SYNOPSIS
— short blurb of niki dying; an alternative course of events inspired by a roleplay i did with DORKMUFFIN156

GENRE
— angst (obviously...)
— comfort at the end <3

WRITTEN
— unknown date, but definitely way too early in the morning on my phone while i was suffering an insomniac episode

•

     "Leo—" chokes out Niki, and it's the most terrified he's ever heard them. "Leo, I- I can't feel or- or see anything, where—"

     "I'm here," Leo croaks out desperately, cradling their broken figure in his lap. "I promise I'm here, I'm right here," he all but begs, taking Niki's limp hand in his.

     His head snaps up, eyes meeting with his baby brother's. "Get- Get the first aid kit," he urges, but they both know his medical supplies won't be enough. Nothing will be enough.

     Mikey is frozen in fear, staring at the two of them with a terror that Leo has never ever seen in his baby brother's eyes.

     His jaw steels, using his free hand to point in the other direction. "Go, Mikey! Go!" he pleads. He wants to beg and beg—

     "Leo—" breathes Niki, and Leo loses any thought he had in his mind. "I'm- I'm scared, I'm so scared." He watches as their brows cinch together ever so slightly, the only movement from their eerily limp body.

     They repeat themselves, over and over and over, and Leo's mouth goes dry.

     Niki is made of words. Beautiful, beautiful words that crash and roll off of their tongue in powerful waves. He's seen them create hurricanes with their prose, he's seen them level mountains with their lyrics. In their words, they are strongest; in their words is their heart. Bound to leather-bound pages and sung to willing ears.

     Niki is made of words—beautiful, beautiful words—but their wounds have struck a match, their veins flooded with gasoline. The words scramble and tumble from their lips in an attempt to stop the inferno, but they are wood against flame, delaying the inevitable. Their heart was the first to be set ablaze, and the rest of their body will burn with it.

     "I'm so scared, I—" they cut themself off with a sob that Leo has never heard them cry. "I don't wanna die, Leo. I'm- I'm not ready," they cry, and he can barely understand them in their hysteria. "I- I don't wanna go, I wanna stay- I wanna stay, I can't go, I can't—"

     "You won't die," lies Leo (he knows he's lying, he knows he is), caressing a cheek that will never feel his touch again. "You're not gonna die, you just- just hang on, you're not going to die!"

    Niki's chest heaves with sobs, each breath weaker than the last. He collapses, his forehead pressing up against theirs. "Niki," he croaks, running a finger over the apple of their cheek. "Please, Niki, don't- don't cry, save your strength. You won't die, you're not going to die!"

     Their hiccups turn into gasps, their sobs into shaky breaths, and Leo knows they're leaving to a place he can't follow. "Niki," he pleads, his other hand finding theirs and squeezing it. "No, Niki, please- stay with me, Niks- No, no no no, Niks, come on, Niki, look at me—"

     Leo wakes with a start, his body jolting as his eyes snap open.  His chest heaves with painful gulps of air, and his heart burns.  It takes him a second to remember where he is.

     The lair, his home.  On the couch, in front of their projector-television.  It's late.  He was having a movie marathon with his loved ones.

     It's been weeks since the invasion.  They can't hurt him or anyone around him anymore.

     He reminds himself of that fact, over and over and over, but his heart still races for a danger that, though far, doesn't feel far enough for him to be safe.  He screws his eyes shut, stifling a small whimper as he tries to calm himself down.

     Something stirs next to him, and out of instinctual panic, his hand curls into a fist, and he swings it at whatever is moving.  Whatever it is catches his attack easily, and his heart rate somehow manages to spike even more.

     That is, until his fist is eased open by careful hands, and a comforting voice gently glides through the haze.

    "—o.  Leo, it's me.  It's Niki.  Breathe with me, come on."

     His hand is moved to a chest, pressed up in a way that exaggerates the movement of breathing.  He tries his best to follow.

     Leo doesn't quite reach the same steady rhythm as Niki, but it's a step up from what it was before.  Slowly, he opens his eyes, and he is met with a soft smile on their face.  Their free hand drifts up to his face, their touch against his cheek so gentle that he might as well have been made of porcelain.  They are silent for a few seconds more as he eases into a better, calmer pace to breathe.

     "Better?" they murmur, running their thumb across the apple of his cheek.

     His throat is still dry, so all he does is nod.  They don't seem to mind.

     "I'm here," they reassure, and it feels like they read his mind.  "I'm safe."

     He feels himself get pulled towards the back cushions of the couch, and he just now realizes that he had surged forward in his panic.  It is soft beneath the both of them, a welcome comfort to his exhausted body.  Niki lays down against one of the larger pillows, easing Leo down with them and resting his head in the crook of their neck.

     Here, Leo feels the steady thrum of their pulse against him, reminding him that they are alive.  Here, Leo's fears and anxieties melt away and roll off of him in gentle waves.  Here, Leo feels safe.

     "Sorry," he whispers, burying his head further into their offered comfort.

     Niki gently flicks the side of his head.  "Don't apologize.  You didn't do anything wrong."  Their lips are soft against his temples when they kiss him there, their hand resting on the back of his head.  "Try to get some more sleep, 'kay?  I'll be right here.  Always."

     Always is a hard promise to keep.

     But somehow, Leo doesn't doubt Niki's words.

     With Niki's heartbeat as his lullaby and their embrace as his blanket, Leo closes his eyes.

     It's the quickest he's fallen asleep in ages.

•