Song of the chapter - Safety Pin by 5 Seconds of Summer

My stomach was in knots thinking about going to school the next day. I expected drama. I expected rumors. I expected angry glares from Matt and his crew. Those thoughts weren't helping my stomach at all.

After he broke up with me, I spent the rest of the day at Nico's house, mostly trying to keep my distance from him, and listening to April go on and on about how awful Matt was. I mean, for the most part she was right. But there had been times that were good, and I didn't want to forget those entirely. He had been my first boyfriend, so I wanted to remember the happier times with him. Garrett seemed to avoid me for the most part, which was fine by me. I was still trying to figure him out, and he continued to make me nervous.

April was loud, outgoing and opinionated. She was nothing like any of my friends, at all. It was refreshing to be around someone who wasn't afraid to say what they were thinking. At the same time, it was intimidating because I wondered when I would be the subject of her disapproval. That wasn't a conversation I was ready for.

When my mom texted that she was home, the three of them determined it was safe for me to leave. April jumped at the chance to give me a ride home, thank goodness. I didn't think I could handle being alone with Garrett, or survive a ride with Nico. So I grabbed the few things I had with me from school and jumped back in April's car.

"Just put your address in the app and sit back, doll. You need to relax, you still look like you're about to jump out of the car!" April laughed.

"I guess it wasn't that bad, but Garrett certainly wasn't enjoying my company" The plan was for me to hang out with them after school until they decided that Matt was no longer a potential problem. I hoped that happened soon.

"Oh, he enjoyed it just fine. You don't know him like I do." Now she was smirking at me.

"Well, he avoided me the entire time, so if that's how he enjoys company he needs to work on his hospitality skills." I crossed my arms over my chest.

April glanced my way and shook her head. "So there is a little fire in you after all. I was beginning to think you were a little mouse!" Her eyes went wide after she said that, then she clamped her mouth shut.

"I guess there is. But I'm not a mouse!" Being called a little mouse felt like an insult.

"Relax, okay? I just meant that after all that's gone on with you and Matt, and Garrett, I'm glad to see you can still speak up for yourself" her tone was softer so I decided she didn't mean to insult me.

After a ten minute ride, we pulled up in front of my house. Garrett and Nico lived in an older part of town with a few industrial buildings mixed in with older homes. My house was in a new section, but still modest and average in every way. We weren't rich, but we had enough.

"Nice place." April said as she scanned the area. "I don't see any signs of the asswipe so you should be good. Let me put Nico and my numbers in your phone so you can get ahold of any of us if he shows up later."

I gulped as I handed her my phone, both at the thought of having another confrontation with Matt, and for having Nico's information in my phone. I wouldn't be using that number, ever. I know he seemed nice enough while I was at his house, but I still had those stories going through my head. I wasn't sure his behavior was very predictable.

"Oh.my.god. Would you knock it off! Nico is not going to hurt you!"

"Because he's older than me?" I guessed.

"No! Do you honestly still believe that rumor?"

Uh oh. Looked like I was now on the receiving end of her disapproval. "Well, it does seem likely based on what I heard today."

The story went that when Nico was a freshman, he followed three seniors into the bathroom after school one day and beat them up, really badly, because he didn't like football players. He used a bunch of martial arts moves on them which was why he had been able to hurt them so bad even though he was outnumbered. The principal called the police and Nico was arrested. So he had a record and had to spend a month in some kind of juvenile detention center.

April turned in her seat to face me. "Listen to me doll, that rumor that's been floating around for the last five years is completely, one hundred percent false. It was in his best interest to let it ride, so he did. But don't you believe for one minute that he randomly beat up some seniors for the fun of it. You got me?"

She had a dead serious look on her face, but I could help my skepticism. "Well why on earth would he do it, then?"

