Tayla disappears through the security doors, and I take a deep shuddering breath. She's gone. Despair settles over me, a weighted blanket. Then I remember she loves me, loves me enough to want us to be together, to say it not once this morning, but twice. A sentiment that vibrated off her all day yesterday, but I wasn't sure she'd ever give the words to me again.

She's thrown the door to her heart wide open, and I'm never again giving her a reason to shut it. From my phone, I scan through the flight prices and find the airline with the cheapest flexible fare. With a deep breath, I go to the ticketing counter and hesitate.

She told me to book a flight but not when I should book it. We're not breaking up, but I'm not really sure we're together either. A weird limbo. Wait for her, do long distance, or reorganize my whole life to chase after her. The only option she vetoed was kicking me to the curb.

"Can I help you?" The woman behind the ticketing counter glances up from her computer.

"I need a flight to Scotland, but I'm not sure when, exactly." I purse my lips and take out my wallet. "Do you have a flight that's perfect for indecisive dickheads?"

She lets out a startled laugh. "We have flexible flights." She grins.

"How do those work? Can I change the dates and time at short notice? I also—" Saying it out loud feels like a jinx. "I might not need the return part of the flight for quite a while."

She rummages around her desk and plops a pamphlet on the counter and takes me through the flight options, circling numbers and terms. At the end of it, my head is spinning, but I'm confident she's given me the best option for my strange set of circumstances. She probably learned far more about my personal life than she actually needed for me to buy the ticket. Ah well. Unloading all the baggage on someone who could care less felt surprisingly good.

"All right, Mr. Buchannan, you're all set. A flexible fare that gives you lots of options." She passes me the paperwork over the counter. "Good luck. I really hope it works out for you."

I give her a partial grin. "Me too." I stare down at the printed itinerary. "Me too." When I leave the counter, I snap a photo of the flight details and text them to Tayla. I don't expect to hear from her, but my phone pings almost immediately.

I love you. I don't know what I'm doing. This feels like a mistake. What am I doing?

I suck in a deep breath at her words. She's not normally one to freak out. Going to Scotland was never a dream of Tayla's, so I can understand why she's struggling to reconcile her choice. Still, the opportunity to live in another country, experience a different culture is pretty amazing. Rather than trying to reassure her via text, I type back: Can I call?

Yes.

I press the phone to my ear, grabbing a seat by the window. My flight isn't for a couple hours, but I'm not sure if I'm going back into the city center. When she picks up, she says my name on a shaky exhale.

"I've got my flight, Tay. So, whenever you want me to come, you just have to ask. Are you okay? Do you want me to book a flight I won't take to get back there with you?"

"You'd do that?"

"In a heartbeat." I run a hand down my face and suppress a sigh. Hearing her voice over the phone drives home how much distance will be between us soon. "If I haven't made it clear yet, Tay. I'll do anything to be with you. Anything."

"I love you. I love you so much." Her voice catches on a sob. "I feel like I've screwed this all up."

"Hey, hey," I murmur, holding the phone tight against my ear. "You're an amazing vet, and they're damn lucky to have you. This year is an experience of a lifetime. Maybe right this minute it doesn't feel like it, but you're going to be great."

"I was so keen to go, I don't think I really thought about what leaving would feel like."

Keen to escape me. The unspoken part hangs between us. I drop my backpack at my feet and stretch my fingers across my forehead. Do I offer solutions? A listening ear? Tell her how great she is again?

"What do you need to hear from me to make you feel better?" Mind reading isn't my specialty, and a similar needs-based tactic works well in the ER.

There's a long pause on the phone. "I just need to know I'm not fucking us up by leaving," she whispers. "I think I'm—even though it didn't turn out to be true—I think part of me is worried you'll find someone else."

"Really?" I can't keep the surprise out of my voice. Though she did spend six years thinking I cheated on her, or at the very least, moved on from her in the blink of an eye. The truth is my heart never moved past her. "When you get to Scotland, open the box I gave you. There's no one else, Tay. There's never been anyone like you. Your name is stamped across my heart."

"Is it a hard stamp or like one you can barely see?" Her tone is teasing, but also thick with tears.

"Oh it's hard and big and—"

"Are we still talking about a stamp?"

"Tayla Marie Murphy, have we pivoted back to your penis fetish?"

"What can I say? I have a thing for dicks."

There's laughter in her voice, and the tightness in my chest eases. Being here without her will be rough, but I can't imagine getting on an international flight, poised for adventure, absolutely miserable. She doesn't deserve that. "Well," I say. "This dick is grateful."

"Thank you," she whispers, a smile still evident in her voice.

"For what?"

"For making me feel better instead of worse."

"I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make us work." Even if I bury my heartache to ease hers.

