Author's Note:

I'm always trying to improve my ability to pull a person into a character's headspace or feel their emotions, and your feedback will help me know if what I'm trying for is working or not. Even an emoticon or button smashing tells me something useful and can influence what I write more or less of.

I respond to all comments and it's always fun to hear your thoughts ^^

.

.

. ** .

.

On my left, the mattress shifted.

Blind panic made its home in me.

My fingers wound themselves around a plastic box under my pillow. With a twist of my body, I drove the taser down next to me. Where the movement came from.

Ice ran through my veins.

I hit nothing but the sheets.

The pain flaring at my sore ribs screamed that I wasn't going to be able to fend for myself.

From the corner of my eyes, a large blob covered part of the wall. I took aim, praying that my finger found the trigger on the side of the box in time.

The face that greeted me wasn't his.

The eyes were bright blue, brimming with confusion. The hair was much longer. Lighter too, in the few rays of sunshine that slipped through the curtains.

It's not him. It wasn't him. It's –

"Bucky..." I breathed out, relief flooding my system.

Brows furrowed on that handsome face. Shoulders tensed up to his ears. Muscles coiled ready for anything. Eyes darted from my face to my hands and back.

My arms dropped like lead, gripping the taser until my hands cramped up.

"I'm so sorry. Oh god.... I'm – I'm sorry. It slipped my mind that – "

Stamping down on my urge to hurl, I raced for the bathroom and shoved my head under a stream of cold water.

'He's not here. He doesn't have you, dipshit. You're safe. You are safe,' I told myself.

"Are you alright...?" came a soft voice, sound almost shy.

"Fuck! Shit! Ow..." I groaned, holding the back of my head that I dumbly sent into the faucet. "I'm good. I'm okay. I'm dandy."

That did the trick.

The hit snapped me out of it enough that the urge to hurl disappeared. But it didn't calm my hands, fumbling through the shaking in an attempt to turn off the water.

I hadn't expected Bucky to follow or for him to be looming in the bathroom doorway. I quickly grabbed a towel off the rack and wrapped it around my neck in an attempt to hide my hands from those watchful eyes.

The blue eyes no longer held the air of a lost child. They were haunted once again.

"I'm terribly sorry for the rude wake up call." I could almost kick myself for how my voice cracked.

"Why was I... on your be – " He gasped, eyes going wide, muscles tensing. "Why didn't you run?"

He remembered last night, I guess?

"'Cause I can't? Bum leg and all."

"You ran in here."

I guess I did.

"And it hurts like hell now," I grumbled.

Everything hurt. My body was not happy with me. At all.

His frown only grew by the second. I tried to ignore his intense glare by squeezing water out of my hair.

"Look, nothing happened last night. You had a nightmare. We watched a movie and passed out," I told him.

He took a step into the bathroom, and I matched one away, swallowing a groan of pain at the use of my unhappy ankle.

"You're scared."

"I thought someone else was on the bed, so I'm a little shaky. Sorry," I half retorted.

It took everything I had to hold my ground at his next steps. Backing myself into a corner was not an option I liked. But it's not like I could throw myself out the bathroom window.

A .50 caliber wouldn't even make it through that. Made damn sure of it.

And passing through a wall of solid muscles, that just wasn't happening.

"You were scared last night. I could see it in your body language and eyes."

"Ehh, I would put it under wariness?" I tried to shift my shoulders into a shrug, play the nonchalant card with a flippant wave of a hand.

"Why didn't you leave?" he questioned, voice just above a whisper, a heavy thud echoing each of his steps. "She told you to leave. Warned you of what I've done. What I could have done to you."

The slight shift in his typically demure posture, the mere straightening of his spine, and I was faced with a predator towering over me.

"You should have listened to her."

His presence practically choked the air out of the bathroom. I hadn't backed myself into a corner, but it sure as hell felt like I did. Couldn't even tell if he was trying to intimidate me into running away or answering him properly.

With a deep inhale, I forced my eyes to meet his, trying to feign some sort of backbone. That was when I spotted the tousled mess that was his hair in the periphery of my vision, which he filled with how close he was. I clung to the distraction. It was just enough to let me function.

