Me: *pats face* All done *finishes with cherry lipbalm*

My empty wine-flavoured, favourite lipbalm: *crying in the corner*

Me: *looks at the mirror* Jeez, you're so pretty!!

Me: Oh...oh my *blushes* you think so??

Me: Yeah! You must have lots of boyfriends!

Me: 😃Not really, just 57

Me: Uh...

Me: Um...minus 57

Me: *nervously smiles* That makes sense

Me: Excuse me?!

Me: I-i mean, damn!

Me: Are you hitting on me?

Me: ... I'll hit you with a helicopter!

Me: You have a helicopter?!

Me: ....

Me: *sighs* This sounds so lame, wtf am I saying??!!

.
.
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Souley: *creeped out*

Souley: Can we finally go tuition if you're done with that shit....? 💀

[Souley: In case you don't know/don't remember, She is my subconscious/spirit guide/guardian angel]

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