two years ago today, I made this account. I was 12 years old and was so interested in the Loud House, I made a new account like I always did. I made my Corruption fanfiction soon after, and my god, what a start that was

I never did expect this. I figured I'd leave this account like I've always done, that I'd just abandon it and move onto a new one. I didn't though, I've grown way too attached to this account and to all of you. I've met some amazing people on here in the two years that this account has been active

There's been some issues in the past, and some I'm not proud of. A bunch of old stories that only those that were here at the time I made them remember, and a few others now and then. My old stories, though, are nothing to be proud of

They were rushed, not that well thought out, and overall very bad. I cannot help that people still read them despite the warning I put not to, but in a way I am grateful for it. If it wasn't for those, I wouldn't really be here

Truthfully, with some of my interests, people do find me a but weird. Dark and twisted, morbid stuff has always been an interest to me as I got older. I always liked sadder fanfictions when I was around 11 years old, and it then evolved into darker and more edgy ones

This account also, in a way, helped me realize that there's nothing wrong with me. In the past, I have been called out and harassed for it. It was quite upsetting, and I always used the excuse "it's just a way to cope"

Yes. It did help me vent, but it's more than just that at this point. I write the stuff I do for the enjoyment I get from it. Sometimes I do add my feelings to them, but sometimes I don't. It's merely an interest I have, it's not because I have issues

I also love every single one of you, for also helping me out. I thought I was alone in my interests until I met some of you, who share the same interest as I do. It made me feel great to know that I had other people who did the same thing as I did

And yes, I'm aware. Suicide, self-harm, depression, and all that stuff is a very serious issue. I do not condone harming yourself in any way. I, myself, though, have been told I have depression by many online friends

I don't truthfully know. I cannot talk about my issues to anyone I know personally in order to get properly diagnosed, but I've been told many times by my internet friends over the past year, and maybe longer. I don't think I ever will know, though, unless I manage to talk about my problems to someone in the future, which I highly doubt

I've also had suicidal thoughts in the past. Over the summer, I tried to hang myself using a noose three times and all three had the same results. It didn't work, and the door was too short. My dad wasn't home, and I haven't told anybody I know personally. I have had thoughts of self-harm in the past, too, but I have never harmed myself

If you ever, ever feel the need to self-harm or if you want to kill yourself, please call the suicide prevention hotline in your country. I care deeply about every one of you, and I want you all to stay safe

If you live in the United States, here's the number that you can call if you ever feel suicidal: 

1-800-273-8255

I am very thankful for all of you. All your favorites, comments, messages, everything. You kept me from wanting to leave this account, and so much more. Please, never be afraid to message me on here or on any other site I'm on, which are all listed in my bio. I don't always respond, but I do read them all

I love all of you guys. I really do. I've enjoyed the two years I've spent on this account, and talking to all of you as well

thank you <33