MERIBELLA

"Well there she is," Vivian called out when Meribella walked into the pub. "Beginning to wonder if you still worked here now that you'd gone and got yourself a sugar daddy."

"Hey Viv," Meribella returned, unable to muster up a snarky reply.

Thorne was working behind the bar, restocking garnishes and cleaning glasses, and her eyebrows raised at her friend's sullen response. The witch missed nothing.

"What's got you down?" she asked, tossing the towel aside and dropping her chin on her fists as she leaned over the counter. "It can't be man troubles because Lincoln fussed about the sex smell in the boathouse all day yesterday."

"Sorry," Meribella winced.

Thorne shrugged, a wicked smile tugging at her lips. "While I'm thankful my nose isn't as sensitive as y'alls, I didn't mind the um... other animalistic qualities it brought out in Lincoln."

Vivian clicked her tongue as she filled containers with napkins. "Oh to be young like you girls again."

"What, no eww from you?"

"I don't know what to do Thorne," she sobbed, pressing her palms into her eyes.

The water witch darted around and drew Meribella's shaking form in her arms. She was thankful no one else was in the bar to witness her outburst, but the longer she went without talking about this, the worse it was becoming. And her mother wasn't exactly the best source for advice on relationships.

"Hey now. What brought this on?"

She sniffled and took the water Vivian pressed into her hands, knocking it back and spluttering. "That wasn't water!"

The older witch winked. "Water wasn't what you needed."

The vodka burned down her throat, but she didn't argue. She'd take another glass if it would fix everything. How had it all started to unravel so quickly?

"Aren't you worried, Thorne? That you're going to slip up?"

She didn't have to clarify. Her friend hopped onto the stool beside her and twirled a tight curl around her finger as she thought. "Every day. It's a struggle, and not to be hurtful, but I know what's like to really be with a man. It's an ache we both feel in our relationship, but right now, we're just happy to be with each other."

"I thought we were too, but I feel it. Everytime we're together, the wall between us gets thicker. That thought that this might be all we can ever be to one another. I wonder if I'm holding him back."

"That man wants you anyway he can have you," Thorne assured, gripping her hand in hers. "You know that."

"It's only going to get worse."

"That's not helpful Viv," the younger witch snapped.

"I'm just being honest. I helped raise Raff. I helped raise Joe's girls. I know a thing or two about the shifter species, and there are certain animal traits that they can't control, especially when their emotions are heightened. The urge to mate is strong in them, and it's only a matter of time before you slip up. It's going to be even worse for Raff and Meribella. They're both fighting nature."

She thought of how hard it had been for Raff to pull away from her. She could still feel the heat of him there, pressed against her hot center. Something feral had flashed in his eyes; she recognized it because it was the same thing burning in her blood. She'd hoped it was just because it had been so long since they'd touched each other, but she knew Vivian spoke the truth. They were tempting fate- like lightning striking in a drought. Eventually, fire would catch.

"You could always take that potion," Vivian suggested, surprising Meribella with her knowledge of its existence.

"How-" she began.

"Can't answer that, but I know enough about magic, and I know how powerful the magic was that created it. It'll work. You won't be human at all anymore, and you can shift. You could be a wolf, a seal, a bird. Whatever you wanted."

"But then we could never have a child together."

"You know Raff isn't going to agree to that anyways," Thorne snapped, her tawny skin flushing with anger. "I don't even know why that's a thought in your head. If the potion would work on me, I'd take it."

"You should've seen the way he lit up at the idea of raising a baby together. He'd never admit it to me because he knows the price, but he wants to be a father."

"Then raise your little brother together, like Dorea offered."

"It's not that simple. What if I take the potion, and I lose my other powers? My Star Blessing. According to Caspian, Selkie Island is already failing because a Star Blessed doesn't live on the island."

Thorne pressed a finger to the spot between her brows and drew a deep breath. "You're all over the place. What the hell does Caspian have to do with any of this? Are you upset about you and Raff or about something Caspian said?"

Meribella looked down at her hands. "All of it. I don't want to hold Raff hostage in something that isn't going to work out in the long run. Unless I drink that potion, we will cross the line, and I will die. He's going to lose it. We all know that. He will lose himself to his wolf, and our son will grow up without a mother and father.

"But if I drink the potion, I'm condemning an entire people group. My people. The selkies are struggling to conceive and many pups die before their first birthday. It's like the magic is fading. I need to go to the island. At least for a little while."

"You're going to leave?"

Meribella nodded. She'd been toying with the idea since Caspian had first revealed how dire things were, but after the incident on the boat, she'd made up her mind. It wouldn't be forever, just long enough for her to clear her mind and think without Raff clouding her thoughts at every turn. He needed the distance too, whether he could see it now or not.

"I want to see where I came from, and I think it would be good for mom as well. We'll be back before the baby is born."

"Raff is going to shit a brick," Thorne warned, reaching around the bar and pulling out three glasses. She sloshed amber liquid into each one and passed them to Vivian and Meribella. "We might need to finish off the bottle."

Meribella forced a smile she didn't feel to her lips. She couldn't feel anything really. Everything was numb. Where her heart should be beating was a block of ice, the cold spreading into her veins, and she knew without Raff, it would remain frozen. But for him to have a chance at happiness, she was willing to exist this way.

"Why do you need an entire bottle?" Meribella asked, draining the whiskey and sticking the glass out for more.

"You've gotta tell Raff, but I've gotta tell Lincoln."

"Maybe we should make it two bottles."