April looked at me, long and hard. Her brows knitted together in frustration, clearly irritated with my question. "Look, you of all people should know how this works. There was only one senior, and he followed Nico into the bathroom. It was two days after he had won a Jujitsu competition and made the local paper. The guy grabbed him from behind and tried to knock him out, telling him he was a little pussy freshman and "I bet you can't kick my ass" But he won that competition for a reason and was able to use enough defensive maneuvers to get out of the hold. In the process, he knocked the guy out cold. Before he could get out of there, the guy's buddy came in and saw his friend on the ground. Then he ran to the principal. Because Nico had his brown belt, the judge felt he was a threat. Those guys had money and lawyers. Nico had a public defender. Now, because he defended himself from a bully, he has a juvenile record."

I sat in silence while listening to April retell Nico's story. As she finished, I felt ashamed. That was the only word for it, I had believed the rumors, the lies told by the populars. I was no better than them, and April was right, I should have known better.

"I don't know what to say..." I had once again jumped to conclusions, judging people who had been nothing but nice to me. "I'm sorry for following the herd and believing the rumors."

April was quiet for a moment longer, looking at me, probably trying to decide if I was sincere. She looked away, back out the front windshield and shrugged her shoulders, grabbing the steering wheel and twisting her hands back and forth on the grips.

"So, I'm picking you up tomorrow. Call if there is any trouble, got it?" April demanded, with no other word about the rumors.

"Okay. I guess I'll see you tomorrow then. Thanks...for everything." It sounded lame, but what else was I going to say?

"Yeah" was April's only response.

I got out of the car and walked up the path to my door. As I got up the steps and pulled out my house key, I turned around to wave goodbye. But April wasn't looking my way. Her gaze was still focused out the front windshield with a look that I couldn't define. I just hoped I hadn't already made an enemy.

***

Things had changed, but strangely not the way I thought they would once Matt was out of the picture. I had lain on my bed staring at the ceiling most of the night, worrying about the next days confrontation with him. We had first period together. That's how the whole thing started, he came and sat next to me, engaging me in conversation. Sitting next to him after the break up would be horrible.

Lunch had been spent with Matt and his crew, and obviously I wouldn't be sitting there anymore. His declaration as he broke up with me that I find a new place to sit at lunch was actually ridiculous. How could I not find a different spot, like I would willingly subject myself to that kind of awkward situation.

Awkward was an understatement, it would be more like torture. No one at that table even liked me. The only one who paid attention to me, other than Matt, was Pete. And I had a feeling his intentions were less than respectable, and more than just friendly.

My friends from before I dated Matt, Shannon and Maddie, hadn't talked to me in a while. Or I guess it was me who hadn't talked to them. So I decided that was where I would start, trying to get back in touch with them.

The morning came sooner than I was ready for. It'd be hard to face the consequences of deciding to date Matt, and it ending the way it had. But bright and early, and right on time, April showed up in my driveway to chauffeur me to school.

"Bye Mom!" I called out as I opened the door.

"Wait, Amber." She rounded the corner from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel. "Are you okay?"

I felt my face pale, I really didn't want to talk to her about everything. Matt had only shown his perfect side to my parents, even they didn't realize what he was like.

"Yeah, mom, I'm fine."

"You were just really quiet last night. Are you sure nothing's wrong?" The concern on her face was clear.

I needed to give her something to satisfy her detective skills. "I'm fine. Matt and I broke up yesterday, but it's okay. I'm okay." I really wasn't okay, but not for the reasons she might think.

"Oh gosh, honey, I'm so sorry! Do you want to talk about it?"

I really didn't, not with her yet. "No, I've got to get to school, Mom. April is waiting"

Crap! Now she would want to know who April was.

"April?" Her eyebrow went up. My parents liked to think they knew everything about my life, and were somewhat overprotective. Yeah, if they only knew.

"A friend from school, mom. She offered to give me rides in the morning. Gotta go, see ya!" I turned and headed out before she could say anything else.

As I rushed down the walkway to April's idling Mustang, my eyes scanned the street for any signs of Matt. Thankfully, there were none.

"Morning Doll! Ready to face the jury?" April commented as I got in the passenger seat, her nose piercing glimmering with the morning light.