Finding my voice, I replied as casually as I could. "As if I could leave. You sounded like you were being hacked into piecesss –" I hissed painfully when he grabbed my left elbow.

His grip turned feather light, gingerly shifting my arm until I could see my elbow with ease. The little bruises from last night were covered by his hold.

"It matches perfectly.... I did this. I hurt you."

His shoulders slumped, the threatening air deflating right out of him. He tried to make himself smaller. Didn't help he was the biggest thing around.

"Little things," I waved off and he let my elbow slip from his hold. "...You're not going to cut yourself open again, right?"

He didn't answer. Merely clenched his jaw. I could hear the grinding of his teeth. His hand dropped, his nails likely marring the skin of his palms with the white knuckled fist he made.

His eyes skirted to the side, refusing to meet mine.

I grabbed his collar, pulling him down closer, but he didn't budge. I ended up on my toes instead. He stared back with surprise.

"Don't you dare hurt yourself, Bucky. It's just a small bruise. It's nothing."

Those blue eyes were so conflicted.

"Bucky...."

"If you two are finished being weird, Mr. Barnes, would you mind bringing in the things at the back door?" Eve interrupted.

The man took a large step back, escaping my fingers, and swiftly walked out the bathroom.

"Bucky!! You will not harm yourself!" I yelled after him, stumbling a couple of steps before my knees gave out. "Eve, keep an eye on him."

"I can, but you might want to put on some shorts."

That would be a good idea.

"And maybe actually send a reply to Devon soon," she added with the earpiece that managed to stay in my now sore ear through my sleep.

"Oh damn, I forgot about him." I scrambled for my phone lying on the floor.

"That's a first," Eve laughed. "...Do you still think it's safe being his friend?"

"He wasn't going to hurt me."

Even if he came off more threatening than the asshats who straight up caused me harm. And they had pointy objects.

"You can't be sure of that."

"Bucky doesn't want to hurt anybody, Eve."

"It's not that simple."

"But it really is. That's all that matters," I stated.

But there was a tiny voice in the back of my head nagging about how he saw me as his handler, at least for last night. Even if that were the case, there was no need for him to handle me like I was a fragile sugar sculpture. It's surprising how gentle he could be.

There's never been any harm done on purpose.

He didn't want to hurt anybody.

"You naïve idiot."

Shrugging off the topic, I checked my notifications on my phone.

Two new messages from Boston Cream.

Are you drunk?

Did you pass out?

'The fuck? Why is he checking in with me now of all times? How much should I tell him? Urgh.... It's not like I actually know what the fuck's going on.'

Unlocking the phone, I was met with Bucky's reply that he wrote in my place.

Sorry it took me so long to reply, Devon. You know how it is. Busy as usual. Had to turn down several invitations from others. Though I think I have time on the 20th. I'd love to go with you and we can grab a bite afterwards.

'...What the fuck? How many guys am I juggling?'

I couldn't help the little laughing sigh. This was still far more eloquent than the blabbering mess I threw at Devon when I asked him out.

"What is all this?" I heard Bucky's deep voice ask from downstairs.

"Supplies. To fix the mess Val made. The both of you will help with repairs."

"What repairs?"

I had to wonder how much he remembered of last night.

I quickly typed in a semi coded message back to Devon.

5K My friend sent that. Haha fish. Congrats on the gig. I seriously want to go but it's unlikely that I can make it. Sorry sloth.

Wiggling into a pair of shorts, I yelled out, "Bucky, could you throw some bread into the toaster?! I'm going to take a look at the damage I did!"

"What did you do?" he asked. A beep spoke of the toaster starting its work.

"Uhhh... You may or may not want to use another bedroom?" Making my way down the hall, I frowned. "I don't want to do electrical repairs...."

"You should have thought of that before you sent your crutch through my servo rig."

"I thought you said you could open the door."

"Yes. With the strength of a feeble child."

I wouldn't mind that. It'd stop her from slamming the door into me.

Scooting closer to the hole in the wall, I frowned at the sparking wires.

