.

.

.

With that, we got into our respective cars. Sparks gunned it out of there while I took a moment to settle down my nerves. And maybe take a moment to process the relief in my system.

"...Bucky? Thank you."

He grunted in response. Arms crossed tightly across his chest. Eyes dead set out the windshield and a pouty frown on his face.

"I won't make you go or stay anymore. I'll leave it up to you."

He relaxed a tad, sinking a bit into his seat. "Get me to stay if you know you're still in danger."

I chuckled. "There's no way I would be able to stop you if you wanted to go. I'd probably have better luck stopping a reaper drone.... Yeah, I probably most definitely stand a better chance stopping a reaper drone without Eve than stopping you."

"Use your voice," he offered. "Order me to stay. My head's not all here... but I want to help."

I sighed heavily.

I didn't like it. Let alone ordering him around. When it came to his freedom, even less. But he had a point. What good would it do if he raced off in a panic?

"Oh, I'm a shittier human being than I thought."

"Valeriy, this is something I want to do... but there are times wh... where...."

'Resist the urge to pluck that damn lip out.' From between his teeth as he gnawed on it like there's no tomorrow. Terrible for his lip.

"...times where I.... I don't want to go back... to them..." he said so quietly, that I almost couldn't hear the words.

He curled into himself, backing into the seat as if some force was pushing him and he had to fight it.

"Are you sure you want don't want to go with Sparks? It's safer with Gramps, Bucky. They're far more likely to get to you if you're around me...."

Trying not to irritate my ribs, I twisted in my seat to be able to use my left hand. Not all too sure he'd like the metal of my right.

But he flinched anyways before I could even lay a hand on his knee. His eyes squeezed shut, his head shaking.

"It's not that," he forced through his clenched teeth, grinding down on them when he tried to continue.

"I can't promise or guarantee anything... but I'll be doing whatever I can to keep them away, Bucky."

It's not nearly as much as what could be done if he was on a jet with Sparks and on his way to Gramps. I need a lot more information on Hydra to even start.

"Valeriy..." he called out, head tilting my way. Those blue eyes were so expressive, screaming out what terrified him to say.

But I couldn't find words to what they scream.

"You're not alone," I found myself saying, reaching out to him.

The skin on his cheek still so soft. Well worth the sting of twisting my torso too much. Especially when his body sagged with an almost placated sigh.

"...Some... sometimes the only thought in my head is... i-is that... that I need to go back...."

'Oh shit.... He had mentioned... something about that before.'

Weeks ago.

When I backed away, his hand snapped up, wrapping around my left. His calloused thumb glided over each of my knuckles. His eyes followed the movement. As if my hand would suddenly crumble to dust, he cautiously manipulated my fingers around, tangling his with mine.

"You've stopped me before... before I ran back.... Please don't... please don't let me go back to them."

The tears in those haunted eyes didn't escape. As if a dam made of sheer force of will held everything back.

"I'll do my best," I assured.

"Thank – What are you – Why are you – How many blankets are back there?"

"They're good for hidings things. Like valuables. Last thing I need is people breaking the windows and robbing us. And sometimes I don't like sitting on leather."

"This is more than enough," he stated, folding a blanket only to have me wrap him up in it again when he moved onto another. "Valeriy."

"You need some rest and to grow back some of that scruff before I drown you with blankets.... That and I'm going to be blasting the A.C."

"I'd rather have a gun of some sort than all these blankets."

I popped open the glove compartment and motioned him to have at it with either of the dart revolvers there. Each loaded with knock out darts for emergencies.

"Are you sure I should...?"

"Go ahead."

"What if I... if I...."

"Shoot me? It's harmless. I'd just sleep. You've got the reflexes to deal with the car if it's moving at that time. If it makes you feel better, take them. Would put me at ease to know I got a sharpshooter carrying, asleep or not. We both know I'm not the best of shots. It's a win all around."

As he checked both over, I threw the car in drive once again, knowing well I didn't have a chance of running over Bucky since he was sitting right next to me. The tree roots were not agreeing with my ribs. They were very unhappy with any bounce to the car.

"I... I don't want to... to sleep," Bucky muttered into the blankets.

"You'll pass out eventually, whether you like it or not," I pointed out.

I learned that when I slept through most of my physics final.... Or when I started micro sleeping... behind the wheel.

The young man next to me merely stared down at the revolver cradled in his hands. A massive frown on his face.

"Is it the nightmares?" I asked.

Those things tended to keep people up.

Bucky chewed on his bottom lip. "...A little. If I close my eyes for too long... I don't want to wake up and find myself with them.... What if I wake up and attack the first person I see? You're the only one in the car. What if – what if I... don't recognize you?"

'That's a shit load to juggle.'

But he really needed sleep. Preferably not passing out while we're running from something.

"The blankets are warming up, yeah?" I asked.

His head dipped in a nod, more of his face disappearing into the bundle of blankets.

"When you wake up, it'll be all warm and soft. Probably be super toasty with your body heat. In all likelihood, you might feel the warmth in your dreams. Should be the first thing you notice when you wake up, then the soft, fluffy, fluffy blankets, and that'll tell you, you're here with me. All bundled up with blankets."

"...And if I don't recognize you?"

"Hmmm.... My voice? Worked... last... time...?"

He responded with a huge sigh, his head tilting as he eyed me. His face the embodiment of exasperated.

"Well, it worked, didn't it?" I asked.

Nervously, he pulled at his left sleeve. Something he did far too often. Probably just to be sure that nothing of his cybernetic arm showed.

"Feeling a bit better about sleeping?"

My periphery caught the smallest of nods from him. Even saw him tuck the gun under his thigh.

"Oh, and if you're feeling cold, you can turn on the heated seat thing. Three levels on that."

There was an almost huffing laugh from him. A soft sigh.

He shifted a little, and it was almost immediate, his head dropping into sleep. It even lolled to the side when I turned onto the main road.

'Yup. He's going to have a sore neck when he wakes up.'

No way in hell he wouldn't.

I slipped an earbud into my ear. "Eve?" I called out in a whisper, eying Bucky for any signs of being disturbed from sleep.

"A little busy with a situation. What do you want?"

The irritation poured into her voice.

"Need D'amour? I can pull over."

"No. I have a handle on this."

"I'm sorry."

"...I'm doing what I can, Val. Just... just don't break again."

I had no witty reply to that. There was nothing I could say that would be true, and there was no point lying to Eve. I was barely holding it together as it was.

At least I had Bucky.

When everything else was practically falling apart.

.

. ** .

.

.

Author's Note:

If you enjoyed this part, please consider leaving a vote. They're very much appreciated. ^^

.

I'm not sure when Chapter 18 will be ready for posting. It's a mess, and it will take some time to clean up. Apologies for the future delays.