Rich [to Elizabeth]: Alright. Give me your hair dryer.

Elizabeth: What? What are you talking about?

Rich: Don't you carry one in your purse?

Elizabeth: Have you ever met a human woman?

[Later]

Rich [to Chloe]: Hey. Do you carry a hair dryer in your purse?

Chloe: Of course. I'm not an animal.

_______________________________________________________

Jeremy: I've tried everything to get her attention. Opening doors, having a milk sent over in the cafeteria. Nothing has worked.

SQUIP: Here's the deal. Girls don't go for all that romantic stuff. They go for power and success, and since you don't have either one of those things... you're gonna be the funny guy.

_______________________________________________________

Jake: Good afternoon. Are you in need of any assistance today, miss?

Elizabeth: No.

Jake: I could help you cross the street.

Elizabeth: No.

Jake: I could help you cross over the yard.

Elizabeth: No.

Jake: I could help you cross the corridor.

Elizabeth: No!

[Closes the door on Jakes's foot]

Jake: Ow.

_______________________________________________________

[Sharaug glares at SQUIP.]

Jeremy: You're not still mad at him, are you?

Sharaug: I'm always mad at him.

_______________________________________________________

"I feel like a proud mama hen whose baby chicks have learned to fly!"

-Michelle when she sees Michael and Elizabeth together

_______________________________________________________

SQUIP: You are literally too stupid to insult.

Jeremy: Thank you

_______________________________________________________

Michelle: Tell Michael

Elizabeth: No

Michelle: What do you mean "no"?

Elizabeth: I mean no. You wanna hear it in Spanish? NOH.

_______________________________________________________

SQUIP: I've got something bad in me. I ruin things.

_______________________________________________________

Jeremy: Sorry, I make bad jokes when I'm nervous

Elizabeth: So....are you always nervous?

_______________________________________________________

Rich [thinking to himself]: Tell her how you feel without sounding like a girl.

Rich [out loud, to Michelle]: I miss you so much it hurts sometimes.

_______________________________________________________

SQUIP: I don't even have time to tell you how wrong you are.

SQUIP:

SQUIP:

SQUIP: Actually, it's gonna bug me if I don't.

_______________________________________________________

Michael: ...You have no sense of fashion...

Jeremy: I think that depends on-

Michael: No, no, that wasn't a question.

_______________________________________________________

Michelle: Whoa! We made it?

Rich: I carried you while you took a nap.

_______________________________________________________

Jeremy: I did a bad thing.

Elizabeth: Does it affect me?

Jeremy: . . .No

Elizabeth: Then suffer in silence.

_______________________________________________________

Jeremy: I want to roll my eyes right now, but the SQUIP says that if I keep doing it, my ocular muscles might spasm and eject my eyeballs.

_______________________________________________________

Michelle: Wait a minute! You don't go TOWARDS the weird scary sound!

Elizabeth: Yeah we do. We always do.

Michelle: I hate that about us.

_______________________________________________________

Michelle: What I'm about to tell you is gonna make you wanna kill me.

Elizabeth: I'm not gonna kill you. It takes too much time to break in a new best friend.

_______________________________________________________

Elizabeth belongs to Choco_Corpation

Sharaug belongs to Sharaug