CHAPTER FIFTEEN || TERMINUS

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"This is fucking Stupid." Josh sighed as he sat on the floor of what could only be described as their Cell, Yet it seemed to be more of a train car. Josh's head laid in his hands as he scolded himself for being so naive and thinking there was actually a chance of things going right for once, his stomach churned as he tried to fathom what he was supposed to do now... where he was supposed to go now.

"we're gonna get out of here alright kid." Alex sighed looking between the group before she got up again, running a hand through her hair needing to find a way out. They needed to find a way out.  yet getting out wasn't what Josh was worried about. The deal was getting him to Terminus... and it was the opposite of what he'd hoped it would be... was he going to end up alone again? 

Alex searched again her breathing almost erratic as She looked around the confined space, looking for any lock she could pick, Anything she could use to get out. Rick wasn't here, there was no sign he ever was, if he was still out there she had to get to him, she had to get Glenn safe. She couldn't stay in this box.

"that's the fourth time you've searched Lex. There's nothing in here" Eli said knowingly. Alex shook her head as she leant against the wall, The darkness of the room getting the better of her As she looked across the room focusing in on Glenn and Eli as her heart began to race.

11 people in the small room. Alex looked around her vision blurring as she took a deep breath closing her eyes. She could feel it, Her chest erupting. The walls. they were closing in on her. her heart pounded violently against her chest as she felt her surroundings begin to change.

"Alex, hey lex" Eli walked toward her instantly noticing the change in her demeanour, Glenn following as he noticed her breathing change. Alex's eyes screwed shut as she was back in that room, back there, Water filling her sinuses, Filling her lungs. The pain in her back. She was there. in that small room. alone.

"Lex open your eyes okay look at me." Eli countered as Glenn reached for Alex's hands, Despite the dread filling her stomach her fingers automagically intertwined with his. prying her eyes open they locked with Eli's blue ones. her eyes darted between the two men trying to keep her from going back to those moments, despite her lungs heaving for oxygen she remembered she was with them.

"sam. what's happening?" Josh asked looking over at the freckled man whose eyes were glued on Alex as the two men tried bringing her back wishing he could do something to help, yet he knew having too many people around her would only do the opposite. prying his eyes from Alex h looked to his right locking eyes with Josh, whose expression was laced with confusion and worry. 

"She was in the army remember kid.. this stuff happens, just let Glenn and Eli help" Sam explained quietly trying to keep his explanation vague, he himself didn't know enough about her PTSD to help but the other two did.

"I can't- I can't-" Alex gasped quietly trying to catch her breath as she let go of Glenn's hand rubbing her chest, Her lungs constricting refusing to let in oxygen, her hands trembled as she desperately tried catching her breath, the two men in front of her becoming disfigured as her vision blurred. 

"yes you can Lex, I'm here now okay? you're safe remember, you're with me I got you" Eli reassured his concerned eyes meeting hers as she forced herself to look at him... Eli. She was with Eli... she was safe enough...

"Count lex... I'm not gonna let anything happen to you." Glenn whispered his soft voice making her eyes meet his as she gripped his wrist and began counting. he counted with her as she tried to focus all of her attention on his voice, how much she loved him.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

her breathing began to slow as she gripped Glenn's wrist, The dread in the pit of her stomach slowly fading. As the feeling of water covering her body began to dissipate as her eyes flickered between the two people who meant the most to her. aside from her family Glenn and Eli were her boys.

"there you go Lex, you've got it.. just keep counting. We're not gonna let anything happen." Eli reassured as her mind calmed, Her vision still blurred as she looked between the two men that calmed her quickly together before the full attack even started.

"Sorry.." her breath caught in her throat as she reached out for Glenn, His arm going to its rightful place around her waist pulling her into his side. Eli shook his head as Alex reached for his hand squeezing it gently as a silent thank you.

"don't ever apologise, thought I drilled that into you" he smiled squeezing her hand gently before he let go, Shame flooding her body as she turned into Glenn's body hugging him, taking a deep breath she basked in him, his scent, his warmth. he was home. he was comfort, and that's what she needed

"you're okay beautiful, I'm not going to let anyone hurt you, I promise.." Glenn whispered his voice almost silent as he gently rubbed Alex's back. the embarrassment everyone had seen her experience yet another flashback, Another panic attack making her feel guilty. Her thoughts lingered on the times she'd been kidnapped before. 

