/N's excitement is dampened a bit by the author's uncertain tone. He looks at the author, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Author: Hehe..... y-you uhhhhh- you're gonna have to kill your past self if you wanna get your harem....

Y/N: Sighs Of course, there's a catch. I have to take down my past self to get my celebrity harem.

Y/N contemplates the task ahead but is determined to make it happen.

Y/N: Fine, I'll do it. Let's find my past self and end this once and for all. After that, I'm gonna enjoy every second with my new harem.

To be continued.....

Y/N: Great! There he goes again!