.

.

.

"It'll come back, Bucky." Fingers combed through my hair. Pushing it out of my face.

I reeled back, away from her. Away from those fingers. Slamming into the cupboards in my attempt.

"Bucky, you can lick the bowl instead," a voice echoed in my head.

And that was when it hit me.

"Mom."

It was my mom.

The voice was my mom's.

I remembered my mom.

That was all I could remember of her. Not even a face. Just a voice and a wooden spoon. But it was something.

It was my mom.

By the time I pulled myself back together again, Valeriy was back at the sink, rinsing her hand and rubbing her eyes. Took two steps to reach her from the kitchen corner I ended up in. My hand froze in the air between us.

Break the skull on the counter. Target incapacitated.

Fill the sink. Shove head underwater. Target incapacitated.

There was far too many things that could be used in a kitchen and there were far too little she could do against me. My own mind still unsettled me with how it kept coming up with ways to kill her. But in the same breath, I didn't want to hurt her.

I don't want to hurt anybody. Not anymore.

Dropping my hand to my side in a tight fist, I cleared my throat. To which Valeriy flinched at. Unsuspecting that I would be standing next to her. Far too unguarded.

"More spoon whacking?" she asked lightly.

"Let me see them."

"The spoon?"

"Enough with the spoon. Your burns, Valeriy."

"Oh." She tilted her head back, trying to keep her eyes from blinking. "Please tell me I didn't cook my eyeballs. I remember the egg demonstration in chemistry.... Everything's all blurry."

I caught her arm before she could continue rubbing at her eyes. "They're going to be fine... if you stop irritating them. That help the panic?"

She chuckled shakily.

One of her nervous ticks. A moment to gather herself. Buy a bit of time. But she nodded, as I soaked a paper towel in cold water.

"Thanks, Bucky."

Getting her to hold the paper towel to her eyes, I pulled her hand out of the stream of water. "That should help it a bit."

An angry blister welled up on the side of her index finger. I had a sinking suspicion she forgot what an oven mitt was.

"Keep it under the tap for another twelve minutes. At the very least."

"'Kay," she chirped with a soft smile.

"What are the cookies for?"

"For you."

"Me?"

"Yup. All yours. I've been a temperamental asshat the last few days. Sorry. And I was looking for a dish from the 1930s last night but got sidetracked by sweets. Ended up in Marshmallow's recipes. I don't know if they're from the right time, but they're like old. So maybe the 40s? Don't know if her parents passed them down to her, so they could be super old?"

"Who's Marshmallow?" I asked, walking back over to the kitchen island.

There was dough left in the mixing bowl.

"Uhhh... my grandmother? We don't really talk about her, so my brother and I exclusively call her Marshmallow. We don't talk about our aunt either... since they both... died."

"...Do all of you have sweets for nicknames?" I asked.

Glancing from Valeriy to the cameras in the room, I shrugged and dunked a finger into the bowl of cookie dough for a taste.

"Pretty sure all of them are sweet related things?" was her reply.

'Yum.'

I couldn't resist and helped myself to more, hoping for a memory to come within reach.

"I may steal a cookie or two from you, Bucky. I should... probably check that they're edible."

I hummed a response since my mouth was full of cookie dough. The bowl now empty. Gathering the various cups and spatulas, I made quick work of clean up. It'd hide the fact I practically licked the bowl clean.

I couldn't manage to grasp onto any new memories. All of them feeling so far out of reach.

"Still got another ten minutes under the tap," I chided when she tried to move away and dropped everything into the sink.

She took a deep breath in. "You enjoy sneaking up on people, don't you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said. "...Thank you. For the cookies."

Valeriy flashed a grin. "Have you snuck one yet?"

"No. Have to wait for them to cool."

"Mmm, sounds like a smart idea."

Silence fell between us.

It was... nice.

I almost felt like I could be human. Trapped in this house. It's so different here. I wasn't pointed at targets to shoot. To kill. I was told to protect. I helped the A.I. ghost evaluate the security on a few locations.

She wasn't too happy about my lack of sleep this morning. She'd prod with words, but never forced me to sleep. If I didn't listen, I wasn't wiped. I wasn't stuffed into a metal box. Just nagged.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when Valeriy's head triggered the sensors on the metal plates of the arm.

"I just need a moment, Bucky." If my hearing wasn't enhanced, I wouldn't have heard her over the running water and I would have shifted away. "I don't do too well not being able to see."

She gave me the freedom to move around as I pleased in this house. Hadn't told me to stop scaring her. Even though orders easily slipped through her lips, they were only small little things. Pass the pen. Get out of the bathroom. Didn't want someone to hold her hair. Little things.

For the most part, I could do whatever I wanted. If I wanted right now, I could walk away from her and she wouldn't stop me.

We're... friends.

But how long could this last?

With Hydra on my tail. It was only a matter of time before they located me. And with Hydra in my head, I could easily destroy this fragile place with my own hands.

They should never have placed their trust in something like me.

"Thanks Bucky."

Valeriy straightened up, trying to stretch out only to wince. Her left lower ribs were hurt. Noticed it in what I could remember of that night. But I couldn't remember what I did and I was too scared to ask. Part of me wanted to pretend she ran into the kitchen island. Ran full force into it. By accident.

