"It's your fault that our father is dead! Don't you hold any remorse for that?" I screamed at my hellish brother, firing a few bullets at the demons he had released. He was a pain in my ass, one better left dead in my opinion. "You're a monster! A creature of Gehenna! You don't belong here, you don't belong anywhere!" More bullets flied, I pointed my gun at him, "and you dare call yourself my brother?"

He seethed, "What the hell are you talking about, Yukio, we are siblings! And don't you dare point your gun at me, what has gotten into you?!" He looked genuinely hurt by my actions, good, he's hurt me with his own on more than one occasion.

"Nothing's 'gotten' into me, Nii-san." My tone grew harsh, he was everything wrong with my life. "I've felt this way since I found out about the real Rin Okumura." He had been tormenting me since I was a child, and he never even knew it, how horrible of him. "Why did you come up with this ridiculous idea of becoming an Exorcist? Revenge? Some kind of twisted sense of atonement towards Father? If you truly have the nerve to feel that way-" More hobgoblins appeared and I took care of them with a few shots, "...then you should give yourself up to The Order... or just die." I aimed my gun toward his torso for good measure, and it seemed to have an effect on him.

"Listen to me, dammit! I didn't kill the old man! But if shooting me will give you satisfaction, let's see you do it!" He took a few steps to the side, giving me an open shot at him. "Come on! Shoot me!" His eyes suddenly flashed and he unsheathed his sword, blue flames engulfing his body.

He was going to attack me and if I didn't stop him, he'd surely kill me. He began to run forward and my eyes flashed toward the Koma sword. No! The bastard really would fight me. I had to stop him before he got out of control and hurt anyone else.

*BANG!*

Then he faltered, falling to his knees. I was broken out of my shock endured trace by a low growl. Turning on my heels, I came face to face with a giant hobgoblin, it's mouth gaping open. Shit! I stumbled backward, firing shots at the huge demon. It screamed, eventually imploding on itself and disappearing. All I could do was stand there, breathing unevenly and my body trembling.

A noise sounded from beside me and I whipped around, guns ready to fire. "Oh!" Rin, I forgot I had shot at him. I paused, was he really aiming at me? Or was he....? I dropped my weapons, kneeling on the floor next to him. "Are you alright?!" I held him up, his school uniform was bloody, and his button up had a small hole right where his chest was, oh no...

"You've insulted me," he gasped out, anger lacing his tone. "I would never point a weapon at you, I can't believe you think I would go as far as to fight you." He started to cough and I began panicking.

Quickly glancing around the room, I saw Sir Pheles in his dog form, "Mephisto! Call for help, please!" I shot him in the chest, I probably punctured his lung; this was bad, this was very bad. "Rin! I am so sorry! I didn't mean to... to..." I stopped short, I didn't what? Didn't mean to shoot him? That'd be a blatant lie, I had been aiming for his vitals. I choked on a sob, "I fucked up, didn't I?"

He wheezed, "I thought the same thing when Dad died. Except then, my fault was that I didn't save him in time." His words stabbed a hole through me, I had just yelled at him, cursing him for killing Father. Yet, here I was, shooting a hole through my own brother's chest.

I couldn't take it, sobs clawed their way out of my throat and I gripped Rin's shoulders, pulling him toward me. "I'm so sorry! I'm no better than the monster I called you earlier! Here," I pushed him back, pressing my own hands over his wound, "we have to keep pressure on it." I sniffled, tears blinding my vision.

He chuckled, albeit sourly, "I don't think that will help much, unless we can-" he coughed violently, blood spattering out of his mouth, my heart dropped and he quickly regained his breath, "unless we can plug the hole from the inside as well." Oh no, this couldn't be happening, it just couldn't be.

I frantically told him to lay down on his side, so the blood wouldn't suffocate him. "You're a demon, you should heal faster! You'll survive this, I swear on my life!" Although I had just promised on his survival, my tone wasn't as confident, the words wavering as the passed my trembling lips.

Suddenly, the EMT's burst through the door, shoving me aside and working on Rin. They began to yell codes at each other and into their radios, and although I didn't understand them, I knew they were saying his injuries could be fatal. The thought of losing my brother after just losing my father... it made me go mad. I started to push my way through the medics, "Rin! You can't die on me, dammit! Don't do this to me! Please!" One of the men pulled me out of the way, cornering me into the far end of the classroom. He began talking to me about protocol and what they would be doing soon after, but I couldn't listen, my brother was fucking bleeding to death!

