I must be out of my mind for doing this.

A lot of these will probably take place in the Female!Red AU. It really depends on what kind of requests I get.

This first skit is based on an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants. It takes place a few years before the events of the first movie, so some of your favorite characters won't be in it. It'll mostly focus on Chuck and Bomb.

Halloween is no different on Bird Island than Halloween on... well, anywhere else. Owls, skeletons, ravens... But most importantly, everyone having fun. Well, almost everyone.

It was Halloween, 2009 (see what I did there?), and a young male bird was finishing his shift at a local diner. But he felt a cold breeze blow through the kitchen, and thought he heard a deep, sinister laugh. So, using his super speed, he washed all the dishes and tossed them aside, only to break most of them.

“Okay, Mr. Crowe, the dishes are done, I'm leaving!" he announced, and headed for the door, only for his boss, Mr. Crowe to block it.

“Hold on, Chuck, me boy. Don't you want to hear my annual scary story?" he asked.

“No, thanks, Mr. Crowe," Chuck insisted. “Uh, does it have monsters in it?"

“Aye... the worst monster of them all," Mr. Crowe answered.

Chuck wanted to go home, but found himself even more curious. “Is it a true story?"

“True as steel."

“Okay," Chuck decided. “Maybe just a little."

“Have a seat, son," Mr. Crowe said, and they went to a table where he lit a candle and began telling the story. “Every year on Halloween night, the Flying Harpy descends on Bird Island in a ghostly pirate ship... just like..." he held up a gravy boat, “... this, only bigger!"

“Excuse me," Chuck interrupted. “Did his ship look like a gravy boat?"

Mr. Crowe ignored him and continued, “Like I was saying, the Flying Harpy swoops down..." he pulled a worm out from the ground, “... and starts stealing people's souls."

“Do souls look like worms?"

“Aye, as a matter of fact, they do," he answered. “Then he puts them where you can never get 'em... in his soul bag."

While Mr. Crowe was laughing evilly, a pirate snuck up on the fear-ridden Chuck.

“I've come for your worm!" her squeaky voice whispered into his ear. Terrified, Chuck dashed to the other side of the room and hid behind the counter!

“Ha! Scaredy-bird gets easier to scare every year!" Mr Crowe laughed with the pirate. Chuck noticed it wasn't the Flying Harpy, it wasn't even a harpy eagle, it was one of the waitresses dressed as a pirate.

“Hmph! Stella!" he grumbled.

“Nothing like a good ghost story, eh, me boy?" Mr. Crowe asked rhetorically. “Hope you're not too scared to come to me party tonight, Chuck the scaredy-bird."

With that, Mr. Crowe left the diner, laughing.

“Steal your soul!" Stella whispered in Chuck's ear one last time, causing him to jump up, crashing through the roof.

As Chuck walked home that evening, he noticed all the creepy decorations across the village. It gave him the heebie-jeebies.

“Twick or tweat!" a hatchling chirped, causing Chuck to run off.

“It's okay, son," the hatchling's mother reassured him. “That's just Chuck the scaredy-bird."

When Chuck thought it was safe, he turned around to find a witch! He ran up a lamppost in terror, only to notice it was Willow in a witch costume.

“Happy, Halloween, scaredy-bird!" she cackled, and headed off.

“I am not a scaredy-bird!" Chuck said defiantly, and fell off the lamppost.

🎃💀🦇🦉🎃💀🦇🦉🎃💀🦇🦉

“Fern, have I ever told you how much I hate Halloween?" Chuck asked his pet plant as he carved a giant pumpkin. “Well, it's true. Every year, no matter how hard I try, everyone scares me. Well, I'm sick of it. No more scaredy-bird!"

Once Chuck finished his jack-o-lantern, he took a good look at his masterpiece... and hid behind the couch. Suddenly, he heard someone knocking at the door.

“You hear that, Fern?" Chuck said excitedly. “It's my turn to be the scarer!"

Chuck answered the door with the most terrifying face he could muster, but ended up face-to-face with a big, black bird wearing strange glasses.

“Hiya, Chuck!" he greeted, only for Chuck to run into a closet, screaming. “Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

“Why can't I be frightening for once? Where's my chance?" Chuck cried.

“If you're gonna be scary, you're gonna need a good costume."

“You're right, Bomb!" Chuck agreed. So, he grabbed a pair of scissors, cut a couple holes in a sheet, draped it over his body, and came out of the closet with pride. “What do you think?"

“Great!" Bomb said. “You're going as my trick-or-treat bag!"

“No, you dunce! I'm the ghost of the Flying Harpy!"

“Something's missing... I know!" While Chuck waited, Bomb went to a silversmith, and returned with sharp metal claws.

“Step into these babies," he said, and Chuck put them on his feet. “Terrifying!"

“I don't know, Bomb," Chuck said nervously. Before they could think of anything else, they heard the doorbell and hatchlings giggling outside.

“Come on, Chuck, it's little kids!" Bomb said. “Little kids are easy to scare!"

Chuck answered the door to find a group of hatchlings trick-or-treating and tried to put on a scary face, only for them to laugh at him.

“Look, it's the haunted cake topper!" one of them teased.

“Okay, okay, here's your candy," Chuck groaned. With that, the hatchlings took their treats, and went to the next house.

“I don't get it, Bomb," Chuck said sadly.

“Hey, Chuck, look at the paper ghost I made! Ooh! Scary..."

Chuck took a good look at the ghost, and noticed something.

“That's it!" he said excitedly. “Bomb, you're a genius!"

“I am?"

“What's the difference between that ghost and me?" Chuck asked.

“Different eye color?" Bomb answered.

“I've got a pointy head, and a real ghost has a round one," Chuck explained. “All we have to do is make my head round and boo! I'm scary."

