YiJun's POV

I had already made too many errors over the past few days: I had bent the rules I had set for myself, I had given in to my feelings, I had misled Xian into believing that he could have whatever he wished.

It had to stop. I had to stop, for listening to my heart would only bring pain and devastation. I couldn't afford that.

When Xian had left the tent and wandered off, I had felt the shadow of an unclean lurk near me. I had felt like I was wrong in thinking that my aura won't attract undesirable beings towards me this far removed from human settlements.

I was right, for barely seconds later, when I had attempted to follow Xian, and an unclean had appeared in front of me, stopping me from following him.

As the wayward soul took form, it's stench filled the air, almost choking me.

It floated closer. Its pale grey eyes devoid of life, examined me; I pretended that I could not see it.

I knew that if it touched me, the underworld would be made aware of my existence in this realm. I couldn't afford that.

I knew that if it got a whiff of Xian's scent, it would possess him. I couldn't let that happen either.

The only solution was, therefore, to kill it. But I needed my sword for that, the same one that was lying hidden, back at home!

Having run out of options, I decided to use my deadliest weapon: My wings.

Crouching down, I pretended to pick up a twig, hoping that the unclean would drop its guard. I didn't want it to know what hit it; or who I was. I just wanted it to stop existing.

As hoped, the unclean had focused its attention on the twig; it was always easy to distract them.

Grabbing the chance, I unfurled my wings and took a one-eighty turn, running my blade-like-wings across its middle.

Thankfully, my move had worked. The unclean had disappeared, just as it had appeared: without leaving any signs of it having existed.

I was relieved for a moment, but then I realized that I had failed to follow Xian. I took out my phone, only to notice that there was no reception in these woods.

Panicking, I had run in all four directions one by one, only to keep returning to the campsite, hoping that Xian would have returned unharmed.

It was driving me crazy: not knowing where he was. Was he safe? Could he find his way back to the campsite? Would he want to return to me?

I kept calling his name, repeating it like a prayer. As seconds turned into minutes, I became desperate and started losing hope; I cursed myself.

Why did I have to promise him that I will do what he wished?

The answer came to me almost instantly; I wanted to make him happy; I wanted to see him smile at me; because I was weak for his smiles.

But what had my desires gotten me, except for failures?

What if something happens to Xian?

What will I tell Meimei? How will I face her?

How will I continue to exist, knowing that the reason for my existence is gone, I thought, continuing to yell his name, and then I heard it. I heard him.

I ran towards the sound of my name and found Xian running towards me.

Peace.

I embraced him, and after making sure that he was alright, I told him that we needed to leave. I didn't tell him why I had changed my mind all of a sudden, and he was upset. But I didn't care; I couldn't afford to.

After conveying my decision to him, I returned to the tent to pack up. But unlike earlier, he challenged me. He refused to comply again and again. But I held my ground.

That is till he mentioned his second wish and my heart started pounding.

***

I try hard not to answer him; I purse my lips and close my eyes. But I can't not hear it: The Voice.

"Yes..." I whisper, giving in. It would probably have been better to end myself rather than answer him. But alas, I can't. At least not until I have made sure Xian is protected and well take care of; after all, he is mine to protect and serve.

"Jun, " he calls me, and I can't bring myself to look at him. "I am sorry," He adds and holds my wrist, "Please, look at me," he begs.

I am angry at myself; at the way, my heart aches for him, and I take the bitterness I feel for myself out on him. "Or what? Will you use your voice again? Make me do things against my will!"

"Jun, that's not... "

"'That's not' what? Do you think you are old enough to make decisions? Do you know who I was before you came along? Do you know what you are!?"

"Jun... " He tries to interrupt, but I don't stop.

"You are not stupid. You know what that voice does to me! And yet, you continue to use it. You continue to make me do things against my will! You ask for things I can't consent to; don't want to consent to!"

I watch as his brows crease and mouth part. He lets go of my wrist and turns away. "I am sorry. I am sorry for everything that I have put you through," he pauses and adds in a small voice, "and for existing."

What!? NO!

I stop to think about all the things I had said in the spur of the moment. And the meaning behind them hits me like a bullet to the heart.

What did I do!?

"Xian, that is not what..." I start, trying to make him understand that I didn't mean those words, but he shakes his head.

"Let us go back." He suggests, his voice breaks on the last word.

He is crying.

What have I done!?

"A Xian, " I wrap my arms around his middle and pull him close, "I didn't mean those words. I was just angry at you for not listening to me." I explain, but he shakes his head yet again.

"No, I can see that you are here, with me, against your will. I have already taken much from you against your consent. I don't want to do that anymore."

