Based on some old stories/old poems that I wrote in Portuguese. :P

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Yoongi POV

It's raining again...

I pressed my fingers against the cold glass right in front of me and took a deep breath. "I don't like this kind of weather..." I muttered weakly, without taking my eyes away from those painful raindrops rolling down through the filthy, but still transparent, barrier created between me and the other side of the window, the outside.

"This kind of weather makes me think..." I slowly clenched my hand, still with it in contact with that lifeless and cold surface. "I don't like to think... I hate to start thinking...!" I started forming a huge and really ugly frown on my already bad looking face.

"Why do I have to able to think?!" I screamed full of rage and felt like punching the glass right in front of me, just to let all my emotions out. But then, after seeing my reflex on the window and the expression I was doing at the moment, I somehow managed to stop myself from doing something stupid, that I would certainly regret later, and managed to calm myself down...

Dammit... Why all this again...?

I sighed, after taking my hand away from that cold and piercing sensation and letting it fall emotionless on my table. "My mind has been so messed up lately..." I mumbled under my breath. "Everything has been so messed up lately...!" I brought my hands to my head, to then ruffle my hair frustrated and slowly start letting my thoughts taking over my mind.

Again...

I glanced over the window and the rain wasn't giving any signs to stop. Drop by drop, the streets started inundating with the sky's tears that used to be so pure and beautiful. The lifeless cement kept erasing the raindrops' path to a better place, to their true place, where they belong...

Helpless and trapped, that now disgusting and dirty water just stayed there without having where to go, while the people continued stepping on it, without showing any mercy or emotion.

Again...

That ugly grey color stayed there taking over the view and washing away all the happy and bright colors that used to exist there before. Ugly now, happy and bright before... Wait...

Ugly...?

Happy...?

Bright...?

Did I just say these words...? Did I just dare to let my mouth let out such things...? Who am I to even have the right to call something ugly...? Or to call things happy too...? Or even bright...? Such words like ugliness, happiness and brightness only transmit irony - and even emptiness - when they leave my mouth...

And again...

How ironic of me to dare to say ugliness, when I'm the ugliest thing ever seen...

How ironic of me to dare to say happiness, when the closest thing to ever make me happy were the lies I told myself...

And how ironic of me to say brightness, when I passed almost all my life running unconsciously from the light and locking myself inside dark rooms. Yeah, rooms just like this one... Just like this freezing and colorless bedroom that I'm inside right now and that I'm too afraid to leave...

Why...?

Another sigh... And here it goes again... I know this isn't healthy, I know that I will regret this, but my mind just keeps going on, and on, and on... These heavy thoughts, numb feelings, keep draining my energy and life, but I just can't stop them now... And soon... I guess there won't be any turning back anymore...

...

After a while of me looking blankly to the wall next to me, in that painfully quiet room, I focused my mind in one of those raindrops that kept making a disharmonious and weak trail of water through the glass like any other...

To think that there's a drop, in every rain, that reaches the floor before any other and that has the chance to see the sky start crying...

To think that there's a different raindrop that has the chance to know herself better and to know what's the rain, the drops, everything that's happening right above her...

To think that there's a little special form of water that has the chance to feel things that not any other like her felt... And lastly...

...To think that there's one in all other raindrops that has the chance to realize that all that, in the end, it's meaningless...

It's painful...That unique existent knows that all that is painful... And so, she starts getting tired of watching it and just turns back to a raindrop like any other, to just water... She decides to give up on her ability to see, feel and be different, to never have to suffer with those depressive thoughts again...

She gives up on everything to never have to see that painfully empty and sad view, to hide the truth that she is too afraid to believe in it... And, just like that, she takes away the meaning of her own being...

...But I don't censure her... Even because I think I kinda get that one raindrop... There are things we shouldn't ever see, hear, feel, know... Or else, everything will change totally to something way more different... Everything will turn into a much darker and way more depressive place... The truth sometimes should just stay hidden from everyone and never be revealed to anyone... Yes, it's okay to live in a lie, in my opinion...

...However, unfortunately, I can't live like that anymore... Like that one rain drop, I saw things that looked majestic and breathtaking in the beginning, but then the cold and harsh truth came...

Now, live in a lie, it's no longer possible for me, even for much I want and keep trying to do that... One time seen the truth, you lose totally the ability to believe in a lie, to close your eyes from the severe reality...

...Because now, even if you close your eyes shut and pretend to not see anything, the image you're trying to erase will keep popping in your mind... It's just useless to keep trying... So, I stopped trying...

In the other hand, me and the drop aren't exactly the same... The only difference between me and that unique existence is that she actually got the courage to shut down her mind, to blind herself, to give up on being special and to try to be happy... So, in summary...

She got the courage to take her life, when I didn't...

...

Well, at least for now...

Yeah, yeah... You may think I'm stupid or dumb for feeling like this, but do I have any other choice? Tell me you, there's any purpose in living a meaningless life? Yes, there's isn't...

...So, I see that character's last decision like something brave, because, even if you say the opposite, all she was doing was looking for her happiness... And maybe she actually managed to find what she was looking for so desperately... Well, at least, that's what I want to believe in...