"As ready as I can be, I guess."

"It'll be fine. Both Garrett and I will be around. Why don't you hang with me at lunch. My girls are...tame. You'll like 'em"

"Thanks, but I think I'll try to reconnect with Shannon and Maddie."

April gave me a side glance, "whatever you want, Doll. But I'm taking you to Nico's after, so meet me in the quad like yesterday."

I took a deep breath thinking about the day before, and all of my prejudices. I needed to let go of all of my ideas about these three and just get to know them.

"Okay, sounds like a plan"

By the end of the conversation, we were at school, in the scary back lot. As I looked around at the other students walking to class, somehow the lot didn't seem so scary anymore. I guess April had made me see things in a different light.

If I could make it through first period, I figured the rest of the day would go smoothly and I would have nothing to worry about. I took my usual seat in the front, waiting with nervous anticipation for Matt's arrival. But as class started and he still hadn't taken his seat, my nerves calmed slightly.

So I made it through the class without a confrontation, or losing my breakfast all over the place. I gathered my books and turned to leave class when I saw him. Matt had taken a seat in the back of the class and sat with his head down, concentrating on something on his phone in front of him.

My stomach flipped as I had to walk by him. I could almost feel it as he sensed my presence near him, but he never looked up at me. I kept walking and hurried to second period.

I didn't know how much longer I would be able to take things like that. Almost making contact without actual contact was possibly worse than a real confrontation. At least if he gave me a dirty look or something it would be over with. But this was more torturous because I was kept on edge for when it would finally turn ugly.

The rest of my classes were fine, I didn't usually see Matt after first period unless one of us went out of our way to see the other one. And that was usually me, Matt didn't go out of his way for anyone.

Lunch came around and I walked to the bench that I used to sit on with my friends. As I approached, I saw them sitting in the usual place, already talking and eating. My nerves struck again as I got closer to where they were, hoping they would understand.

"I have so much homework tonight!" Shannon complained.

"That sucks. I'm lucky that two of my teachers were out today. We got to finish whatever homework we had in those classes. I'll be free to Netflix...all night long!" Maddie bragged back.

"You suck" Shannon laughed.

I swallowed my nerves and spoke up. "Hey girls, mind if I join you?" My voice shook a little as I asked.

Maddie looked up at me, but Shannon kept her head down. This didn't seem to be going in my favor, already.

"Well, look who decided to grace us with her presence. What, now that your hot boyfriend dumped you we're good enough for you again?" Maddie glared at me as she spoke.

I hadn't realized how they felt about me and Matt. How could I make them understand the control he had when no one but me ever saw that side of him.

"No, it's not like that! I missed you guys, you just don't understand what it's been like."

"Whatever, Amber. We know the rules, populars stick to their own kind, and we aren't it. Guess you have to pay the price for thinking you were one of them." Maddie looked away from me, effectively shutting down the conversation.

"I...I'm sorry, okay. It wasn't my choice, honestly. Matt was...he..." I was too embarrassed to say how he had treated me. I think part of me felt like I deserved it for some strange reason. Maybe that's why I had let it go on as long as it had.

"Just go." was all Maddie would say to that.

I turned, tears now being shed over the situation, and walked away. It was official, dating Matt had cost me everything.

My heart finally broke. It broke for the innocence of first love that I had given up by dating someone that didn't care enough about me. It broke for the friendships I had let slip through my fingers. It broke for the misunderstanding that the entire school had about the situation. But, most of all, it broke because nothing would ever be the same again.

^^^^^
A/N Well...what did you think? It's not easy to admit you made a huge mistake, is it?

If you liked it, don't forget to tap the star to vote. It takes less than a second and helps so much!! Thanks!

Garrett is up next and we finally get to see what he thinks of all that's been going on...

5SOS has a pop punk sound with Safety Pin, and it gives me an April vibe. I think Amber is going to find out that her broken heart will be pieced together little by little. And in ways she never expected!

And since I couldn't find a video to entertain you with, here are 5SOS gifs to enjoy...

And...