Do you know that moment when something is happening but you just do not want to believe it? That was exactly the moment I was having.

I watched as we passed trees and street lights in the dark of the night as Uncle Nour drove us to the hospital. The only image that kept popping to my head was the time I jokingly told Muklis to rest in peace in advance and I heard him reply with an "Aameen."

"Hameeda, are you crying? I never knew you are afraid of death," Muklis said.

"I'm not crying. But who is not afraid of death Muklis?" I replied him.

"I am not," Muklis answered somewhat smiling to himself. I turned around to face him and saw how serious his face was. I raised my eyebrows asking him, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I know you guys will pray for me so in sha Allah I have nothing to worry about."

In my mind I laughed, for Muklis really had a lot of things to worry about. He partied a lot, prayed twice a week and did not fast the whole month of Ramadan.

"Who told you I will pray for you?" I asked.

"I've always thought you will. Please do," he said.

"Are you planning on leaving us 'ne?'" I asked teasingly.

He ignored me and smiled, so I said, "Rest in peace in advance."

"Ameen," I heard him whisper.

Who would have thought two weeks after this conversation Bilal would call me to tell me that Muklis had a terrible accident?

As we passed by our school, the image that came into my head was that of a few hours ago.

Muklis had kept quiet. His mind was somewhere else. And that was what had been happening throughout today. He had been thinking too much. About what? None of us knew. He was not very keen on allowing us to do the trick we planned on doing but he had no choice. He could not stop Hameeda MG from doing what she wanted.

None of us knew what was going on in his head. I did a mental note to ask him what was wrong later on because Uncle Nour was waiting for me. I remembered Mama always telling me "Never say later. Always do it now."

Who would have thought I would never get a chance to ask him that question?

Uncle Nour increased the car speed and we did a round about and were meters away from the hospital when another image popped into my head.

"He still is. Hameeda always listen when someone is talking to you because you don't know when it will be the last time you will hear his voice," Muklis said in a matter of fact tone.

Who would have thought that would be the last time I would hear his own voice?

We entered the hospital. I rushed out of the car before Uncle Nour even parked it well. I could not describe how I was feeling exactly. I did not want to enter the hospital and see something worse than I prepared myself for. I ran into the hospital asking the receptionist about the room number. She did not hear me well or thought I was mad because she did not answer me. Well who would not think I was mad. I was wearing my school shirt with a wrapper made with atamfa and an Abaya veil and two different pairs of shoes, one of slippers and the other one of my school shoes. Uncle Nour asked her more calmly and she told him the room number. Before she completed her sentence, I started rushing towards the direction of the room.

The hallway where the room was was filled with people of different ages--some wailing, some shouting innalilahi wa inna alaihi raji'un and others seated quietly with tears in their eyes. I kept looking at the room numbers, looking for the room the receptionist told Uncle Nour. Immediately I found the room, I entered without even knocking. And there I saw him lying lifelessly on the bed. I remembered how he was looking so lively and happy a few hours earlier.

"Okay, Thanks for the advice Mukky but I am in a bit of hurry so next time in sha Allah. Bye bye love you all," I waved and entered Uncle Nour's car.

I was not lying when I said I loved them. I really did. Do you know that moment when you think of certain people and you just cannot hold the smile on your lips? When you remember your adventures, your wonderful moments? Those memories that always make you smile and laugh and you think "Kai! I really love them, for I am who I am today because of them."? That was how I felt when Muklis smiled and waved at me through the window as we passed by them.

Who would have thought that would be the last time I was going to see him smiling and waving. I could not remove my eyes from the figure in front of me who, just a few hours ago, was looking so lively and happy.

"Please let me stay. Let me look at him for the last time," I kept shouting as Uncle Nour dragged me out of the room and into the hospital's hallways.

"The doctors are going to take him to the OR and they don't want anyone in the room," Uncle Nour said as he found two empty chairs and made me sit on one.

It is amazing how things can change in just a few hours. One moment you are happy , laughing and smiling and the next you are crying. One moment you are thinking of how blessed you are to have some people in your life and the next you are thinking of if only they will be in your life again. One moment you are looking at your friend's handsome face as he smiles and waves at you and the next you are looking at the handsome face with his eyes closed unsure whether he will ever open them again. One moment you are tired of listening to his voice and the next you would do anything to hear his voice again. One moment you are with your loved ones having fun and the next you are looking at your loved one on his death bed.

I saw some nurses wheeling his bed to God knows where. The hallway, just like I left it, was filled with people moaning.

I looked beside me and saw a woman in her mid fifties with tears in her eyes and a guy who looked exactly like Muklis but a little bit older than him holding her tightly and asking her to pray. She was probably Muklis' mother and the guy was his older brother. The one Muklis always joked that he would marry Rukkaya and then we would become siblings.