Looking for a distraction, my eyes landed on a bowl of peeled orange slices. They were... odd.

Oddly small. About the size of my thumb.

Oddly colored. Purple. Not orange. The peel wasn't orange either. It was red.

She ate them almost every day.

With a shrug, I popped a slice into my mouth, breaking the skin with my teeth. An explosion of sweet juice coated the inside of my mouth. I'd either forgotten what an orange tasted like or this was made of sugar. Besides the shape and texture, I wouldn't have guessed this to be an orange.

'The future's weird....'

I couldn't help but eat another one. As odd as they were, they were as good as candy.

"Still another three minutes and sixteen seconds," I told her and left her side for the tray of cookies.

They've cooled enough. Probably.

Plucking one from the counter, my hand automatically held one out beside me. A flash of a plaid dress and then it was gone.

'Who was I passing a cookie to?'

Someone small. Smaller than I was. Back when I was barely taller than a countertop. Done it enough for this to be seared into my muscle memories.

Ignoring the small tremor in my fingers, I carefully took a bite of the cookie I needed to give to somebody else. The crispy outside melted into the gooey center. The chips hadn't had the time to settle back to solid. Each bite lightly burned the insides of my mouth but it also returned a sliver of a memory.

Three little girls. In three little dresses. Plaid. Flowers. Frills. Ribbons. And big blue eyes.

A scrawny blond. Chocolate smudge on a cheek. Grinning from ear to ear. A laugh.

I knew them. I knew all of them. I knew I knew them. But trying to place them was like trying to grab smoke. No matter how I tried. I couldn't.

I needed another.

I needed those memories.

I needed to know who they were to me.

I tore into another cookie. Frantic. Then another. And another. And another.

"Bucky."

My head snapped up at the name. I hadn't heard her approaching. Too distracted. But there she was, standing in front of me.

"She's not going anywhere, Bucky," she whispered so softly.

Valeriy reached up, and I froze. The back of her fingers swept up my cheek. They were wet...? Her thumb swept across just under my lashes.

"You'll remember, Bucky. Now, properly chew what's in your mouth, swallow it down and then breathe," she ordered.

My body automatically obeyed and before long a gasp filled my lungs. It was a struggle to stay standing there, still, and to not shrug off her hand on my shoulder. The smile she offered blurred... with tears?

I was crying?

"There. There. You'll remember so long as you don't suffocate on the damn cookies, Bucky. I'll bake as many as you can eat. So slow down."

My eyes burned and I couldn't handle it. Not with her watching.

So I ran.

"Bucky! The window's reinfor... ced.... Just stay in this room."

I scrambled away from the window. Needed to stay out of sight. Had to hide. I needed to hide.

"Glad to know that even you can't make it through our windows."

"Eve, shut up.... Where the bloody hell is he?"

"You told me to shut up."

"Really not the time."

I could see Valeriy's feet limp the opposite way from where I hid. They spun around, paused, and headed straight for me.

Her smiling face appeared in the gap. "Hey there, Bucky. I'm surprised you fit under there. Kind of.... Come on. Let's get this couch off you."

I shook my head, burying my face behind my arm. "No."

With a grunt from her, the weight on my back disappeared.

"I don't want –"

A blanket hit me in the face and then I was completely covered.

"There. No one can see you. Not even Eve. We won't let them get to you," Valeriy stated. "Now would you like to get out from under there before my leg gives up, Bucky?"

Her hand wrapped around my wrist, pulling insistently.

I crawled towards her. I could feel her arms come around me, pulling me upright. The couch dropped behind me with a thud. Her hand found mine, holding on tightly.

"Did you dislocate anything?"

I shook my head.

Cold air hit my fingers when she peeled back the blanket. I tried to pull my hand away from hers. She was trying to get the bracelet off.

"Don't," I begged.

"It's okay. I'm just changing it to a chipless one. Took five days but managed to finally get the G.P.S. out."

"Spent most of it bent over a toilet bowl."

They were trying a change of topics. A distraction.

"Not helping," Valeriy snapped, fixing the new bracelet into place. "They're not going to find you, Bucky. Eve will have them breaking into their grandparent's home before they catch wind of where you really are. She's cheeky like that. So they won't find you, 'kay?"

When she lifted the blanket, letting fresh air inside, I yanked it back down. I didn't want anybody to see me. Not like this. Barely able to hold it together.

I had expected her to walk away, but she didn't. Her hands found my head, holding me close. One of them traveled in circles on my back.

"Let it out."

At her order, I broke.

My shoulders shook. My teeth ground together in attempt to swallow a sob. I leaned into the comfort. Clinging to it with everything I had. Just this once.

'They're gone.'

They had to be. That memory had to be from over 80 years ago. They couldn't be alive anymore.

I was all alone.

But then there was the man I pulled out of the river.... The exhibit said that he was my best friend.

He's alive.

"You're not alone, Bucky."

.

. ** .

.

.

Author's Note:

If you enjoyed this part, please consider leaving a vote. They're very much appreciated. ^^