"I have to go. We're boarding."

"Call or text when you're settled. I don't care what time it is here. I love you. Go be amazing."

She sucks in a shaky breath. "I love you too."

Hearing her say those words will never get old.

~ * ~

When I arrive back at my apartment, Aaron is in the kitchen stocking the fridge with beer, and Rex circles me in excitement.

"What are you doing?" I ask, dropping my stuff on the floor, exhaustion coating me. My emotions have been all over the place since I got off the phone with Tayla at the airport. I haven't heard from her yet, but I forgot she won't have a working cell phone in Scotland. She's getting a local number rather than paying for a costly international package.

"Helping you drown yourself in alcohol. How was it?" Aaron winces and then cracks a beer, taking a sip.

I grab the one he offers and open it. The last thing I feel like doing is drinking. My bed calls my name. Maybe I'll have heard from Tayla by the time I wake up. Aaron isn't normally the type to linger or wait around, especially for 'emotional shit' as he likes to call it.

"GameSetMatch gave me a fuck off check that I used to buy an open-ended flight to Scotland. We're going to try to make things work."

"You're moving to Scotland?" Aaron's eyes almost leave his head.

"No, not yet," I admit. "She asked me to visit. Maybe move. I don't know. The only thing I know for sure is that we're going to try to make things between us work for this year—no matter what side of the ocean we're both on."

"Wow." Aaron rocks back on his heels and chugs his beer. "Gotta say I didn't see that coming."

I pat Rex on the head and ease into my couch with a groan. "Me either. Thanks for looking after Rex while I was gone. Want to do it again when I go to Scotland?"

"Depends on how long you're going." Aaron raises his eyebrows.

"I think I can get one of those animal passport things and take him with me." I sip my beer and then shake my head. "I'm probably getting ahead of myself. There's a chance Tayla will get to Scotland and meet some guy in a kilt, and I'll become the dick she left behind." The thought makes me chug my beer.

"I'd be more worried about the accent than the kilt."

"Such a helpful fucking comment," I mutter. "Why are you here stocking my beer and then drinking it?"

Aaron sets his empty can on the island and crosses his arms. "Denise broke up with me. Said we're not compatible."

"And that's a surprise?" Didn't he tell me weeks ago she was fun for now but not long term material?

"Did you and Tayla take down GameSetMatch? Is that what the payment was about?"

I chuckle and slide my finished can onto the coffee table. "A small dent in their checkbook. That's about it. They ran circles around us."

"They're still out there snagging unsuspecting men and fleecing women's savings?"

"Unfortunately, yes." I sigh. "Some of what we understood was wrong, but there's definitely some shady shit going on." I eye him. "Why?"

He sighs. "I'm getting to the point where I want to meet someone who is compatible. No fucking way am I going near online dating if I might get sucked into the soulmate vortex."

I suppress my smile. "Fourth time was a charm for me."

"When are you flying to Scotland?"

I rub my face and lean back into the couch. "Whenever Tayla asks. Gotta check into holidays, visas and shit in case she asks me to move."

"Do you think she will? You'd pull up stakes and go?" Aaron rests his elbow on the island.

Since I left the airport, I've been trying to calculate the odds of Tayla asking me to move. She's not the type to inconvenience someone else even though I've made it clear I'll go. My best guess is long distance for the next year.

"If she asks, I'm there. Honestly, it'll probably take a lot for her to ask, so I'm not going to hold my breath on that one. A bunch of transatlantic flights are in my future. I'll blaze through my banked holidays."

Aaron's expression turns thoughtful. "Huh."

"What?"

"I'm proud of you, man. Making a commitment, sticking to a plan, putting someone ahead of work. Wasn't sure I'd ever see it."

"I got lucky. I'm not letting her slip through my fingers a second time." I rise from my seat on the couch and take my empty can to the recycling. "Maybe you should book an appointment with GameSetMatch. You've got money to burn, right?"

Aaron punches me in the shoulder on the way past. "Fuck off."

My phone buzzes in my pocket and hope stirs in my chest. When I check the display, it's a foreign area code.

"Tayla?" Aaron asks with amusement.

"I think so, yeah." I click on the green icon before I lose the connection. Her voice crosses the ocean, and for the first time since I hung up with her at the airport, a sense of rightness settles over me. "Tayla," I breathe.

Aaron grabs his keys and heads for the door. "I'll see you later, man."

I wave to him and head to my bedroom. Rex curls up beside me on the bed, his head on my chest, and we listen to Tayla's excited rambles about Scotland, so close and connected, and yet so far away. A feeling I'll have to get used to, I guess. Doesn't matter. I'll take these scraps and let them feed my soul until she asks me to catch that plane to her.

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