Two years ago today we brought Mattie home. She was three and a half months old. She was filthy, matted, flea infested, sick with worms, had food insecurity, and threw up twelve times in the car. I never had a bonding period with this dog. I don't love her any more than I did when I first walked in the door and laid eyes on her. It was the most intense experience of my life. She was a stranger to me, she was an enormous life adjustment, but my heart knew her immediately. I was obsessed to my core from the first second. The moment I saw her, she lifted my soul out of its deep darkness. She brought me back to life. I'd had visions of an orangish dog and here she was now and she made perfect sense and she fit herself into my soul with a single breath.

My mom and I picked fleas from her for two hours while she laid on her side and we remarked at what a calm puppy she was. Within 48 hours she recovered from her shock and showed her true colors.

The first night, when she was a stranger and un-housebroken, I put her in a pen and turned off the light, and she whimpered, and I scooped her into my bed because I wanted sleep. She slept a rock that night and every night since. I kept jerking awake because I had never slept with a dog before. Now I can't stand sleeping without her.

Life before her seems so, so, so long ago. I can't imagine my life when she's not in it anymore.

How it started

It was awkward to try to angle and get this picture when it happened, but...how it's going