"Yo, cut the power to here."

This was simple enough if I sort out the tangled mess of wires.

"...What happened here?"

I couldn't help but jump at Bucky's voice coming from directly behind me. I was willing to bet that he could move without a sound even if I tagged him with a bell.

"Eve and I had a fight?" I offered, quickly taking stock of his movements and body.

"...I didn't hurt myself," he mumbled, sitting down next to me.

I glanced his way, sending him a small smile.

Those blue eyes searched my face for a moment before dropping down to where my elbow might be. The bruised one.

"Valeriy..." he called out softly.

I froze, too used to hearing my full first name laced with aggravation or warning. Not like this. This was... nice.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Oh, don't worry about it." I flashed him a toothy grin, waving a hand dismissively. "We're even with how I woke you up."

"You're still upset," he mumbled, looking very much like a kicked puppy.

I rolled my eyes to the hole in the wall. It's almost routine to let the fear be swallowed up by anger.

An escape.

"It's got nothing to do with you, Bucky." I motioned to the wires. "I gave up all this for a reason. I can't handle the mem – " I couldn't finish the word.

Bucky's eyes dropped down to his metal arm. The fingers twitched. A spark of blue light peeked out between the plates of his wrist, the only bit of his arm that wasn't covered in clothing.

"It'll be fixed. They're not going to get to you," I assured, my stomach giving an unpleasant flop at the notion. "I can do it."

Neither Eve nor I wanted to bring anyone else in. Not when he's being hunted by the people who lived unknown inside SHIELD for so long. The less people involved the better for all parties.

I forced a cheerful grin. "Why don't you go eat breakfast first? You must be hungry. I'm going to try and get this done first."

Useless to eat anything that would just come up again.

With a smooth sway of his body, Bucky stood up. At least, he wasn't moving automatically like he did under orders as he made his way downstairs.

The way he moved had such a grace to it. It was like watching a tiger stalk its prey on the NatGeo. Would not mind watching him wander about pointlessly.

Too bad his time was mostly spent staring out the windows.

Huffing the anger back into place, I dug through the box Bucky brought up. A few tools and spare wires. I got down to work rewiring the stupid servos.

"A bit rusty, but you still have your speed," Eve teased on the speakers after a few minutes.

"Oh shut the fuck up."

The faster I got this done, the sooner I could shove everything to the back of my head. A small part of me was glad that this was simple work, and that even after a few years, my fingers still didn't find the movements foreign. Meant this was getting done that much faster.

"You're distracting me."

"Just so you know, your toast is going to get cold."

"Don't want to eat. Don't want to do anything."

At this point, I knew I was being a little whiny brat, but I honestly just didn't want to deal with coming nightmares.

'I wonder how many days I can go without sleep.'

"Your blood sugar is low. You should eat."

"I. Don't. Want. To. Eat," I growled, stripping the end of a new wire and soldering it into place.

'That should be the last one,' I thought, giving the mess a once over.

Eve even flapped Bucky's door a couple of times to confirm.

"It's right next to you, dumbass."

I quickly glanced around me.

She wasn't kidding.

There was a plate of toast soaked in butter and a dollop of ketchup.

That was when I heard the soft sound of something being sawed from inside of the bedroom. Probably drywall.

"Thank you, Bucky. For breakfast."

The sawing paused for a couple of seconds and then continued. He heard the words. Good enough.

It was bafflingly amazing, to be honest. That Bucky still had the capacity for kindness. In his own gruff way.

Little things he'd do to help out. Sometimes it was getting something off the top shelf when I was hopping around like an idiot. Other times, he'd check on my ankle to see how it was healing. He was probably going to frown at it during the next checkup.

Maybe it's why I didn't run last night.

After all the shit he's been forced through, the man was a hero at the end of the day. One stuck in a war with his own mind while demons haunted him.

Maybe I could find the balls to face mine while fixing that arm of his. He's worth it.

"It's noon. Damn it."

.

. ** .

.

Author's Note:

If you enjoyed this part, please consider leaving a vote. They're very much appreciated. ^^