...Because I want to believe I can be happy too...

I shook my head, to try to take my mind out of those thoughts, and, after failing miserably, I looked back to window. I saw people passing, walking slowly, quickly, on the other side of the glass.

Strangers. People that have a story, their own story, shared with other people, with their beloved ones. So many stories that only a few people will get their chance to know and even be in them... So many stories that many people will never get a chance to know, people like me...

"But they don't need worry, because that's the point of life. They may not know many people, but they have their own stories and the stories of their beloved ones, being like that every story unique and special. That's why people like me don't need... To... Worry...?" I thought at first, but then the harsh truth hit me painfully right away...

"What am I saying...? I don't have a story... I don't belong in anyone's story neither in anyone's life... I'm not important to anyone..." I whispered weakly, but somehow still kinda loudly, as, in that place, where it could be heard the sound of the wild storm from outside, any other sound stood out so much...

I took a deep breath and kept looking coldly to outside, watching the people walking away and the rain destroying the beauty that used to exist there before. All of that looked so empty, so meaningless now... Just like me, my life...

Meaningless, that was the word that described everything, my surrounding and my life, the best... And that was the word that kept giving me the darkest thoughts and making me think in things I shouldn't ever think... But now it's too late anyway to regret anything... I already accepted how I feel and what I want to do... And that's why I already made my final decision...

"It's not worth it to live a meaningless life..." I muttered, taking my tired gaze off the window and putting in on the dusty floor. "It's not worth it anymore... I should just do what my mind is telling me... I should just-"

"Yoongi..." I suddenly heard a weak voice calling behind me and I felt a familiar hand touching my shoulder carefully. I turned my head to the side, to look at the person that just stayed there quiet with a worried smile. "Jimin... For how long have you been here...?" I asked him and then he didn't manage to force his broken smile anymore...

"Time enough..." He whispered and hugged me tightly, without showing signs of letting me go. "Hey, Jimin... What are you doing...?" I pushed him slightly to be able to look at his face, but he only hugged me tighter and hid his face on my neck. "Jimi-"

"Don't ever say that again..." He interrupted me with his weak voice. "What...?" I whispered back and a sad, but comfortable, silence started surrounding us, along with the sound of rain from outside. Before I could even realize what I was doing, I found myself sliding my arms around his waist and pulling him closer in a tight and firm hug. Only after a while, he decided to break the silence...

"Don't say that you don't belong to anyone's story and to anyone's life or that you aren't important to anyone ever again..." He told me and I started hearing him sobbing quite loudly. It didn't take too long to feel my shoulder wet with his tears...

"Hey, Jiminie... Why are you crying...?" I tried to speak with the most comforting tone of voice possible, to calm him down at least a bit, but his sobs only got louder... "Because you aren't crying..." He answered and pierced his fingers on my back, with strength, but still carefully to not hurt me.

"Why did you never tell me that you felt like this...? Please, don't hide those thoughts from me ever again... Please, don't have those thoughts ever again..." He suddenly pressed his lips against mine, to create a passionate kiss, which we only broke when we were in need to for air.

"...Because I need you in my story, in my life... You're the most important person in my life..." He finished saying with a faint smile.

Yeah, I remember now... I remember why I still didn't take my life and tried to gain "that similar kind of happiness to the one I'm looking for"... It's because of him, it's because he's here... It's because he cares about me and stays by my side all the time... It's because I felt in love with him and I'm too afraid to lose him...

It's because he never fails to save me in my worst times, when I feel like just giving up on everything... It's because he always manages to erase my dark thoughts and give me a reason to smile... It's all because of him, it's all because...

...He gives me a reason to keep living...

And now it was my turn to do something I never had done in front of anyone before... Yes, I started crying in front of him... But it's not something I regret doing though... I already decided to not hold back my tears, to not hide my thoughts and emotions when I'm with him, ever again...

...Because I know that all those things will only make him worried, sad, and will hurt him even more... And I don't want none of that to happen... I don't want to do those things to the only thing I still hold dear, the person I love the most... So, that's why I won't ever do that again...! That's why I already made up my mind...!

"Yoongi, you're crying...?" He loosened up the hug to look at me with a his eyes widened in shock. "Y-yeah, sorry..." I decided to just admit it, as it was really obvious that I was crying, and I started wiping the tears that were rolling down through my cheeks nonstop.

However, he held my wrists, to take my hands away from my eyes and stop me from wiping them, and he gave me a sweet and true smile.

"Finally." He said with his special eye smile and it was that one word that made me burst in tears, without being able to stop crying anymore...

Yeah, finally...

"A-ah, sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry more!" He apologized when he noticed a huge quantity of tears falling from my eyes. "Idiot... " I whispered with a faint smile and he shouted a playful "Hey!", followed by his cute chuckles and eye smile that never failed to make me happy.

I ended up by chuckling too and, before starting kissing him deeply and with all my true feelings, the rain started gaining color, life and happiness, and I whispered that last sentence...

"Why do you keep giving meaning to my life...?"

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YES, I FINISHED THIS IN TIME! \(>-<)/ XD

I hope you enjoyed. ^-^

Bye ~(*-*~)

- Danielar