I'm free as a bird
When I'm flying in your cage
I'm diving in deep
And I'm riding with no brakes
And I'm bleeding in love
You're swimming in my veins
___________________

PEOPLE LIKE describing touch with sparks and butterflies. And yes, it's those things. But I've always felt like there's more. Can this feeling even be boxed inside simple words like "sparks" and "butterflies"?

When you're in that moment, you don't want to care. Cause all you see is him. All you feel is him. All you breathe in is him. And it's so captivating and exhilarating that every kiss feels like the first one.

And it's been months now since we've been together. But I don't think it's ever been this clear that I was so deeply in love with everything that he was.

He was real. Not an illusion. And he was mine.

It started as a feeble crush. A bubbly feeling. A childish squeal of delight. An awkward glimpse. He was someone new and exciting. But the feeling grew more real and intense over time. You know you're in love when you feel safe and comfortable in his arms. When being with him made you love yourself more. An intoxicating feeling. A beautiful hum of delight. An affectionate glance.

He still wanted to kiss me. Even after what I did to him. He had more faith in us than I've ever had.

Don't let it slip through your fingers! She told me.

So I won't.

I kissed him one last time, before pulling away. My hands stayed on both sides of his face and I stroked his cheek gently. He was smirking ever so lightly, as if saying I knew you'd come back.

"Is this okay?" I asked.

"Hm?"

I squeezed my eyes shut. "Do I get another chance after how bad I hurt you?- and I know I hurt you so badly, Carlos. I get it if you don't want to-"

Then I felt his hand on my cheek, and I automatically opened my eyes again.

He said very slowly and clearly "Brae, I would rather have you break my heart over and over again, than be with anyone else."

I smiled, then leaned against his hand and hummed in content.

"I'm never doing that to you again." I said with the certainty of my entire being.

He laughed. "Please don't..." He paused, then turned to me with another smirk. "Baby."

"Ugh." I swatted him away and he bursted into laughter. "No. No. Disgusting." I stood up and playfully placed my hands on my hips. "You know I hate it when couples call each other baby. No offense to them, but baby only works in love songs."

He was doubling over in laughter. "So no cliche stuff, love?"

"To an extent, I guess? But you already know that."

Well, at least he should know. Why else would he be calling me love instead of baby? He knew me more than anyone. I couldn't help but smile at him.

Suddenly there was a scuffle of leaves and we looked down to the lake to see Mal and Ben with a picnic basket. I slapped my hand against my forehead, realizing this is the enchanted lake Mal always talked about. Carlos turned to me, surprised. I motioned for him to leave, not wanting to interrupt Mal and Ben's date.

But just as Carlos was about to scramble onto his feet, he slipped off the small cliff.

Mal and Ben was startled when a boy fell from the sky and dropped into the water near them with a giant splash. I gasped, arm outstretched, then started laughing hysterically.

"Carlos? Brae?" Mal spotted me. "What the heck?"

Carlos resurfaced, completely soaked. Now this is my favorite kind of "no cliche stuff".

"Hi." Carlos panted, smiling sheepishly at Mal, "Sorry. I fell off that cliff over there."

"We weren't spying! To be fair, we were here first." I added.

"Oh my god, you two." Mal laughed.

I navigated my way down the cliff and around the lake to help Carlos out. He was laughing the whole time.

"You good, man?" Ben called.

Carlos rubbed his eyes, then gave Ben a thumbs up. His hair was dripping wet.

I grabbed his hand, then turned to Mal and Ben. "Sorry! Go on with your date." I shouted, before leading Carlos away.

Carlos grinned at me. "So much for sneaking away."

"You're pathetic. I'm never letting you near cliffs again." I grinned back, "Are you cold?"

"A little. Let's just go back to your place. It's closer..." Another childish grin graced his features. "Last one there is a rotten apple!"

Before I could even open my mouth to respond he was off with the wind.

And the highlight of my day was running alongside him as we repeatedly stumbled over our feet. He was giggling more boyishly than ever, occasionally turning back to flash me a toothy smile. His soul was bright and cheery and it radiated. His laugh was the most beautiful sound in the whole world.

How did I deserve him? I'd spend the rest of my life wondering.

Evie was very confused when I came through the door asking for "the biggest towel we have". She was even more confused when it turned out to be for Carlos, completely drenched from head to toe.

"What happened?" She asked as I lead Carlos to the bathroom.

"Just him being the idiot he is." I said lightly.

Carlos snorted. "You're so funny."

Evie looked at both of us, then an amused smile appeared on her face. "So you two are finally together again."

Carlos and I exchanged glances, then smiled simultaneously.

"Yeah. I guess we are." He answered, "Brae. I think I need to borrow my own clothes from your closet."

Once I tossed (or aggressively threw at his face) his clothes in the bathroom, I went back to my room to see Emma sprawled out on my bed.

"You're reading." I noted.

She put the book down. "You have good books."

I laughed, sitting down next to her. "Those are Mal's actually." I watched her. She looked a little sad. "What's wrong?"

"I've never lived away from home before." Emma confessed, "It's strange. I get why mom's moving though. And I get why being here would do me good."

I smiled. "Come here." And I enveloped her in a hug.

"Is it weird that I'm more comfortable with you than her?" Emma asked.

I gave it a moment of thought, then answered. "Not necessarily. I think near-death experiences bring people closer together." I joked, making her chuckle, "By the way, you didn't tell her about you going to the Isle, right?"

She leaned back against the pillows. "No way. She'd freak."

"So you didn't tell her about Celia either?"

She froze for a second, then laughed it off. "What?"

"Yep. When I went upstairs to fetch you two, you were definitely not kissing her." I continued casually.

Emma dropped the act and started nervously playing with her thumbs. "You're okay with it?" She said quietly.

"Okay with you kissing a girl?" I grinned, "Heck. Of course I am. Love who you wanna love."

I saw her relax after that, then she explained "I just don't usually get to meet people my age. And obviously I've never had my first kiss. So... I guess I'd rather kiss someone I would never see again. Just to get it over with. And Celia was really up for it."

I laughed. "Of course she was." I gave her a friendly push on the shoulder. "Props to you for being brave enough to kiss someone you just met in their own bedroom."

Emma grinned. "Thank you. I throughly enjoyed it." She replied dramatically.

"Okay, you little scrunch!" I said, standing up and covering my ears, "That's all I ever wanna hear about my sister's love life. You hear me? That's it."

"Good." Emma called at me, giggling as I took a giant leap out the door, "Cause I don't plan on sharing!"

_____________________
Hi I'm cooking spinach tortellini as I publish this