XXXXXXXX=my name but the letters redacted for privacy

My memes
Me:WHOOO *fucking wasted*
Bar guy: yeah it's time to pay for your drinks
Me: I thought pretty girls didn't have to pay?
Bar guy: exactly

Mum:GO TO YOUR ROOM
in the room
Me:🎵NO PLACE I'D RATHER BE!!!!!

joesgf69 : hey whatcha looking at?
Me:oh nothing *on the screen 'how to murder your roommate or friend*
joesgf69 :*running * ITS NOT FUCKING FUNNY!!!!
Me:COME ON I JUST WANNA PLAY!! =)

This was ages ago but fuck it it's funny
Me: your so cute~
She-who-shall-not-be-named: aw thanks bestie
In my head: welcome to the friend zone, a place where ppl hang out and don't get laid

Ok back to now
Me&joesgf69 :BEACH DAY!!!
joesgf69 :tanning!
Me:sandcastles!
joesgf69 :jogging! (Not realistic sorry am XD)
Me:stealing ppls wallets while they swim!
joesgf69: no XXXXXXXX!

Me:ok am, what is this? *holding a picture of a pumpkin*
joesgf69: a sweet potato
Me: oh my god....

Me:*driving*
Me&joesgf69 :88 BOTTLES OF MULK OM THE WALL!
Me:*notices a spider*
Me:*jumps out the car*
joesgf69 : AHHHHHHHH!!!!

Me:WHATS IN THE BAG?! *pointing a gun*
Malfoyisnotonfire : Deeze nuts
Me:ok dude you good to go *puts the gun away*

Me:they said I would never amount to anything, and that I'll never accomplish my dreams.. boi where they right

Me:is this my friend? *picks up joesgf69 *
Society:nothing is your friend!
Me:they ask you how you are and you have to say that your fine but your not fine but you can't tell anybody cos they would never understand

Me:how to have friends the 'normal way'
joesgf69 : BISH WADDUP
Malfoyisnotonfire :Hoi! Can we watch anime now?
Me:YASSSSS!!!!
Me:how to have friends my way
joesgf69 *talking to some guy*
Later
Me:I murdered this guy!!!
Some guy: X-X

Undertale memes!
Nightmare: your son has some behavioural issues
Error: rEaLlY? hOw So?
Nightmare:as you can see- *turns the slide and it's nightmare x dream*
Error&paperjam:*running* ALRIGHT WE GOT HIM LETS GO!!!!

Dream:🎵SO ONE LAST TIME!-
Nightmare:*gets out his tentacles*
Hope:nu *magic happenes and they disappear*

Cross:your going to love the toys at smiths!
Lust:*fucking a buzz light year toy*
Cross&hope:ACTUALLY LETS JUST GO