Afghanistan

Woodbury

the ghost of the governor's fingers never left. she felt them. She felt them more often than she felt Glenn's soft touch.

Sighing she leant into Glenn's touch knowing the people with her, They were her people, Despite the fact she didn't know Tara she didn't know Eugene. Eli trusted him, And Glenn trusted her. And that was good enough for Alex. Glenn gently rubbed her back as she looked down to see Josh staring up at her with a look of worry, the evident fear in his eyes had grown after seeing Alex's attack. he gave her the same look Sam had when he'd first witnessed one of Alex's attacks and it made her stomach churn with guilt.

"we're gonna be okay alright Josh? I promise" Alex offered him a small smile despite the pain in her Chest. She needed to believe it too. She needed to believe everything was going to be okay, and that somehow she'd find her family.

Silence returned consuming the group as each person tried to think of some way they could possibly escape... After what felt like hours of waiting, Waiting for something to happen. something did. Gunshots echoed through the small room Making both Alex and Glenn jump to their feet.

"what the fuck" Josh exclaimed his Shock causing the foul language to escape his lips as he looked between the adults that surrounded him for answers. Alex pressed her ear against the wall of the train car they were being held in as she tried to focus her hearing. She could hear muffled shouting, Yet the dialogue was inaudible.

"I can't understand what they're saying" Alex huffed Glenn followed her actions trying to understand what was going on outside yet he couldn't understand Either. Alex's heart pounded against her chest, blood rushing against her ears as the gunfire stopped and the group shared a string of concerned looks.

Until they heard the metal rattling of the door Glenn, Eli and Sam edged their way in front of the rest of the group in a protective manner as Alex pushed Josh behind her as she stood just behind Glenn not wanting him to get hurt. her hands grew clammy as the light from outside shone in from the open door.

She peered between Glenn and Eli to see three figures walk inside before the door closed swiftly behind them, Recognising the shadow of the familiar sheriff's hat she stepped forward pushing her way through Glenn, Sam and Eli. her heart skipping a beat.

"Rick?" She questioned the darkness making it more difficult to make out their faces, yet as he stepped Closer she saw him. A smile immediately showed on her face as relief washed through her. he was actually alive. She knew it. Hope really was the strongest thing of all. 

"Alex" He sighed pulling the girl into a hug, Carl quickly Joined the hug, Each one of her arms wrapping around them, the same relief she'd felt a year ago rushing back as she clung to her family thankful, they were okay. she couldn't do this again, they could only defy the odds a few times before the world came crashing down. 

"I'm so glad you guys are okay" She sighed into her uncle's shoulder as she held them Close, thankful. Both her cousin and uncle clung to her like their lives depended on it until she realised something... Pulling away from them her eyes flickered to the arms of each of them, Carl, Rick, Michonne,  Daryl... her heart dropped to her stomach.

"Judith?" She questioned unsure if she wanted to know the answer, She noticed the way Carl's eyes shifted from hers as Rick slowly shook his head unsure, a sadness that lingered in his eyes from Lori showed all too quickly to Alex as she swallowed the bile that had risen in her throat... her promise to Lori. she promised she'd look after them, Now Judith was gone... Lori was gone... 

The rest of the group behind Alex now stepping forward, Rick's face dropped as he caught sight of the Tall blonde boy Who'd saved his niece's life. Alex stood almost as if frozen in time as her mind flickered to Lori's last words, everything around her fading into nothingness as her uncle noticed Eli.

"Eli Moore. Jesus Christ kid" Rick Chuckled in disbelief the boy was Alive he pulled him into a hug patting his back as he did, Carl looked up at his cousin a look in his eyes Alex recognised, A look she never wanted to see in Carl's eyes. Something had happened...

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A/N- I low-key think this chapter is awfulll, but it's okay as I know some of the best chapters are coming and I'm so excited for that. 

thank you all so much for reading I really appreciate comments and feedback id love to hear what you all think. I cant stop editing josh rn I cant wait for you guys to see 17 year old josh, some of you will probably love him as much as carl