i long for more. behind hushed lips and shut eyes, i long for more. behind the curtain i’ve built of content sighs that hover over the ends of curved teeth, stretched wide and ruefully plastic, there’s a longing, a feeling, a hunger. (a need so vicious it’s almost shameful.)

a hunger so pronounced it left the corners of my eyes green, envy marked on each curve. a hunger so irrational it clawed on the bones of my back and left a bitter taste in my mouth; a hunger so real i fear it’ll come crawling out of my skin, raw and sick and twisted and full with a longing that rages 一 a hunger enough to burn the earth thin.

and i have not felt for something so strongly, not before, not for years, a starvation that corrupts ribs black and blue. an illness that steals whatever’s left of your breath, straight out of your lungs.

and i have questioned, heedlessly, a prayer:

what else have i been denied

when others

have everything?

(the echoing thoughts that fill the silence over cries at ungodly hours against the bathroom walls.)

03,
… dear eve.