I was so confused and not in my right state of mind when I entered the hospital that I did not even greet any of Muklis' relatives. I now greeted his mother, siblings and his other relatives and we all prayed for Muklis.

"You must be Hameeda. Muklis always talks about you," His mom with tears in her eyes said when I greeted her.

"In sha Allah Muklis is going to be okay," I said holding her hand. She nodded her head before bursting out crying. I hugged her and we cried for some minutes together,

"In sha Allah, but he has been acting really weird these few days, as if he knows he is going to die," she said, wiping her tears. "He prayed with his brother in congregation, stayed at home throughout the day and greeted me every morning. It was really weird for him to do all these things. He must have some sort of...,"

"I think you are just imagining things. Just keep praying," I told her and even tried giving her a smile before going back to my seat.

I saw Bilal seated on the chair opposite mine. Leena was seated beside him. He had his hand on his head and tears in his eyes.

"He is going to be okay in sha Allah," he said even though he was trying to convince himself more not me.

I nodded my head whispering in sha Allah. The call he made about an hour ago startled me. A call I wished I had never had.

It made me understand death really can come anytime just like Uncle Nour said. It is not just when you are old or when you are sick. It can be anytime. You cannot keep sinning and saying you will repent later before you die because you never know when you would die.

If only Muklis could wake up and repent before dying forever. That was what kept disturbing me. Muklis was Mr World not Mr Akirah. He was very rich and handsome, had girls running over him, owned a Mercedes Benz, ate whatever he wanted. But he did not take his Salahs seriously, did not fast well, did not......I bursted out crying as I saw him lifeless on his bed, wheeled back into his room.

"He had an accident and damaged his brain," Leena told me. "I told him not to drive roughly. He asked me whether I would like him to take me home and I told him he may kill all of us," Leena continued crying. I couldn't say anything.

"He was like "So you want me to die alone?"" She said taking a deep breath. I raised my head up and looked at her.

"I said, "Yes," and he was like "You don't mean it. Your life will be boring without me." I said, "I do mean it and my life would be much more fun without you. We will party if you die,"" She told me the story bursting out crying. I ran and hugged her and we cried for some minutes together. She kept repeating, "How do you think I would live if he dies after I said that to him? I will never forget those words I said to him. "

I could not believe someone I just finished talking to a few hours ago was now fighting for his life. All of this felt like a dream.

I closed my eyes and kept seeing images of Muklis. He was laughing with his dimpled smile. Another one popped into my head, he was hugging me. I saw another one when I was punching him on his shoulders and he was joking about his muscles being better than Hamdan's. All those beautiful pictures kept popping into my head and I almost believed that was what was happening in real life until I opened my eyes and I saw myself in the hospital hallways.

Doctors were rushing in and out of Muklis' room. Everything seemed to be in a fast forward mode, his grandmother fainted, his mother was crying about losing the best two people in her life.

Hamdan walked in looking so confused. He kept shouting, "What's wrong?" Bilal was pacing up and down the hallways and I was pressing the life out of Uncle Nour's hand.

I could not take it anymore so I stood up and walked to the window of room where he was lying lifelessly with an oxygen mask on his nose and many other tubes connecting to the monitor. I kept watching and praying for Muklis.

I felt someone standing beside me. I turned around and saw Hamdan. He smiled weakly at me and opened his arm for a hug. I nodded at him and countinued watching one of my best friends on his death bed.

I heard a beeping sound and turned my attention to the direction of the monitor. Looking there, I saw the numbers on the monitor were decreasing. I shouted for doctors. Hamdan ran and came back with two doctors and two nurses. The doctors started compressing the chest of Muklis. Another doctor brought two pedals and shouted something to a nurse. The other doctor and nurse removed their hands from Muklis.

They were doing the cardio version or whatever the doctors call it. Even though I could not hear what they were saying, I had watched thousands of series like Chicago med and Grey's Anatomy, so I knew what they were saying. I had never thought I would ever see this in real life.

"1..2...3 clear."

"Nothing"

"1...2...3 clear."

"Nothing again."

"I had no idea what was happening until ten minutes ago. I hope Muklis is going to be okay. He is such a nice friend," Hamdan said.

"Was," I corrected him. He looked at me looking so confused before turning back to the window.

The doctor removed his mask and checked his watch. I could read his lips as he pronounced,

"Time of death 23:54," . And all I thought of that moment was Wallahi I want to be Miss Akirah and not Miss world.

...

The End.

.....

......

Yeah I am just kidding this is not end. But, it will the last update for a while. I am going to write my SSCE exams so I don't think I will have time to write. Please wish me luck, I will see you in two to three months time. Thanks for all the support and encouragement. Love yah.