11. Silent Suicide
(Ballad)

For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come.

—William Shakespeare,
Hamlet, Act 3: Scene 1

The die is cast; the family unit
   Is broken into splinters.
The only pillars of my strength
Now drift apart along the length
   Of clenching ruthless fingers.

The unbreakable vow is shattered
   And all my strength goes with it;
The only thing awaiting me
(When everywhere I look to see)
   Is death and screams within it.

This world I see is dead to me,
   Burnt to a smokeless ember;
For no more love and only hate
Shall be the ending of my fate,
   Which no one shall remember.

So in my darkest hours of silence,
   When everyone is dead,
I scratch my name from off the page
Of destiny within my rage
   Of solitary dread.

No fate shall follow at my heels
   And keep me company,
Because my world is my inferno,
In which my sufferings will earn no
   Reprieve or set me free.

In silent brooding on my fate,
   I'll take myself away
T' extinguish out the burning fires,
Compelling me in my desires
   To end my life this day.

No longer shall I breathe the air
   Of living happiness,
So long as hatred still exists,
So long as foul contempt persists,
   So long as there's distress.

The air I breathe is rank with hate,
   With anger, fear, regret,
From which I cannot seem to 'scape,
Except within a dreaming landscape
   Free of the looming threat.

And so in silence shall I sleep
   And never rise again;
I'll sleep the endless sleep of death
When the long sigh of my last breath
   Will cut my silver chain.

In outer darkness shall I wander
   In endless dreams tonight,
When all my soul is free from pain;
The only thing that will remain
   Is seeking out that light.

(To be continued...)

A/N: Written on August 2016. Venting. This piece is the result of venting out the struggles of my family situation, especially after a huge fight. I was originally going to post this in my Challenge Yourself collection, but since it's about such a dark topic, I decided to include it in this collection. I decided to rewrite the original version of this piece to make it up to par with the rest of the pieces in this collection.