Chapter 5 : Perplexity

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[A/N : Italic text in general means the character is thinking it inside their head.]

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Caught completely off guard, Avni didn't know how to handle the situation, resorting to nervous stammering, "Nna naahin toh!"

"Hmm toh aise ghoor kyun rahi ho?(Hmm, why are you staring like that?)" Neil, phlegmatic and focused on his files, fired another arrow of a question towards her.

"Nahi bilkul nahin, mera naam Neil Khanna thodi hain!(No, not at all, Do you think my name is Neil Khanna or what!)" She moved her head left and right, defending her lie.

"YOUUU little...be..." Neil was about to thunder but composed himself, realizing he couldn't get distracted and shouldn't engage in more conversation than required. The incident from that night was still fresh in his mind, so he didn't prolong the matter and fell silent. That was it—the only exchange they had in the car.

However, the more he tried to avoid her, the more difficult it became!

As they approached Avni's college, Neil cleared his throat, "Pa.. ri..i...Ahemm!!! 

Avni, if you need something, call me or someone at the house, okay? If I'm late, don't go wandering alone like yesterday. Wait for me or call me. Am I clear?"

Saying so, he kept his eyes fixed on the road, not once glancing at her. On the contrary, Avni kept staring at him intently. She noticed he was almost about to call her "Pari" but later summoned her "Avni" pricking her heart.

Although Avni vividly knew she should be angry with him and shouldn't get weak for him so soon or find pleasure in his affection, yet she can't help but find herself in the position of coveting his care! Affection! L o v e!

She recalled how restless Neil was the other day when he arrived about 10 minutes late and couldn't find Avni near the college entrance. His desperate eyes unveiled all the secrets he intended to conceal. There was a magical peace in the scolding he gave after finding her, reminiscent of the young Neil who used to scold her similarly. The difference now was that she used to cry back then, but this time all she could do was stare.

Despite enduring numerous pains for six long years, she couldn't get over that man who had made commitments of love and care to her. The dream of getting married in front of everyone when they grew up, promises of belonging to her forever, these memories lingered.

Although the idea of marrying at that certain young age had come from her as being naive she wasn't probably thinking straight! But Neil being Neil fulfilling everything she uttered without hesitation! Why would he? She was his little universe. It was a big deal for him that Avni herself wanted to marry him. She was young and mischievous, and he loved her deeply. The concept of marriage at that age sounded like an adventure. After all, they were destined to get married when they became adults, so marrying at that time seemed quite reasonable to him. Something quite natural.

They went to a secluded temple and got married. Neil was ready with all the arrangements before the priest could ask anything. Avni's face beamed with happiness when he filled her hair parting with the red vermilion. She loved the idea of being his only, but more than that, making him hers, ONLY hers!

Perhaps she was a little insecure, thinking she was never good enough for him.

He excelled in studies, while she disliked studying.

He was perfect at everything, and she was only perfect in admiring him.

Call it a teenage crush or naive love, but Avni was fascinated by him.

When he stopped contacting her, the devastation she underwent was inexplicable. Insecurities piled up, and her self-esteem shattered.

Yet, proving to be strong, Avni collected herself over time, though those vows and dreams were just childhood fantasies, thoughts built by her defense mechanism.

As Neil wasn't around to claim that she is his wife, wasn't it best to move on? During this time, because she felt Neil betrayed her, she channeled all her energy into studying and did very well. Previously, she studied to make him happy, and after he vanished, she studied so that if she ever had to meet him, she could be on par with him academically.

Still, not for a single second could she hate him, except for a faint wish of making him regret leaving her in this pool of confusion after showering so much love into her life.

He was the one who taught her how to love, what love, care, or affection meant. He made her realize what delight was. And then gradually decided to desert her without explaining what mistake she had made.

Avni blamed herself for a considerable time, convinced that Neil got bored of her because she was good for nothing and slowly drifted away. With growing time and age, she started to believe it entirely. Her elder brother, Aman, also played a significant part in this. When Avni's self-esteem was crushed, her teen hormones and puberty played a role, and Aman, being the elder sibling, often made her feel utterly useless with his temper issues. Nevertheless, she regained her spirit from her parents as Aman matured with time and stopped treating Avni poorly.

Whilst, Avni's unconditional love for Neil seemed to only increase with every passing moment. She is an emotional creature, and the worst part is that she seems to have underestimated her love for him. Knowing somewhere that she still isn't strong enough she decided to enter the lion's den to pursue her studies in Delhi. She told herself everyday that she had moved on and he would not affect her anymore. That's becoming a difficult lie to deal with now!

She should have known herself better!

Over the years of separation, whenever there was a discussion about Neil in her family, she couldn't help but eavesdrop, her heart always wanting to know the tiniest details about him. She consistently gathered intel about Neil's whereabouts, keeping a tab on him and his activities.