They hauled Rin out in a gurney, and the students weren't anywhere to be seen in the hallway when I followed after them. The team told me that I wasn't able to ride in the ambulance before they quickly shut the doors and took off toward the local hospital, lights flashing and sirens sounding.

I just stood there, absolutely in shock. I had just shot my brother, and now, he was in critical condition. I felt my heart pang with guilt and worry, and I gripped my chest through my shirt. Mephisto appeared at my side, quietly offering to give me a ride to the hospital. I'd be an idiot if I rejected, but then again, I did shoot my sibling.

The ride to the hospital was unbearably silent, Mephisto didn't dare fill the air with trivial words, he knew I wouldn't listen anyway. When we arrived at the hospital, I all but sprinted to the emergency room doors, the clerk looked like she was used to my kind of behavior. "Name?" She had large, circular glasses that magnified her eyes and she looked old enough to be my grandmother, yet not as kind.

I huffed, my mind in shambles, "Yukio Okumura, my brother Rin Okumura just came in with a gunshot wound." She took her time typing away on her keyboard, lazily moving her mouse back and forth. I wanted to shake her, it was like she took enjoyment in making people wait.

She finally looked away from her monitor, adjusting her wide glasses, "he's in operation, please take a seat in Waiting Room B." Then she turned away, signaling the end of our discussion. What a cold and heartless woman, people are in distress and she treats them like it's the damn lunch line.

I paced back and forth in the empty waiting room, my stomach becoming more and more twisted with each passing minute. I jumped when a nurse came in to talk to me. He looked ragged, obviously worn out from a long shift. "Mr. Okumura?" I raised my hand unnecessarily, I was the only one in the damn room. "You're brother is in the ICU, they were able to seal the wound and extract the bullet." I covered my mouth with my hands, so relieved that I thought I might cry.

I cut him off, "Thank you! When can I see him? What room is he in?" I noticed the look he was giving me and I suddenly felt my anxiety grow again.

"I can take you to his room, Mr. Okumura, however, I need to inform first: your brother lost a lot of blood during surgery and his heart stopped beating for awhile. And even though they have stabilized his vitals again, there isn't any brain activity."

I felt my heart drop, my body going cold. "W-What do you mean?"

He sighed, the ragged look in his eyes wasn't because of long hours, I realized. Instead, it was caused by being the bearer of bad news. "Your brother is brain dead, Mister. The machines are the only thing keeping him alive."

I stumbled forward, choking out a plea. "Take me to him!"

.oOo.

I sat in an uncomfortable chair, sobs wracking my entire body as I gripped my head, nails digging into my skull. He was in front of me, but yet he wasn't, I almost didn't want to look at him. His skin was grayed and tubes and wires hooked up to him everywhere. It was his only life force, he wasn't alive. I sobbed harder, this wasn't real, I was dreaming. No, I was having a nightmare, a very horrible nightmare. He couldn't be gone, he wasn't dead! I promised, I fucking promised him he would survive! But yet, here he was, breathing only because a machine was forcefully shoving the oxygen into him. The buzz and beeps of the room only drove it home harder, and it was steadily driving me insane.

They told me, flat out, that he wouldn't survive, but it was up to me how long he would continue breathing. Pull the plug, what an awful thing to have to do. I didn't have my father, a mother, or my brother, I was alone now, and it was all my fault. He was only protecting me and I fucking killed him!

I was startled out of my hell when a nurse shook my shoulder, they didn't want to rush me, but the hospital was slowing down as midnight approached. Either I killed him now, or I killed him later I guess, I was a murderer no matter what. I sobbed as I nodded, the nurse gave my shoulder a squeeze and told me she would be back in a few minutes. I took that as my cue to say goodbye.

I leaned forward, grabbing Rin's warm hand and holding it to my trembling lips, "I love you, no matter what has happened between us. I'm sorry I did this to you, that I took away the rest of your life. You would've lived a long time and you would've become an amazing Exorcist. I'm so sorry your story ends here. This is my fault, an I'll carry that burden forever. I love you," I choked on a sob, "but this is goodbye."

