A/N: Merry Christmas everyone! 🎉
How have you all been? 

This is (sort of) a Christmas special. Ideally, I would've written something Christmas-y and fluffy but I haven't had the time to do that. I apologize. But, hey, something's better than nothing, amirite? 

This is my collab with the amazingly talented ML fanfic writers: DipStick45, just_keep_writin and just_alessia. Check them out, guys and gals!

We were paired for a competition by MIRACULOUS_FANCLUB and I had so much fun working with them. These are some awesome ladies! If you haven't checked out their stories yet then you are missing something.

I've written the first two parts of this one-shot. The second part is written by DipStick45, third part is written by just_keep_writin and the last part is written by just_alessia.

❤ This chapter is dedicated to WillowLaurenGCoy. She was the first (genuine) reader of my first book. She had requested a MariBlanc story when LMMH wasn't even finished for the first time. Unfortunately, the timing was never right. After that, I got busy with studies, revising and re-writing LMMH and this book. So, this goes out to her. ❤

'The Game of Hearts' (the book whose extended preview I released in the last one-shot) is scheduled to release today at 5 PM (IST) or 11:30 AM (GMT). Keep an eye on the clock folks~

Genre: Romance
Sub-genre: Drama/Angst/Mild Horror/Friendship
Word Count: 4178
Rated: T (Borderline suicidal thoughts)
Date: December 25, 2020
Pairing: LadyNoir/LadyBlanc/MariBlanc

NY special spoilers warning! (Mild divergence from the canon episode, read as an AU if you want)

Preview: After returning from New York, Ladybug is feeling very guilty for lashing out on Chat Noir. Things go downhill for her when Chat Blanc starts haunting her thoughts.
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"I can no longer trust you, can I?" At that instant, that flash of anger must have prevented her from realising his pain. But what else could she have possibly said? She was Ladybug, and she had a duty towards the citizens of Paris. She had entrusted Chat, her faithful partner, with that commitment, but he had broken his promise. Why didn't he tell her that he was leaving Paris for a while too? She would've come up with a plan. She despised liars, and maybe, just maybe that was why she was so furious at him.

When the gravity of her harsh words eventually sunk in, it was already too late.

"I renounce you, Plagg."

His statement was like daggers to her heart. No! No! No! No! No! It wasn't what she had intended! He couldn't just leave her! What would she do without him? There was no Ladybug without her Chat Noir, her Chaton.

She tried to stop him, but her rule to keep their identities a secret acted as a barrier when she heard his retreating steps. He was running away... From her. That boy had a heart of gold. It wasn't her who needed a new partner, but it was he who deserved so much more. Shouldn't he know better than to take her too seriously when she was upset? Chat Noir knew first-hand how quick she was to overreact.

The silence that greeted her after he fled was frightening. Her feet froze on the spot, and so did her voice. The guilt of being callous to the most selfless person started to build up. She had never felt so lost earlier.

Her Chaton had chosen to give up his freedom, and it was all her fault. Stupid rules! Ridiculous obligations! Her rage earlier during the Akuma battle was not a reflection on him— only her inner demons. He always worked so hard to please others and never entreated anything in return. Yet, she decided to focus on things he couldn't do. In her misplaced entitlement, she only gave him passive-aggressive rage. Now, he was gone. Could she blame him from choosing respect and acceptance over demands? No, not at all.

Marinette's remorse diligently analysed her actions. Hot tears cascaded down her cheeks freely. While she acknowledged them, she didn't bother to wipe them away. She was a monster, wasn't she? Tikki and Plagg gave her pitiful looks. Oh, Dieu!

Even Adrien's departure didn't hit her as hard. But, it was quite evident that her world was falling apart. Two most important boys in her life were gone. At least she could see Adrien back in Paris, but what about the other blond? She would never see her Kitty again, and she had no one else but herself to condemn.

.

.

.

"Nice to see you again, M'Lady."

His voice had never sounded more soothing. And Ladybug had never been more grateful.

******

"What do you have there, M'Lady?" Her ever so curious kitten asked. His pupils dilated with elation as he picked up a familiar scent, tail wagging with delight.