"How could I even underestimate my own stupid heart, Neil!

It doesn't even know how to function without you.

How silly of me to think I can forget you without your permission!

Why can't I feel anything except love...for you!" Looking at Neil's plump cherry lips, Avni bit her lower lip, regretting for the umpteenth time.

"After you kissed me that night what did my heart do? It only screamed for forgiveness!! Whenever you called me Jaan I just wanted to melt into your arms and shackle you to me, forever. Tell you to never leave me ever again. How could I forget your single touch can invoke such unspeakable desires within me. I didn't even know what lust is until...........

But whenever I see you all I want is to make you fully mine. Even now I just want to kiss that mole in your lip. Hug you tightly and cry for eternity. If that could return my old Neil.

Am I dragging this too far?

Should I reconcile with Neil?" ~~~

His sharp voice broke the turmoil of thoughts Avni was having, "Avni, ghar aa gaya hain, utro!(Avni, we've reached home. Get off the car)" Lost in thoughts of the same man, Avni found no space in her mind.

She looked at him, dazed.

"No, no, no. Why! Why Neil Khanna! Why, even after leaving me for so many years, do you still have so much power over my mind, soul, and body?

My body is on the verge of betraying me, and in my heart, I can't even believe but I might have already forgiven you.

How can I? Just because of your one single confession of sorry! Just one look at you and my entire world stops... All I want is to hug you close!

You have no idea how much of a war is going on between my heart and brain. It's as if they don't belong to me.

Mr. Neil Khanna, what are you? No. I won't let you gain control over me again.

Nooo..Never!"

"Avni, aaj yehi rehna hain kiya tumhe and tum phirse mujhe ghoor rahi ho (Avni, do you want to stay here today? And You are doing that again? Staring at me?)?" Neil raised his eyebrows. She is acting so weird.

Finding no answer from her, he started walking towards the mansion.

"Aise hi baas chodke chale jana aata hain aapko Neil! (All you know is how to abandon anyone..Just like this!)" Avni finally moved her lips, a bitter smile blooming. The calmness in her voice froze Neil instantly as he turned around!

He looked at her with an astonished expression, confused about how to respond. But before he could say anything, Avni swiftly ran from there, leaving a dumbfounded Neil standing for a few seconds and then following her steps, he too entered into the mansion.

"Areh wah.. Aa gaye aaplog itni jaldi?(Wow you two are home so soon?)" Daadi said with a warm smile. She gazed upon Neileet and both of them seemed worn off and tired.

"Go freshen up. You both look very tired I will serve the food...Nakul..." Savitri walked towards the kitchen.

Both nodded and headed upstairs to their respective rooms. Before taking a warm shower, Avni suddenly noticed all her belongings were missing. In a state of confusion, she went to the dining hall. Finding Savitri Devi there, Avni asked, "Daadi maa, I noticed something strange mera sara saman gayeb hain? (I noticed all my belongings have disappeared?)"

Dadi grabbed her forehead, saying, "Arre haan! Hum toh bilkul bhool gaye thhey aapko batana beta. Aaj hi humne aapka samaan shift karke study room ke paas wale kamre mein rakhwa diya hai. Aapko bura toh nahi laga na beta? I am so sorry aapko bina bataya ye karna pada....

(Oh yes! I completely forgot to tell you, dear. Today itself, I shifted your belongings to the room near the study. Hope that's ok, dear? I am so sorry I had to do this without informing you...)" 

Before she could finish, Avni interrupted with a nervous smile, "Nahin dadimaa, aap ye kya keh rahi hain, mera matlab ye nahin tha. Main toh bas thoda confused ho gayi thi, ke kahin yaha saman churane wala ghost toh nahin ha ha ha. 

(No, grandma, what are you saying? I didn't mean that. I was just a little confused, thinking maybe there's a ghost here who loves to steal stuff, ha ha ha.)"

"Avni, aap bhi na bacche, bohot funny ho, par humein batane toh dijiye kyun shift karna pada aapka samaan, aapko yaad hain Juhi ki baat? (Avni, you are so funny, but tell us why we had to shift your belongings. Do you remember Juhi?)" Daadi asked.

"Juhi kaun?(Juhi? Which one??)" She tapped her finger on her chin, trying to remember, "Arreh haan, woh aapki friend ki poti jo abroad mein rehti hain?(Ohh Yess...I remembered. The granddaughter of your friend who stays abroad right?)"

