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"My code name... it's not known outside of the family, Security Department and Eve's Puppets.... The fact that they know I'm Cookie Dough should be a piece of info I could at least trace to a leak. But nope. I don't know what this whole shit storm is about. I can't even find who is behind this....

"I even checked my usual haunts. Most of them now have a new regular with a lovely concealed side arm.... Haven't been able to find a whisper of their orders. Jekyll isn't a company with the means to have someone with cleanup skills on par with Eve... at least not when I poked around their systems back in April.... Information has never been this scarce for me...."

"Why can't she hear this?" Bucky asked, hand waving to the ether. "You should be working together. The two of you think differently.... She might find something you didn't."

"Eve probably did? Probably knows a lot more too. She's been on this far longer than I have. And I might have a piece she hasn't figured out? But it's best that she doesn't confirm what I know. Plausible deniability or some shit... It's damn near impossible, but her files can be accessed.

"Information means everything. People can't ask about the things they don't know they don't know. The less they know, the less they can ask. The ones after me have already changed up their movements based on what they think I know...."

Those bright blue eyes darted over my way. His bottom lip found itself being gnawed on between his teeth. "I... know more than I should... don't I?"

"Yeah.... That you do. Like how I'm not utterly daft...."

My nerves still coiled unpleasantly at that very thought. Somebody not completely protected knowing more than they should about me. He'd be so much better with Gramps. Far, far away from any unsavoury folks.

"Why tell me? You know I'm a risk...." His voice so very small. Almost scared.

He was right. He's a risk. So was anybody else who knew.

"It can't be... can't be just because I asked. Hydra... they can make me talk. They'll find out about you. I... I should have never ask –"

"It'll be alright, Bucky," I assured with a smile.

"It's not!"

"Whatever comes of it, it'll be alright.... The very first few words, the thing about the windows? That was an honest slip.... The rest served their purpose. Having you temporarily in Hydra's hands is no longer a viable option for Eve. She wouldn't leave you there for Gramps, but she'll keep you out of their hands for me.... Well, more likely for our Security Department. That's most important."

Bucky did not like what he was hearing, the words coming out of my mouth. That massive frown he sported said as much. Whether it was due to the utter lack of information bit or the manipulation, I couldn't be sure. Maybe it was something else entirely.

"I'm raised by Eve, Bucky. Bound to pick up a few things from her. I'm not as good at making people dance on strings as she is, but I'm not above using what I can.... She can't risk the info you know leaking.... Nor can I. Can't exactly play dumb about my awesome bomb-ness if people know. Or the fact that I actually know more than the info people want when it comes to our security systems and stuff.... Last thing I want is to be stuck in one building for the rest of my life. That's no fun."

"It'd be a lot safer," he pointed out with a sigh.

"Eh," I shrugged. "I'd probably spend my time clawing at the walls trying to escape.... That and at the moment, I do not want to be around anyone from Ayers Corp."

"...You don't trust –? You suspect somebody on the inside."

"Somebody with a lot of access. It would explain the whole Cookie Dough thing.... Pretty sure I was supposed to be poisoned with the rest of my dumbass newbie guards that night...? Good thing I was looking forward to eating with you and got a horrid habit of skipping my meals. Would not be doing any escaping if I was keeled over with fake food poisoning.... I've taken that exact blend since Amber made it for me to get out of an exam so I can attend some stupid gala. Symptoms last for a few hours. More than enough time to...."

The leather of the steering wheel squealed under Bucky's hand adjusting its grip. "They have to have someone on the inside. It can't be stolen by anyone else.... I've seen the security plans. Everything's covered and accounted for. It has to be a mole."

"We know of every single mole in Ayers. They have access to shit. Eve's the best at her job."

"They could have turned somebody."

I could feel my nose wrinkle in distaste. "Whoever it is, I don't even want to know. The more I dig into this, the less I like what I'm seeing. I'm going to just lay low until everybody's tired of wasting money on this.... I get I'm a pawn, but at least clue me into the bloody plan. But no. They don't. So I'm not fucking going along with it. Screw them," I huffed, crossing my arms and regretting the bump to my fucked up ribs.

I didn't even know if there was someone with such access who didn't share my last name....

"...Would you have...?" Bucky questioned, words coming out slowly, carefully. "If they told you to...."

"Got no choice...? There is a purpose to a lot of their weird ass plans. None of which had involved my kidnapping before since that's bad press if it gets out.... I do not want to get disowned for disobedience again. Not fun. At all."

An irritated huff pulled from his lungs. "...The librarian, she mentioned that you were... disowned."

"Librarian? Oh, hahaha. Sparks? Yeah.... She and I officially met for the first time near the end of that whole fiasco.... I was sixteen when –"

The words stop, right behind my teeth. Fear of the consequences wired my jaw shut. I couldn't even bring myself to look at anything that wasn't the pair of knees right in front of my face. Pretend nothing else existed beyond them.

"...Valeriy?"