A soft smile etched Ladybug's features. Chat's delicate gaze relaxed her. She had a busy week, and if it weren't for the sweet blond, she wouldn't have been able to endure the pressure. "I made your favourite chocolate chip cookies for you to take home," she said and resisted the urge to giggle at the way his eyes lit up gleefully (a̶̶n̶̶d̶ ̶h̶̶o̶̶w̶ ̶h̶̶i̶̶s̶ ̶f̶̶e̶̶l̶̶i̶̶n̶̶e̶ ̶e̶̶a̶̶r̶̶s̶ ̶p̶̶e̶̶r̶̶k̶̶e̶̶d̶ ̶u̶̶p̶ ̶c̶̶u̶̶t̶̶e̶̶l̶̶y̶̶).

"My Lady, you'll make this cat fat!" He wailed dramatically. "That'll be so un-fur-tunate!"

"I swear Chat," she spoke in feigned irritation, "If you pun one more time, I'll never bring you food again." Her bluff was short-lived when Chaton decided to test his limits.

"I am meow-ry, Ladybug," he said, "Surely, you wouldn't be so cruel to mew!"

She bit her the inside of her cheek to stop herself from laughing, "Is that all you've got?"

"No, Buginette, I can do petter than that."

She broke into a loud guffaw at his endearing antics. He was adorable.

After returning to Paris, she had immediately started brainstorming ideas to make Chat feel special. The realisation that she never appreciated him enough was a kick to her gut. And then after, it became her mission to take care of him as much as he looked out for her.

Even though things were coming back together and they had fallen back into their usual dynamic, her worries didn't stop. 

The residual guilt of breaking Chat's heart in more than one ways washed over her like long slow waves on a shallow beach. Each wave was icy cold and sent shivers down her spine. Oh, how she longed to go back and choose a different path! But she knew it was impossible. What's done is done. All she could do was to focus on the future and hope for the best.

Marinette just wanted to keep him happy and close. After all, she'd rather die herself than to have her silly Kitty akumatised... Again. She COULD NOT fail him again!

Yes, that's right. Chat's always been too good for you. You don't deserve kindness, you stupid girl. Do you think cookies will make up for your emotional neglect? Why don't you give your earrings to someone more capable and end everything?

The negative thoughts were becoming more and more unbearable. It was as if her soul was giving in to a gloomy void, and everything was throbbing! She was drowning. And there was no way out.

Marinette dropped her transformation on her balcony. Offering her tired kwami her macaron, she decided to watch the sunset and clear her mind. But, something felt off, she was uneasy. The hair on the back of her neck rose into goosebumps. Eyes narrowing in suspicion, she focused on a nearby lamp. It had felt like-- like she was being watched.

She might be hallucinating. She shut her eyes in a desperate attempt to gain some peace. Exhaustion must've shaken her to the core because, in the darkness, she saw the outline of a terrifying figure she had once managed to escape...

A boy decked in white with his eyes as azure as misery.

Her lips quivered in fear. "You are- but, you- YOU'RE--

. . .Chat Blanc."

And that's when her dam of restraint broke.

******

Marinette let out a pained cry. She hadn't cried about this image of him ever since he begged her to help him before he accepted Hawkmoth's akuma to turn him into Chat Blanc, and there was nothing she could do except try to convince him not to accept that lie with her words. But her words did nothing that day, or even when she first tried to bring him back, and even now, she idly wondered if they would be of much help.

That one horrific nightmare she thought she would never have to relive again was standing right in front of her, decked in leather attire that was ghostly white. His piercing, blue eyes held no mercy in them, nothing that would bring her comfort. The only thing his eyes held was recognition... and hatred; hatred for her.

She found herself gasping for air, unable to keep herself composed. She wasn't even supposed to see him again. She wasn't supposed to relive this.

"Missed me?" His tail whipped suggestively behind him, and she took a sudden step back when he landed on the railing, perched on all fours as he tilted his head slightly. He grinned at her—but his smile did nothing to settle her nerves. It only caused chills to run up her spine. "I was beginning to think you might've forgotten about me."

She couldn't help but let out a choked sob. It was impossible to forget about what had once happened to her Chaton; what his own father had done to him. It was impossible to forget about the pained look he'd once held in his eyes the moment he discovered the truth about his mother. It was impossible to forget about the monster he had temporarily become.

Marinette licked her lips, swallowing slowly. Somehow, even outside in the chilled night, she was sweating. Chat Noir— well, this was Chat Blanc— chuckled darkly when he seemed to catch on that she was at loss for words and slowly descended from the railing, instead of maintaining his crouched position as he lowered himself onto her balcony. When she hurriedly backed away from him and bumped into the wall behind her, he let out a maniacal laugh.