With that settled, Chuck sat down on a chair and Bomb stood behind him, holding an electric razor.

“Okay, are you ready?" Bomb asked.

“Remember, like this," Chuck said, pointing at the paper ghost. Bomb began shaving off Chuck's bright, yellow feathers.

“You sure you wanna do this?" Bomb asked, not wanting to do anything Chuck would regret.

“Shave me down, make me round," Chuck insisted, and Bomb continued. Once all his feathers were shaved off, Chuck put his costume back on, although it was a little more itchy. “What do you think?"

“Perfect! Now, that's scary!" Bomb said, putting his glasses back on. “Let's go scare somebody..."

🎃💀🦇🦉🎃💀🦇🦉🎃💀🦇🦉

“Whooo, I'm the Flying Harpy!" Chuck moaned as he “flew" through the village.

“Ooh, I don't know who I am!" Bomb added, following him.

Chuck rang on a house's doorbell and the bird inside found him trying to make a scary face.

“Rar! I'm the Flying Harpy!" he said spookily.

“Ooh, I'm the Flying Harpy's best friend!" Bomb added. The pair ran off laughing.

“Hey, don't you kids want your candy?" the bird asked, confused.

“Oh, boy, that was something," Bomb whispered as they hid behind a bench. “Your costume really packs a punch. You scared the tail feathers off that guy!"

“Who should we scare next?!"

“There's a whole party just full of birds down at the diner," Bomb answered, “and the Flying Harpy is gonna show up uninvited."

Suddenly, they heard a group of hatchlings giggling, and Chuck jumped out at them to scare them.

“Rar! Whoo, I'm the Flying Harpy!" he said in a quavery voice, and ran off with Bomb following.

“Wasn't that the haunted cake topper?" one hatchling asked.

“I guess he's been demoted to a haunted marshmallow!" another figured, and they all laughed.

🎃💀🦇🦉🎃💀🦇🦉🎃💀🦇🦉

Later that night, almost every bird on the island gathered together to celebrate Halloween at the diner.

“Great party, huh, Stella?" Silver asked, in a strange outfit with her feathers painted golden. “I mean, Flying Harpy."

“Uh... What are you supposed to be?"

“I'm a pet canary in a cage!" Silver answered.

“I don't get it," Stella said, confused.

Meanwhile, Chuck and Bomb climbed up to the roof and approached the hole Chuck made earlier.

“You ready, buddy?" Bomb asked, and Chuck replied with a thumbs up. Bomb opened up the electrical unit and waited for the signal.

“Okay, Bomb, kill the lights," Chuck whispered, and Bomb switched the main breaker off. As everyone began screaming, Chuck was lowered down through the hole tied to a rope. Bomb held the rope with one wing, and a megaphone through the other.

Bomb laughed evilly through the megaphone. “I am the Flying Harpy! Booga booga booga booga booga! Give me your souls..."

When Bomb wasn't looking, a giant bee stung him right underneath his tail feathers, causing him to explode, literally! Bomb accidentally let Chuck fall and ran around like crazy, causing Chuck to swing all over the place. Once he stopped, everyone already recognized the sound of his voice.

“Hey, that's no Harpy, that's Chuck!" Silver pointed out, and everyone began laughing.

“Help! Help!" Chuck cried out.

“I am not Chuck!" Bomb insisted through the megaphone. “I just have a frog in my beak!"

But it was no use. Everyone continued laughing.

“Flying Harpy?" Stella giggled. “Flying baby!"

“ENOUGH!!!"

Suddenly, in a flash of lightning, a strong wind blew through the doors, bringing a thick fog with it. From the fog, appeared the ghost of a sinister harpy eagle in a pirate outfit, his eyes glowing yellow. Everyone screamed in horror as he let out an evil laugh.

“It's the real Flying Harpy!" Mr. Crowe exclaimed before fainting.

“You bet your lily white livers I'm the Flying Harpy," the ghost growled. “And I'll let you in on a little secret. I'm going to steal your souls."

Everyone just kept screaming.

“QUIET!" he shouted, silencing them. “You had it coming, you big cryhatchlings. Every year, people dressing like me! Turning the Flying Harpy name into a laughingstock!"

Nervously, Stella took off her costume.

“But that's not the reason I'm taking your souls," he explained, and approached Chuck, who was still hanging from the rope. “No, this is straw that broke the parrot's back. Out of all the Harpy costumes I've seen, yours is the most insulting!"

“Do you mean I'm not scary?" Chuck asked.

“You?! Scary?" the Flying Harpy roared in laughter, and chopped the rope with his sword, bringing Chuck back to the ground. “Let me tell you about scary, kid. There's all kinds of scary things in the world. Spiders are scary. I'm scary. You? You're not scary. Okay, let's get this over with."

With that, he returned to scaring everyone else with his evil laugh.

“Chuck, look out!" Silver shouted.

“First, I got to get rid of this stupid costume," the Flying Harpy announced, pulling the sheet off Chuck's body... only to fly off, screaming.

“Hey, what do you know? I scared him!" Chuck cheered, as everyone noticed his body was completely bare, without a feather in sight. Not even on his... nether regions. Everyone ran off in terror at the sight of it.

“It worked Bomb! I scared everybody!" Chuck said happily as Bomb joined him.

“Yeah, I guess it was your worm and berry accessories," Bomb figured.

“Worm and berry accessories?" Chuck wondered, looking down. “Oh, those are actually attached to me."

“Oh..." Bomb nodded in understanding... and ran off screaming.

“Don't worry! It grows back!"

This is why I almost gave the book a mature rating.

I have another idea for a Halloween skit, but I don't think I have time for it.

Please leave a vote! ⭐