"Xian," I call and turn him in my arms.

I shouldn't have done that.

His tear-streaked face, his quivering lips, his dark orbs that hold pain; his everything, it calls to me. And without thinking about the consequences, I lean in and place my cold lips on his warm ones.

Full...Crimson...Mine.

I hear him gasp, and my mind clears up.

What did I do!?

I lean away at once and search his eyes; he stares at me: Scared, unblinking. He shakes his head and moves away from me. "I didn't make you do it, Jun. Trust me. I didn't. I didn't." He repeats, begging me to believe him.

I know he didn't make me do it. But to admit that he didn't would mean that I did it of my own accord. And that would be worse. For if he knew my heart's deepest, most impure desire, he would hate me. I can't let him hate me; I won't.

So I don't tell him that I believe him. I don't reassure him that he didn't do anything wrong. I look at him like I had seen people do when they wanted to show that they don't believe whatever is being told, without words.

Xian keeps trying to prove his innocence, and I keep staring. I keep lying without lying.

Vile, aren't I?

After a while, Xian gives up and mutters an apology, and I nod, accepting it. He turns his back towards me again and starts packing.

I can't allow that: him looking away from me, rejecting me. I put a hand on his shoulder and turn him to face me.

Look at me, Xian. Only me.

He looks at me for a split second before lowering his eyes, "I already apologized. What do you want now?" He asks dejectedly.

You. Always only you, Xian.

"I know; I already accepted it. Earlier, you were going to put forward your second wish?" I ask, and he nods but remains silent.

"So, what is it? What is your wish?" I urge, and he whispers, "It doesn't matter."

"Why?" I ask and then laugh humorlessly, "You think I can't fulfill it?"

His body stiffens, "It's not that you can't. It's that you wouldn't want to, and I can't force you; I won't force you to do something against your will," he replies, zipping up his backpack.

"Why did you mention my aura?" I ask, and he shrugs, "I saw your aura in the morning when I woke up. It's very bright." he states and falls silent again.

"Does your wish have something to do with my aura?"

"Maybe. But there is more to it than that." He replies, and my curiosity peaks.

I sigh, and sounding put upon, I add, "I promise that I will hear you out, and if there is truly a way for me to diminish my aura, I will do it." I give him my word.

This time he looks into my eyes and asks hesitantly, "You were against even listening to me just a while ago; what changed?"

I beg my eyes not to tread lower and my words not to betray their intent and lie, "I just realized that if your plan works, I won't have to waste my time with them."

He nods, understanding the meaning behind my words, and I add, "But you need to promise me that you won't use that tone with me. Ever."

He gulps, and his gaze drops, "I promise."

"Fine, then tell me what you wish for." I shrug, trying to sound casual or, like the youth would call it, Cool.

I act as if what he has to say doesn't affect me even a little bit. Like the taste of his lips are not still lingering on mine; like his scent doesn't make me want to breathe him in; like if given the freedom to do what I want, I will not treasure him and give him all that I can, and more-

My Xian doesn't know what I truly want, and how my desire to have him has corrupted my very soul.

I had an inkling of what Xian might ask of me. After all, he did care about me, and it had affected him greatly that I was sleeping with random women to keep my aura under control for us. He had not liked that at all. And Xian was kind. That must be why he had brought up such a question.

'Jun, would it be a sin if you were to kiss me?' His question echos in my mind and sets my heart racing.

Anticipation for more fills me.

For my Xian doesn't know that when my lips had touched his, something in me had broken. I wanted to feel them again: His lips, those crimson wonders- I wanted to taste them to my heart's content.

He doesn't know that I am standing on the edgy of precipice, wanting, waiting to fall.

Maybe it's time; time to stop holding myself back. Maybe there was no way I could escape, wanting him; escape from wanting him to desire me; carve me; be mine.

Xian closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before taking my hand in his, "Jun, you can refuse if you are not okay with it, alright?"

"Mn." I nod.

"Qing," He starts, and I feel like someone splashed scalding hot water on me. My heart hurts. I feel like the Heavenly father has run his blade through me.

"Qing?" I repeat, trying to sound surprised rather than disappointed, and he nods, "I need you to help me surprise and impress Qing. Jun, will you teach me how to kiss?"

{Note :- That's it for today's update. I am sorry for updating it so late.

Why do you guys think Xian brought up Qing?

Will Jun agree to this wish?

Are they safe now that the unclean has been taken care of?

Please stick with this story to find the answers and don't forget to Vote to show your support, if you have enjoyed it.

Thank you for reading.
Have a nice day.}