"You should know better, Marinette," Chat said in a low voice. "You can't escape. You created me."

She shook her head, trying to drown out his words. No, this couldn't be. This just couldn't be real! She had just patrolled with Chat Noir not too long ago, and he was fine. She didn't create Chat Blanc— she had nothing to do with this side of him! It wasn't her fault!

And the overwhelming sense of guilt she'd been feeling ever since she'd brought him back had yet to go away and leave her alone.

"Get away from me!" Desperately, she pleaded with him to comply (whether he was real or not) to leave her be. Even when she shouted at him, it seemed as if that only pleased him further. His sinister smile only widened, as if he enjoyed watching her tremble in fear.

And what tied his scary demeanor all together was when he did the quite opposite of what she wanted and began crawling towards her ever-so-slowly, taunting her with his eerie and precise movements.

When he reached her, she squeezed her eyes shut, anticipating the worst.

But she felt nothing.

And when she peeked an eye open, she was surprised to find him searching her intensely, and if she was seeing correctly, a bit fondly too.

Chat Blanc wore a literal blank expression as he studied her. His menacing smile from before had completely vanished, but there was a fond look in his eye that she couldn't quite decipher. At first, she found herself relaxing slightly at the sight of her worst nightmare looking a lot calmer than he had when he'd first approached her. But then he glanced back up to meet her gaze. And what he said next had her stumbling backwards again.

"You are a liar, M'lady."

There was nothing to break the silence between them besides Marinette's gasp, and the tears that stained her cheeks and left an icy feeling in their path didn't seem to phase his blank expression either. His words plunged deep like a dagger through her heart. She was no liar! She detested liars! Since when did she ever lie to him?

Every time you deny his feelings, you're lying, the voice in her head reminded her.

"H-How?" She stuttered out.

His calm expression shifted immediately into one of anger. "You told Chat Noir that he was one of your best friends, but even then, you're always so quick to point out the worst in him! What kind of a friend does that make you, if not a fake one?"

Every time you say you trust him fully, you're lying.

A sense of overwhelming guilt clouded her senses. Did she trust her partner one-hundred percent? Or was she too paranoid— too independent to put her complete trust into someone else? For her to not have an immediate answer to both of those questions was humiliating. 

Chat Noir trusted her with everything he had. Even if she were to disappoint him, his trust in her would never falter.

And yet she was so quick to lose faith in him.

Despite her tears, Marinette held her chin high. "I am not fake."

"Oh?" He tilted his head, his white bangs slowly falling into his eyes. "Isn't that something a liar would say?"

His maniacal laugh echoed through the air afterwards, the chilling sound piercing the thick atmosphere like a blade being slashed across her side. She tried to drown it out by pressing the palms of her hands to her ears, but somehow his laughter roared even louder, like a tsunami consuming everything in its path. Her efforts to block him out failed pathetically. Even when she squeezed her eyes shut, chanting for him to go away in her mind, she could still see his terrifying face looming in the darkness from behind her eyelids.

Something inside of her snapped. Her restraint was already gone, so it wasn't that. But Marinette suddenly snapped, and then she sat up in her bed, gasping for air. She took a quick look around her room, the only light illuminating her bedroom coming from the small hatch above her bed which was sealed tight. She slowly looked herself over, realizing that she was wearing pajamas.

So, she'd gone to bed after patrolling with Chat Noir.

All of that had been a dream.

Marinette slowly laid back down (her head finding the soft comfort in her pillow once again), and rolled over to lay on her left side, finding Tikki curled up into a little ball on one of her little, homemade, sewn pillows. The little snores her kwami was softly emitting brought a fond smile to Marinette's lips, despite the inner turmoil she was currently feeling.

She debated waking up the little kwami so that she could juggle her overwhelming thoughts with someone who would no doubt give her the advice she needed... but then she decided against it. Tikki needed her rest. It wouldn't be right for her to wake up the little bug, simply because she couldn't sleep herself.

So instead, she turned to lay on her back again, and stared up into the night sky through the small, windowed-hatch above her, watching the stars faintly twinkle in the darkness.