I held his hand in silence up until the nurse came back, she asked if I wanted to stay and I nodded. She looked pained as she walked over to his ventilator and unhooked it, her eyes flashing up to the wall clock above my head. I expected him to bottom off quickly, but the fates were tormenting me and I watched his heart rate slowly decline, the pain starting to grip me harder and harder. What was this, some sort of sick New Year's count down? The numbers dropped below double digits and I gripped Rin's hand tighter. "I love you!" I rushed, more tears falling.

Then the beeping stopped, replaced by the hollow electronic screech that was a flatline, the nurse looked down from the wall clock, "time of death: 11:52 pm." She told me that she would give me a moment to gather my thoughts before sending him to the morgue. Then she spewed words of funeral arrangements and the pamphlets they had on the front desk. I didn't care, it didn't matter, nothing mattered anymore now that he was gone.

I stood from my seat, quickly exiting the room and the hospital, Mephisto had been waiting in the car the entire time and had fallen asleep. He quickly woke up when I slammed the door behind me, the purple haired demon took a moment to look at my expression before starting the car. It occurred to me that he had no idea about Rin's death, but from my sorrowful appearance, I think he could guess. The ride home was seemingly more silent than the ride there, and Mephisto gave me a look when he parked the car, as if he knew what I was thinking.

I got out of the vehicle without a word, the sound of nightlife echoing inside my ears as I walked back to my dorm. My dorm that I would never share with anyone else now. I slammed the door to my room, standing completely still in the center. Two beds.... my hope shattered, whatever faith I had held in his survival finally began to crash and burn. I gasped, the cold air hurting my raw throat. I couldn't do this, this wasn't how this was supposed to go. I was supposed to have a brother, a family, but no, I'm utterly alone, and I will be for the rest of my life.

I spotted my weapons bag and quickly rifled through it, pulling out my spare revolver and bullets. I held the blessed ammunition in my hand, the metal clinking together. Although they wouldn't have the same effect as on a demon, and were significantly lighter and less dense than normal ammunition, they were still bullets. And a gun was still a gun, with enough force, anything can break through bones.

I shakily loaded the empty gun, cocking the hammer back. I felt my knees grow weak and I fell backward, my spine hitting my bedframe. Leaning against my mattress, I rested my elbow against my propped knees. This was it, this is what I had to do, there's no other way. I shoved the barrel of the handgun into my mouth and squeezed my eyes shut. I felt a fresh round of tears fall down my face, but tears wouldn't be the only thing staining the hardwood. I slipped my finger over the trigger, saying my final apology to my brother.

*BANG!*

The gun dropped from my grasp, my hands flying to the back of my neck. Shit, I didn't aim well enough. Blood flowed from the back of my head and from the back of my throat. I coughed and gagged on it, most of it falling to the floor in front of me. Black dots appeared in my vision and I felt my body begin to stop responding. Karma would have it that I wouldn't die a quick death, Rin had suffered and so should I. I saw, but didn't feel, my body convulsed in a violent seizure before I suddenly saw nothing at all. The last thing I felt was the aching loneliness in my chest.

I woke up gasping, actually, choking on air. I flung forward in bed, clutching my chest with one hand while the other felt the back of my head. No bullet wound, no blood. I continued to gasp and sputter for air, my vision blurry with sleep.

"Yukio? Are you alright?" I froze, I knew that voice too well, and I needed to hear it at a moment like this. My eyes welled with tears and I hunched over, beginning to sob uncontrollably. I felt my mattress dip down and a warm body encompass me in loving arms, "Yukio?! Shh, hey, what's wrong?" I didn't say anything and just gripped onto their shirt, the familiar smell of their body wash both calming me and making me cry harder. "Hey... you must have had a nightmare. It's okay now, I promise." They rubbed my back in soothing circles and I eventually quieted my hiccups.

I pulled back, wiping my eyes and feeling around for my glasses, "here..." their quiet voice stated and I felt them push something into my hands. Putting on my glasses, I opened my eyes, the first thing I noticed was the crisp white sheets I lay in, and the quiet atmosphere around me. I looked to my side, I was in my dorm room, I shifted my gaze to my alarm clock, 11:52 pm...

"Yukio?" I looked up, meeting clear blue eyes.

"Nii-san... I love you so much."