I got the idea from reading firestar4ever's spoof book and how she called Heavystep a zombie cat...it was hilarious and I got some ideas... :)

*Lionheart walks onto the stage*

Lionheart: Hi, and welcome to our newest show called, The Erins Could Not Make Up Their Minds! Hawkheart please come out!

*Hawkheart marches out*

Hawkheart: My fur changes colors! For most of the books, I was dark brown but for the Yellowfang book thing or whatever, I got magically changed to gray fur! *waves a magic wand and his fur changes from brown to gray*

Lionheart: Ok then. That was super lame and boring. *pushes Hawkheart off the stage* Who's next?

*Jayfeather rides onto the stage in his stolen monster*

Jayfeather: ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lionheart: Nothing got magically changed in the books about you!

Jayfeather: No, they made a huge mistake! They said I was sane in ALL of the books!

*Birchfall appears blasting donuts at Jayfeather and the blind medicine cat quickly speeds away*

Lionheart: All right then. Who's actually supposed to be next?

*Cinderpelt(not Cinderheart) limps out*

Lionblaze(from the crowd): HI SWEETHEART!

*Cinderpelt glares at him*

Cinderpelt: I'm not your girlfriend! I'm Cinderpelt!

Lionheart: What did they do to you?

Cinderpelt*excitedly*: I was so happy when in the exclusive manga after Yellowfang's Secret, they pictured me without this useless leg! I was SO HAPPY not to be crippled!

*Cinderpelt's leg magically fixes itself and she runs off of the stage*

Lionheart: Our medicine cat needs to talk to them about doing that for poor Briarlight. Next?

*Brokenstar comes out*

Lionheart: You don't belong here! Go back to the Dark Forest!

Brokenstar: They told me in one Super Edition I fought RiverClan apprentices at my first Gathering and the other one I was fighting WindClan! So confused...

*Lionheart slices his claws across Brokenstar's throat and shoves him into a garbage bag*

Lionheart: Someone sane from StarClan please?

*Frogtail appears*

Frogtail: I never had a mentor! I thought it was Archeye but they never mentioned my mentor in the allegiances...

*Lionheart places duct tape over her mouth*

Lionheart: That was more boring than Hawkheart's story! You don't even have a demonstration! Can I please just have someone interesting?

*Cloudtail steals the microphone from Lionheart*

Cloudtail*quickly*: They never mentioned I like cookies!!!!!!

*Hands the microphone back to Lionheart and runs off*

Lionheart: You and your cookie obsession...you all are boring our viewers! I'm quiting if I don't get something impressive right now!

*Rowanclaw walks over*

Rowanclaw: Hi. For the first two series I was a she-cat but now they decided I'm a tom. Bye, I gotta go watch the reruns of...

*Lionheart knocks him out*

Lionheart: Sorry, but I didn't want him to start talking about his reruns of Family Feud. Two more stories and then it's my bedtime, I have to go to bed at 7 PM every night and I can't fall asleep without my pink teddy bear named Fuzzy.

*Dawnbright and Mallowtail march out together*

In unison: We both died,

So everyone cried,

But we reappeared as warriors and now we're alive,

So everyone gave each other high fives.

Yeah! Poetry power,

Tonight there will be rain showers!

*Smokefoot rushes out*

Smokefoot: I did better than that! I jumped off a cliff and survived! When I magically teleported myself to the new ShadowClan camp, everyone was shocked. The Erins had to republish a book because they had to add me to the allegiances!

*Teleports everyone to the Grand Canyon and waves before jumping over the edge*

*Lionheart and everyone else watching gasps and watches, looking horrified. Well, not everyone. The ShadowClan cats hardly raise an eyebrow*

Blackstar: Oh, stop worrying. He'll appear in the apprentices den in about five minutes. Now the problem is getting back home since we don't have teleportation powers...