In her loneliness, her thoughts began to swirl once again. But this time, she was awake enough to evaluate them without Chat Blanc's taunting voice reminding her of her failures. Because despite Chat Blanc being a monster she had yet to get rid of, he'd still made a validated point.

She was a liar. She was fake. She was entitled.

Chat Blanc had said that she had been the one to create him.

And if that was true, didn't that make her the real monster?

******

Marinette had hardly obtained enough sleep that night, the nightmare still afflicting her. On conventional days, she was bright, though today was different as she could only feel vicious about everything. Neither of her parents had failed to catch on, immediately asking her what was wrong yet receiving an answer that was barely good enough.

They'd recommended she took a break from school only to be a tad stunned when their daughter had repudiated the idea. She hadn't bothered to tell either of them what was nagging her — even if she wanted to. . . she couldn't, could she? That was putting her number one secret in jeopardy.

She'd thought perhaps going to school and concentrating on nothing but her schoolwork and friends would only help her with the nightmare that had taken her mind as its new home. It looked as if she had everything in the bag, but obviously, fate had something scheduled differently for her. She wasn't at all surprised to see her agenda had taken a turn for the worse before she could even start on it. As always, her plans always managed to get screwed up, and this time, it hadn't even been Lila Rossi who'd done it.

Hawk Moth.

Did he ever take a break? On usual days, Marinette wouldn't have been concerned at all. She and Chat Noir, being the remarkable team she'd seen them as — she'd thought they were— always managed to put these villains down in the end, no matter how powerful they were. But today, she couldn't bring her mind to focus on what was currently happening outside of the school. She had taken time to gather up all her courage and strength, actually managing to transform and heading outside. Though as soon as her eyes landed on the black cat already fighting off the villain, she stiffened in her spot, the agony from last night coming back, this time with no mercy.

He got here first. He always gets to the villains first.

It wasn't just the terror she received from her nightmare that had made her freeze. It'd also been how right Chat Blanc had been. It didn't matter whether it had been an imagination playing in her mind while she was asleep — Chat Noir, or even Chat Blanc, had been right. He'd always been right. Watching her partner take on the villain while he screamed at the top of his lungs for some help got her to realize how irrational it was that Chat Noir had been mistreated, not just from her, but from some other citizens in Paris.

Those who saw Chat Noir as nothing more than a side-kick.

She only ever got out of her trance when she overheard Chat Noir yelling for her name. "LADYBUG, LOOK OUT!" It was a good thing she'd gotten the alarm in time, being able to dodge the villain that had been running towards her. Once again, Chat Noir had managed to save her life, and what did she ever do for him in return? Point out his mistakes rather than focusing on the positives; being the worst partner for him and worst of all, not acting like the best friend she'd claimed she was.

"The akuma is in his—" The cat paused once he noticed the look on his partner's face. "Hey, you okay?"

"I—" She blinked rapidly, before nodding, forming a lie. "I'm okay. We need to get to that villain before he escapes. Let's go!"

Throughout the entire fight, she'd tried her hardest to concentrate on the villain in front of her, yet always managing to blunder and have Chat Noir save her as always. The more failures she made, the more Chat Blanc wouldn't leave her mind. "You are a liar, M'lady."

When Chat Noir tapped on her shoulder once again to ask if she was alright, Ladybug flinched, taking a small step back away from the confused boy in front of her. She then looked down to see that he had his foot right on top of the villain they'd been fighting. He was waiting for her. . . waiting for her to do her usual thing, and no matter how long Ladybug had taken, Chat Noir hadn't muttered out a single word of complaint as he waited patiently.

"Miraculous Ladybug!" She threw her Lucky Charm up in the air before her eyes averted over to the small fist Chat Noir was making.

"Pound it?"

Ladybug stared at the fist, though didn't put forward her own. Instead, she walked closer and wrapped her arms around Chat Noir's body, pulling him into the tightest hug ever. He opened his mouth to ask again, though this time, didn't even bother as he just hugged back, no matter how audible the beeping of his ring sounded, warning him about his transformation coming off in less than three minutes now. Silently listening as his lady cried on his shoulder, he couldn't just leave then, so he'd stood there. Stood and waited.

When reporters started arriving and Ladybug's earrings had beeped for the fourth time, she pulled away from the hug. "Bug out." Her voice came out tiny and squeaky, her face tainted with her tears. She didn't explain it to Chat Noir. Why would she anyway when she still felt ashamed every single time she was reminded of that nightmare? It made her feel indignant at herself that she was only realizing things now. She was a bad Ladybug.