There was no way in hell that Bucky didn't notice me jump at his voice.

"Don't force yourself to answer because I asked. I don't want to make you remember those...."

I shook my head. "It's not the memories. I...I've never put most of what happened into words before.... If this got out, I'd be – probably get my ass disowned again... and with Jekyll or whoever the fuck it is.... Haha... ha...."

"If you need to let it out, you're welcome to. I have no one to tell.... There was this article I read. Talked about how speaking to somebody helps." His words were soft, no edge to them. The distant tone it usually held gone.

'So that's what had his face glued to the laptop.'

Pulling at anything that could be of help every single day. Instead of running away and avoiding everything. I had no idea how he does it, and I couldn't help but admire that spirit of his.

'Hopefully, Eve kept him away from the sites that'd have him self diagnosing weird ass shit....'

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. He was calm. Relaxed almost, except for a little tick to his right hand. Sort of like the times he tried about reaching out to me, but as usual, he stopped himself.

"What I went through is child's play compared to you, Bucky. You don't need to hear me bitching about it."

"I enjoyed listening to you explain what you were doing to the arm. It calmed me. Kept me in the moment instead of being... being stuck with them... stuck in the past.... Your voice is soothing."

"Aren't you quite the charmer?" I teased, jumping at a chance for anything that wasn't this.

"I think... I might have been... over seventy years ago."

Maybe not this.

The uncertainty in his voice was heartbreaking.

"...I wouldn't doubt it..." I found myself whispering back. "You're welcome to talk to me as well, Bucky. I'm not half bad at keeping secrets."

"I'll give you nightmares, Valeriy." He glanced my way, lips parting for a moment and dropped the barely formed words with a sigh. "I'll consider talking if it gets too much for me. The journals are working so far."

"Do let me know how I can be of help, 'kay? Or you may find yourself being bundled up by blankets. Lots of fluffy, fluffy blankets.... You're not alone, Bucky. Not anymore."

"Neither are you."

'...Not alone, huh...?'

And with a deep breath, I forced the memories into words. "I stepped out of line and... got disowned for it. Right after I was told that I got Amber killed. That her body was found in multiple ditches.... Parents got the lawyers involved and bribed a judge to get me kicked to the curb with nothing but the clothing I wore and a name that got my ass kidnapped within the week.... They forbade Eve from helping. It's one of the things we keep fighting about."

"What could you have done to earn that punishment?" he questioned in controlled calm. "You were sixteen..."

I couldn't help the flinch at the crack that echoed through the car. The wheel in Bucky's hands... It now sported a new look. A fissure in the wood, the leather barely holding it together.

I shrugged, trying to shake off the sound of splintering wood. "Something about not listening to them and sticking my nose in something I shouldn't have...? Back then, I was in the habit of checking into who our corporation was getting in bed with. Gramps encouraged it since I was in line for replacing my parents when they retire.... I sunk a big business deal of theirs, and we have seriously nasty tempers. It can get a little out of hand?"

"A little?" Bucky repeated through clenched teeth. "How could a parent –" He bit into his lip with anger.

A forced laugh found its way out of me. "Disownment makes sense for an escalation. It's only ever temporary? They have to keep up an image, which I'm a part of. At least we never got spanked and stuff...? Mostly was abandoned in restaurants and hotels whenever we misbehaved. The whole 'if you don't behave by the count of three, we're leaving you here' thing."

"They did what!?!" he demanded rather slack jawed.

"Left us behind whenever we were still misbehaving by the count of three...?"

'The hell did I do wrong?' I wondered when Bucky levelled me a particularly icy glare. If only the seat could swallow me whole. "I was a nosy ass kid and got in a shit load of trouble.... Learned my lesson. Now I keep my head down and do as told."

'For the most part.'

"That's not...." He cut himself off with a giant, body slumping sigh. "Your grandfather... where was he in all this?"

"Utterly clueless and buried under work as per usual?"

"Your brother?"

"Just as clueless and was off at uni when that happened?"

"...The Librarian...?"

Laughing, I flapped my hand dismissively. "No, Sparks and I weren't friends yet. She was there to make sure I wasn't killed? Or end up in the news again. If I got close to either, it's her job to keep the image pristine.... She was brand new to the field and wanted to get on the parents' good side....

"When I was stuck in that basement... I did have some hope that somebody might... help? But that faded pretty quickly. At least the kidnappers were.... They were nice? Didn't cut something off every time my parents refused to give them the info they wanted...."

He gave me another semi long glance from the corner of his eyes. "...You knew the information they wanted, didn't you?"

"...Yeah... was security info they wanted... which I'll know better than my parents ever will.... I guess I could have stopped the whole thing whenever I wanted...? At the cost of the parents' safety... and everyone else's. That and telling them doesn't mean they'll stop. If I knew that info, what else would I know? My freedom to walk around and explore places is dependent on how dumb the rest of the world believes I am...."

Then silence....

Except for the wind whipping by the car. The hum from the engine filling the air inside.

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Author's Note:

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