"Haan, exactly wahi. Woh Australia mein rehti hai, aur woh aaj India aa rahi hai kuch kaam se, aur yahaan hamare saath kuch din ke liye rahegi. Aapko waise bhi padhai karni hogi na, to study ke paas wala kamra aapke liye better hain, ye socha humne aur Shweta ne. Aur aap jahaan reh rahi thi, wahaan Juhi rahegi. Aapko koi aitraaz hai toh aap koi aur kamra bhi chun sakti hain. Par hamein laga study ke paas wala best hai! Waise bhi aap to adhe se zyada waqt study mein rehti hain!

(Yes, exactly. She lives in Australia and is coming to India today for some work. She will stay with us for a few days.

Since you have to focus on your studies, I thought the room near the study would be better for you, so Shweta and I decided you to move there.

And Juhi will stay in this room. But dear, if you have any objections, you can choose another room. I simply thought the one near the study is best! Besides, you anyway spend more than half your time studying!)" Daadi finished with a smile and waited for Avni to reply.

Avni suddenly remembered that the room Daadi was talking about is very near to Neil's room. Basically, the only distance between her and Neil's room is that study room. That means she has a higher probability of seeing him often now, and that's not going to bode well for the war within her brain nor heart.

Hence, Avni was almost on the verge of denying, but then again, seeing Savitri's happy face, she stopped. She couldn't raise any suspicions either, so she decided she would deal with that problem later and told Daadi that she had no problem with a big smile.

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After finishing her meal, Avni went upstairs to the study room and fell asleep due to exhaustion.

Shweta, Neil's mother, came to call Avni as Juhi had arrived, intending to introduce Avni to her. However, she found Avni sound asleep, innocent like a child.

Gently caressing Avni's face, she thought, "Neil is going to be so lucky to have a doll of a wife like Avni. They will make wonderful children. I can't wait to meet my grandchildren. Hayee..." Lost in a daydream, Shweta walked into Neil's room.

Neil was working on his laptop. Shweta informed him of Juhi's arrival and suggested that he should come and meet her. Also mentioned that she tried to call Avni, but she was sleeping.

Since Vicky, Isha, and Alin were out attending a friend's birthday party, Neil should go and accompany Juhi to ensure she doesn't feel lonely and is comfortable here.

Hearing his mother, Neil typically arched his eyebrows. He disliked interruptions, especially while he was engrossed in work.

However, since Juhi is close to their family and a very good friend of his, Neil reluctantly murmured a faint, "OK" to his mother.

Meanwhile, as he stepped outside, unable to resist seeing Avni, he found himself bound by his compelling desire.

In the car, he had avoided all eye contact with her, but now he found himself yearning for just one look. After the recent incidents, he is quite unsure how to approach her. But that never stopped his longing to glance at her devastatingly beautiful face!

Finally, giving in to his urge after fidgeting a little, Neil got up.

Upon entering Avni's room, he rather found Juhi standing there with Savitri, "Areh Neil betey, chalo fursat mil hi gayi aapko apne kaam se?(Dear Neil. Looks like you finally got some time?)" Daadi flashed a fond smile.

A puzzled Neil couldn't understand why they were in Avni's room, where is she, and what he would explain if they asked why he was there!!

Returning a meek smile, Neil replied, "Ji Daadi."

Turning to Neil, Juhi stated with dramatic style, "NK! Mr. Neil Khanna !! Kaise hain aap? Aap toh humein yaad hi nahin kartey toh dekho hum yaha aa gaye aap sabse milney.

(Mr. Neil Khanna! NK!! How are you? 

See you don't even remember me, so I come here instead to meet you all.)" Flashing a warm smile.

"Hey, Juhi, ye bohot galat baat hain you should have informed earlier? Ulta chor kotwal ko daante! Not fair. Khair I am always fine, what about you?" Neil smiled, and they started regular chit-chatting. His bond with Juhi was amicable!

Meanwhile, Avni woke up and looked at the clock. It's 7 pm. She has to study now! Freshening up, Avni was just thinking of opening her book when some intense female giggling entered her ears. It seemed to be coming from Neil's room. It was not Isha or Dadima or Neil's mother; she was sure of that.

Out of curiosity, Avni strolled towards his room and then heard Alin and Vicky's voices too. 

Now, that got Avni even more confused yet intrigued. 

Peeking like a curious kitten, Avni saw all of them sitting on the sofa while Neil was on his bed, giving his infamous smirk, and some unidentified girl was also sitting among them. 

A gorgeously pretty one that is. Wearing a stylish light blue A-line dress that ended its length a few inches under her knee, a lean feminine body with silky opened hair, sitting with a crossed leg position. She seemed smart and hot both.

Neil sensed Avni's presence pretty instantly and glanced toward Avni immediately. Their eyes met, and everyone followed his gaze to see what he was looking at so intently. They all saw Avni cutely standing at the door, rooted and confused.

"Woh main, aise hi yahaan se..." She couldn't even finish; Alin and Vicky screamed in unison, "Avni!"

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