She was a bad friend.

******

It was almost peaceful as the wind played with her hair. It didn't seem to mind that she was close to freezing. It had been just her and the almost icy fog of her breath until he, landing clumsily yet good enough, was there. She was sure he was proud because he thought she didn't hear him. Every which way, what he doesn't know won't hurt him.

"M'lady," Chat Noir didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her, and she fought the urge to stiffen because he shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't be doing this to her. It was a crime in her perspective because she knew something he didn't, yet she didn't stop him because she wasn't God to know what the next right thing was.

Ladybug carefully released a breath so as not to break the silence. She was quick to notice that his hand was in a fist, and she didn't hesitate to try and interlace their fingers to pry it open. He backed away a little at that, and she watched his silhouette from the corner of her eye.

"What do you have there?" In her opinion, he moved too fast. He always moves too fast. In front of her was a simple necklace. It was a sapphire glowing under the moon's shine. She pulled away before he could start putting it around her neck.

"Why are you doing this, Chat? Why are you doing this to me?" She cried in a needy tone that he didn't have to hear because it was just her silly attempt to infect him with her stupor.

"I'm sorry. I'm just so confused." She whispered because it seemed so shameful to be a prisoner of war to your own mind.

"I'll help you figure it out." It made no sense why he proceeded to let her feel his warmth, holding her like a child, and it would only make things worse if he kept on facing her demons like she was that worth defending.

To him, of course, she was, and that was a fact she wanted him to deny.

"I don't want to lose you." She tried to imagine that he was not there because what she was sure would happen next is she'd be confessing all her sins. . . and he was not a priest to be allowed to hear them, yet even that, she was uncertain.

"But I need space." It was too much of a whisper, and if he weren't so dedicated to her, he wouldn't hear. "But I want you here too. I like you close." She clenched her jaw too much. Everything was too much now, and she wished it would all just vanish into thin air.

At her words, ignoring if he misinterpreted them, he hugged her. It's nothing new. He always hugged her. Just another one of his crimes because he can't stay away. Forget it. Maybe she'd stay in his arms a little longer because what else could she do?

"I wish there was a reset button, so we can forget about each other's demons and flaws."

"Everything?" 

They were inches apart now as he held her by the shoulders. She knew he was asking because he didn't want all those things forgotten. Hitting reset would mean starting all over again with everything gone, even those roses he gave her even though it was all just a wish.

"No. Just the bad ones. I want to correct them."

"But we can't." It was a known fact.

The next thing she registered, he was pulling her up to stand on the ledge. For a moment, she wanted to jump, and she wondered if that was his plan.

"We won't forget anything. We're not robots, but we can restart if we want to." 

She wondered if he read too many of those Romance Fiction books set in the early 19th century or watched too much of 'Tchaikovsky'. "What are you doing, Chat?" She was still whispering, voice as light as a feather. Her eyes were heavy from unshed tears, and his sincerity only made her chest hurt more.

"I want to get to know you again. I want to give you this second chance you won't, so here goes." He gave her the softest expression as if she hung stars in the sky for him, "Chat Noir. A pleasure to meet you, M'lady."

"I know where this is all coming from." He said, breaking the silence that had settled once again when she didn't give him an answer. "You don't think you deserve me, right?"

"Well, you do, and you'll never get rid of me because," he faced forward and away from her, taking his moment as if theater curtains were about to open, "Even if you don't need me anymore, I'll always be by your side."

She looked down out of instinct just to see if anyone had heard him yell.

"Let me this second chance to prove to you that you deserve me."

"This is my second chance, Chat. Not yours." She hugged him, her chin on his shoulder as the sky slowly became a kaleidoscope of all her favorite colors.

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A/N: It really turned out better than any of us had expected. Make sure to check out others' stories/profile. I purr-omise you won't regret it.

The cool Chat Blanc art belongs to TheFalseVyper on Instagram.

Once again, Merry Christmas! I hope you have an amazing day.

Don't fur-get to check out my new book (preview is in the last part).

Suggestions?➡

That is it for now (not today, tehee), folks~ I hope to see you soon! 

DON'T FORGET TO VOTE AND COMMENT! ;D